It's been thirteen months, more than a year since bucky had left, but now he was back and it made Steve really happy. For long he had thought his bestfriend was dead, that he would never see him again. Of course, the Bucky who came back wasn't the same at all, something had died in him. After his classes Steve visited him. A nurse was taking care of him, she saluated Steve, and left.
"I thought this day would have never come, you in a hospital bed, and me by your side!"
Steve briefly smiled before sitting on a chair, looking quickly around, no trace of Winifred. He wondered were she had gone. For days she hadn't left her son. Maybe people had eventually conviced her to take some rest. Maybe Bucky himself made a point of it. He was a bit distant and cold with other people exept Steve. He had tried but somehow when he did first it didn't worked but it also felt unatural. With other people it was just a defense mecanism which he couldn't control, with Steve it was somthing which sound false.
"I wanted to know haw it felt. I definitely don't understand why you came here so often...there is nothing great about here."
Bucky smiled, but his eyes looked sad, it was hard for him to joke, but he tried, for Steve. And the blond knew it, and was grateful for that.
"It's good to have you back. I missed you. No one was here to make me do stupid stuff."
It's not Sam or Nat who could have made him ride the Cyclone for instance. Clearly, they are more soft in their activities.
"I'm sorry, I was busy protecting this fuckin' country..."
He looked sad while speaking of that. He couldn't talk about what had happened to him yet and it was pretty normal.
"What happened to you? You went into a magical machine and get out looking like Captain America?"
Bucky was really intrested in what had turn little fragile Steve in Big confident Steve.
"I've been a guenea pig for a new drug from Stark industries. I had to stop it about a month ago, the side effects had become to hard to bear."
Yeah, almost having a heart-attack is kind of complicate to bear. Plus he had trouble to breath again. So Dr. Banner decided it was time to stop. Now, they new their products were working pretty well, but they had to work on the side effets. However, Steve had kept contact with the whole team. They all had become good friends.
"You? A guinea pig? I thought I had told you not to do anything stupid during my absence!"
"It wasn't stupid...plus, it healed me."
On paper it might be stupid, way more stupid than enlisting. But in the end, he is the one standing and Bucky the one who almost died.
"One of us got lucky...it usually was me. The roles have been reverse. Not a fan of that!"
This time he smiled a little bit more truly than he did before. It was good for Steve to see him smile.
"Well, each other turn! I can't be the unlucky one for ever right?"
Steve gave him a supportive smile, he looked compatissant. Steve did not stay much longer. Exhaustmant was showing on Bucky's face so Steve didn't wanted to exhaust him more.
Bucky did not wanted Steve to leave but he didn't wanted to be a weight for his friend. He was scared of being alone, he was scared that if he felt asleep he would woke up in the cold cage from where he had been rescued. He wanted compagny, especially Steve's one. He had miss him a lot, and Steve was not looking at him with pity which was enjoyable. Most of the people who entered his room a their eyes full of pity and sadness, they didn't know what to say. Whereas Steve was at least trying to behave has he always did with him. He tried to do sarcasm, and jokes.
Steve spend the night drinking beer with Sam and Natasha, talking and joking. It was nice to have them. He hoped that someday Bucky would be here with them, smiling, laughing has they did still a year ago. Natasha asked for an update on Bucky's state, she didn't know him, but she was intrested because he was Steve friend. She was working since a few months at Stark industries as an assisstant for paper, but she was more of her bodyguard. Natasha was a very strong woman, she knows martial arts. No one wants to piss her of, she has enough strength to put down a small amont of trained soldier. At the end of the evening, she told to Steve that Bucky could maybe have a new model of prosthetic from Stark industries. It was something he could tell him, when he'll be ready. Bucky still couldn't talk about his lost arm, neither about what he had lived, not explicitly at least. He needed time to process what had happen to him, and Steve would give him that time.
The next morning Steve and Sam went on their usual jogging session – Yeah, those nine months really changed Steve – and after a quick shower Steve went to see Bucky brought him black coffee as he likes it from his favourite store. The nurse was in the rom when Steve came in, he saw the scar on Bucky shoulder, where his left arm should have been. When Bucky saw Steve he got embarassed and hide under the covers, hiding, has he could, his shoulder. Bucky was feeling sick to his stomach, he hated that Steve had seen this horror, he hated himself. And at thta moment, he wished he had died on that cell. As for steve, he had a shock seeing it, but did not let it show, he just gently smiled at his friend, saluated the nurse who left and put down the coffee on the night table next to Bucky's bed.
« You haven't drink one of those in a long time right ? »
Steve is almost certain the coffe in the army is disgusting.
« I'm sorry you had to see that »
Bucky held his shoulder, and looked like a hurt puppy. He was ashamed of himself, and Steve hated seeing Bucky like that. He wants to help him, he will help him, he quite doesn't know how, but he will.
« What ? your face ? oh, don't worry, I'm use to see it you know… »
That made Bucky laugh just a little, if Steve hadn't have been focused, he would have miss it. See bucky smile and laugh was absolutly great. He wanted to see that more often, rather than see hurt and lst Buky again.
« Sorry, You could have never seen me again, but I've been saved »
« Don't apologize for that, I missed your head ! »
This probably came out a little bit too much. It made Steve blush, and Bucky felt warm in his cheeks, not enough to blush. Bucky don't blush.
« anyway, have you any ideas on when you'll be out there ? »
Being stuck in a hospital bed suck Steve knows that, but more importantly he wants Bucky t be better and so he can hang out with him again. He wanted to have his best friend back. He'd have to wait two weeks before Bucky can get out. He left him on this point, sadely he had classes to follow.
The ancient greek art is caracterized by blablabla whatever, Steve didn't listened a word of what his teacher had say, he was too busy thinking about Bucky. Do you know the expression far from the eye far from the heart? Well, it's true. Steve had dated guys while Bucky was out of the country, his love for Bucky had faded away, but somehow a little spark in his heart was still burning, even though, he did not realized it yet.
