I really appreciate the reviews guys, thanks so much =)
Here's chapter 4, enjoy!
Over the next week or so, Dani and Santana spent a little more time together, but never alone. Dani visited Santana and Rachel's room to chat and hang out, and sometimes Santana would join the blonde, her roommate Christine, and a couple others at a few meals. They still never managed to get each other's number, though they both wanted to, more than anything. Since they rarely saw each other alone, they though it would be nice to text or call one another to have conversations just between the two of them. Despite that, they still enjoyed the times they did get to see one another, talk and enjoy each other's presence.
Dani thought it was safe to say that her and Santana were friends. So what was stopping her from asking the brunette for her number...as a friend? Oh right, the fact that maybe, just maybe she was beginning to like her as more than a friend. She tried not to think about it too much, but she was realizing that Santana may be the second girl she was falling for. Though it scared her to death, just like it did with Jennifer, she still felt good. She felt good about the idea of Santana as more than a friend, and this feeling only made her more afraid. What if it turns out that she is a lesbian? Would her sister judge her? The blonde didn't think she could bare it if her sister decided she didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. Their mom passed a few years back and their father wasn't in their lives at all. It was just the two of them. Would her friends judge her? She knew Christine would support her, but what about everyone else? Well most of her friends were Christine's friends too, and they all didn't care that she was a lesbian. So Dani figured her friends wouldn't be much of an issue. She was mostly afraid of what her sister would think, and most of all, what her mom would think. She couldn't recall her mom ever being against homosexuality, but what if she was? What if she'd look down on her and be disappointed. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her mother. And finally, besides the two most important people to her, what would she think about herself? The more she gets to know Santana and spend more time with her, the more the invisible scale tips to yes, rather than no to whether she is a lesbian or not. Just saying the phrase, I am a lesbian, makes Dani feel like she's an eight year old who just said the F word in front of her parents. If this is in fact who she was, she wanted to be comfortable about it, not ashamed and worried that she's doing something wrong.
Its getting to the point where the blonde couldn't hold it in anymore, she needed to talk to someone about what she was feeling and what is going on in her head. Dani knew that her roommate wanted her to talk about what's on her mind pertaining to the subject, but she appreciated Christine for not pressuring her to. So she decided that she wouldn't hold her tongue anymore, and relieve the weight of this situation off her shoulders.
Dani felt great when she was around Santana, despite how nervous she got as well. And she hoped that Santana felt the same, which made her wonder if the taller girl was interested in females. She didn't wear a 'I am a lesbian' sign on her forehead, but she couldn't help but notice that Santana never once mentioned a boyfriend or a male interest since they started hanging out. Or a girlfriend for that matter, so Dani had absolutely no clue. Though this was one of the many wonders she had about the taller girl, she decided not to let it consume her and enjoy their developing friendship.
On a Wednesday night, Santana decided to study and do homework in the lounge to giver her roommate some privacy while she Skyped with her boyfriend Finn. Finn also went to high school with the two and has been with Rachel ever since their junior year.
The brunette was focused on her work until someone walked through the doors and she looked up to see it was Dani. The blonde wore a red T-shirt with a small patch of sweat on the neck line and fitted stretch workout pants that emphasized her hips and curves. Santana figured she had just finished at the gym and she loved the way those pants fit the shorter girl. Once Dani noticed Santana in the lounge, her face lit up slightly. "Hey San," the blonde greeted the taller girl as she walked to where she was sitting and pulled her ear plugs from her ear.
"Hey Dani," Santana greeted back, trying not to stare at the blonde's body and admire her curvy figure. "Coming from the gym?"
"Yeah," Dani replied as she took a seat across from the other girl. "You getting some work done out here?" She asked scanning over the scattered books and laptop on the table below her.
"Yeah, I wanted to give Rachel a little privacy while she Skyped with Finn, and I didn't feel like going all the way to the library," Santana explained. Dani shook her head understandingly and smiled. Their eyes caught and held together once again for a long moment for like the tenth time since they met. It would happen while they were with their friends, when everyone is engaged in conversation, Santana and Dani's eyes would somehow find each other's and for those few moments its like everyone else in the room disappeared. They didn't know what these intense staring sessions meant, but both girls started to notice it happen the more it occurred, and Santana began to see what Rachel was talking about when she made that comment about them before.
"You have...really pretty eyes," Santana said breaking the silence.
Dani instantly blushed and her cheeks turned bright red as she smiled and looked down at her hands. "Thank you." She definitely wasn't expecting that.
Santana smiled as she watched the blonde. Dani looked back up at the darker girl, not really knowing what to say.
"So, how was the uh, gym?" Santana asked. She sensed the other girl's nervousness and decided to ease the intensity of what just occurred.
"It was good. Exhausting, but good," Dani replied, thankful that the darker girl changed the subject.
"Yeah I try to go to the gym a few times a week. Maybe we could umm, go together sometime," Santana suggested. She decided to start making small moves in hopes to spend more time with the shorter girl, hopefully for them to bond alone.
It took everything inside of Dani to keep herself from jumping for joy at this moment as Santana expressed an interest in socially bonding with her. "We should. I could use a workout buddy," she said smiling at the girl across from her.
"Great," the darker girl said returning Dani's smile. "Here, I left my phone in my room, but you can uh write down your number if you want and I'll give you mine. You can text me whenever you're going to the gym."
"Okay, sounds good," Dani said as she wrote down her cell number on a blank sheet of paper that Santana slid across the table. Once she was done, she handed the brunette her iPhone and watched as she entered her name and number. Dani wanted to jump for joy for a second time as she finally got Santana's number, but instead did a little dance in her head, obviously not wanting the gorgeous girl to think she was a total dork, and also because her body was exhausted after spending the last hour and 45 minutes in the gym.
"Mm-kay, I'm gunna let you get back to your work," Dani said after Santana returned her phone. "I need to shower and relax my body before I pass out."
The other girl chuckled. "Okay. I'll see you later," she said, watching the blonde's body as she got up and pushed in the chair. Santana raised her eyes from Dani's body to her eyes and found that the shorter girl was watching her.
Dani smiled at other girl, "Later," she said as she walked toward the doorway of her wing.
Was she just checking me out? Dani thought as a small grin played on her lips.
After Dani finished showering and settling in for the night, she decided that she'd finally talk with Christine about what is on her mind relating to her feelings for Santana and her confusion about her sexuality.
"Hey Chris, you got a second? I wanted to talk to you about something," Dani said once she got comfortable on her bed. Christine was laying on her bed while surfing the web on her laptop.
"Yeah sure, what's up?" she responded, giving her roommate her undivided attention.
"So, you remember what I told you about what happened with me and my high school best friend Jennifer..." The blonde looked down at her hands as she spoke. She was still very nervous talking to someone about this, even though she knew Christine wouldn't judge or point fingers. Not just because she was a lesbian, but because she was the type of person who was very open minded and a great friend.
"Yeah, I remember," the other girl said as she watched her roommate across the room. From the tone of Dani's voice and her body language, Christine could tell that the blonde was about to open up.
"I..I just have so much on my mind about it. I'm so confused, Chris. I think I may have feelings for Santana, and I...I'm just tired of keeping it all in and not talking about it with someone," Dani confessed. She inhaled deeply through her nose and let her breath out slowly through her lips. This is it, she was going to open up, spill everything that has been bugging her, and though she was terrified, she was glad it was with Christine who has become one of her closest friends since their freshman year.
"You know you can talk to me, Dan," Christine said giving her friend an encouraging smile.
Dani finally looked up to look at the other girl and gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I know. I never thought that I couldn't come to you. I was just...kind of scared to talk about it out loud," she explained. "But I'm ready now. I need to talk to someone."
"Okay, I'm all ears," Christine said as she got up from her bed and sat in Dani's chair at her desk that was beside the blonde's bed.
It took about 15 minutes for Dani to get everything out, and she honestly thought she felt physically lighter after getting it all off of her chest. She let out a huge breath when she was finished and it felt great. Her roommate sat there quietly and listened intently as her roommate explained every detail about her troubles.
"Now was that so hard?" Christine teased.
Dani chuckled. "It definitely was."
"I'm kidding. I'm glad you decided to share with me, I know it wasn't easy," The other girl said seriously.
Dani gave her roommate a genuine smile. "So what do you think? Honestly."
Christine looked her roommate in the eye as she told her what she honestly thought her friend should do. "I think that you should follow your heart, and try not to care about what other people will think, Dan."
"It's easier said than done, Chris," Dani replied.
"I know it is. That's why I said try." Christine reasoned. "One of the worst things you can do is let other people determine your happiness."
The blonde considered her friend's words. "You're right," she agreed. But there was still one thing she wasn't sure of. "So...am I a lesbian?" Dani asked, afraid of the answer.
"Well I don't think I should be the one to determine that fact," Christine answered honestly. "It depends on what you feel, not me."
Dani bit on her bottom lip as she went into deep thought, trying to figure out an answer to her question.
"But let me as you this," Christine said interrupting Dani's thoughts. "Do you see yourself in a relationship with a guy any time soon or in the future?"
"I'm not psychic, Chris. I can't see into the future."
The other girl chuckled. "Okay, I'll rephrase. Do you see yourself wanting a relationship with a guy any time soon, or ever?"
Dani thought about her roommates question for a short moment. After what she experienced with Jennifer, the blonde began to lose interest in being with guys. Sure she'd flirt, but it was all in fun. She never really looked for anything to go further than that. "Truthfully, I don't think I do. Being with another girl seems more ideal for me right now."
"Okay, one more question," Christine began. "What if you woke up tomorrow and Santana was a guy? Everything was the same; personality, good looks, everything, but she was a dude. Would you still be interested?"
Dani scrunched up her lips and moved them to the side as she thought. "Probably not," she answered.
"Yes or no, Dan," the other girl said.
"No. I wouldn't be interested." The blonde answered again.
"Okay, well that should help you answer your question." Christine said with a small smile. She figured that her roommate knew deep down what the answer was, but she'd let her come to terms with it on her own. "And if you decide that you are, always know that I am here for you. Us lady part lovers gotta stick together."
Dani laughed her infectious laugh at her roommate's comment.
"I'm serious, we do," Christine added as she laughed with her roommate. "And also, know that it's not the end of the world. The heart wants what the heart wants, and if it happens to want be with another girl, there's nothing to be ashamed of," she explained.
"You're right, and instead of thinking about it too much and coming up with excuses around it, I'm gunna come out and say it. I am a lesbian and I won't be ashamed of that," Dani said confidently. It shocked her a little.
"Yes! And don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are or make you feel that you're any less of a person than they are."
Dani looked at her roommate and smiled. "Thank you, Chris," she said as she extended her arms for a hug. "For everything." Dani was so glad to have Christina and that she had her support getting through this. She wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else.
"No problem, Dan," the other girl responded, standing up from her seat and hugging her roommate.
"You definitely get the 'Best Roommate' award," Dani added as they departed from the hug and Christine headed to the door to go to the bathroom.
"I'd like my award in a platinum frame, with crystals around the edge. Thanks," her roommate said before she opened the door and left.
Dani shook her head and laughed at her friend. She positioned herself on her back, lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I did it," she said to herself quietly as a smile crept upon her lips. Just as she was getting comfortable in her bed, she heard her phone buzz from a text message. She sat up and looked over to see who it was and smiled when she saw it was from Santana. Her smile grew as she read the message.
Santana (11:01): Sweet dreams, pretty eyes ;)
Christine walked into the room as Dani was smiling down at her phone. "What's got you so cheesy over there? Or shall I say who?" she said with a sly grin.
Dani looked up at her roommate, still smiling from ear to ear. "Santana texted me."
"Oooh! What did she say?" Christine asked excitedly.
"She said sweet dreams and added a winking face," The blonde said.
"Awww!"
Dani blushed. "Stop!"
Christine turned off the light and climbed into her bed. "Dani and Santana sitting in a tree..."
Dani rolled her eyes at her roommate. "You're such a fifth grader."
She returned to her phone and typed a reply. She read it over quickly, then pressed send.
Dani (11:03): Sweet dreams, gorgeous ;)
She put her phone back on her desk and turned over in her bed. With thoughts of Santana and her text message in her head, the blonde fell asleep content with how her day turned out.
Aren't they cute! xD
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