Chapter 4 : Before it gets better
Shepard proposes "do you want to see this memory ?"
"Yes, please."
This last word gives Shepard shivers of pleasure. She focuses on her memory, and they resume their meld.
Shepard wakes up and breathes inside the cavern on Noveria. Her helmet is on the ground by her side. She feels cold melting snow trickling inside her collar and deeper inside her armor. She curls her toes and fingers : they survived the cold. Her remaining friends are there, pretty beaten up but alive. She checks on them.
She rises and starts to explore. Walking feels difficult, but she'll manage. Warmth seems to be coming from deeper inside the cavern. Warmth is life on Noveria. She tells her friends to follow, and she goes.
She reaches deeper inside the widening cavern, recognizes an autonomous eezo core heater, able to work on its own for months, and stands directly in front of it. This feels wonderful. She calls her friends, then removes the top of her armor to let it dry. As she turns around to heat her back side, she notices something in the center of the cavern.
Liara identifies it immediately. A Prothean Beacon !
A seam of green light snakes along its sides. Its controls seem unharmed. It looks like new.
"A fully intact Prothean beacon ?" Liara squeaks.
Inside the memory, Shepard lays her hand on the control panel. Cerberus staff had done their job. Her brain correlates with the Beacon. She lives.
The Soul Shard of Naril, First General of the Second Prothean Army, embeds itself into Shepard's own soul in a flash.
They witness his Prothean shape rise, thirsty for blood and roaring for vengeance, as he readies to lead the endless armies of the current cycle in the fierce battle against the new wave of Reaper extermination.
In front of Naril, stands Liara T'Soni, not yet Ph.D., overprotected virgin, killcount in the low twos or threes (only in self-defense), wannabe asari mistress, who originally came here for a back rub.
Naril's laugh is of the kind which crumbles mountains.
Until he understands his Soul Shard incarnated into the body of a human slave, Shepard, who is actually giving Liara a back rub.
Liara looks at Him in wonder and squeaks, blushing purple - "Are you p-p-p-prothean ?"
Naril is relieved. A teenage human form will suffice. This cycle is doomed anyway. He still does what he came here for, that is, warn them of the impending Reaper Harvest.
He shows them how it looked like in his cycle.
.
Shepard and Liara stand on a rocky ledge. In front of them lays a vast, proud Prothean city, its towers defying the skies.
Then they come. Enormous black starships with tentacles and pustular glowing eyes fall from orbit. Ground defense cannons fill the sky with beams of light, fighter aircraft swarm them, troops launch missiles at them, to no effect. They are unscathed.
They watch the entire city being ground into dust by red particle beams, its inhabitants exterminated. They fight to the death, and lose.
As a parting thought, Naril tells them "The Reapers are coming for you. Back-rubbing won't stop them."
Then, as Naril bursts into a spiteful laugh, the meld breaks in a violent spasm, Shepard's head is thrown backwards against the couch, and Liara headbutts the coffee table, falling unconscious.
.
Liara wakes up, takes a deep breath, and darts a few panicked looks around.
She is in the jacuzzi. Shepard is in front of her, her head reclined, relaxing, one foot against her butt so she doesn't slip and drown. The water is pleasantly warm and smells of … something that smells good.
Well, all the bath oils have labels written in asari, at least she didn't pour the bleach in. Good.
Then Liara has a quick mental dialogue with herself. She got used to do that when working alone in digs.
But... I'm naked ! (you're in a jacuzzi, idiot)
Who took my clothes off ? (who do you think did, look who is naked in front of you)
But she saw EVERYTHING ! (obviously, idiot ! you can look at her also, like, right now, turns you on by the way)
But why didn't she call a doctor or something ? (a bruise on your forehead versus her walk on Noveria ?)
Liara sinks a little in the water, and starts to pout. She sinks a little more, and makes bubbles.
She feels her dreamed Mistressdom somehow escaping her.
I'm still a virgin, dammit ! I should have gotten a Ph.D in sex or something.
And Shepard has a Prothean inside ! Fascinating ! Although this Naril seems to think I'm an worm.
Liara blinks... mumbles a little, which attracts Shepard's attention, who looks at her and smiles.
Liara simply asks "Why the jacuzzi ? I didn't ask..."
Shepard simply replies "You said please."
.
Liara was stuck.
She had let her Mistress role slip. Then somehow, something had happened in the Jacuzzi.
The Soul Shard of Naril, owner of the largest asari slave harem of the Prothean Empire, had embedded itself into Shepard. Liara didn't know it, but Naril was quite the kinky Prothean. He had studied, and practiced, at length, everything that could be done to asari. This was, of course, not out of concern for his slaves, as he was quite an asshole. Simply, he fancied seeing them fight each other to the death for the privilege of a night with him, and this needed some motivation.
Innocent, young, pure, virginal Shepard, now knew all her spots, even those she didn't know about herself.
And once Shepard had found the weak spot and punched through, she didn't stop. She poured through.
She felt something reaching towards her underwater, and touching her. All her efforts were doomed.
She was about to become the first asari sex slave to a human on Thessia.
.
Shepard was still in the Jacuzzi, holding a very passed-out Liara in her arms.
Feverishly thinking about how to get out of here alive.
She was starting to see hope and she wasn't going to let go of it.
That beacon... when she had touched it in that cave, it made no sense to her, all she saw was blur. Only when melding with Liara did she understand everything. Somehow, her asari brain had sorted things out. And those Reapers...
Damn ! Of course. Naril's probably not really a "soul", most likely he's just partial memories of this guy and his personality, which this beacon uploaded in my brain. Liara dug the memories out, and now... I can see them. So I don't really have an imaginary friend... although... I like imagining him like that. He looks really badass.
Her musing was interrupted by Liara showing signs of regaining consciousness. Shepard did that little trick she got from Naril which shot her back into la-la-land.
The Protheans were strong, impressive, macho, merciless imperialistic assholes.
The Asari were slender, feminine, gentle, merciless imperialistic assholes.
She wondered why she liked... well, loved.. Liara. It would be great if she could stop being an asshole.
Damn, why do I love her so much. Either this is destiny, or I'm going insane.
Shepard had to prop her half-conscious mistress to the bed in the end. She was so far gone that she was making bubbles with her mouth.
And both were still virgins. Probably.
Damn. She stayed with Liara. If she kills me after that, I'd rather spend my last few hours hugging her.
Did I really think that ?
.
As the sun caresses her skin, Liara slowly opens her eyes. She feels so... rested and relaxed... ready for a bright new day with her lovely little human toy... what would she teach her today ?... She had such great sexy plans for her birthday...
Wait. The sun is setting. This is not morning. She remembers the Jacuzzi, and her cheeks go dark blue, then violet.
Then, she notices the hand resting on her breast, and spasms.
"OWW That was my EYE !", Shepard yelps, waking up in pain, after Liara stabbed her unwillingly with one of her hair tentacles. Never spoon an asari...
Liara turns around and looks at Shepard, in pain, hand pressed against her eye. Liara doesn't know what to say, and then, a miracle happens.
"Oh... I'm so sorry, Shepard".
Shepard stares at her, speechless.
"Shepard... What ?"
"Liara, you are probably the first asari to say both 'please' and 'I'm sorry' to any human. Are you really an asari ?"
Liara doesn't know what to respond. She doesn't even notice Shepard called her by her first name.
Shepard grabs her and hugs her very tight. She realizes ... Still naked. Way to go, Mistress.
Did Naril help with the speech... or was this her Shepard-ness ?.. she didn't know. Shepard says it all with tears in her voice.
"My whole life was shit because of the war with the asari. We were fine before you came conquer us.
They beat me to a pulp on the Geneva just because I was there and not blue.
I will never hear about my friends anymore. They could be whores, or dead.
You know I wanted to kill you in your sleep and escape, but I can't.
It would be so much easier if you were mean like the others... but you are not.
I... I want to stay. I love you."
Shepard sobs on Liara's chest. She can't help but start lecturing : "You know I am legally entitled to get rid of you for telling me that".
Shepard replies "I know.", while hugging her tighter.
"If you kill me and escape, you will be caught... and... euthanized..."
"I have lost everyone. And those... Reapers are coming."
They stay like this for a while, mostly because Shepard is clenched too tight for Liara to move. Then, not knowing what to do, Liara caresses Shepard's hair. This seems to soothe her, until she stops sobbing.
Liara needs to find a way. She really wants her loyal human servant... of course there are ways, drugs, conditioning, to break an unwilling slave but... she would rather not.
She attempts melding, but Shepard fights it with all her will. A more mature, trained, less gentle asari would punch through, but Liara is young, inexperienced, and this is the first time Shepard really resists.
She's back on Noveria, alone, in the biting blizzard. She has been walking for what feels like days, slowly, bent forward pushing the wind, trying to find her way, but she is lost. Her feet are frozen. She knows she won't make it. Then she stumbles on something, falls to the ground... and realizes it is the frozen body of her childhood friend. The sadness and the cold suck out the last of her strength and she dies.
Liara snaps out of it, shivering, feeling like she was about to drown. Shepard lets go of the hug and moves to look at her in the eyes. She keeps her hand on Liara's shoulder, comforting her. While Liara is still panting from her vision, Shepard seems strangely calm.
Soon-to-be Dr T'Soni is not going to be out-done by this young girl ! She attempts melding again. Shepard resists her again.
She is on a battlefield on an unknown world. The smell of death and burnt flesh is overwhelming. Harbinger is in front of her, slowly turning towards her. It notices her, then opens fire. She sees the beam scorch the earth, vaporize one of her teammates right in front of her and move towards her in slow motion. It is too late to dodge. Her flesh screams as she dies.
Liara breaks out and screams. She's panting, again, panic on her face. Shepard hugs her softly, and sobs : "I will do everything for you if you ask..." then, her voice gains confidence, and she tells "But I will not be your slave. You will have to kill me."
Liara feels humiliated... but there is something in Shepard's voice, her attitude that seems completely out of place for a human teenager she owns. It feels like she would follow Shepard anywhere, even on a suicide mission, or to the end of the world.
A blink, and Shepard again looks like a normal human teenager, in love, and... expecting something.
Ah, fine.
Liara attempts melding another time, but instead of forcing herself into Shepard's mind, she comes in softly. Her mind gently touches Shepard's, and makes a light, inquisitive push, asking "may I come in ?"
This time there is no death, no horror, just Shepard willingly opening her soul, and showing much more of herself than when Liara was... intruding. She feels welcome, embraced. How much Shepard admires her, respects her, and … loves her. This feels so good. Shepard keeps the other bits she must not see carefully hidden under her mental rug.
As Liara tries to give back a little of herself in return, she finally understands what this is all about. Shepard doesn't care about the paperwork or the legal status. All she cares about is how Liara sees her. She just wants Liara to love her as a person, not a pet. A little bit of freedom wouldn't hurt, though. Simple as that.
But... she's a human !
Naril's voice whispers from the depths of Shepard's soul : "Asari. Shepard is worth more than you, and you are too arrogant to see it. In my cycle, we bred your primitive kind as whores."
Liara is humiliated, again. By a Prothean. Way to go, Prothean expert !
Shepard, though, thinks this is extremely funny considering the situation, and as her mood pours through the meld, Liara laugh at herself too. Another extremely unusual thing for an asari.
They stay like that for a while, enjoying each other's minds. Shepard feels Liara is slowly... accepting. Liara feels Shepard's joy at this thought.
She focuses on her love, shares it with Liara, and kisses her without asking for permission. She struggles, but only a little... then she is overcome, not really by the strange and wet sensation on her tongue, but by the feelings that come out of Shepard.
All these years bookworming, and she had no idea what love really was. She is blown away.
As they slowly part, looking at each other in the eyes like lovers, Shepard is so happy that her mind slips. For just a second, she stops hiding her bad memories. Liara notices it. It is too late. It all comes out and rushes through them.
Liara feels everything she has done to Shepard during her time as a slave, from Shepard's point of view, how monstrously wrong it was. She sees herself asleep, through Shepard's eyes, a knife in her trembling hands. She understands that Shepard loves her not because of her misguided brainwashing attempts and insulting attitude, but in spite of them. Not because she is this superior creature that Shepard should worship, but in spite of it.
All her thoughts converge to the memory of Shepard naked in front of the bathroom mirror, and finally she knows that Shepard understands her, and, against all odds, Shepard forgives her.
Then Liara remembers Shepard's crazy talk to herself. She knows everything.
Some of Naril's memories are pulled by association. What he did to his asari whore slaves, and how he considered them. He was exactly the same as the asari were now.
Liara feels like she's been spaced out of an airlock. She's going to be sick. She rushes to the bathroom.
.
Liara sits at the kitchen table, then slumps on it, founders and sobs, while Shepard holds her shoulders.
Shepard moves, grabs something from the fridge, fires up the wok and starts cooking a stir-fry with the ingredients she had prepared earlier.
As Liara watches her, she realizes Shepard is humming as she adds spices according to her mood, smiling, shaking the wok, careful not to overcook, and thoroughly enjoying herself cooking for her. Liara had sent her on to cooking lessons, and a few months afterwards, Shepard had taken over the kitchen, but Liara had never really witnessed the magic happen. It smells delicious. She's very hungry.
After adding in the meat and a bit of spicy oil, Shepard mentions "That will make you feel better".
How can she be like that after all I have done to her ? Goddess.
She doesn't know how simple the answer is : Shepard is back in her slave routine, sincerely happy to cook for her mistress and please her, like every day.
She is proud of Shepard. She admires and respects her. She might even begin to fall in love. And she has seen Shepard's love for her firsthand. All feelings totally inappropriate considering their relationship.
Her forehead rests on the table. She asks in a weak voice "How could you take it ?"
"For you... and... I hoped for this moment."
Liara sobs "Alright... you have a day off... do whatever you want. I'm not cruel enough to keep doing this to you."
Shepard comes towards her, carrying two plates, sits down in front of her, and replies "Are you available for dinner?"
.
Their conversation over dinner was heated, diverse, and surrealistic. It was the first time Shepard was free to talk, but the most important was that it was the first time Liara was actually ready to listen.
Shepard felt an odd feeling, like meeting someone very dear she had missed for years. It was hope. Not the raw, primal hope of just making it out alive, but something very different. The hope of beating impossible odds and winning everything that mattered.
Shepard had rehearsed this conversation in her mind, every day, during every minute of her free time. She was not improvising. She was cheating.
She summed it up over desert. "We're aliens making first contact and I'm hoping it is not going to end in war".
Then she played Liara's strengths against her. She told her she was the smartest person she had ever met (which was true). She convinced her to study her own culture from her archaeologist point of view, like she did the Protheans. They had not turned out to be like she had idealized them... with their asari slaves and all. What if the asari themselves were not so perfect after all ?
Shepard planted the seed of doubt inside her mind.
When she had done all she could, they switched to other topics. It was time to start getting to know each other, after one year of living together. At some point, a bottle appeared on the table, then later Liara asked about what exactly had happened inside the Jacuzzi.
.
Next morning.
Shepard opens her eyes. Her body hurts... she tries to move and feels a bit of pain in her joints.
What time is it ? What day is it ?
Liara is there, asleep, in her arms, and she is sucking her own finger. So cute !
Shit. Must. Not. Laugh.
Shepard tries not to move at all as she basks in bliss. Maybe she's going to survive after all. She looks around.
Damn, what happened in this room ?
Then she vividly remembers Liara begging for more. Literally, she said "More. I beg you".
Way to go, asari mistress ! Must not laugh. Well, I also begged for more.
Maybe I overdid it ? Who cares, what's done is done.
Liara wakes up, slowly turns towards her. Shepard panics.
"Goddess. So that's how it feels. I'm sorry, Shepard"
"Sorry for... you mean you are going to kill me ?"
Liara chuckles. Now, she understands the difference. A slave will do anything she wants, but Shepard will give her more than she could imagine. Stupid me.
"Shepard, let's have breakfast. I'm starving. Then cancel my appointment, then... if you're available, we will... I would really like to... go over some of those things we did last night."
Shepard's prothean imaginary friend smirks.
It seems I misjudged them.
This human is surprisingly good at manipulation, not to mention topping from the bottom.
This asari is just gullible enough to think she's still in control...
All is not lost for this cycle.
Shepard remembers Ilos. The VI that knows everything she needs. She has to talk to Liara about this.
