Maa, so I'm not 100% happy with this chapy, but as I suffer from lazytitus I'm not really concerned.

FF is fucking with their system again, so we'll see how this works. Also my internet is rebelling. Bitch. ….

…..

"You done now?"

Iruka leant across the counter as he asked the words casually, watching as Anko gulped down the last mouthful of liquid chocolate. He was going to regret giving her that much sugar at nine in the morning, he just knew it.

Nodding she set the mug to the side, her dark brown eyes locking with his in a rare moment of seriousness. "Uh, Iruka, you-"

"I know"

They'd known each other long enough, survived one of the most disturbed individuals in Konoha's history together. Despite how they may have appeared to the outside world sometimes, they loved each other dearly. Enough that at times like this – no explanation was needed.

Anko heaved a sigh of her own. "Still – I'm sorry. I mean, he seemed so nice and sincere! Nothing psychotic or scary about him! And-"

Iruka held up a hand, stalling the rant mid-stream "Yes, Anko, I know, just stop, ok? How'd you hear anyway?"

"Ran into a council worker this morning when Gai took me out to breakfast, wanker thought the whole thing was funny"

Iruka let his eyes slide shut at the vicious tone. "Anko, please tell me you didn't hit him"

The silence was enough of an answer.

"Anko"

"Ok! So I whacked him with my crape dish, he deserved it"

"Oh, Gai took you to the crape place? Very nice"

"I know right?"

Smiling Iruka turned back to cleaning the kitchen while Anko started playing with the lid for one of the left over containers.

"So- how's the big guy in bed?"

The pot he'd been putting away hit the floor with a loud bang when it slipped from his fingers. Iruka glared the innocently smiling woman seated at his counter as he picked it up, trying in vain to fight the blush spreading across his face. "I don't believe that's any of your business Anko-chan"

The Kounichi made a face at the hated suffix. "Well, either you tell me or I just go and harass Ibiki"

All humor left Iruka as he turned back to look at her. "Anko, don't, alright? He's got enough shit to deal with in the village without you adding to it, just leave the guy alone"

Anko's grin faded. "I was joking"

"No you weren't, and he told me about that date you set him up on. You can't blame him for hiding his sexuality after that"

The pretty face twisted slightly into a snarl. "That damn bitch. Trust me if I'd known that's what she'd do I would have never let her near Ibiki"

Iruka let a small smile tilt his lips. "I know, but just let him deal with his personal life the way he wants ok? Not everyone's going to find the right match just like that."

Anko looked a little crest fallen at that, but nodded her head in agreement – until a terrifying smile crept back onto her face. "Hey, Ru-ru…"

"….What?

"You like Ibiki, right?"

The brown eyes widened when Iruka got what Anko was getting at. Quickly he whipped around, hands up in the universal sign for 'stop'. "No! I mean, yes I- I like him, but no to what you're thinking"

"But Ru-"

"You Are Not Setting Me Up With Your Boss!" Iruka hollered the words, forgetting momentarily that yelling probably wasn't the best idea on Sunday morning.

"But whhhy?"

Iruka sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose at Anko's pitiful whine. "Because I just told you to leave him alone and two, because the poor guy doesn't deserve that"

Anko frowned, cocking her head to the side in confusion. " Deserv- deserve what?"

Iruka snorted. "Oh please, he has to deal with you every day, not to mention the other stuff he's gone through, and you want to inflect him with me on top of everything? Just give the guy some space."

"Inflect?" Anko look downright offended at that word. Iruka rolled his eyes.

"I just meant he doesn't need more crazy, and I count as crazy"

"Oh" not even Anko could refute that logic. "But if-"

"Anko" dark brown eyes leveled the plotting woman with a hard glare. "Leave. It"

Anko gave a mournful sigh and slouched over the counter top. "Fine, I'll be good – for now"

Chuckling Iruka reached over and patted her gently on the head. "And that's all I'll ever ask for. Now, help me with some shopping?"

A crooked grin tilted Anko's lips, showing some fang as she nodded and hopped up and went in search of Iruka's shopping bags while the chuunin went to slip on some clothes. Anko waited for him in the hall and helped him seal the broken door before slipping her arm through his.

Comfortable silence settled over them as they walked from the building and down the street to the market. Until Anko grinned, eyes flickering slyly toward her companion.

"So – how big is he?"

"ANKO!"

…..

Ibiki mentally sighed as he strode down the road to the Market, people nonchalantly scurrying out of his way as he walked.

It's not like he was trying to get the reaction, he wasn't even doing anything other than walking! But still people, shinobi and civilian both parted a clear path around him. In one way it was nice, Ibiki was a big guy and dodging people wasn't an easy thing with his girth. It was also depressing, he'd never purposely tried to be scary to the village residents, and it's not like he asked to be the way he was.

Often, especially in times like this, Ibiki wished he'd been born someone else.

Fighting back another sigh Ibiki trudged on, keeping his head up and his face blank, trying to tell himself he didn't see the looks passing people shot his way.

On the upside, it was a gorgeous day, warm, sunny, but with a light breeze so it didn't get uncomfortably hot. His sink was fixed, apartment cleaned and all of his laundry, including bed sheets, were washing at the Jounin Community laundry mat. Now he was taking advantage of the weather and restocking on groceries to avoid another morning like yesterday.

Konoha's outdoor Market was a truly wonderful place. It was quality shopping and entertainment, all wrapped into one place.

The farmers, bakers and cooks of the Fire Country prided themselves in one thing – excellence. Whether it was fresh tomatoes or dango, if it was sold in the Market, it was good. It had to be, as if the food didn't match up to the standard, the seller wasn't given a booth and was sent away to try and peddle their goods on some other street.

The actual market grounds stood next to Central Park and eventually turned into the restaurant district of town. Everyone went to the market, shinobi and civilian's mingled together more or less comfortably. Ninja in tight packs or stalking alone on silent feet and civilian's far more noisy, paying less attention to their surroundings unless they were openly gapping at something (usually a ninja, though Ibiki couldn't really begrudge them. In cases like Gai or himself it was really hard not to stare)

Ibiki did like going to the market, even if he didn't like the attention he garnered. There was something so entertaining about crowd watching, like the group of girls dragging one of their poor friends along with them as they got her ready for a date later that day.

Hiding a smile at the scene Ibiki turned toward his favorite fruit stand, enjoying the sound of a small street band preforming behind him. The stand was run by a small family, Mim, the mother and her two daughters, Jin and Kiy, were bright, friendly individuals. Ibiki liked buying from them because they didn't stare or treat him differently, like some of the other venders did, and would often just chat with him.

"Ah! Morino-san!"

Ibiki smiled, feeling the long scar that crossed his mouth twist at the action, as the pretty heart shaped face turned his way, lit up with a smile of its own.

"Good afternoon, Mim-san"

"It most certainly is" beaming she turned her face up to the blue sky before glancing back at him. "Cold weather market days suck; I live for days like this to remind me why we do this. The usual?"

Ibikii chuckled as he handed over his bag. "Please, and if your cousin sent anything special over slip one in. I'll either figure out something to do with it or pawn it off as a gift"

Mim laughed before nodding and moving to fill the bag from the baskets being kept cool in the back of the cart. Ibiki's fair was simple, grapes, apples, pears, plums and if in season kiwi and whatever berries Mim had decided to harvest that year. Mim also had a cousin who had a fruit farm over in Grass who occasionally sent over some of his harvest for her to sell, like dragon fruit, star fruit, mangos from Wave or the like. These kinds of fruit usually cost a hefty price at the traveling merchant's carts, with good reason, so they were often purchased as a special treat by Konoha's inhabitants. Mim however sold the special fruits at dirt cheap prices, making them in hot demand and earning herself a tidy sum, despite the lower price.

Ibiki always got at least one as, if he didn't like it he would use it as a gift. He'd been giving Anko fruits for her birthday the past six years under the story 'to try for a new dango flavor'.

Ibiki leant against a tree growing next to the stand as he waited on Mim, watching Jin and Kiy helping other customers at the other end of the stand, pretty and open smiles on their heart shaped faces as they spoke respectfully to people, even the more difficult ones. People Ibiki liked to call moron shoppers.

"Well, Morino-sama"

Stopping himself from starting at the voice, spoke far too close to his person for him to be comfortable, Ibiki turned his head to see a tall, well-muscled man standing very close to him.

"Kine-san" Ibiki growled the name, black eyes narrowing as he fought the urge to step away.

Kine was Mim's husband. Ibiki didn't know the details of their marriage but he never really got the vibe that they were in love, maybe years ago, they had been, but they certainly weren't now. Kine himself, in all honesty, didn't seem like a bad guy. He was fit, obviously hard working; he would help tend to the fruit gardens while Mim kept everything else going smoothly. Even if the two weren't in the honey moon stage anymore, they did work well as a team. And Jin and Kiy were great girls, so they'd obviously done something right.

Despite this, Ibiki could just never bring himself to actually like the man. He was just a little to – crafty for Ibiki's taste. He had this sort of slimly feel around him that gave Ibiki the shivers, he wasn't sure why he got that particular vibe, he just did. Kind of like Kakashi just vibrated 'sexy' all the freaking time.

Usually this didn't matter as Kine didn't come with the girls to the market very often, opting to stay at home on Market days, saying his pretty girls sold more than he would anyway (Ibiki had to conclude he had a point, though he thought it had more to do with attitude and less with gender.)

"So-" Kine shifted even closer into Ibiki's personal space, making the big Jounin frown in confusion and fight the urge to step back. "There was a rather interesting rumor going around this morning"

Ibiki glanced at Kine out of the corner of his eye, noting that the other man was about a step and a half away from being pressed against his side, something Ibiki decidedly did not like, even as he tried to figure out what the hell Kine was talking about. He settled for raising one brow while shifting away from the other man.

Kine seemed to understand the look as he smiled in away Ibiki knew far too well from working undercover. A winning or disarming smile was actually very hard to achieve, and though it was very useful when done right to set people at ease. The spies had always made jokes about the dangers of armatures attempting it as more often than not they just ended up looking constipated. Not winning or charming in the slightest.

The most disturbing part however, was not that Kine looked like a mongoose with bowel cramps, or that he thought the smile looked flirty and sexy, but that the man was directing said 'flirty' smile at him.

That was wrong, on so many levels.

"Is something wrong with your face Kine-san?" attempting to ignore the implications of the situation, because they couldn't mean what he thought they meant, Ibiki forced himself to ask the question in a bored, uninterested way. Watching in silent amusement as Kine quickly straightened out his facial expression.

"Ah, no! just, ah"- Kine shifted forward again, making Ibiki frown. "I was wondering Morino-san, if you liked sushi"

Ibiki raised a brow again. "Once in a while, I suppose" why are you talking to me? it was getting hard to keep the confusion and hesitance from his voice, and even harder to keep it off his face, especially when Kine smiled again, less horrifying this time, but still pretty bad.

"You know a new take out place opened up down the street? Apparently it's really good"

Ibiki blinked. He could not the life of him figure this conversation out, he felt like he was back at the academy and the teacher was going through clone ninjutsu. His training and common sense stated Kine was flirting with him, but logic didn't match that.

Kine's face twisted slightly in to something like annoyance then he sighed, the sick smile back on his lips as he leant forward, lowering his voice slightly. "There's a great hotel in the civilian quarter, take out for after"

Ibiki's brain shut down. Pure while rage flashed through his vision as the realization hit home. His first thought actually was how dare he. How dare he suggest such a thing when Mim and his two beautiful daughters were standing mere feet away.

Confusion quickly followed the anger however when the realization that he was being hit on, by another man, when he hadn't been approached by anyone, male or female, in a sexual manner in his own village since he was a teen. And even then most had been arranged dates made by his parents.

More over Kine hadn't spared the big Jounin much attention, if any, in the past. To go from that to a straight out offer for an affair-

"There was a rather interesting rumor going around this morning"

Ibiki froze; numb horror seeping into his veins.

"Morino-san?"

Kine's hesitant voice brought him back to the present with a start. The black eyes flickered toward the other man, rage bubbling back to the surface, helping distract from the other emotions filling his mind. Kine's expression twisted into one of fear when the big Jounin leant down into his personal space, the black eyes hard and glittering with anger.

"I'm not so naive to think I can change people by pointing out their errors, so let's try this instead" Ibiki fought to control his voice from shaking or rising above a low growl. "If I ever hear from anyone about you cheating on Mim, I will find you and show you exactly how hard you have to hit someone to knock his front teeth out."

Ibiki watched as the sun tanned face paled, signaling the threat was understood, before pushing away from the tree and walking back over to the cart. He forced a small smile back onto his face as he paid Mim, collecting his bag and wishing her a good day before he turned and stalked off through the crowd.

Ibiki paid no mind to the people scrambling out of his way as he walked, simply too preoccupied to care.

"There was a rather interesting rumor going around this morning"

Ibiki fought to keep his face blank as his teeth grit together. He was head of Interrogation; he knew rumors, between himself and his teams they watched, controlled and started many of the grape vines around the village. Information was power and what and how it was fed to the population was just as important.

To start a rumor was tricky, and you always had to be careful with just what was said as, it was going to be repeated, again and again, like a game of telephone. So to insure the story remained mostly the same from beginning to end, one had to make the original story so interesting that no one along the line felt the need to 'embellish' it. The whole process was a work of art, one he and his staff were very good at.

Unfortunately, they weren't always in control, due to something starting up in the civilian quarter or in the mission room. Genma and a few others were tasked with prowling the city, keeping a firm hand on leaks and starting the wanted ones, but sometimes, they either slipped – they were only a few, they couldn't watch everything all the time – or they fell prey to being human, forgetting for just a moment that anything they said could be repeated. Sometimes they just forgot themselves and said something without thinking.

Ibiki couldn't fault them, and never had. And he was sure he would still feel so – later, when his life wasn't blowing up in his face.

Kine's move on him meant one thing. And really, it was easy to guess a few ways such a rumor could have started. Someone could have seen him and Iruka in the bar, or when Iruka took him home. There was also this morning, Anko and Iruka weren't the quietest of people and the door had been broken. Anyone of Iruka's neighbors could have heard.

Unfortunately common sense didn't make everything ok.

Suddenly a sense of panic welled up in Ibiki chest, the realization of people knew hit home like a sledge hammer to his chest. Ibiki was not embarrassed of his sexuality, it wasn't the fact they people knew he was gay that scared him, it was the fact that to most of the village he would no longer be viewed the same way. Ibiki didn't like his reputation, he never had, but it was better than some of the other options out there.

Fear and awe may not have been the nicest things to be associated with, but they had kept him safe. They kept his staff doing their work, and strangers from trying to take advantage. And so long as the other villages remained properly scared of him, it kept the elders away from his personal life.

But clearly that was about to change. Ibiki could already feel a difference in the stares sent his way and couldn't figure out how he hadn't noticed before. They were calculating, pondering, so much different than the looks he'd been receiving for years now.

Ibiki may not have liked his reputation, but frankly, his reputation was all he had.

Not really aware of where he was going, just knowing he had to keep walking; Ibiki turned the corner into the restaurant district. There were fewer people milling about and it made walking easier, but it also made him a good target of attention to the people dinning on the outdoor patios.

Silently cursing Ibiki moved to duck into an alley, planning on walking the back streets to avoid attention until he could figure this whole thing out; when a flash of purple hair caught his eye. Looking over Ibiki spotted Anko seated at a small table outside of a coffee house with Iruka, shopping bags by her feet as she laughed over something one of them had just said.

Without a second thought Ibiki stalked over, grabbed her arm, hauled her from the chair and dragged her into the alley. Thankfully, this was not a strange to anybody watching. Anko was his 'evil sidekick' and therefore, dragging the woman into an alley with no warning – wouldn't set off any alarms.

"Whoa there big guy, where's the fire?"

Ibiki let go of the small arm and turned to the Kounichi. Anko was regarding him with a half amused half concerned look, not sure yet whether or not this was serious.

"Someone talked, and it wasn't us"

Her expression instantly turned serious, knowing the reference for an uncontrolled gossip stream. Gossip may have been a strange thing to control, at least to the eyes of most people, but a misplaced rumor could break trust, cause loss of respect and start fights.

Now Ibiki realized this wasn't going to start a national disaster, but really, after all his years of service he was owed the right to at least one panic attack.

"About ?" Anko's dark eyes were wary.

Ibiki hesitated for a moment, doubt welling up. "You didn't talk to anyone, did you?"

Anko frowned. "About what?" She tiled her head. "You mean this morning?"

Ibiki nodded, not looking at her. Ok, so he was entitled to his fit, but it didn't mean he enjoyed discussing his sexuality or anything to do with the subject with his perverted, yaoi loving assistant.

Anko shook her head. "No, of course I didn't, Ibiki, I'm may be a bitch, but I wouldn't do that. Well, ok, I would, but I like you, so I didn't."

Ibiki nodded. "I know that, I just had to ask"

Anko frowned. "Why?" the frown deepened before the brown eyes widened. "Did someone-"

"You Will Not Finish That Question"

It was only due to years of training on how to control his facial expressions that Ibiki kept the blush from colouring his face. Unfortunately his interruption was answer enough for the Kounichi.

"Holy crap" there was a definite worrying gleam in the dark eyes. "Someone hit on you. I'm right, aren't I?" Ibiki fought the urge to flee at the terrifying grin Anko was currently modelling and his respect for Iruka went up again before the smile faded back into a frown. "But, who blabbed?"

"That's what I'm asking, Anko"

Sighing Anko bit at her lip. "Well, someone might have seen you with Ru, you guys were at the bar right?"

"And I was out of sight the whole time"

Both T&I workers turned when Iruka stepped closer, coming to a stop in front of them before he leant against the wall. "I was tucked in the corner the whole time, avoiding being spotted by anyone who might try to offer up their 'comfort' after my marvellous day with the elders"

Anko hummed. "Well when you went home then"

"I kept to the back streets and chakra scanned for other people the whole way. I may have a bit myself, but I wasn't so stoned as to believe parading that Morino Ibiki was drunk around was a good idea. No offence, Ibiki"

Ibiki shook his head and waved it off. Iruka had been in the right. "Which leaves this morning, but given the door was hanging from the hinges, anyone could have heard. Anko wasn't being cryptic"

Iruka shook his head this time. "I have a silencing jutsu around my place. Thin walls; I got tired of listening to my neighbor's music and tip-toeing around the house. Even with the door off, no one would have heard"

"But just cause they didn't hear, doesn't mean they didn't pull something out of nothing for something interesting to talk about. You have Jounin in your complex; if they saw Ibiki leaving they'd say anything with no proof just to get attention. I'd know, I am one"

Ibiki snorted while Iruka nodded. "Fine, five people. Four Jounin, one Chuunin. Hani-san, Gome-san and Kakashi-san are all out on missions, Iwashi would set himself on fire and skydive off the Monument before he gossiped about Ibiki, and it would be a miracle for Raidou to wake up before ten on a day off-"

Iruka cut off, eyes sliding shut in realization as one hand came up to pinch the scar crossing the small nose before he muttered something.

"Iruka?" Ibiki frowned when the Iruka sighed, the dark eyes opening and looking at him with something between exasperation and ire.

"Genma" the small mouth twitched up into a tolerant smile. "Genma just started dating Rai a few months ago. There's a good chance he spent the night."

Ryth: *cackles evilly*

Genma: great, get me killed why don't ya?

Ryth: Aw come on, I don't kill people!

Genma: *blank stare*

Ryth:...often...

Genma: *facewall*

ok, FF is screwing around again and I have no idea what is happening, seems like they've removed the Bold and italic options among other things, and I'm still puzzling through it. I'll live of course, after I get over my rage. *angry face