Chapter 4
Paige orbed into an empty side street and went to the restaurant. She wanted to arrive early, because she had to think about the story she wanted to tell Cole. It was really strange, to imagine, that this young man was really Cole and he didn't remember anything about his former life, nothing about witches or demons. Paige shook her head, when she saw him coming into the restaurant. He saw her immediately and came to her with a friendly smile.
"Good evening sit down please." Paige told him.
Kevin sat down and watched her intently. She looked more relaxed and that was a good sign.
Paige while away the time with some small talk until they got their orders. Then she started to tell. "Of course you are wondering about my behaviour, aren't you?"
Kevin nodded.
"The whole story is really complicated. First I should tell you, that you really aren't Cole. You look like him, but he is dead, as I already told you. He died last spring, after you already turned up in Seattle."
"Okay" Kevin listened carefully.
"He was my ex brother-in-law and we had some problems with him, my sisters and me."
"Problems?"
"Yes, how can I describe it. My sister Phoebe separated from him and they got divorced. But he didn't want to accept it. He oppressed us and made life hell for us. He didn't want to believe that it was over. He blamed me and my other sister for the divorce and he thought that we would keep him away from his ex wife. It was a nightmare."
"And the police couldn't help."
"Police, you know, they don't have the possibility to do a lot in such cases."
"Yeah, that's true, but if he was violent." Kevin asked.
"It was subtler, he was clever, .." she looked at him. "sorry, but I don't want to talk about it. I simply want to forget it." she excused.
"Okay, I can understand that. But now he is dead, isn't he?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, for heaven's sake he is. I know that sounds heartless, but that's what I feel." she smiled at him excusing. "He had an accident and he is surely stone dead."
"You have seen it?"
"No. What makes you say that?" Paige asked alarmed.
"I thought, you mentioned it?" Kevin asked surprised.
"No, you got me wrong. It was a car accident and alcohol was involved, you know .."
"Oh, I see."
"Yes, it was really sad, but it was the best, for everybody." she stated firmly.
For him, too? Kevin didn't completely believe this story. A car accident at the right time and nobody was responsible. That's a good one. But if they were really oppressed than he couldn't accuse them, perhaps it was their only possibility. Paige gave him a long hard look and pulled him out of his thoughts.
"Now you can understand, why it was such a shock for me to meet somebody who looked like Cole."
"Surely."
"Okay and you can imagine that it would be awful for the rest of my family, too." Paige looked at him hypnotizing. "Especially for Phoebe, she is over it recently, and if you appeared, ..."
"She would be floored."
"Therefore please give us rest, my ex brother-in-law is dead and we don't want to remember him. I know the asking to leave San Francisco is too much, but don't come quite close to us."
"I understand your problem, but what can I do, I'm a journalist here and I have to work all around the city. And I even don't know whom I have to get out of the way."
"Leave that to us." she didn't want to argue with him.
But Kevin didn't give up that fast. "But it would be useful to know, where I shouldn't go." he told her innocently.
"I already told you, that it isn't necessary, as long as you don't want to spy on us." she said with a friendly smile, she would tell him her address under no circumstances .
"Why shouldn't I? When you are absolutely sure that it's not me." he asked once again
"Yes I'm sure. Didn't I tell you already ?"
They starred into their drinks in silence. Kevin didn't know, what he should think about it. He sincerely hoped that he wasn't this Cole, but she didn't convince him completely.
Meanwhile Paige hoped that she had persuaded him to stay away from them and that he would stop snooping around. She hoped this story would be a salutary shock for him. She smiled when she thought that she really hoped, that this story could deter Cole. But somehow she knew, that this could be possible. And who wanted to be a stalker? "I didn't want to spoil your evening, but I thought you have to know it." she finally explained.
"It's okay, thanks for your honesty." Kevin tried not to sound ironically, because he wasn't sure, that she was absolutely honest.
"Okay." there was nothing else to do for Paige and she searched for her purse.
"No, don't bother, I'll pay the bill." Kevin said.
"Thanks. Okay, I hope you'll have a nice time in San Francisco." She said and stood up.
"As long as I get out of your way." he replied ironically.
"Well, then." Paige wanted to go as fast as possible. She turned around and left the restaurant, while Kevin was still sitting at the table thoughtfully .
Outside the restaurant Peter was waiting in his car. He listened to the radio and watched the exit. He was bored. How could Kevin persuade him to do this. He could sit in his new apartment together with Helen, but no ... Finally the door opened. But it was only a young couple, that appeared. They strolled away hand in hand. No, hopefully Kevin will hurry up a little bit, he thought. He didn't want to wait for ages. Every bone in his body was already aching.
It seemed to Peter that he had really waited for ages, when the young woman opened the door finally. Peter expected that she was going to a parked car, but she passed by. Oh no she walked, he thought and jumped out of his car to follow her. Finally she walked around a dark corner and disappeared in an alley. He wondered, what she wanted in this ominous area, it was almost frightening. This could be very interesting, he thought. He tried hard to follow her, he didn't want to lose her under no circumstances. But when he turned into the side alley carefully, the woman was gone. Damn it, that couldn't be true, Kevin would kill him. Peter looked around. It was a dead end alley, it was impossible to disappear. But she did it. Peter walked along the street, he was at a loss.
How could she manage to vanish into thin air. Was he mistaken? Didn't she walk into this alley. He shook his head. He had been absolutely sure, but he must have been wrong. Perhaps it was his tiredness or whatever, it was a mystery to him. Sighing, he walked back to the restaurant.
When he arrived, Kevin was already standing in front of Peters car. He was still in thoughts.
"Hey, Kevin" Peter shouted and went to his car. "I'm so sorry, but I lost her, I don't know how that could happen to me." He excused.
"It's okay." Kevin muttered.
"Hey, what's going on? Is everything alright with you?" he asked surprised, normally Kevin would give him a hard time, if he lost the woman.
"Yeah, let's drive to your apartment, Peter. I'll tell you everything there."
"Okay!" Peter answered and went into his car.
When they arrived at Helen's and Peter's apartment, they went into the living room. When they finally sat down, Peter asked "So, what was going on? Don't keep us on tenterhooks any longer."
Kevin groaned and looked at his friends. He wasn't in the mood to talk about it. But then he asked "Tell me, do you think I could be such kind of guy, who could oppress or stalk women?"
"What made you think of it? Did she tell you that?" Peter asked dismayed.
"No, she told me again, that I'm not this guy. But this guy, who looked like me, was married to her sister and when she wanted a divorce, he flipped out and pursued her and her sisters."
"Oh!"
"Yes, oh. And I'm wondering the whole time, if I could do something like that." Kevin said thoughtfully. "I mean, do I look like that? Do I behave like that?"
"Why are you assuming, that you are this guy?"Helen asked.
"No idea! Actually I don't do it. But she desperately tried to convince me that it's not me. But if it is me, I would do that, too. I mean if I were in her position."
"I can't believe that you could do that. I even don't think that you have anything to do with that. And there are two sides of everything. Believe me, this guy would tell you a very different story." Peter told him convinced. "But there are such men, who don't want to accept that a woman wants to separate." Helen pointed out.
"Do you think that I belong to them?" Kevin asked angrily.
"I haven't said that. But I think you can't see just by looking. You don't know what somebody could do out of sheer desperation." But when she saw Kevins annoyed expression, she added. "It doesn't mean that I think you are that sort of man. But you have to admit, that your amnesia must have a cause."
"Yes, thanks. So, you are thinking that I was running around like a maniac only because my wife had separated from me. And sometimes she had enough of me and caused an accident?" Kevin asked furiously and added. "But unfortunately I didn't die, but turned up miles away in Seattle."
"That is rubbish, Kevin. She told you that it isn't you and so you aren't it, okay?. Don't rack your brains over this nonsense."
"You can talk, Peter."
"Why did she actually tell you about it?" Helen broached the subject again.
"Because she wanted me getting out of the ways of her family. But of course only because I look like this guy."
"Probably you only look like him, everybody has his double." Peter said.
"Well I could do without such a guy."
"It's easy, you simply don't deal with it anymore, forget this story. You have to concentrate on something else for a change." Peter decided.
"I don't know, if I can do that."
"Or you are going to a psychiatrist finally." Helen suggested.
"Helen, please not again. That's not my thing."
"But if you want to know more about your past, that will be your only way."Helen insisted on her suggestion.
"But do I want to know it?" Kevin asked doubtfully.
"I thought, that you wanted to know about it. You have always told that." She said surprised.
"Mm, yes." he said dissatisfied.
"I wouldn't think too much about this woman and her story. Perhaps it was only a fairy tale. Because she was really strange. Can you imagine, when she came out of the restaurant, she walked to a dark alley and probably she had vanished into thin air. It was a dead end street, therefore it was impossible to disappear, but she did it." Helen and Kevin watched him skeptically. "I mean it." he reinforced.
"He is only embarrassed, because he had lost her." Kevin entrusted Helen.
"And it's better to see women, who disappear into thin air." Helen agreed.
"But that it was." Peter said offended
"Yes, of course."
"Certainly."
When Paige arrived at home, luckily she found only Piper and Leo in the living room. "Everything is alright." she told them. "As far as it is possible."
"What has happened? What did you tell him" Piper asked curiously.
"I thought it would be a good idea to tell the truth, or better some kind of truth. Therefore I told him, that he looks like my ex brother-in-law, who started to tyrannize us after the divorce." Paige told them with a self-satisfied smile.
"And did that work?" Leo asked skeptically.
"Yes, he finally promised me to get out of our ways." Paige said with a shrug.
"Do you believe him? I mean to trust Cole was always a completely different matter," Piper pointed out.
"He seemed a little bit shocked. I think he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. I mean nobody wants to be a stalker in his former life, not even Cole."
"Hopefully that didn't help his memories along." Piper said carefully.
"No, Piper, his memories are gone. You can tell him what you want, he won't remember anything. They promised me." Leo reassured his wife.
"Hopefully that's it. It's all over and done." Paige said. They looked at each other doubtfully. None of them could believe, that this problem was solved so easily. They already have had too much trouble with him.
One week later Kevin was standing in front of a nice old building. He looked at the sign with the name of the psychological practise. "Dr. Brenner" was written there. Why have I let myself in for being here, he wondered repeatedly. Groaning he entered the building and went into the medical practice.
The last days he couldn't stop thinking about it, that he was kept in suspense about his past. He couldn't imagine that he was really this Cole, but he had to know it for sure. He wasn't desperate to be this guy, but even when, Peter was right, there were always two sides of a story. Who could know, if it was the entire truth, Paige had told him. He finally wanted to know who he really was, regardless of the consequences. Therefore he was sitting in this waiting room now. Still unsure, if this could really help him.
When he entered the consulting room, a middle age woman, who had a calming effect on people, shook hand with him.
"Mister Torrens." she said calmly. "You already have told me on the phone, that you haven't met a doctor yet. That is unusual for patients with amnesia." She focused her attention on him.
"Yes, you know. I thought that wouldn't be necessary. My memories would come back by itself." he didn't tell her, that he was still doubting about the practical use of this mind doctors. Again he wondered why he let himself talked into doing this.
"But now you changed your mind." she ascertained.
"Yes, I'm not making any progress. Already more than a year had passed, and I still don't remember anything." Kevin told her annoyed.
"Okay, I already told you on the phone, that I attend my amnesia patients with hypnosis. Their memories are still there, but they are buried, so to speak." She said with a friendly smile. "Mostly it's hard to find the real release. Already before it, the coping with stress wasn't good enough. The next stress situation caused too much stress hormones and the memories are buried somewhere in the brain. Now it isn't possible for the patient to find them there anymore."
"But they are still there?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, memories don't disappear that easy. When I use hypnosis, I go back to these situations, where the patients haven't coped with stress. And finally I can find the real cause."
"But I even can't remember my childhood." Kevin considered.
"That's normal in this case. I think we should try it." she said resolutely. "Do you know how hypnosis works?"
"More or less." Kevin said and the doctor started to explain him the procedure of a hypnosis. Kevin listened and agreed to make a try. He laid down at the sofa and relaxed. He just heard the calm voice of the doctor. He felt comfortable and unwind. The doctor took him back to the past, but nothing happened, he couldn't tell anything. When he woke up again after some time, the doctor looked at him disappointed and surprised.
"I'm so sorry, but I couldn't take out any memory, not even in a hypnotic state. It seems as if they're eliminated!"
"But how is that possible? How come?"
"There could be many causes, but I never experienced it, as extreme as with you." The doctor shook her head. "I even tried to go back 100 years to your past, but you couldn't tell me anything."
"Why did you go back so far to the past?" Kevin asked irritated.
"You know, the fact that you didn't remember anything of your present life, even in a state of hypnosis, could indicate, that there were already some problems in your former life."
"In my former life?" Kevin looked at her incredulously. Did she really mean that? "Sorry, but I don't believe in things like that!"
"Yes, a lot of people think so." the doctor laughed. "But when I put them under hypnosis and they are able to speak Portuguese fluently, they change their minds."
Kevin wasn't in the mood to philosophize on his former life. He wanted to find out more about his present life, therefore he was here. "So you also can't help me?" he asked in reply.
"Well, we can work on it. After a while we'll find a solution. Ask for another appointment. Then we'll try once again to go back in your past. Or we'll try a counselling to find out why you are blocking your memories about your present life."
"Yes thanks, I'll think about it." he had already known it. Psychiatrists, they also couldn't help him. That was all just waste of time.
"Or you can try a group therapy. That could help a lot of people, too." she tried to persuade him.
"No, I think that is not my thing. I'm too independent to talk about my problems with other people." That's all he needed.
She laughed. "Yes, a lot of my patients think so. But just try it, probably it could help, nevertheless. I strongly advise you to do something. Don't take it very lightly, that will have consequences in your future."
"Surely, I won't do it. I have your address. So good bye!" Kevin said. He already knew, that he wouldn't come back. He knew it, his past was a black nothing, nobody could explore it. And perhaps it was a good idea not to do it. To solve hidden problems, why? He had his present life. It was time to think about his future. He should take care of his career, a new interesting report would come and he would forget everything as soon as possible. He left the building with this intention.
Paige orbed into an empty side street and went to the restaurant. She wanted to arrive early, because she had to think about the story she wanted to tell Cole. It was really strange, to imagine, that this young man was really Cole and he didn't remember anything about his former life, nothing about witches or demons. Paige shook her head, when she saw him coming into the restaurant. He saw her immediately and came to her with a friendly smile.
"Good evening sit down please." Paige told him.
Kevin sat down and watched her intently. She looked more relaxed and that was a good sign.
Paige while away the time with some small talk until they got their orders. Then she started to tell. "Of course you are wondering about my behaviour, aren't you?"
Kevin nodded.
"The whole story is really complicated. First I should tell you, that you really aren't Cole. You look like him, but he is dead, as I already told you. He died last spring, after you already turned up in Seattle."
"Okay" Kevin listened carefully.
"He was my ex brother-in-law and we had some problems with him, my sisters and me."
"Problems?"
"Yes, how can I describe it. My sister Phoebe separated from him and they got divorced. But he didn't want to accept it. He oppressed us and made life hell for us. He didn't want to believe that it was over. He blamed me and my other sister for the divorce and he thought that we would keep him away from his ex wife. It was a nightmare."
"And the police couldn't help."
"Police, you know, they don't have the possibility to do a lot in such cases."
"Yeah, that's true, but if he was violent." Kevin asked.
"It was subtler, he was clever, .." she looked at him. "sorry, but I don't want to talk about it. I simply want to forget it." she excused.
"Okay, I can understand that. But now he is dead, isn't he?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, for heaven's sake he is. I know that sounds heartless, but that's what I feel." she smiled at him excusing. "He had an accident and he is surely stone dead."
"You have seen it?"
"No. What makes you say that?" Paige asked alarmed.
"I thought, you mentioned it?" Kevin asked surprised.
"No, you got me wrong. It was a car accident and alcohol was involved, you know .."
"Oh, I see."
"Yes, it was really sad, but it was the best, for everybody." she stated firmly.
For him, too? Kevin didn't completely believe this story. A car accident at the right time and nobody was responsible. That's a good one. But if they were really oppressed than he couldn't accuse them, perhaps it was their only possibility. Paige gave him a long hard look and pulled him out of his thoughts.
"Now you can understand, why it was such a shock for me to meet somebody who looked like Cole."
"Surely."
"Okay and you can imagine that it would be awful for the rest of my family, too." Paige looked at him hypnotizing. "Especially for Phoebe, she is over it recently, and if you appeared, ..."
"She would be floored."
"Therefore please give us rest, my ex brother-in-law is dead and we don't want to remember him. I know the asking to leave San Francisco is too much, but don't come quite close to us."
"I understand your problem, but what can I do, I'm a journalist here and I have to work all around the city. And I even don't know whom I have to get out of the way."
"Leave that to us." she didn't want to argue with him.
But Kevin didn't give up that fast. "But it would be useful to know, where I shouldn't go." he told her innocently.
"I already told you, that it isn't necessary, as long as you don't want to spy on us." she said with a friendly smile, she would tell him her address under no circumstances .
"Why shouldn't I? When you are absolutely sure that it's not me." he asked once again
"Yes I'm sure. Didn't I tell you already ?"
They starred into their drinks in silence. Kevin didn't know, what he should think about it. He sincerely hoped that he wasn't this Cole, but she didn't convince him completely.
Meanwhile Paige hoped that she had persuaded him to stay away from them and that he would stop snooping around. She hoped this story would be a salutary shock for him. She smiled when she thought that she really hoped, that this story could deter Cole. But somehow she knew, that this could be possible. And who wanted to be a stalker? "I didn't want to spoil your evening, but I thought you have to know it." she finally explained.
"It's okay, thanks for your honesty." Kevin tried not to sound ironically, because he wasn't sure, that she was absolutely honest.
"Okay." there was nothing else to do for Paige and she searched for her purse.
"No, don't bother, I'll pay the bill." Kevin said.
"Thanks. Okay, I hope you'll have a nice time in San Francisco." She said and stood up.
"As long as I get out of your way." he replied ironically.
"Well, then." Paige wanted to go as fast as possible. She turned around and left the restaurant, while Kevin was still sitting at the table thoughtfully .
Outside the restaurant Peter was waiting in his car. He listened to the radio and watched the exit. He was bored. How could Kevin persuade him to do this. He could sit in his new apartment together with Helen, but no ... Finally the door opened. But it was only a young couple, that appeared. They strolled away hand in hand. No, hopefully Kevin will hurry up a little bit, he thought. He didn't want to wait for ages. Every bone in his body was already aching.
It seemed to Peter that he had really waited for ages, when the young woman opened the door finally. Peter expected that she was going to a parked car, but she passed by. Oh no she walked, he thought and jumped out of his car to follow her. Finally she walked around a dark corner and disappeared in an alley. He wondered, what she wanted in this ominous area, it was almost frightening. This could be very interesting, he thought. He tried hard to follow her, he didn't want to lose her under no circumstances. But when he turned into the side alley carefully, the woman was gone. Damn it, that couldn't be true, Kevin would kill him. Peter looked around. It was a dead end alley, it was impossible to disappear. But she did it. Peter walked along the street, he was at a loss.
How could she manage to vanish into thin air. Was he mistaken? Didn't she walk into this alley. He shook his head. He had been absolutely sure, but he must have been wrong. Perhaps it was his tiredness or whatever, it was a mystery to him. Sighing, he walked back to the restaurant.
When he arrived, Kevin was already standing in front of Peters car. He was still in thoughts.
"Hey, Kevin" Peter shouted and went to his car. "I'm so sorry, but I lost her, I don't know how that could happen to me." He excused.
"It's okay." Kevin muttered.
"Hey, what's going on? Is everything alright with you?" he asked surprised, normally Kevin would give him a hard time, if he lost the woman.
"Yeah, let's drive to your apartment, Peter. I'll tell you everything there."
"Okay!" Peter answered and went into his car.
When they arrived at Helen's and Peter's apartment, they went into the living room. When they finally sat down, Peter asked "So, what was going on? Don't keep us on tenterhooks any longer."
Kevin groaned and looked at his friends. He wasn't in the mood to talk about it. But then he asked "Tell me, do you think I could be such kind of guy, who could oppress or stalk women?"
"What made you think of it? Did she tell you that?" Peter asked dismayed.
"No, she told me again, that I'm not this guy. But this guy, who looked like me, was married to her sister and when she wanted a divorce, he flipped out and pursued her and her sisters."
"Oh!"
"Yes, oh. And I'm wondering the whole time, if I could do something like that." Kevin said thoughtfully. "I mean, do I look like that? Do I behave like that?"
"Why are you assuming, that you are this guy?"Helen asked.
"No idea! Actually I don't do it. But she desperately tried to convince me that it's not me. But if it is me, I would do that, too. I mean if I were in her position."
"I can't believe that you could do that. I even don't think that you have anything to do with that. And there are two sides of everything. Believe me, this guy would tell you a very different story." Peter told him convinced. "But there are such men, who don't want to accept that a woman wants to separate." Helen pointed out.
"Do you think that I belong to them?" Kevin asked angrily.
"I haven't said that. But I think you can't see just by looking. You don't know what somebody could do out of sheer desperation." But when she saw Kevins annoyed expression, she added. "It doesn't mean that I think you are that sort of man. But you have to admit, that your amnesia must have a cause."
"Yes, thanks. So, you are thinking that I was running around like a maniac only because my wife had separated from me. And sometimes she had enough of me and caused an accident?" Kevin asked furiously and added. "But unfortunately I didn't die, but turned up miles away in Seattle."
"That is rubbish, Kevin. She told you that it isn't you and so you aren't it, okay?. Don't rack your brains over this nonsense."
"You can talk, Peter."
"Why did she actually tell you about it?" Helen broached the subject again.
"Because she wanted me getting out of the ways of her family. But of course only because I look like this guy."
"Probably you only look like him, everybody has his double." Peter said.
"Well I could do without such a guy."
"It's easy, you simply don't deal with it anymore, forget this story. You have to concentrate on something else for a change." Peter decided.
"I don't know, if I can do that."
"Or you are going to a psychiatrist finally." Helen suggested.
"Helen, please not again. That's not my thing."
"But if you want to know more about your past, that will be your only way."Helen insisted on her suggestion.
"But do I want to know it?" Kevin asked doubtfully.
"I thought, that you wanted to know about it. You have always told that." She said surprised.
"Mm, yes." he said dissatisfied.
"I wouldn't think too much about this woman and her story. Perhaps it was only a fairy tale. Because she was really strange. Can you imagine, when she came out of the restaurant, she walked to a dark alley and probably she had vanished into thin air. It was a dead end street, therefore it was impossible to disappear, but she did it." Helen and Kevin watched him skeptically. "I mean it." he reinforced.
"He is only embarrassed, because he had lost her." Kevin entrusted Helen.
"And it's better to see women, who disappear into thin air." Helen agreed.
"But that it was." Peter said offended
"Yes, of course."
"Certainly."
When Paige arrived at home, luckily she found only Piper and Leo in the living room. "Everything is alright." she told them. "As far as it is possible."
"What has happened? What did you tell him" Piper asked curiously.
"I thought it would be a good idea to tell the truth, or better some kind of truth. Therefore I told him, that he looks like my ex brother-in-law, who started to tyrannize us after the divorce." Paige told them with a self-satisfied smile.
"And did that work?" Leo asked skeptically.
"Yes, he finally promised me to get out of our ways." Paige said with a shrug.
"Do you believe him? I mean to trust Cole was always a completely different matter," Piper pointed out.
"He seemed a little bit shocked. I think he doesn't want to deal with it anymore. I mean nobody wants to be a stalker in his former life, not even Cole."
"Hopefully that didn't help his memories along." Piper said carefully.
"No, Piper, his memories are gone. You can tell him what you want, he won't remember anything. They promised me." Leo reassured his wife.
"Hopefully that's it. It's all over and done." Paige said. They looked at each other doubtfully. None of them could believe, that this problem was solved so easily. They already have had too much trouble with him.
One week later Kevin was standing in front of a nice old building. He looked at the sign with the name of the psychological practise. "Dr. Brenner" was written there. Why have I let myself in for being here, he wondered repeatedly. Groaning he entered the building and went into the medical practice.
The last days he couldn't stop thinking about it, that he was kept in suspense about his past. He couldn't imagine that he was really this Cole, but he had to know it for sure. He wasn't desperate to be this guy, but even when, Peter was right, there were always two sides of a story. Who could know, if it was the entire truth, Paige had told him. He finally wanted to know who he really was, regardless of the consequences. Therefore he was sitting in this waiting room now. Still unsure, if this could really help him.
When he entered the consulting room, a middle age woman, who had a calming effect on people, shook hand with him.
"Mister Torrens." she said calmly. "You already have told me on the phone, that you haven't met a doctor yet. That is unusual for patients with amnesia." She focused her attention on him.
"Yes, you know. I thought that wouldn't be necessary. My memories would come back by itself." he didn't tell her, that he was still doubting about the practical use of this mind doctors. Again he wondered why he let himself talked into doing this.
"But now you changed your mind." she ascertained.
"Yes, I'm not making any progress. Already more than a year had passed, and I still don't remember anything." Kevin told her annoyed.
"Okay, I already told you on the phone, that I attend my amnesia patients with hypnosis. Their memories are still there, but they are buried, so to speak." She said with a friendly smile. "Mostly it's hard to find the real release. Already before it, the coping with stress wasn't good enough. The next stress situation caused too much stress hormones and the memories are buried somewhere in the brain. Now it isn't possible for the patient to find them there anymore."
"But they are still there?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, memories don't disappear that easy. When I use hypnosis, I go back to these situations, where the patients haven't coped with stress. And finally I can find the real cause."
"But I even can't remember my childhood." Kevin considered.
"That's normal in this case. I think we should try it." she said resolutely. "Do you know how hypnosis works?"
"More or less." Kevin said and the doctor started to explain him the procedure of a hypnosis. Kevin listened and agreed to make a try. He laid down at the sofa and relaxed. He just heard the calm voice of the doctor. He felt comfortable and unwind. The doctor took him back to the past, but nothing happened, he couldn't tell anything. When he woke up again after some time, the doctor looked at him disappointed and surprised.
"I'm so sorry, but I couldn't take out any memory, not even in a hypnotic state. It seems as if they're eliminated!"
"But how is that possible? How come?"
"There could be many causes, but I never experienced it, as extreme as with you." The doctor shook her head. "I even tried to go back 100 years to your past, but you couldn't tell me anything."
"Why did you go back so far to the past?" Kevin asked irritated.
"You know, the fact that you didn't remember anything of your present life, even in a state of hypnosis, could indicate, that there were already some problems in your former life."
"In my former life?" Kevin looked at her incredulously. Did she really mean that? "Sorry, but I don't believe in things like that!"
"Yes, a lot of people think so." the doctor laughed. "But when I put them under hypnosis and they are able to speak Portuguese fluently, they change their minds."
Kevin wasn't in the mood to philosophize on his former life. He wanted to find out more about his present life, therefore he was here. "So you also can't help me?" he asked in reply.
"Well, we can work on it. After a while we'll find a solution. Ask for another appointment. Then we'll try once again to go back in your past. Or we'll try a counselling to find out why you are blocking your memories about your present life."
"Yes thanks, I'll think about it." he had already known it. Psychiatrists, they also couldn't help him. That was all just waste of time.
"Or you can try a group therapy. That could help a lot of people, too." she tried to persuade him.
"No, I think that is not my thing. I'm too independent to talk about my problems with other people." That's all he needed.
She laughed. "Yes, a lot of my patients think so. But just try it, probably it could help, nevertheless. I strongly advise you to do something. Don't take it very lightly, that will have consequences in your future."
"Surely, I won't do it. I have your address. So good bye!" Kevin said. He already knew, that he wouldn't come back. He knew it, his past was a black nothing, nobody could explore it. And perhaps it was a good idea not to do it. To solve hidden problems, why? He had his present life. It was time to think about his future. He should take care of his career, a new interesting report would come and he would forget everything as soon as possible. He left the building with this intention.
