Enjoy!

"How's Bethany and your father? I forgot to ask." Secretly, I want to know if they are happy together and if there is a chance for me and Edward again. I know I am setting myself up for more heart break, but as Shannon says, I have to many dreams.

"Dad's fine. He's busy in his office, something about office work. Bethany's good too. She's cooking at the moment, cookies I think. She wants me to help her, but I really don't want to." I smiled a little. Shannon doesn't really like Bethany, but Oliver really likes her. It hurts a little to know he likes her, but I hope that if I date again, they will like him as much as they like her.

"Okay, I'm going now. Be good and I will see you in a few days. Love you."

"Love you." She mumbles before hanging up.

Chapter three

Waking up the next day, I laid in bed for a while, listening to the silence of the house. I have never had a lonely Christmas. I had the children last year, and the year before that I had still been with Edward. Emmett and Rose invited me round to spend Christmas with them and the girls, but I don't want to get in the way. They have their own family now, and they don't need me under their feet.

I got up about ten with a sigh; showering quickly. Putting my hair up in a messy bun, I went into the kitchen. As the shop is shut for the holidays, I have nothing to do. Finally deciding on baking, I got everything out and started.

I can still remember making cakes with Edward when I was pregnant with Shannon. His apron made me smile so much. I can still see him in the 'Sexy Bitch ;)' apron. That was an amazing day and I wish I could go back there, knowing what I do now. I wouldn't change anything, except telling him back then how much I love him.

When Shannon was born and I thought I was going to lose her, Edward was there for me, holding my hand. He was so excited to be a father and I was so happy I was the one giving him a child. When I found out I was pregnant with Oliver, he beamed, like he did when I got pregnant with our daughter.

Finding out it was a boy was the icing on the cake. He wanted our second to be a boy. He wanted a girl to spoil and a boy to play football with. He wanted to teach our little girl piano and our little boy how to be a gentleman. His dream was the perfect little family and I thought I gave him just that. I thought he was happy with me and the children. I guess I just wasn't enough.

EPOV

I don't see my ex-wife often, but when I do, it still hurts. She was always the one for me, but I threw it all away. I thought our love was forever, our bond was so strong. Our children were perfect, polite, and well mannered. Everything I could have ever asked for. My baby girl is so talented with her majorettes and my Oli is going to be a pro footballer one day.

When I met Bethany, I didn't like her. She was all over me, all the time, it was so annoying. I was madly in love with my wife, but she was always around, like a fly, always trying to get my attention. I told her I wasn't interested but she wouldn't let up.

Things between Bells and I were going downhill. She was always working, as was I. I worked over time every day to get more money coming in. She was stressed and the children could tell things weren't right with us. I tried to talk to Bella, but she would put it off, complaining that she had a lot on her mind.

When I got into work on mine and Bella's anniversary, Bethany was in my office, wearing a large jacket. When I asked about it, she dropped it and flashed me her black silky underwear. Bethany is a very attractive woman, and I couldn't help but look over her practically naked body. The black bra and panty set she wore was amazing, and I couldn't help but imagine Bella in it.

I asked Bethany to leave, but she still came onto me. Bella and I hadn't been intimate in a really long time and I gave in. I felt guilty and sick as soon as it started, but I couldn't stop. When it was all over, I looked to the door and noticed a brown picnic basket by the door, one that wasn't there before.

I ran over and grabbed it, demanding Bethany away. The tears fell when I looked into the basket. Candles and a homemade lunch sat in there, reminding me of the sin I had just committed. I took out the contents and looked through it, my hands landing on an average sized envelope. Opening it, I felt my heart break. It was a card from Bella.

'Happy Anniversary, baby. I love you so much. I still don't know why you want me, but I thank my lucky stars every day that you do. I couldn't have made a more perfect husband for myself, than you. Thank you for loving me. I love you, your Bella xxxx.'

I broke down and drove home as soon as I could, hoping she would let me explain. She wasn't there when I got home, and I knew it was over. She wouldn't let me talk to her and we split up. I was heartbroken and I could see she was by looking into her eyes. They were filled with hurt and I will never forgive myself for making her look like that. My heart broke that day and I will never get it back.

I stayed with Alice and Jasper for a while after I left, paying rent until I could find a new place. I wasn't myself and everyone could see it. Alice would ask every day what happened and I snapped one day, telling her exactly what happened. She was just as upset as I was and wanted to go to Bella, to comfort her best friend. I begged her not to, that I needed my sister. Things got worse and she dropped all contact with Bella completely. She claimed that she couldn't leave her brother, and seeing her best friend in pain would be too much.

Things with Bethany started up after a few months of being single. She was nice and caring, but she wasn't my Bella. Over time, I have grown to like Bethany and I love seeing her happy. She's my girlfriend now and I can't change that. Bethany loves me, she tells me every day, and I love spending time with her.

She's so carefree and bubbly, Oliver loves her and Shannon is coming around to her, slowly. Shannon has always been a daddy's girl, but when I hurt her mother, she became a mommy's girl. Oliver happily passes between the two of us, but I know Shannon would rather be with Bella. I don't resent her for it, I just except it.

I was pulled from my thoughts when a pair of tan arms wrap around my waist. Turning, I put on a smile and lean down, placing my lips onto Bethany's. I don't feel the same spark I felt when I kissed, or even touched Bella. I miss the effect she had on me and the life she put into my body. I miss her.

"Hey Eddie," Bethany giggles, burying her head in my chest. I hold back my groan. I hate being called Eddie and she knows it. She likes to think it's her own pet name for me, and only she can call me it. She's wrong. I hate anyone calling me it.

"Hey Beth," She groans and pulls back. She hates being called Beth, but I felt like playing with her. If she can call me Eddie, I can call her Beth.

"You know I hate that." She pouts. I kiss her pouted lip with a small smile. I haven't smiled 'properly or crookedly' as Bella calls it since I left Bella, except at my children. The divorce took everything from me, my wife, my heart and my happiness.

"As you know I hate Eddie." I retort, raising my brow. She pulls away and storms out of the kitchen. I go to follow her and see Shannon stood in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

"And what can I do for you?" I ask, leaning onto the counter behind me. She comes over and wraps her arms around my waist. I put my forehead on the top of her head. I miss being close to her. She's always with her mother and when she is here, she's busy practicing for competitions.

"I miss mum," she whispers. I sigh, missing her too.

"Me too," I admit. "Cheer up, it's Christmas tomorrow, Santa's going to come if you have been a good girl." I practically here her roll her eyes. I laugh, knowing she doesn't believe in Santa anymore or anything mythical like that.

"You're so not funny." She giggles, pulling away.

"I know. You can see your mother tomorrow, okay?" She nods and walks away, picking up her baton from where she left it.

When I'm finally left alone, I turn back to my baking and put the cake mixture into the cases. I made these same cakes with Bella when she was pregnant with Shannon. I would love to go back there, things were simple. Bella didn't know of my love for her, but I was perfectly happy with loving her from afar. I was married to Rose and things were going good between everyone.

Things change for the good and the bad, you just have to learn and except them. Some say you learn from your mistakes and they make you a better person. They enable you to move on and grow into something better. I just wish I still had Bella by my side and we could grow and learn from our mistakes together.

Sorry it's short. I think this is better than what I have been writing recently, but it still could be better. What do you think? How do you feel about seeing into Edward mind and what life is like for him? We will be seeing more of Edward in the next few chapters. Next chapter will be Christmas day. Can we get to 30 reviews? Maybe 35?

Thanks for reading.

Twi-girl09

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