Chapter Four :: Xemnas, the Man Who Eats Children

"How dare you steal my debut chapter, newbie!" Vexen shouted angrily, giving Roxas the noogie of a lifetime. It was nighttime and all of the organization members, except Larxene, were in the kitchen once again. Noticing Axel passing him by, Roxas called out for help. Axel sighed and shook his head.

"Get off of him, Vexen. It's your own fault you couldn't last long enough to live to the second game. You know, the author only played the first game for the pretty pictures of Sora at the beginning… and then there was a picture of Roxas that leaked, and you could TELL she was totally going to skip over Chain of Memories," Axel stated. Vexen pouted and released Roxas. Roxas ran to Axel, tears at the edges of his eyes. If one looked closely, it might've looked like some sort of slow motion hugging scene.

"Axel, you save me!!"

"Don't hug me, you weirdo!" Axel said, doing his best to push off his best friend. Scratch that, it was a slow motion hugging scene. Eventually, he gave up and just stood there was Roxas hugged him. Larxene dashed into the kitchen, making Axel self-conscious and pushing Roxas away into Luxord's house of cards. Roxas rose, wondering what he hit.

"Newbie…"
Roxas felt Luxord's death stare from behind him. He laughed uneasily and quickly ran to Larxene. Roxas had kept to his word and returned the diary to Larxene by the time morning came. Larxene welcomed the young boy with open arms. She stared angrily at Luxord. "Hey, leave the kid alone."

Luxord, figuring that messing with the Savage Nymph wouldn't do him any good, merely grunted and sat on the couch next to the pouting Vexen. Demyx yawned, sitting on the edge of the island in the kitchen. He was given two assignments that would've taken three days total, but he had really wanted to look into Namine's diary so he pretty much rushed through them. It was a tiring day for him, but this diary reading would definitely cheer him up a bit.

Larxene smirked, holding up the diary. "So, who will do the honor of—"

"Namine, I love you!" Demyx shouted, ending with a loud yawn. He stretched and rubbed his eyes. At this point, he didn't care about the glare from Roxas because he had stolen Roxas's chance of saying the one thing that he wanted everyone to know. He chuckled slightly. As if everyone didn't know already.

"Are we going to start at the beginning or are we going to do this like savages and just open it to a page randomly?" Zexion asked, obviously pointing out Larxene's random behavior. The only female of the Organization (exception of Xion) frowned angrily and opened to the first page. Zexion smiled to himself. If she was this easy to manipulate, then it was a clear answer why her number was so low.

"Xemnas, the Man Who Eats Children," Larxene started without really thinking. There was another silence in the room. Ever since they got the diary, there has been more silence in the entire castle than there has been in the past year or so. She coughed uncomfortably. "Is the big man upstairs listening… you think?"

"No, probably not," Lexaeus responded. "But someone should go check."

This resulted in the ganging up on Lexaeus and forcing him to go check on Xemnas. Just to make sure that Lexaeus really didn't come back until he said he would, they had Xigbar sit in front of the door with his favorite knives. They promised him some fried chicken if he attacked anyone who seemed suspicious. Xigbar laughed and continued to play with his knives.

Saix stood near the fridge, wondering if this was a good choice. He was second-in-command and this was a diary about his superior. Would it be wrong to read something like this? He paused for a moment, thinking it over. It had been a long time since Xemnas had raised his salary. The stupid old man always didn't treat him as an equal either. Not to mention, Xemnas was always on his high horse, having people bring him food while he, the second-in-command, had to fight down here with these nitwits for even the slightest crumb. A fiery aura surrounded Saix as he realized just how much he felt like dirt when compared to Xemnas. It was about time Saix had a good laugh about his stupid, crazy superior.

"Umm, Saix… are you feeling all right?" Xaldin asked. He was the one closest to Saix and he was feeling the heat. Saix stared at Xaldin with the scariest grin that Xaldin had ever encountered since Larxene when she walked in on him changing. He turned away to find a safer place when Saix grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

"I'm just fine," Saix said. "I've been waiting for this moment… forever."

"Okay, then…" Larxene said after she gained her composure once more. She coughed once. "Let's read this."

Xemnas, Organization's Number One

Previously known as Xehanort, Xemnas is what normal humans like to call '40-year-old virgins'. The first time I met him, I thought he was crazy. I managed to confirm my thoughts due an accidental experiment today.

"Experiment?" Zexion said aloud, disturbing the world of the kitchen.

"Don't MAKE me throw you out there with Lexaeus!" Larxene screeched, upset she had been disturbed. Zexion shut up instantly.

I made cookies while all the members were out on the beach 'assignment' today. Curse them for not taking me. You guys could've fed me first, you selfish bags of dirt! I went into the kitchen and began to bake. While looking for sugar, I found something interesting. Cookie cutters! I looked at them, wondering who they would belong to. Guess who?

Xemnas!

There was a sigh of relief from the audience, but Larxene wasn't quite sure who. She would definitely find out later.

They were in the shape of people. I was curious about this, so I used these cookie cutters and made people cookies. Because I'm such a kind and wonderful person, I colored them like the organization members! I began with Xemnas and ended with Larxene… oops, I mean Roxas.

"I wonder what part she started with and who," Axel joked, causing more death glares. Honestly, the pyro didn't care. He could take them on.

I bit off all of their heads first, starting with Zexion. He thinks he's so smart. It's good he has emo bangs or else his fanbase would've totally kicked the bucket. Anyway, I was about to bite into Marluxia next when I heard a noise behind me. I quickly bit off Marluxia's head.

"Because I'm so beautiful," Marluxia said happily. Everyone stared at Marluxia, sighing in the back of their minds.

I hid in one of the cupboards. Inside, I felt sick because what kind of girl can fit into a cupboard. An unfed one. That's who. Anyway, I looked at the person who had interrupted my meal… it was no other than…

Xemnas.

He stared at the cookies, disregarding the one without the head. He grabbed the Roxas cookie first and ate it slowly, making me sick to my stomach. This guy only likes children?? He picked up my lovely Saix cookie and then broke it in half. He began to eat that one too.

"Why that little…" Saix's face was burning with rage, causing Xaldin to back away and hide behind the couch that Luxord and Vexen. He stared up at the ceiling, sensing Xemnas. "I'm gonna kill that old freak…"

On the other hand, Roxas also felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was that why he got so much attention from the freak? He thought it was because he was good at his assignments. He would never ever be alone with that man again. Axel and Demyx suddenly had the feeling that they had to protect their little from the clutches of a potential nobody pedophile.

He soon left, letting me eat the rest of my cookies. I was angry. How dare he eat my cookies!! I blinked, remembering that Luxord sometimes liked to sew. I noticed his competence in sewing when I found that one of my dresses had a rip in them. He quickly snatched it up and it was perfect the next morning. I quickly walked into his room, looking for a doll of a child. Of course, I found it.

It was perfectly made. I smiled. Luxord must be a good guy deep down.

"Don't," Luxord warned when Larxene took a moment to absorb that sentence. She giggled, staring at Luxord expectantly. The Gambler of Fate turned away and sulked in the corner.

I ran up the stairs to the place where Xemnas always liked to watch that heart-shaped moon of his. He was so enraptured by the moon that he didn't even notice me throw the doll in his direction. It was like ding-dong-ditch and was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. Once I found a safe hiding place, I watched as Xemnas picked up the doll…

And eat it.

Slowly.

I ran to my room and commenced the screaming.

He eats children. Xemnas eats children… and Saix (but only to make Saix look like a fool).

The entire room went silent, except for Saix who was breathing heavily and looking like he was ready to blow up the entire castle. Everyone took a moment to stare at Roxas. He looked absolutely terrified, tears in his eyes and his bottom lip quivering. Zexion was a little irritated, obviously upset that Namine had said his fanbase was only based on his bangs. However, everyone felt the same feeling.

They all stared up into the ceiling at the same time, thinking, "And you're our leader…"


Author's Note

Ahah, I forgot Vexen in the last chapter again. I'm so sorry Vexen fans! (...are there Vexen fans out there?) Anyway, I figured that Namine is always hungry. That's why she's so thin... Feed Namine, guys. She's hungry, just like the rest of us. This chapter was really long. It's hard to keep track of all those members. I just kinda want to kill one off. XD Just kidding, I won't. I won't! Marluxia didn't even have that huge of a role in this chapter, which upset me a bit because I really love how he's so... into himself. XD

Anyway, thanks for reading this! Every hit adds another grain of rice to Namine's bowl! ^_____^