Here's chapter 4. Here we mostly stay with Xander and Peri. Fluff is coming. :D
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My every dark sides
Chapter 4
"Lady Corrin?"
The young woman opened her door to Mozu, surprised to see Niles standing next to his wife, watching over her like a mother hen.
"How can I help you guys?"
"Well, it's good news actually, but… It depends on how you see it." Mozu started, fidgeting a bit with her hands.
"Do you want to come inside?"
They settled around her table with some tea and Niles delivered the news.
"Mozu's with child. She can't join the battlefield until the birth."
"Oh, well, congratulations guys!"
"But I could still fight! Especially if we're short on people. I know Effie is really advanced and cannot even wear her armor, but I barely have any symptoms yet and…"
"Mozu, I know you want to be of use, but you mustn't put yourself or your unborn child in harm's way." The princess objected.
"Thank you Corrin for being reasonable."
"Niles, please, try to understand me." The young girl turned to Corrin, quickly adding: "If he doesn't come back from the fights, I don't know what I'll do…"
"He'll come back. We haven't lost anyone yet and I intend on keeping that record, Mozu. I'll look after him myself if he plays the lone wolf."
It took a little more convincing, but soon, Mozu agreed to stay back. Niles seemed reassured, until later, when Arthur reminded him that whenever they left for battle, only a handful of fighters were staying back in the castle. Everybody was surprised how caring Niles was, but he was simply afraid to lose his budding family.
Corrin had more comforting to do in the following days, until new orders from Garon arrived. They packed and marched toward their target, Corrin hoping she could resolve this new conflict peacefully. Silas stayed by her side, not as optimistic as her, but ready to dry her tears if things went bad. They faced a few skirmishes on their way, but nothing unmanageable. Keaton and Camilla were inseparable, sharing a tent. Only married couples were authorized to do so and Xander still shared his own tent with Lazlow, while Peri slept with either Felicia or Corrin. Elise was learning magic with Leo, wanting to help in other ways than healing. Most everyone had reached a new class and were familiarizing themselves with new weapons. Xander had focused so hard on training with swords that he had fallen behind with the lances. Peri sparred with him at least once a day, claiming that without reach, he'd meet an untimely end on the battlefield.
He could tell she was pushing herself. They were all pushing themselves. He hadn't involved himself in the idea. It was part of his duty to be harder with himself than the rest of his people. He couldn't fail yet. Not until he was done with his duty.
They were ordered to conquer a particularly resistant city. Although little people were left for death usually, their opponents fell, proving too dangerous to be left alive. If it wasn't enough, Corrin's troops were outnumbered. Xander could barely keep an eye on his brother and sisters' movements. He trusted them, but he still worried. He rushed his steed left and right, holding the line. Peri stayed close to him.
"I think we can break through their ranks," she suggested him, impaling someone on her lance and shoving his corpse to the side.
There was a smile on her face as she battled mercilessly and Xander felt something sour in the back of his throat. His sword parried and pierced armors and limbs. His horse trampled people. Their battlefield was covering the city and a forest, streets and meadows filled with brigands and mercenaries alike. For once, they were almost as strong as their little army. For once, the fight wore on them, corpses aligning. Elise, Jakob and Felicia were running all over their ranks, healing people. Benny carried Charlotte on his back and Corrin was on Silas' horse, waving her swords through people although it broke her heart to take anyone's life.
Camilla was in the sky, raining down thunder spells, her husband always close to her, either running in her wyvern's shadow or just rushing through people to keep up with her. Xander evaded an archer's shot and charged. Peri didn't have the space to follow, but he wasn't overly worried. He had trained for such worst-case scenarios. The ringing in his sword arm was familiar. The rush in his veins told him he was invincible. And he felt invincible. Although he wasn't. His horse slipped on some piece of armor. For an instance, Xander struggled for balance. One weapon master grabbed the opportunity. A dart went through the air and his armor didn't resist. He felt the blade in his side. His ribs against the cold metal. He almost let go of his sword, but there was too much adrenaline left in his system. He couldn't fail like that.
A war cry came out of his throat as he took every threat around him. He saw a brown horse and blue hair in the corner of his eyes. Noticed the fact twice his body count was accumulating and realized that Peri was backing him up. But the blood was seeping from his wound. He tried to keep his hold on the reins. To blink away the pain.
"Milord!"
His face turned whiter as he fell from his mount. He let go of Siegfried and barely managed not to impale himself on any of the weapons lying on the ground.
Was he failing ? Why was he still wondering about something like this when… Peri jumped off her horse and rushed to his side.
"My lord!"
The ninja knife was deeper in his side then he'd thought. He struggled to right himself and gritted his teeth. The pain was running all throughout his body.
"I need to get back up."
"You need to get treatment, dummy!"
He could have laughed at that puerile insult if the pain wasn't growing. He held the knife in place, every movement a torture, the blood coating his fingers. He'd never remember losing so much blood and he could tell his retainer was working hard not to collapse in a panic next to him. Peri pulled him up, careful to avoid touching his wounded side. He had to lean heavily on her and it was only with the help of her mount that she hoisted him on the saddle in a precarious position.
"Per…"
"Don't speak, lord Xander," she snapped. "I'm getting you out of here."
The fight still raged on and Peri had trouble deciding what would be best for her prince, rushing through enemy ranks to regroup with potential friendly healers or just getting away from all the commotion. She couldn't really fight back and keep Xander on her horse. The prince was on his good side, gripping at the horse's mane with his free hand, the other still applying pressure to his wound. He couldn't remember if he carried any vulnerary with him. His mind felt hazy and the jolts from the slow trot from Peri's horse were each a new torture. When she finally pulled the reins to a stop, he felt too weak to even align two coherent words.
The dart had been covered with poison. It was ruining his entire system. She helped him down as best as she could and Xander couldn't remember everything clearly from there. She had called out his name on a soft voice, hoping no enemy would spot them. She'd forced him to stay awake and cried at some point, since the blood was starting to remind her of her passed away mother.
"Be safe, be safe."
In the fog of pain, Xander could only listen and feel. Peri's hands on his feverish skin. The crown circlet falling from his head. Tearing in his muscles, in his flesh and his boiling blood, his mind freezing. He wanted to be concerned for his retainer. He wanted to comfort her. But he fainted. When he woke up, his sisters were all over him, Elise crying as she mended his wound while Felicia was working on removing the remaining poison. Camilla looked half furious, half relieved.
"How could you rush in like that?!" Corrin asked him, kneeled next to his cot.
"I…"
"You shouldn't talk milord. You should rest and…" the pink-haired maid warned him.
Strangled sobs behind all of them caught his attention and he noticed blue hair with red strands. Leo was trying to escort Peri outside. Guilt tug at his heart for putting the poor girl in that state.
"I'm… okay…" Xander sighed, his voice coming out in whimpers and shakes.
"You most definitely are not!" Camilla protested. "Your face was almost green when we caught up to you!"
"Peri got you far from the enemy, but we almost didn't find you in time."
The sobs got stronger and Leo hissed at Corrin's wrong choice of words. Xander tried using his arms to raise himself up but it was no use, three pair of hands already pushing him back down. His strength he had worked so hard on was fleeting and he'd rarely felt so helpless. He wanted to protest, to warn his brother not to leave Peri in her state, but he couldn't talk, could barely breathe with all the attention his siblings were giving him.
"Sleep, big brother."
…
The next time Xander woke up, he felt a lot better. Laslow was looking over him, humming to himself while he gazed out the castle's window. The prince moved as slowly as possible but barely manage to sit up before that his retainer had noticed his stirring.
"Milord!"
"For your own sake, Laslow, you'll let me up and out of this bed!"
"Whoa there. I'm just following orders. You gave everyone quite a scare."
Xander felt light-headed, although he could tell every of his limbs were reacting normally again and the various aches were gone.
"Have I been out for long?"
"Three days. Corrin went in the astral ream a dozen time to find a shortcut to the castle grounds."
Xander sighed. His sister must have been blaming herself. And he was famished.
"Did anything happen?"
The grey-haired myrmidon shook his head.
"Things have been quiet. No invasions or anything."
"Great… Would you mind fetching some food for me?"
It took Xander another day to get back on his feet. Most everyone had visited him at one point or another during his convalescence but he hadn't seen Peri since the day of the battle. He'd been told that she had been consoled by Laslow and despite his relief at the idea she wasn't crying anymore over him, he couldn't help the jealousy he felt. The young woman was cute and he knew his other retainer wasn't the kind to overlook cute girls. Unlike him.
The crowned prince spent his entire day avoiding everyone. He wasn't used to be cuddled or looked after. Not after all the training he'd been through. He was a conqueror, he was virtually invincible and now everyone around the camp knew he had been stopped by a single kunai. The very thought drove him mad, although he had been pushing himself. But that was part of his role. He knew Corrin had done everything possible to keep this from their Father. But it didn't prevent him from feeling like a failure.
Which was why he set himself to train from daybreak till nightfall. And through the entire night, he kept training, hard and steadily, to drill back in his bones the endurance he must have lost. The moon was high in the sky when someone called out his name. He recognized her voice instantly, but ignored her. He needed to stay focused. Both of his arms were burning and most of his muscles were begging for mercy. He was over-exerting himself. If he kept at it, he might even throw up, but he didn't care. He had been weak and weakness wasn't tolerated. His spirit was fighting a losing battle against his body, a body he had honed and pushed beyond its limits so many times already. He was too young to falter. Too young to accept his limits. Peri used her lance against him, but he parried her attack.
"If you want to spar…"
"You can't spar. You shouldn't train any more than you already did, milord."
He gulped hard through his ragged pants and lowered his sword, shocked that Peri would ever sound more sensible than him.
"I might… have overworked myself here. But I could still take you on." He teased her.
"Right now, I'd rather know you're not trying to catch a cold. You're all covered in sweat."
Xander was taken aback by this more mature Peri. He sheathed his sword and ran one nervous hand through his hair. He was drenched in sweat and only wearing a shirt and a pair of breeches. Usually he would train in full armor, but not tonight, not when he wanted to pay in sweat and pain for all the worry he'd inflicted on his siblings.
"I guess I should head to the baths." He sighed.
Peri blinked and frowned. This wasn't going according to her plan.
"I… The night is a bit fresh, maybe you shouldn't rush and just relax."
She fidgeted with her fingers and bit her lower lip, clearly nervous.
"Peri, are you… faring well?"
"Just peachy, lord Xander."
The title made his throat tighten and he remembered how shaken she had been when he'd gotten hurt. Her hands on his shoulders, clutching at him…
"Would you…"
He wanted her to relax around him, but it seemed she still took away his self-confidence. He couldn't follow his instincts. Couldn't allow himself to feel or to reach out to her.
"Come with me, milord. I know just the place where you could relax."
It was a spur of the moment decision. Her small hand wrapped around his wrist and Peri dragged him out of their camp. Xander followed, too surprised to resist her. Her path leaded them inside woods that opened on a beautiful lake. The moon was shining above them, its rays gently reaching through the threes' foliage. Grass was moving with the breeze and she halted at the very brink of water.
"You should sit down. Catch your breath. Milord."
There was something wrong with the way she kept using his title. Something unlike her. And though his breathing slowed back to a normal pace, the crown prince's heart was beating madly. Peri exuded restlessness. As if something was still broken and she needed to fix it.
She had been terrified at the thought he could have died. She was still terrified, but couldn't voice it. Not if she was to be rejected. So instead, she had taken him here, away from the camp, away from those who could get between them. It wasn't right, she wasn't high enough in the nobility to ever hope that Xander could…
"You're all tensed up, Peri. It's late, you should be sleeping."
"So do you. As your retainer, I should be the one looking after you."
She didn't look at him as she spoke, kneeling in front of the water as Xander sat in the grass. She dipped a piece of clothe in the pristine lake, twisting it and turned back to him. He understood that she wanted him to freshen up and held out his hand to use the cloth himself. But she kneeled in front of him, a serious look on her face.
"Can… May I?" she asked, a slight blush flushing her cheeks.
Xander frowned but nodded anyway. When he realized she aimed to wipe the sweat from his face herself, he tensed up. They had fought back to back and skewered people and rode the same horse whenever the battle situation required it, but they had never been this close. Or well, it had rarely felt this intimate. She noticed his unease and gave him a shy smile.
"I'm doing this as your retainer. It's the least I can do after almost letting you d… die."
"Pe…"
She wiped her cloth right over his mouth, effectively interrupting him. She looked pale and small, but Xander knew better than to call her fragile.
"It wasn't your fault. And you know I'm alright."
Her eyes darkened as she followed his jawline with the cloth, her fingertips brushing against his neck. Xander braced himself, various impulses running through him as she cleaned down his throat, reaching his collarbone. Each gesture was delicate but also deliberate. Her eyes were glued to him, to his exposed skin and he felt a savage need to feel more of her hands, to…
"Peri…"
She jumped, as if she'd just realized what she was doing and hurriedly backed away. But he didn't let her get far, wrapping his fingers around her hand. He couldn't remain of stone, not when she was this close, not when she was so clearly interested in him. This was not the child version of Peri. It looked like her, but there was something more, something…
He tackled her to the ground, unable to think, letting his body rule over his brain. Her arms pushed against his chest in pure reflex and she tensed, instantly sobering his actions.
"I'm sorry, that… that was uncalled for." He apologized, getting off her, his heart filling with remorse.
Peri might sound serious, but she was a child in her heart. Taking advantage of her would be despicable, even if his actions were based of true love and all the care in the world.
"I was just… surprised. You shouldn't apolo…"
"You caught me off guard." He cut her off.
"You don't have to be on guard around me. I'm supposed to protect you."
The knot in his throat was starting to ache. She sounded so guilty and he'd never thought she'd be this worried about fulfilling the duty he'd gave her. It was a cross Peri didn't need to bear.
"You didn't fail me. Don't beat yourself up over it. If that knife had gone into you, you would have died."
Her frame was smaller than his and the poison would have taken over way faster.
She lied back, sighing deeply and he let the silence fill his soul, happy that she hadn't run back to camp already. He had no idea what she could be expecting from him right now. Xander watched her from the corner of his eyes, mentally warning himself not to stare. She was gazing at the stars, her lips mouthing words that she wouldn't voice out loud. Then she shrieked and literally jumped in his lap, shaking her head.
"What… what's wrong?!"
"There's some gross thing… crawling in my hair! Take it away, please, please!"
Her fear of bugs. He should have thought of it when he first pushed her down. While she hid her face against his chest, Xander gently run his fingers through her messy bunches, finding the culprit, a fat centipede that he threw into the water as she yelped in disgust.
"Is it dead?"
"It's gone."
He stroked her shivering back, wondering if she saw him as a big brother like his sisters did. He'd never hold any of them like this. He'd never feel this flustered just from feeling their hands clutching on his shirt. Peri took a few shaky breaths, before to run her own fingers through her blue locks. She didn't move back this time, although he noticed the redness over her cheeks. He felt something warm in his chest and forced a smirk, focusing on her fear.
"I'm surprised you took me here, knowing this place might be crawling with bugs."
"It was Laslow who showed it to me."
Ice shards gripped at his heart and his voice was colder when he retorted:
"Did he?"
She looked up, her nose almost brushing against his and her puzzled expression made her all the more endearing. This was downright torture.
"Yup, he did. Is that… wrong?"
"Of course not. Unless he tried anything untoward."
Her brows frowned and she repeated the foreign word with utter incomprehension.
"What does that mean?"
Xander paled slightly. By feeling overprotective, he was tempting fate and running toward his own deception. Hadn't he been untoward himself with her? And how could he explain what he feared without traumatizing her if she had no idea what he was talking about?!
"It means… forcing someone to do something they don't want."
"Oh, like when Corrin asks me not to kill people?"
Her bright smile could have eclipsed her example if Xander had been less aware. He mentally winced instead.
"No, it's… Gods, Peri, you're messing with me."
He pushed against her shoulders, needing space to think, space to remember that the way this discussion was going, he would be the one trying untoward things on her.
"I'm not, I swear. Why do you always have to use complicated words?"
She grabbed at his hands, looking sad and confused.
Because I'm scared.
"Are you and Laslow… Would you rather be with him right now?"
This was so straight to the point, he couldn't believe that she could ignore his feelings anymore. Or was she too naïve and oblivious?
"No! I mean… Unless you keep me in the dark about untoward's meaning."
"What I did earlier…"
He was at a loss of words and she seemed to like seeing him floundering more and more.
"What?"
"Pushing you down… That was… That was untoward."
He hung his head sheepishly. Peri was amazed to see that look on her prince's face.
"How could it be?! I was shocked at first, but I…"
She clasped her hands around his neck, closing in on him, her smile turning mischievous although she blushed at her own boldness. Xander felt a mix of panic and exhilaration.
Her lips barely brushed against his, a butterfly touch, the ghost of a kiss. It was over with reason and fears and everything! He laid her down and towered above her, slipping one arm beneath her head, his fingers diving between her velvety locks. She shivered between his arms, but her eyes were welcoming, her smile was growing.
"Milord Xander?"
"Only Xander. My sweet, sweet Peri."
He slowly bent down to steal a real kiss from her, although she gently but firmly pushed him back up.
"Were you jealous of Laslow, Xander?"
He couldn't help the smile that got on his face at the sound of his name. No title. And still, more reverence then he'd ever heard before in a woman's voice.
"I may have been. Now I…"
She pushed him back again just as he was leaning down, smirking through her blush.
"You're still my prince, Xander. I don't want to… burden you or…"
"There's no burden. I've never felt lighter in my whole life."
He would kiss her tonight even if he had to die trying!
She had a playful look in her red eyes as she pushed him away for the third time.
"This better be serious. I shan't be compromised like some farm girl."
And it was then that Xander realized that she could be as much of a woman as a girl. She needed a real confession.
"I'm… I'm quite fond of you, Peri." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, eliciting a shiver in her entire body. "More than fond of you."
"I'd love you, with or without that crown." She whispered back, removing the dark circlet from his head.
Her hands framed his face and this time there was no interruption. She held him back and clumsily kissed him, tasting sweet and pure despite everything that she was and had been through. Xander hoped this wasn't a dream as they parted for air and she raised herself to reclaim his lips. When she rolled them over, effectively straddling him, tentatively fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, he was already lost.
"Can I be untoward with you, my lord?" Peri asked him slyly.
He shivered under her touch and decided that any obstacles he could have feared was worth facing if it meant being with her.
"I don't think you could be. Unless you refuse to become my queen."
Her hands froze on his chest and she gasped, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I can't… I just can't! I may be noble, but…"
"I wouldn't have anyone else. You wouldn't deny an entire kingdom, would you?"
She looked shocked and surprised, but also happy and somewhat sad.
"Deny a kingdom? Is this about Norh or about what you want?"
Sitting up as she slid in his lap, he wrapped his arms around her, making sure she wouldn't look away.
"You want me to be serious, don't you? I want… I want you to be my wife Peri. I love you too much to let it be any other way."
"I don't want to cause you trouble. As long as I have your heart…"
He silenced her with a new kiss, realizing she might have seen just as many obstacles as he did. Her hands crept up on his chest, slowly but with purpose, running along his shoulders until her fingers tangled between his golden locks. He held her like he had always wanted, as if she was the most precious thing on earth. In between kisses, Peri asked him more questions, her words alternating between mature and childish.
"When you recruited me as your retainer… Did you already know then?"
He gave her the truth, telling her his fondness had grown over time, until it bloomed so fully, he couldn't contain it anymore. Her smile was contagious. The stars in her eyes. Xander had never let himself act like this. Like a teenager in love. A dozen kisses later, he felt far too hot and bothered to trust himself and gently but firmly kept Peri at arm's length.
"I think this is enough for a first embrace. Or I might force you to face more bugs…"
"And that would be mightily untoward," she retorted with a smirk.
They slowly got to their feet, reluctant to let go of the other.
"If we part like this, I can't help but think that this was all a dream, my lord."
"Is it that hard to only use my name, Peri?"
"It is hard!"
"Try, my dear. Every time you manage to say only my name, it will mean it wasn't a dream."
"Are you sure? People will say I disrespect you."
"Everyone will know that we're to be married if I can help it. You must have whispered my name a dozen times already."
"That's different." She said, blushing deeply.
He stole a new kiss from her, almost shocked to realize how amazing it was to hold her in his arms. He had dreamed of it, but dreams didn't even begin to get close to…
Her whine shattered a barrier within him, making his heart ache and soar all at the same time. He was doing this to her. He was the one filling her eyes with twinkles and sparks. And she sighed his name, feeling as intoxicated as him.
"This is no dream," he swore to her.
Peri gave him a smile that could bring down the heavens, agreeing whole-heartedly with him.
"It's way better than any dream I've ever had."
It wasn't until the morning came that Xander realized just how his brother and sisters might take the news.
To be continued…
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Xander has been looking for trouble, being so disagreeing only to ask for Peri's hand a few days later. It might seem a little fast, but Fire Emblem and its supports are a lot worse. Next chapters should focus more on Camilla and Keaton. I have no idea when I'll get them out, since they're not written yet. ;)
