Hey there guys, just a regular author's note. Thank you all for reading, following and especially to those of you who reviewed. If you like this new chapter, you all know what to do. Enjoy :)

Father needed time, and that was more than understandable. On the other hand, I, I did not need any time at all. All I could think about is that it might already be too late for us to do anything.

If I were avenging my Father, I wouldn't waste my time on anything. That is exactly why I wonder if Robb Stark will even bother considering us. It is known across the realm that Renly is the friendlier brother. It would not matter to the Stark's if he's the rightful heir or not; if he can help them, they will join him.

Time is a luxury we do not have. Sadly, I cannot keep reminding Father of that; if I do, he will lose his patience, and Gods only know what he will decide then. If he is taking his time, I can only pray that he does not take too much of it. And again, the question comes up. Who do I even pray to anymore?

It has been a day since our talk, and I was desperately trying to occupy myself, to avoid thinking about the subject more than necessary. I did it all; I put Shireen to sleep every night, I read books, I even overseen the construction on the south wall of the castle. Sadly, I was not needed there anymore, and this morning, I realized that I had run out of things I can use to occupy myself while I wait for Father's decision.

If I read any more, my head will go in wildfire flames. Ever since I learned how to read, I spent half the day with a book in my hands. The fact that I cannot do now was very unsettling to me, but I am low on patience, too low to even question it.

Shireen is in her lessons, so I cannot use her as a temporary distraction. The only other person whose company I would even remotely enjoy is Davos.

I got dressed quickly, knowing that I was not going to find him in the castle. With my furs wrapped around me, I made my way through the castle, using every possible shortcut I could think of.

Before I knew it, I was out in the wind, making my way towards the beach.

It is true what they say; the long summer is over. Dragonstone was never particularly warm, but the weather is colder now than I can remember. I was not born in the long summer, but I do not remember what it was like before; I was too young. As someone who is not that prone to complaining, this was yet another change I had to get used to. At least I will keep this to myself.

I was positive that I was going to find Davos at the docks. It never even crossed my mind that he might be speaking with Father, not until I was already at the docks, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I nodded to people who greeted me, but I was in a rush, again. No wonder people say that I can be as cold as my Father. I am friendlier than he ever was, but I have my moments, and I am having one today.

All over the realm, they say I am pretty, but not pretty enough. I'm friendly, but not friendly enough. I am my Father's daughter, too much for my own good. If I were one of those simple minded ladies, whose only concern is what people are saying, I would be troubled by it. I am nowhere near a simple minded lady, and I do not give a damn about what people say. They can talk about me as much as they like; the ones that need to know who I truly am, they know it. For others, I truly do not care.

My quest to find Davos continued; if he is not here, he might be somewhere along the beach. I'll keep my distance from the water, and I'll walk around the whole island if I must.

Every day, every day for years, I stare at the castle we live in, and it never ceases to amaze me. I am too young; I did not get a chance to see much. It was incomparable to the one other true castle I'd seen, the Red Keep, but the two could not have been more different. Dragonston is the home of true kings, now and before, when the Targearyans were the most respected House in the realm. Red Keep is the home of imposters and liars. Dragonstone was build to protect, to offer a roof over our heads and to intimidate from afar, and the Red Keep was colorful, noticeable, made for admiration, not intimidation.

I look at something, for instance, the castle before me, and I wonder, how? How did they do that? With the tide, and the soil, sand, rocks all around, I never would have imagined a castle sitting in the middle of it all, on a tall cliff, with nothing between it and the blue monster that is the sea that surrounds us.

The gargoyles were as intimidating as ever; I never liked them when I was a child, which cannot be said for Shireen. She sees the beauty of them, and I simply see a hideous beast made out of stone. Why gargoyles? Why not dragons? It would have made more sense. Nothing is more useless than trying to understand something that has been done in the past, questioning something or someone.

On the other side of the walls, they are dragons everywhere. Every room, at least every room I have ever entered, has a statue of a dragon, or a dragon carved into the stone, like the wall in my chambers. Every little part of the castle was a reminder that this is not our true home. Dragonstone does not belong to us, nor will it ever.

"Princess!" Someone yelled, and it took me a moment to realize that someone was calling me. When I turned around, I could see someone running to catch up with me. As soon as he was closer, I could see that it was Matthos. I smiled at him, and rolled my eyes as well.

"You and that father of yours. I have told you both, countless times, call me by my name. Call me by the name my parents gave me, not by some stupid title." I said. Matthos was going to be an even bigger challenge. He never sees me as someone who is the same as him. Never. He is just barely older than I am, we are both young, and in my eyes, we truly are the same. But not in his. He never seems to forget that he is only a knight's son, and I am a King's daughter.

"That would be disrespectful." He said. Even now, after all these years, I am still uncertain on whether or not he sees me as a friend, or as a lady daughter of the man he serves.

"And I say, I find this more disrespectful than anything." I said." Call me by my name, or I will play the part of a princess, and have your head on a spike." I said, and to my relief, he laughed at that.

"We both know you never would be able to do that to my father, Sophia." He said.

"There we go, Sophia." I said, happy that he chose to do it my way." And you are correct. I could never do that to your lord Father. Davos is family, and so are you." I said, giving him a kind smile.

My emotions started changing once again, faster than I could ever imagine. The uncertainty of what Matthos means to me was cornering me, and it was difficult for me to act normal. And I never was the one that was easily affected.

There is something about him; something I could never name, something I could never identify. He is not overly attractive, nor is he known for his looks. A simple man passed his twentieth name day. He has that strength in him, the energy that simply draws me to him. Matthos Seaworh is an average man, but he was more than average to me.

Still, I knew very well it could never be anything more than an infatuation. Even if I were ready to risk everything, he never would have done the same. Besides, it all changed when my father stood up and called himself the one true King.

"Mind if I join you?" Matthos asked, and I laughed.

"As long as I am Sophia, and not Princess, not at all." I said. He smiled at me, and we continued walking." I am looking for your father actually. Do you happen to know where he is?"I asked.

"The King called him." Matthos said. How did I not think of that as soon as I decided that I was in need of Davos's company?" There are some urgent matters they needed to discuss." Matthos added. Hopefully, they are currently, at this very moment, discussing about a possible alliance with the North.

"Hm." I hummed. That was all I could say. Talking to Matthos and confiding in him was a double edged sword these days. I cannot know for certain that what I say to him will remain between the two of us. His infatuation with Melisandre was obvious. I cannot tell if what I feel about that is worry, or plain jealousy. Perhaps it was the two combined." Hopefully, we will hear some good news." I said, deciding that that was safe to say. If he decides to question me, I will play the Princess act, since he seems to stick to it as well.

"Do you still believe an alliance is needed?" he asked. Well, at least he asked me straight up.

"I know it is needed." I said. To me, that was the end of discussion. He does not need to know my reasons, and I am not going to tell them." As always, it is his decision ultimately. All I know is that your father shares my opinion, and for now, that is enough."

If he chooses not to listen to me, perhaps he will listen to his most trusted advisor.

"When your Father wins what he deserves, you will end up being a Queen someday." He said. With that, he just reminded me of the subject I was adamant in avoiding.

"If he wins." I corrected him. The fact that we all follow my Father blindly does not make it certain that we will follow him into victory. We could just as easily follow him to defeat." And if he does, that does not make it certain that I will be Queen." I said.

My mother cannot bear any children, not anymore. She had two daughters, and seven stillborn sons. We all lost count of the miscarriages. And Father does not believe in marrying another. While he might not love my mother, he would never dishonor her in such a way.

Even if he will have no more heirs, that does not make me Queen in the future. I might die before ever having a chance to put a crown on my head. I would prefer that in a slightly different situation. But in this situation, that would put Shireen in the place of a Queen, and I want that even less for her than I want it for me.

"It will probably happen, Sophia." Matthos said. No matter what I say, I cannot shut him up." You grew up. Soon enough, you will be married, with children of your own." He said.

"Matthos, please. You know I do not want that." I said.

"You do not want a family of your own?" He asked.

"Yes, I do. But with someone of my own choosing. Not someone I marry simply because someone tells me to do that. And we both know that will happen." I said. My heart aches, but there is nothing I can do." I will do as I am told, I will marry whoever I have to, but that does not mean my heart wishes to do that as well."

I have said too much, I could tell that by the look in his eyes. He knows it. I can see it now. He knows it. Perhaps, he feels the same way as well, but that does not change a thing.

I will marry someone my father chooses for me. It will probably be someone twice my age, someone from a good house, with money and men, and a thirst for ruling. That is the way it is supposed to be.

Ever since I was old enough to realize the way this Kingdom works, I knew that was going to happen. If Renly has no children, Shireen and I are the last of the Baratheons. And both of us will marry into another house, change our names and become someone else. Unless I become Queen. My name might change, but I will still be known as a Baratheon.

For years, I have been preparing myself for this. It is expected of me to marry someone that makes a good match, and not someone my heart chose. I could feel love for Matthos as much as I'd like, but I know I will never be his. Not by name, not in his arms.

Father should have married me off already. Most girls my age are already on their second child, and I am still a maiden, waiting for that match. Even though I am known all over Westeros as cold hearted, there were offers. And for reasons unknown to me, Father rejected them all. I never questioned, as his decision was more than fine by me. He will not give me a choice, not because he doesn't want to, but because we need to use me, my future marriage, as something that could benefit us.

If I marry Matthos, it would not help us in any way. If I marry some rich lord, it might be our rescue.

"Sophia." He said, and all I could think of was how I am frightened of what I will hear next from him." It can never happen."

Of course, he knows. He probably knew all along, even before I did. Was I truly that transparent?

"I am aware of that, thank you." I said. I did not try and hide the fact that I was embarrassed. I could not look him in the eyes, and I'm positive my cheeks look as red as they feel. The silence between us was almost unbearable.

"If it were up to me, it would have been different." He said, and this time, he caught me by surprise. I was not the only one who felt something. When I looked at him, he looked almost as if he was saddened by the fact that we could never be more than we are now." I wish I was born as someone other than a smuggler's son." He said. Before I was aware of my own moments, I grabbed him by the hand.

"Do not ever say that."I said, and even to myself, I sounded frightening. One thing had always bothered me about Matthos, ever since I was old enough to understand. He was ashamed of his father's past. While I know that Davos is not exactly proud of it himself, it hurt me deeply to know he was ashamed of the man his father used to be. He was a smuggler, and that was wrong, but I am positive he was a good person, just like he is now. And Davos truly is one of a kind.

"It does not matter." He said, letting go of my hand." It will never change."

I am angry. I am angry at him, for not fighting for me, for giving up as easily as he just did. I am angry at all of the Gods, Old, New, R'hllor, each and every one of them. I am angry at myself, for not vocalizing my feelings before. I am angry at Father, for not letting me have a choice. And more than anything, I am angry at whoever decided I was to be born a Lady, Princess, perhaps even a Queen, and not a simple girl that I truly am. Underneath it all, I am as same as everybody else. Yet, I am reminded, every day, that I cannot be just as same as anyone else.

"Matthos, if I asked you to do something, would you do it?" I asked him.

"Of course I would." He said.

"Kiss me." I said. We were alone, and I am positive that no one could see us. Even if they could, it does not change a damned thing for me. I wanted him to do it.

"Sophia, please." He said, after the initial shock and uncertainty on whether or not he heard me well.

"Matthos, I am serious. If you do not want to, I understand, I respect that, and in that case, I do not expect you to do it. But if that is the truth, than look me in the eyes, and tell me that you do not want to do it. Tell me that I am the only one who has felt something, and has been feeling something for all these years. If that is the case, than tell me." I said. This time, I was not going to give up that easy. He kept staring blankly at me, but he could not say it to me. He couldn't say a single word." One day, perhaps sooner than I would like, I will marry someone. Someone I do not know, let alone someone I love. And we… we know it is not possible. No matter how much we would want it, you will never hold me in your arms; I will never carry your children, or your name. The man that marries me, he will have it all. I will not let him have this. I will be damned if I let someone else kiss me, and not the one my heart picked out years ago." I said. When I want to, I can be convincing. And I truly want this. I will never be his, not in any shape of form, but we can have this. No one other than us will know, no one could tell.

I was starting to wonder whether I was convincing at all when it happened.

He pulled me closer to him, his hands on my back and he pressed his lips on mine.

I have never kissed a man before, not like this. All I knew was what I saw with my own two eyes, but all of that had fallen into water.

My lips were moving on their own accord, I was moving at my own accord. I did not think about it at all, I just did what I wanted to do. It felt right, and that is all that matters to me.

It took him a while to pull away from me, and once he did, all I wanted was for it to occur again. I did not want him to let me go, not now, not ever. But he had to.

"We have only made things more difficult than they were." He said, but I shook my head.

"No, we did not. Even if we did, I needed this. I could not live not knowing the truth. This is all I can take." I said. I understand what he means; it feels even worse than it did before. But if he had not kissed me, I would have wondered, probably for the rest of my life. I will have plenty of regrets I will need to live with, but I will not live with this one. I will never, never regret this. Even if I grow to love the man I marry, I will always know that my first kiss, that the first taste of my lips, belongs to someone I chose, and someone who truly deserves it.