Yes I'm updating already! I'm trying to finish this before I get bogged down with more coursework!

Again thanks for the reviews. They makes me happy and are very appreciated. So glad you're enjoying it.

And thanks for the wishing me good luck Shadowtheo. I think I'll need it hehe!


Disclaimer: Noel Fielding's and Julian Barratt's of course. I swear something will happen in this chapter! Right after this of course...Even though it's the day but never mind!!


"Soa...Howard Moon has gone to see hisa new girlfriend...Well, I think that's what happened. You know...sometimes when you are the moon...I would like to have a girlfriend. But it' flipping hard to go on a date. No-one's ever tall enough to kiss you.

But sometimes...I think that's OK. Because when you are the moon, you can spy on everyone down bellow...

I'm the moon."


"She just seemed to eager is all I'm saying - you know what I mean? I bet she's a great big slut. Or a transvestite like that Eleanor...She's only known him five minutes and there she is, asking him out to lunch, It's not right."

"Uh huh"

"I bet something's wrong with her. I know! Maybe she's part Sea Bass. Yeah! And she'll be all - 'Come here Howwward...let me kiss you with my biiig sea bass lips!' Or I bet she's deformed with a third hand or something like that. Yeah, I bet that's it!"

"Sure"

"Naboo? Are you even listening to me? Naboolio?" Vince moved closer, "You've got your headphones on you vixen!" He cried, pulling them out. "I can't believe it! Bumping me off for Fleetwood Mac!"

"Vince. You've been rambling on for almost an hour now. It's getting kind of old." Sighed Naboo

"Like your taste in music. Yuck!" Fumed Vince.

"Don't go insulting the Mac Vince. They've got some powerful juju going on" He replied absent mindedly as he picked up some empty beer bottles. "Come on Vince. Stop moping and help me clean up."

"I am!"

"Flitting around with a duster in a red frilly apron with matching skinny jeans and a polka-dot bandana? Not helping. And neither is your ranting."

"Well you didn't listen to my plan of enchanting the brooms and dusters to clean by themselves! And don't give me that 'Against Shaman Oath' speech - I know you could do it if you wanted!"

"Yeah because it worked so well for Mickey Mouse" Said Naboo sarcastically, "You're driving me crazy! And a shaman's sanity is not hard to break!"

"Tell that to Mr-I'm-Gonna-Decapitate-You Head Shaman man" Muttered Vince (though I suppose he did give me an excuse to kiss Howard...)

"AAAAH!" Cried Vince in VERY understandable alarm at what he had found hidden beneath an empty packet of twiglets, "I knew it Naboo! I knew it! Look at that!"

"Oh no! You were right!" Agreed Naboo looking very worried about what Vince had discovered.

"We have to find Howard right now! And Bollo too, we'll need all his monkey strength!"

"Not necessarily. I have a plan. But it wouldn't hurt to have Bollo as a back up. Where is his monkey anus anyway?"


"Ah you hospitalised me you silly bitch!", Cried Bob Fossil

"Bollo not sorry. No-one gatecrashes Vince's party."

Fossil was sat at an odd angle on the little plastic chairs in the A E. Guess Bollo got him with that banana after all...


"Never mind about him! Naboo...It's Howard." There was such a desperate look of panic and worry in Vince's eyes that Naboo found he was genuinely moved. Touched by his friend's overwhelming love and concern for Howard that was summed up in one small word.

"Don't worry. I'm Naboo that's who. And I've got a plan."

Yeah that's not that reassuring coming from you Naboo. Remember how you handled the Spirit of Jazz??? That ended with some waaay dodgy penatration...

Only he didn't say that. He was far too worried to argue for once.


"Uh...Nina. This is a very nice lunch and all but...well...I'm not sure how to say this but...um...isn't the fish meant to be cooked?"

"No. It's sushi Howard."

"Well headless then?"

"It's Japanese Howard."

"At least gutless?!"

"It's my speciality Howard." She purred in her accent, smiling creepily. It was a smile that chilled Howard to the bone.

There was something too familiar about this situation. The odd little phrases she occasionally used were strangely familiar too ("You like this? You can keep it!"). He had only stayed so long because she'd looked so stunning - with her dark hair and moody eyes. She had charmed him with her knowledge of jazz and amusing anecdotes. He'd almost forgotten about Vince. But now...well, she was acting a little weird. The "sushi" fish was one thing that an easy going person could excuse...but was there really any need to paint funky lipstick smiles on them?! It was like her magical charms were wearing off on him.

Well done Howard. You sure can pick them! Get out of here now you fool! She's obviously a real whacko!

"I have to go Nina. I'm sorry."

"Why's that Howard?" She stood up, blocking his path to the door (and freedom! Freeedom!!!!). There was a crazy look in her eye that he did not like at all.

"Where y'going Howard? Don't you wanna little drinky?"

That one small question sparked a deep fear that had been suppressed within him for so long.

Oh no. No! No! No! It couldn't be! Howard panicked and closed his eyes tight in horror, hoping it was just a dream. Or severe deja-vous.

But he couldn't have been more wrong.

He opened his eyes.

He opened his eyes to reveal a neon nightmare in shades of seaweed green and lurid pinks. He let out an unmanly (but neccessary!) scream.

"Hi Howard. I'm Old Greeeeegg! Did you miss me?!"


"Muahahahahaa!!!!" (chokes!)

How's that for a Juicy Dangler? ;-)

Sorry it's a bit short - coursework time I'm afraid (and the fact I'm sharing a computer with my brother doesn't help). Please keep reading. Luv you all!