Chapter 3
Within the dreary grey walls of the Department of Children and Family Services, Rick hovered nervously, wringing his hands, his brow sweaty. Kate paced beside him, her footsteps eerily silent without her usual mammoth heels on. After waiting for what seemed like hours a sound could be heard, steadily growing louder as it came closer. Kate glanced at Rick, one eyebrow raised. It was definitely a child, sobs intermingling with screams. Rick's face paled as the door opposite them swung open and Ms. MacKinnon walked in with a child on her hip. It was Lilly, and she was almost unrecognizable. Her gorgeous curly hair was in massive knots, her clothes sagging off her small frame. Her face was streaked with tears, her lips trembling and her eyes wide as saucers.
"Hey Lilly." Moving closer, Rick smiled encouragingly and held out his arms. Ms. MacKinnon gratefully handed Lilly to Rick, who bounced her on his hip.
"Hey Lilly, you remember me, don't you, sweetheart?"
Lilly cried harder and louder, her face turning red, her clenched fists pushing against his chest. Rick's smile dropped and his heart sank. Kate moved closer to the pair, gingerly reaching out to smooth a hand across Lilly's cheek.
"Hey, baby girl. You remember Ricky, don't you?" She spoke softly, gently, like she would to a distraught relative of one of her murder victims.
Lilly's screams dropped an octave as she turned to face Kate, her watery eyes blinking rapidly. Sensing that she wasn't going to invoke the same reaction Rick had, Kate reached out and pulled Lilly into her own arms. Relief shot through her as the small girl's cries dissipated into sniffles and hiccups. Cradling the small head against her chest, she wrapped both arms around Lilly's body, holding her tight.
Ms. MacKinnon handed Rick a small backpack and a tattered blanket before saying her goodbyes. Rick turned bewildered eyes to Kate who continued rocking Lilly.
"We should get her home, Rick."
Nodding, still rather stunned, Rick placed one hand against the small of Kate's back as they exited the building.
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This was not how Rick had expected fatherhood a second time around to be. Ms. MacKinnon had said Lilly was upset…but the little girl now depending on him was more than upset, more than traumatized. She'd clung to Kate the entire trip back to the loft, continuously sobbing. Kate's distress was growing by the minute, he could clearly see, which in turn was upsetting Lilly even more. He needed to get both his girls to calm down. Entering the loft, Rick hung up his coat and helped Kate with hers, which was difficult with Lilly intricately wrapped around her. The loft was quiet, Alexis deciding to spend the night with Paige and Martha with her latest catch. Both had had the same thought, that Lilly's first night at the loft would be better with just Kate and Rick, at least until she was settled.
"Lilly, sweetheart, are you hungry? What would you like for dinner?"
Tilting the quivering chin towards him, Rick gently traced the heart shaped face covered in tears.
"Actually, I think she needs to be changed first." Kate, whose arms were starting to feel numb from holding Lilly for such a long stretch of time, shifted the girl's weight, trying to ease the pressure.
"Changed?" Rick's eyes fell to Kate's hand, which was supporting Lilly under her bottom, only just noticing the slight bulge. A diaper?
"She's potty trained though." He murmured, remembering the boasting letter he'd received from Lucy almost a year ago.
"She's still in shock, Rick. It's probably just a phase. I think giving her a bath and some clean clothes should be our first priority." Dipping her head to make eye contact with the little girl, Kate smiled gently.
"How about it, Lil? A nice warm bath with some big bubbles? And then you can put on a pair of beautiful pink pajamas Rick bought just for you. Does that sound good?"
Sniffling, Lilly buried her head in Kate's neck, but nodded shyly. Over the top of Lilly's head, Kate smiled softly at Rick. It was a small, tiny step, but a step nonetheless.
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Kneeling on the tiled bathroom floor, Kate placed Lilly on her feet, trying to unwrap the arms wound tightly around her neck.
"C'mon, Lil. You can't get in the bath if you don't let go." Tugging gently, Kate managed to free her neck from the vice grip. Lilly stayed blessedly silent, her crying jag over for now, her eyes wide and watching every movement Kate made. The bath was ready, white foamy bubbles resting on top of the water, a few toys floating aimlessly. Keeping eye contact with Lilly, as it seemed to keep the small girl appeased, Kate fumbled as she removed Lilly's large sweater and damp jeans. She threw them into towards a corner of the bathroom, in no way planning to keep them. Drawing her eyes downwards, Kate took in the Little Mermaid 'pull-up' diaper. Pulling it down Lilly's scrawny legs, she was relieved there wasn't anything gag worthy inside. Dead bodies and blood and gore she could deal with. Baby puke and poop was still new, and presents from little Emma when babysitting had tested her gag reflexes from time to time. Throwing the diaper in the waste basket, Kate turned her attention to the little body shivering in front of her. There was none of the chubby baby fat Kate remembered, instead hollow skin and protruding ribs. Sighing, Kate checked one last time that the water wasn't too hot before lifting and placing Lilly in the large tub. Picking up a handful of the foamy bubbles, she blew them at the small girl, relieved when she let out a small giggle.
"Alright, little Lil. Ricky is making dinner, so how 'bout we get you all clean and shiny and new?"
Lilly nodded, picking up some bubbles and mimicking Kate's action. Smiling, Kate grabbed the children's shampoo, her mind quickly focusing on the task ahead…untangling that mess of hair.
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Hoping that Lilly liked chicken nuggets, Rick finished loading her plate before wiping his hands on the tea towel thrown over his shoulder. Tossing that onto the counter, he made his way upstairs, surprised when he didn't see Kate or Lilly in the guest bathroom. He heard a slight noise and followed it, making his way back downstairs and into his bedroom. Kate was sitting on their bed, Lilly in her lap, carefully brushing out her wet long hair, a bottle of detangler resting by her knee.
"Hey. Did you have a good bath, Lilly?"
Rick moved to kneel by the edge of the bed, keeping his face level with Lilly's. She nodded shyly. She was dressed in her new pink pajamas, her face rosy red. She looked adorable.
"Are you hungry? I made chicken nuggets. They're my favourite."
Lilly shook her head 'no' and above her Kate bit her lip, having seen the too thin frame the girl was living out of. She couldn't afford to miss any meals.
"I'm really hungry, Lil, and chicken nuggets sound so yummy." Kate used a cheery tone, continuing to brush through the tangled hair. Lilly bobbed her head shyly.
"Ok."
It was the first non screamed word she had spoken, her voice timid and small. Rick smiled and tickled her feet.
"With ketchup as well?"
Lilly giggled loudly, nodding more vigorously as Rick continued to tickle her small feet. Kate placed the comb down as Rick asked Lilly what she would like for desert, then parted her hair, quickly braiding it into two long plaits.
"There we go, all done. Time for food?"
Lilly nodded, moving to stand on the bed and wrap her arms around Kate's neck. Kate gently pulled her arms away and turned the small girl to face Rick, who grinned happily.
"Why don't you let Ricky give you a piggy back?" Kate said, hoping that the last few minutes had encouraged Lilly to be more at ease with Rick.
Lilly shook her head no, her lower lip starting to tremble. Kate sighed, lifting her, and Lilly's favorite blanket, into her arms and moving from the bed. S0he glanced at Rick, distressed by the confused misery etched across his face.
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Kneeling next to the small body curled on the floor, Rick gently rubbed a hand across Lilly's back.
"You can sleep in our bed tonight, Lil, ok?" He whispered, hoping the suggestion would calm the little girl down slightly. She'd become occupied while eating her dinner, so Kate had taken the opportunity to have a quick shower. Lilly had been ok when she'd noticed Kate had gone, but when Rick had said it was time for bed she'd thrown herself to the floor, her fists thumping the ground.
Rick sighed in relief as Lilly nodded, her tears subsiding as she stuck one thumb in her mouth and cuddled her blanket tighter to her chest. He picked her up from her spot on the floor where she'd had her miniature tantrum and made his way towards his bedroom, silently relieved she didn't fight him. Kate came out of the bathroom as he walked into their room, her face scrubbed fresh of makeup and glowing, stripy blue shorts hanging low on her hips and a thin camisole hugging her toned torso. Rick bit the inside of his cheek, trying to suppress his ever present desire. She could be wearing a potato sack and he'd still think she was utterly gorgeous. Sighing, knowing they wouldn't be indulging in any grown up fun for a little while at least, he plopped Lilly in the centre of their bed, pulling the covers up to her chin and kissing her forehead before climbing in beside her.
"She wants to sleep with us." Rick mumbled, turning on his side away from Lilly, who watched with wide eyes as Kate moved to Rick's side of the bed, bending over and kissing him sweetly.
"It's her first night in a strange house, Rick, she's just scared. It'll get better." She whispered, hoping her words could convince him more than they did her.
He pouted before kissing her heatedly and she quickly pulled back before he got too carried away. Kate turned off the main light and joined them in the bed, her heart melting as Lilly snuggled closer to her, wrapping her small arms tightly around Kate's waist.
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Kate was startled awake by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. Quickly reaching to the bedside table, she found her phone and answered before the sound woke the other occupants still asleep.
"What?"
"Morning to you too, Beckett. Body dropped, need you to come in."
Groaning, Kate glared at the alarm clock that told her it was only 3.14a.m. Stifling a yawn, she rolled out of the bed carefully, grudgingly asking Ryan where the crime scene was as she made her way into the bathroom, then telling him she'd be there in 15. She came back out a few minutes later, dressed in dark blue jeans and white loose t-shirt, and sat on the edge of the bed as she pulled on her more comfy heels. Today was not the day for power heels.
"Katie?'
The small voice startled Kate, and she spun around, surprised to see Lilly awake and sitting up in the bed.
"Oh, sweetie. Go back to sleep." Moving, she leant over and gently pushed Lilly back against the soft pillows, placing a kiss on her small forehead.
"You go?" Her eyes wide, Lilly's lower lip trembled and Kate had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to end well.
"Yeah, I have to go to work for a little bit. But I'll be back, I promise."
Promise? Promise? Her inner voice immediately scolded her for making such a mistake. She was a cop; she should never make such promises, especially to a child.
"No." Lilly's voice cracked and tears began sliding down her cheeks. Hearing the distressed noises woke Rick, and he rolled over, taking in Kate's work clothes.
"Body?"
"Yeah."
Rick moved towards a crying Lilly and wrapped his arms around her.
"Don't worry, pumpkin. Katie will be back soon."
Glancing at her watch, already seeing she was running late, Kate leant across and gave Rick a quick kiss on the lips, then Lilly one on the head, murmuring a quiet goodbye as she left. As she moved towards the front door, grabbing her coat and handbag, she listened in anguish as Lilly's cries became louder and longer.
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Hours later, just as the sun was peeking through the clouds, Kate sat at her desk, wearily typing up a warrant for their lead suspect's work place. So far the case was looking promising, and if her gut was right and she could acquire the warrant, they'd have their suspect arrested and charged by midday. Sitting back in her chair, she rolled her shoulders, glancing at her boys across the bullpen. Aside from the three of them the precinct was still empty and silent. Ryan's head was drooping forwards sleepily, Esposito next to him watching intently at the video footage they'd been given. Kate didn't have the heart to yell and wake Ryan up, she knew Emma was teething at the moment and neither him nor Jenny were getting much sleep. Thankfully the boys hadn't pestered her with too many questions about Lilly, just a silent tilt of the head when she'd arrived at the crime scene, asking if Kate herself was ok. She'd nodded, smiling slightly and they'd quickly turned their attention to the body on the ground. When it came to her boys, words weren't always needed.
Sighing, Kate tilted her head backwards and closed her eyes, only to have them popping open a few minutes later as a newly familiar sound penetrated through her head. Was that? No, it couldn't be. But sure enough, the elevator dinged open and Rick appeared, more disheveled than she'd ever seen him, Lilly struggling in his arms, her earsplitting cries reverberating through the silent room.
Rick made his way to Kate quickly, his eyes begging her not to be mad. Kate glanced across at Ryan, sending him an apologetic look as it seemed the screaming had startled him awake. He shrugged, half focusing back on the video, half on the scene unfolding before him.
"Castle? What're you doin' here?" Before Kate could stand and drag him into the break room, Rick reached her and hastily placed Lilly in her lap. Blinking up through wet lashes, Lilly's crying settled immediately as she saw who was now holding her. Rick dropped his own body into his chair, his head falling to his chest.
"She hasn't stopped crying since you left. Which was hours ago. Nothing I did could make her stop, and I was getting worried she'd become dehydrated, so I figured I'd bring her here for a bit."
Kate pulled Lilly tightly against her chest with one hand, using the other to continue typing.
"She can't be solely dependent on me and she can't be here. It isn't safe."
"Trust me, I know, Kate, but I didn't know what else to do."
Looking into his tired eyes, lacking their usual spark, Kate knew he was sorry and at a loss about what to do.
"We'll just wait till she falls asleep, then you can take her back home, ok? If I can close this case then hopefully Montgomery will let me leave by lunch."
Rick nodded, stretched himself out in the chair and closed his eyes. Kate smiled briefly as his messy hair flopped across his forehead…he was just much too adorable sometimes…before turning her attention back to her computer, one hand stroking over the now sleepy girl in her arms. Glancing up, she shot a glare as she noticed her boys staring and they quickly turned their attention back to their own work. She looked down at Lilly again, chewing her lip as she hoped the small girl's sudden attachment to her was just a temporary thing. She was definitely not capable of having a small child attached to her hip every hour of every day.
TBC
