AN 1: The full title is 'Wedding Planning and Damn This Got Gay.'

AN 2: And here is chapter 4! :D I had so much fun writing this, and in case you can't guess from the chapter title, this is, in fact, one of the gayest chapters so far. You will see why soon enough. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.


The first couple of days weren't bad. They really weren't. At least, that was what Xena kept telling herself, over and over and over again.

The fact of the matter was that, at any given time, she was moments away from pulling out her sword and going on a rampage, ending the town she had sworn to protect. And she doubted anyone sane would have been able to blame her, if they heard the whole story.

There was always someone important to talk to (someone who, inevitably, brought up her past in great detail, reminding her of just how much further she had to go on this path to redemption). It didn't matter where she was- in the stables with Argo, in the kitchen with her mother, even in the tavern baths, people found her. Used as she was to the near silence- except for Gabrielle's almost constant chatter, but that had become part of the silence, in a way- the sheer number of them grated on her nerves.

And she had to be nice. She couldn't ignore anyone, couldn't tell them off, had to sit there and smile prettily while they tried to talk her to death. Gabrielle had specifically asked her to do so, and even on a normal day, when they were nothing more than friends, Xena did her best to avoid upsetting the bard. Pretending to be a couple, it was clear she was whipped.

Though, the praise Gabrielle's old school teacher had heaped upon the younger woman for finding 'such a well-mannered woman to marry' had caused a smile Xena would give one of her good chewing teeth to see again. So she was polite and interested in the conversations, all the while silently begging for a stupid warlord to show up so she could have some fun.

But it wasn't even the people who were driving her almost as mad as the furies. It was the fact that, despite the amount of planning Cyrene, Hecuba, and Lila had done over the last month and a half, there still always seemed more to do.

She had gotten up early the morning after their arrival in Amphipolis, a game plan firmly in mind. She was going to take Argo for a good ride into the fields around town, clear her head, and get back before Gabrielle woke up. Once she had taken care of the mare, she was going to get breakfast for herself and the bard, lock them both their room, and spend the day both resting and getting their story straight. Xena had been sure people would start asking questions about their relationship- how they first got together, how Xena proposed, things like that- and if they were constantly contradicting each other, they were going to blow their cover.

That was not what happened. Somehow, even though she woke up before dawn, Hecuba and Cyrene had been waiting for her in the tavern's main room, chatting over a breakfast they had obviously finished long ago. When Xena had finished descending the stairs, Cyrene had quickly pushed herself to her feet and intercepted her, grasping Xena hard around her wrist and tugging her towards the door.

"Come on, come on! There's so much to do! Hecuba, you've got Gabrielle, right?"

"Right, Cyrene," Hecuba replied, giving a quick nod. "If she doesn't wake up on her own soon, I'll be sure to do it myself. But get going- we've got too much to do to dawdle."

Before Xena could really protest, Cyrene dragged her from the tavern, into the first day of Tartarus.

From the tavern they ended up at the seamstress', where she poked and prodded and made comments on Xena's form, all in the name of measuring her for a new dress (Xena had suggested she just get married in her leathers, and in that moment she had feared for both her mother's and the old shop owner's life. The two women had looked like they were about to have a heart attack, and it was only when the seamstress' had said, in a shaky voice that sounded like she was about to croak any day now, that she would die before she let a bride get married in her traveling gear that Xena had quieted and let the torture begin).

From the seamstress' they went to the Temple of Hera, where, for far longer than Xena would have liked, the priest insisted on joining them as they examined the hall where the wedding was to take place. If he had been silent, like many of the priests were unless directly spoken to, it would have been fine. A bit unnerving, since she didn't like being followed by quiet strangers, but she could have stood it. Instead, he spent the entire time she and Cyrene were there, jabbering on and on, talking about Hera and marriage and a dozen other topics she didn't care about. And every time he started a new sentence, which was often with the amount he had been talking, it sounded like he was about to jump into song, only to abandon the idea at the last moment.

She was almost glad when Cyrene dragged her to the bakery because it meant being free from that sound. Though that relief was short lived soon after they got there- the moment she sat down, the baker shoved sweet after sweet before her, insisting she eat at least a bite of each one to find the one she liked the most. "For the reception, darling," the old man who owned the bakery had stated, practically shoving a piece of glazed bread into her mouth. "Your girl and her mother were in here earlier, and once the two of you have figured out what you both like, we can get started on making enough for all the guests!"

Xena almost had to lean on Cyrene by the time they were done there, her stomach protesting the unusual amount of sugar that had been forced down her throat. She kept it all in, just barely, but she was almost glad to be taken back to the seamstress' so the woman could get measurements of her waist after she had eaten, to add in whatever extra fabric was needed.

It was constant movement, constant interactions with people who wanted her opinion on things she didn't even care about, and then half of them would come back a few minutes after she had given it to say it directly conflicted with Gabrielle's, who had been in earlier. From shop to store to market stall, she and Cyrene ran, all while continuing to happily accept the well-wishes of well-wishers.

Xena never prayed so hard in her life for something, anything, to cause a bit of trouble so she could slink away and fix it, earning just a few minutes by herself to breathe. But no such luck, and when she and Cyrene finally made it back to the tavern that night, Xena had barely had enough strength to say good night before practically crawling the stairs to her room. She had been exhausted, both physically and mentally, and it had only been Gabrielle, already deeply asleep in their bed, despite it being still early, that had kept her from screaming the moment the door closed.

Riding herself of her leathers and climbing into bed next to the warm bard was the highlight of her day, and it just continued on into the next.

At least the next day they were kept together, Xena and Gabrielle drawing strength from each other as they faced what their mothers threw at them. They discussed the sweets they were forced to eat once again (this time, it was Xena's heart that rebelled, the organ thundering in her ears as the overload of sugar took over. Or maybe it was because of the fact that Gabrielle spent their entire time in the bakery hand feeding her, a strange little smile crossing her face whenever the tips of her fingers brushed ever so lightly against Xena's lips. Which was every time a new choice was brought out). They spent hours arguing over flower arrangements, sorting through the half dozen designs Cyrene and Hecuba had come up with to come to a final decision. They both suffered another measuring for their gowns, having to talk through a curtain the entire time since, according to Hera's tradition, neither could see the other in their dresses until the actual wedding.

"Just go with it, Xena," Gabrielle had said, rolling her eyes at Xena's pout at being forced to wait in the main room. "We don't need another goddess after our skins, so just wait."

Even together, helping each other through the annoyances of wedding planning, they were still, again, beyond tired when they returned to the tavern, both of them wanting nothing more than to eat some real food and go to sleep.

Fate had a different story in mind for them though, for the moment they sat down, a group of children- who had been clearly waiting for them, since they appeared out of nowhere the second they were seated- surrounded their table, begging for a story.

"Only if you feel up to it, Gabrielle," Xena said, her hand coming to rest at the base of Gabrielle's neck, gently massaging the tense muscles she knew she would find there. Smirking as Gabrielle let out a pleased sigh, it was a few long moments before the bard responded, her eyes opening to stare at the children with a smile. Shifting closer to Xena on the bench, almost putting her in her lap, Gabrielle waved towards the free spaces around them, almost laughing as the children scrambled to fill them.

"I'm up for a short story," Gabrielle said, leaning against Xena for support- even her voice sounded exhausted, though her eagerness to please overrode everything else. "Is there a specific one you want to hear?"

"How did you and Xena fall in love?" It was a little girl who spoke up, her eyes wide and hopeful and excited for the tale. When all of the other children murmured in agreement, Gabrielle just glanced up at Xena, worrying her lip as she thought.

"Well," Gabrielle said slowly, turning back to meet the excited gazes before her, her mind racing as she tried to pick out the perfect story for her lie. "I can't speak for Xena, but I can tell you about the first time I realized I was in love with her. Would that be ok?" When the children nodded, all of them eager to hear the tale, Gabrielle launched into the story, a surge of energy racing through her as she spoke. "Well, it all began about a year and a half after Xena and I started traveling together. Xena had been badly injured in a battle…"

Xena sighed as she leaned back against the wall behind her, her eyes sliding shut as she listened to Gabrielle's story. That had been the first time she had died, only coming back to life through sheer willpower and possessing Autolycus to get the ambrosia. Not a fun experience for either of them. She and Autolycus had been forced to have a good heart-to-heart about what they had learned about each other, something neither of them had relished. It had taken Gabrielle weeks to be able to sleep without nightmares about losing her, and dying hadn't exactly been pleasant. She had been expecting it to be a bit like the stories- as the end drew closer, the pain would start to fade, leaving only a simple numbness that would let her pass peacefully. Not the case. The pain had remained steady, draining her, barely leaving her enough strength to give her last request to the healer and Gabrielle.

Her physical death had been painful, but hearing Gabrielle's thoughts in Tartarus, mourning her loss, had been even more so. She hadn't been able to bear it, and so had come back.

And kissed her while in Autolycus' body, but when Gabrielle had brought it up a few days after her return, Xena had just brushed it off as excitement at seeing her again.

"And when she pushed herself out of the coffin," Gabrielle said, fighting back a yawn as she finished the tale, "I just knew." She turned her head and smiled warmly at Xena, shifting so she was settled into Xena's side. She rested her head on Xena's shoulder as Xena's arm wrapped around her, drawing her close. "I knew she was my destiny," Gabrielle added, "and I knew I was in love with her."

"Now go on," Xena said, waving her free hand, opening one eye to watch the children before her. "You had your story. Go home- it's time for us adults to go to bed."

"What about you, Xena? When did you know you were in love with Gabrielle?"

Xena opened both eyes to examine the little girl who had spoken up, the same one who had requested Gabrielle's story to begin with. Large blue eyes, thick blonde curls- dressed in her little pink dress, she almost reminded Xena of Aphrodite.

At least this version was cuter.

"I don't know," Xena said honestly, reclosing her eyes. "I was willing to risk my life for hers three weeks after we first met. I knew she was the most important person in my life when she almost left me to go to Athens' Academy for Bards. And when I almost lost her in the war between the Mitoans and the Thessalians? I was prepared to fight Hades himself if it meant I could have her back. She's my light and my love. Besides," she added, cracking one eye and shooting the children a smirk, "I've never been good with dates."

"You were really going to fight Hades for me," Gabrielle asked softly after the children had run off, Xena's short explanation satisfying their desire for another tale.

Xena didn't respond. Instead she just turned her head and pressed a kiss to Gabrielle's temple, just holding her close. When she finally did speak, her voice was almost shaking, though Xena kept it under control. "You are my light, Gabrielle. I couldn't bear to lose you. If that meant fighting Hades himself, then I would have done it to get you back."

The two of them lapsed into silence, just enjoying the peace and quiet of each other's company. It wasn't until Cyrene came out with food for them that they reluctantly pulled apart, though they still stayed close as they ate.

"You two look dead on your feet," Cyrene said with a small laugh. "You should go to bed- we have just as busy of a day tomorrow as we did today, and it'll all probably have to bleed over into the day after as well. So go to sleep, and sleep well."

And Cyrene was right, on both counts. The two had barely fallen into bed when their mothers were at their sides, once again forcing them to their feet to deal with planning the wedding neither of them wanted but were going to end up with. At least Hecuba still had no idea what was really going on, though Xena suspected that Cyrene was taking extra glee in the torture because Gabrielle's mother couldn't.

It was finally, as their third day in Amphipolis ended and the fourth began, that Xena decided enough was enough.

"Gabrielle," Xena said softly, gently shaking her awake. When Gabrielle just moaned and tried to bury her face into the pillow, Xena stole it, leaving Gabrielle's head to fall to the mattress with a small thump.

"Xena," Gabrielle said stiffly, her words muffled by the cloth. "I have been poked and prodded and stabbed in placed I should never be stabbed by a needle. I have gained a healthy distain for ivy, and the color white, and everything else having to do with weddings. I haven't slept until my normal wake up time since we arrived. So there had better be a good reason for you waking me up this early."

"Get up and come with me. We're getting out of here."

"Xena, we can't," Gabrielle said, suddenly fully awake, scrambling out of bed to grab the warrior as she collected their saddlebags, half repacking them. "Xena, we promised Cyrene we would go through with this. And if we left now everyone would be so upset, and I'd never be able to look my parents or Lila in the eyes again, and-"

"We're not leaving for good," Xena cut in, placing a finger on Gabrielle's lips to stop the bard in her rant. "Just for the day, I promise. If we leave now," she continued, moving away so she could continue to collect their things, "then we'll get to where I want to go before dawn. That's the best time to be there. And then we can spend the day there, and coming back tonight. Just you, me, and Argo before we come back to the craziness that's our wedding."

"It still feels weird to hear you say that," Gabrielle admitted, though she pulled on her shoes, suddenly eager to be out of the room. "'Our wedding.' As if we really had any choice in all of this."

"At least they're letting us chose the reception treat," Xena joked, smiling brightly. "Now come on. I've got a horse waiting for us out back."

Gabrielle smiled back and took her hand, letting the warrior lead her out into the darkness.

Just like Xena said, it was still dark when they reached their destination. At first it looked like nothing- just a sheer cliff wall rising from the forest, the rocky outside covered in vines and moss. However, Gabrielle's mind was quickly changed as Xena slid to the ground right before a hanging of vines and walked right towards them, disappearing into the stone.

"My brothers and I found this when we were kids," Xena said, popping back out to help Gabrielle down from Argo's back. Taking her hand firmly in her own, Xena began to lead the way, using her touch and her memories of the tunnel to lead them. "Toris thinks it might have been a mine that was abandoned during a war a few hundred years ago. All the miners were called away to fight, and just no new ones came back to continue working it. Watch your head."

Gabrielle ducked as they passed under a row of stalactites, the ends of the stones just brushing against the tip of her head, sending a stream of cold water down her spine. Shuddering, Gabrielle wiped as much of it off as she could when they could stand again, her face scrunching up as the water soaked into her back. "Xena, I'm getting wet."

"Don't worry, what we're about to see is worth it."

It didn't take much longer for the path to begin angling upwards, Xena having to help Gabrielle over some unseen bumps and around some jagged edges, the entire time while in darkness. It was almost unnerving- Gabrielle kept seeing these little flashes of light, sources she knew didn't exist this deep underground, but still they kept appearing, stealing her attention.

"Lyceus used to call them 'phantoms,'" Xena said when she felt Gabrielle start, guessing the reason behind it. "They don't exist- this long without light, and your mind starts playing tricks on you because you want to see something. Just close your eyes and ignore them. We're almost there."

Xena's promise held true- within a few more minutes they had come to a halt. It was still dark, but Gabrielle could feel a strong breeze caressing her face, meaning they were close to an opening.

"Keep your eyes closed, ok," Xena said, gently untangling their hands, "and stay still. I need to get some things done."

She didn't get a chance to respond before Xena pulled away, leaving the bard standing alone in the cave. She didn't go far though- the entire time Gabrielle could hear her, muttering to herself under her breathe about plant growth and angles. The slight swish of her sword through said plants also reached the bard, though still she couldn't figure out what the woman was doing.

It didn't take Xena long to finish whatever she was planning, quickly returning to Gabrielle's side and taking her by the shoulders, leading her a few steps off to the side, until the breeze was stronger.

"You can go ahead and look. Dawn is in just a few minutes- you don't want to miss this."

Opening her eyes, Gabrielle squinted into the darkness, trying to find some hint at whatever they were waiting for. In the darkness, she couldn't tell, though she didn't need to wait long.

"Oh, Xena. It's beautiful."

As the sun rose, the first rays shot straight towards them, passing through holes in the walls of the tunnel to hit their faces. Someone, probably Xena and her brothers, had places bits and pieces of crystal and glass into most of the holes, angled perfectly to catch the light, reflecting it onto the walls and the floor. Each piece created a perfect rainbow to light up the cavern, the lines crossing and over lapping until almost every space was covered in color.

Including the two women who stood there, watching the dancing streams as the sun continued to rise.

"The three of us spent weeks coming here at sunrise to get this set up," Xena explained, her voice soft as she took in the sight- it really was beautiful, though her gaze kept being drawn back towards Gabrielle, watching her reaction as the room continued to glow. "It doesn't always work, but when it does? It's breathtaking."

"Yes, it is." Only Gabrielle wasn't looking at the room around her when she spoke- she had already turned her head to look up at Xena, meeting and holding the warrior's gaze. Xena might have imagined it, but in the shifting light, it almost looked as if Gabrielle had glanced down at her lips before returning to her eyes, an unsettling look of guilt and nerves appearing in her glance.

Xena couldn't help herself. Reaching out, her hand gently lifting Gabrielle's face higher, Xena pressed a quick, gentle kiss onto her lips- not because she had to, to settle a room of drunkards, not because she was coming back life and wanted to celebrate their reunion, not for any of the other dozens of reasons Xena had used to kiss her best friend over the years. She did it because she wanted to.

If she had to lie after, claim it was a friendly gesture, nothing more, she would to keep their friendship intact. But Xena was tired of lying, to herself and to everyone else, and she wanted to kiss Gabrielle. Being selfish, ignoring all the risks, she did.

And Gabrielle kissed her back, her hands sliding up, one to rest on Xena's shoulder while the other circled around her neck, making it hard for Xena to pull away if she ever wanted to. Which she didn't, her free hand moving to Gabrielle's waist to pull her closer, the kiss becoming deeper, more insistent, neither willing to be the first to break the contact. Even when they had to, their breathing short and almost panicked as they tried to catch up with their lung's needs, they still stayed close, peppering each other's faces with quick pecks, clinging to the other as tightly as they could.

"So," Xena finally said when they had both calmed down, her hand moving from Gabrielle's chin to run through her hair, Xena's fingers playing with the soft locks as she smiled down at the bard. The bard she had been in love with for so long, who she had just kissed. Who had just kissed her back. "You only love me as a friend, huh?"

Seeing the teasing smirk, Gabrielle couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh, punch her, or kiss her again, all three activities extremely appealing to her at the moment. So all three she did, chuckling softly to herself before using the hand that rested on Xena's shoulder to smack her arm, the warrior actually starting at the impact. When she opened her mouth- to complain, to tease her again, whatever, Gabrielle neither knew nor cared- Gabrielle cut her off, using her hold on the back of Xena's neck to pull her back down into another kiss.

Whatever Xena had been about to say was lost, as was the rest of the rainbow coloring as the two kissed through the sunrise.

Not that either minded. Not one bit.


AN 3: First kisses in rainbow caverns. See, I told you it got gay.