A/N – I know this one is also featured in my other story, but its halarious crude and id thought ud enjoy it so here u go
You're hot then you're cold
You're yes than you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
Katy Perry – Hot n Cold (duh)
The X-rays came back clear, 3 days after the accident and it looks as though he was never injured, sometimes being Human just doesn't seem fair. Bulma thought as she prepared the saw to remove the casts.
"Is the new GR finished?" Vegeta asked irritably.
Great he's pissed again for some unknown reason; I swear it's not even worth the effort to try to predict his moods. Bulma thought even as she replied "Yes, and I've got 4 bots done up as well, they should keep you occupied for a while, and give me time to get some real work done." She muttered, I guess foul moods are contagious, oh well if he can be pissy so can I! She carefully sawed off the casts.
"As if any chunk of metal you toss together could be more than a foolish toy for me" Vegeta replied arrogantly. Attempting to hide his exhaustion, their conduct on the sofa led to yet another restless night. He thought some more reading would help him sleep, after 'accidently' grabbing another romance book, he discovered it only gave him more to think about. Those ridiculous books gave a very clear insight into a human woman's expectations when it came to a relationship with a male. And every one of those wretched books ended in the same thing, marriage. And becoming Mated to anyone was out of the question for him. She deserves someone who can give her the life she wants, who will stick around. If I never intent to mate her then how am I any better than that dumbass she was with before? He thought recalling Yamcha's disrespect for the woman with rage. It's all or nothing, and I can't do all, so I'll give her nothing! He thought as he slammed the door to the lab behind him. Time to demolish those bots!
Bulma's new, darkened mood continued throughout the day, and into the afternoon, when she had arranged for the Son family to pick up their second set of armor.
"Hey B!" Goku shouted as their car landed softly in the grass. The large Sayain crawled out of the cramped vehicle, leaving Gohan and Chichi trailing slightly behind.
"Hey guys they're all finished" Bulma replied with mock cheer, hugging Chichi. "Are you all staying for dinner?" she asked.
Goku looked pleadingly at Chichi as she reassuringly said "why not, we need some girl time anyway, and the guys can have some time in the gym."
"Actually the new GR is all finished, it's big enough for them all." Bulma said proud to show off her work a little.
"Are you sure Vegeta will be ok with sharing?" Goku asked, hopeful.
"He better be, it's my machine! I built it, I own it, and I get to say who uses it. If he gives you any grief you send him to me." Bulma replied menacingly.
The two males took off at a run for the GR, eager to train, and avoid Bulma's foul mood.
"Hello P-M-S!" Chichi chimed after the boys had left.
Bulma did some quick calculations and groaned, Chichi was right, dambit. "Ugh, I guess it is getting out of hand but it's not all biology's fault. That asshole contributed quite a bit!" She replied with venom "I guess I should get some coffee to take the edge off though."
"Good idea" Chichi said calmingly as they made their way to the kitchen.
Bulma knew very well that caffeine was somehow a miracle cure for her PMS, it didn't fix it, but it often took the edge off enough to not go on a complete killing spree.
"This is the one time of the month where I'm more dangerous than Vegeta huh?" She said laughingly as she held the warm cup to her lips.
"Like that's possible woman." A gruff voice replied, as Vegeta rounded the corner. "What the hell are you doing sending those fools to MY GR!"
Chichi was about to start flinging a frying pan at the insult when she saw the smile on Bulma's face a smile which clearly said 'I'm going to make you suffer a long and painful death, and then bath in your blood'. Even Vegeta was taken back at the look of sheer pleasure and violence on the womans face. He nearly grew hard at the sight of it, she looks like a Sayian ready for battle he thought as he heard her draw in a deep breath.
Calmly placing the coffee cup down on the island she rounded the kitchen to stand before the prince.
"It is my GR" She whispered menacingly "In my home, on my land, AND I WILL ALOW IT TO BE USED BY WHOMEVER I PLEASE! You on the other hand, are an ungrateful, arrogant, PRICK, who gets his kicks by being a FUCKING TEASE. One day you treat me like GOLD like I MATTER, and then the next I'm your SLAVE well I am SICK OF IT!" She said as she walked him back shoving him against the wall. "I don't know WHAT THE HELL crawled up your ass today to make you act like this BUT IT STOPS NOW! Because I DO know what crawled up mine, and if you think an OOZARU is SCARY you have no IDEA what happens to a HUMAN WOMAN ONCE A MONTH!" she shouted in his face. "You ain't SEEN scary yet little prince." She whispered with seductive horror in his ear.
Vegeta wrapped what little composure he could around himself and fled the room. Emotions ran rampant through him as he walked down the hall, shock, confusion, fear, arousal, and oddly respect. She had made it clear she was Queen of this castle, and the prince inside of him responded to that. She may be human, but she's a human worthy of the Crown of the Sayians, the though ran through his mind before he could analysis what exactly led to it.
He opened the door to the GR, the sudden drop in gravity causing the other two sayains to turn and look at him. Shock and fear still clear on his face he asked "Kakkarrot, what happens to human women once a month? Bulma said it is more frightening than the Oozaru, and if that's what I was seeing, I think she may be right. Is she going to shape shift?" he asked, rambling slightly.
Goku grew pale as he said, "Oh shit not P-M-S!"
The three Sayians sat in a circle on the floor in the now powered down GR, while Goku explained what little he knew about the horror.
"All I know is it's this thing woman go through once a month, and it only ends when they start bleeding from their um, lady parts" Goku said blushingly. "And if their pregnant it lasts the whole time."
"What lady parts?" Gohan asked eyes wide in fear.
"They don't have boy bits Gohan, they have something different called lady parts" Goku answered, unable to generate a more appropriate response.
"And they bleed!" Gohan replied in shock.
"Don't be ridiculous boy, it's more important to ask do they shape shift? How powerful do they become? How do you defeat them in combat?" Vegeta asked. "If they're bleeding then there must be a wound we can exploit." he said planning a tactical approach.
(Keep in mind Vegeta's childhood, I'm taking into account that he wouldn't have received the 'full talk' on Freiza's ship, and instead would have just been told where to put it and how to avoid pregnancy)
"They don't change shape, but here's the scary part. . . there is no wound!" Goku said in horror. "I've never really figured it all out, and Chichi won't tell me anything. They do become more violent, but not to the point where we have to have combat. The best thing to do is just to avoid them. The problem is usually a lot less if they have had sex though. That's probably why Bulma's PMS is so bad right now."
"Whats sex?" Gohan asked.
"Shut up boy there's more important things to worry about. If she receives sex will she change back?" Vegeta asked mildly hopeful that he held a cure.
"No, by the time they turn, it's already too late." Goku replied. "The only person who could tell us all the answers is Chichi, maybe if you asked her?"
"Is there a chance it's contagious? I couldn't possibly face two of them." Vegeta replied.
"No not like that, but Bulma told me once, that If women live together, it will start happening at the same time for all of them, even if it didn't before." Goku said, fear clear in his voice.
"Oh shit, it's some kind of witchcraft were up against, isn't it?" Vegeta said eyes widening.
"I think so, but they never share their secrets." Goku whispered, as if the women could somehow hear them.
In the kitchen
"Wow, I knew you PMS'd bad but that was AWSOME!" Chichi cheered after Vegeta fled to the GR.
"That'll teach him to cross me when it's my time of the month, dinners almost ready." She said as she peered in the oven.
"I'll set the table." Chichi replied. Completely oblivious to the frightened males telling horror stories a couple buildings away.
