Chapter four: randomly-rewritten

Rule no. 4: Remember that things go a lot smoother with the right negotiations. And make sure he's not acquainted with your boss.

000 000 000

Fifteen minutes passed eleven

By this time Kakashi was already in bed reading his favorite orange book, but suddenly remembered was thrown out of the window.

He released a sigh. Unfortunately, his former student and the little blond bombshell have spent the last four hours arguing. Due to the party's sheer exhaustion the three are now laying on the couch with half of their souls gone.

He must admit, he had never seen the young Uchiha act so childishly before. Usually people would jump at the chance to be involved with the other, much to the young Uchiha's annoyance but this blond was one probably one in a trillion.

He released another sigh. That was wrong, he shouldn't be surprised. Sooner or later the raven haired prodigy was going to encounter a person who does not bend his every will that easily.

"Okay. Why don't we start this over?" Being the oldest, he decided to try and take matters into his own hands.

"Sasuke-kun, this could have been a lot easier if you considered Naruto-kun's approval first."

"I'll pay you." Sasuke immediately negotiated. He is after all running out of time.

"Why would I want your money?" he received in return.

"I was already paying you."

That was a good point

"A wife isn't hired."

"So you want to do this without extra pay?"

"No. I'm a part-time housekeeper. A wife is someone who does this for free."

"A housekeeper and a housewife basically do the same type of job. I don't see why this is a problem for you." In Sasuke's overly twisted mind, Naruto is a good option.

"I'M A MAN. TEME" The blond tried to reason.

"You didn't strike me as a sexist, dobe. Same-sex marriage is common in this country."

"Why you! That's not what I meant!"

Kakashi slapped a hand on his face. How dense can Sasuke get?

"She chooses to be with you out of love."

"This makes it more inconvenient. I'm not looking for one."

Apparently the young Uchiha can be a lot denser. He decided to help.

"You see Naruto-kun, Sasuke really needs your help right now." He started. "Sasuke is up for a promotion and his boss wants to invite him and his wife to a dinner party. They kind of got the wrong impression and thinks that Sasuke is married. He didn't want to embarrass the nice old man by telling otherwise in front of many people." Okay, so he sugar coated a bit but how else was he going to make Naruto bite the bait?

"Why me? There are probably a lot out there who would jump to be at Uchiha-teme's side, right?" Kakashi couldn't help but smile at Naruto's response. Realizing that he blurted out the words before he could speak, a light tint of pink covered Naruto's cheeks.

Oooh so he does take notice of Sasuke's appearance. Now I want him to play Sasuke's wife even more.

The two had no way of knowing that the gears on Kakashi's head were slowly turning towards the sadist direction.

"Well that is the thing. He's trying to avoid attachment." Sasuke remained silent due to Kakashi's warning glare. "If there is anything you want. I'm sure Sasuke is willing to give it to you in exchange."

Crystal blue eyes began to dance with thought.

"As long as it's not something too stupid, like a year supply of ramen" Sasuke can't help but comment

"You can do that?" The blue eyes couldn't hide the amazement at the possibility.

'Is he serious?' the two other occupants thought.

"I mean. Well I was just curious." The tan face began to burn red.

"So what is it Naruto?" Kakashi began to pry.

"Well, the reason why I wanted a job is because I want to save enough money so I can afford to send my guardian on a vacation. He has been working so hard ever since he adopted me and couldn't afford to take a break."

"That's awfully nice of you Naruto-kun. I'm sure Sasuke can easily provide a relaxing vacation to the south for him. Right, Sasuke?"

"That is way beyond what I'm…ugh! Whatever." He muttered, nursing the pinch mark that Kakashi all but innocently bestowed upon him.

"This is only one dinner right?"

Both men nodded their head.

"Yeah. I guess its okay." The blond still hesitated but could not find any harm in it at the moment.

"Wonderful! Please be here at nine AM sharp we have a lot to buy and prepare for."

"Buy what?" both Naruto and Sasuke said at the same time.

"To buy a ring, silly. Won't it look weird if Sasuke's infamous wife comes without a pretty and expensive ring on?" If possible Sasuke's face became even paler.

'I'll kill him! Kill him then revive him just so I can kill him all over again!

Kakashi ushered Naruto out of the apartment not even bothering to hide his glee and left Sasuke with his evil murderous thoughts.

000 000 000

The next morning Naruto found himself in front of a jewelry shop.

'Wow. I always see this from across the street but I've never thought I would actually step foot in it." He entered the shop with a fascinated face while a brooding Sasuke trailed behind.

"Ah. Welcome." Both males halted their path and gawked quietly at the overly pierced man in front of them.

"Pein-san! How many times must I tell you not to greet the customers directly!" What appeared to be a clerk with blue hair tied in a rose bun immediately goes out from the back room.

"How can you say that to the shop owner and the jewelry designer?" he countered. She did not listen, instead she shooed the owner away.

"I'm so sorry. Despite how he looks he really is a good craftsman and his designs are impeccable." The pair continued to stand still.

"I er…May I help you?" She tried again.

Sasuke came forward. He lifted his left hand to show a simple Platinum ring with gold markings. "I bought this ring a couple of months ago and I want to purchase another for him." He pointed at his blond companion.

"I'm sorry sir. Our store rules say that we cannot produce a copy of a same design unless it is meant to be for a wedd…Oh." She stared at the placement of the ring on Sasuke's hand, then to a blushing Naruto, who is looking at everywhere but her. She suddenly smiled. Apparently the said clerk is a discreet BL fan.

"I'm going to talk to Pein-san about it. I will need to check what size finger is." She motioned Naruto to come up front and grabbed his hand.

"Will it be possible to have it by today" Sasuke inquired.

"Ooh do you need it now? You can come back in five hours. Don't worry. Pein-san can easily make another one. Though, I hope you don't mind but I am going to need your ring as well." Sasuke took the ring off and handed it to the store clerk.

"Then we will leave it in your hands."

000 000 000

Both Naruto and Sasuke found themselves outside the jewelry shop again.

"That was so embarrassing. I swear she was on to us."

Sasuke remained silent.

"So, what are we going to do to kill time?" The blond asked his stoic companion. He hoped the bastard didn't really plan on waiting outside for FIVE HOURS!

Sasuke lifted his watch and checked the time. "It's almost lunch. Let's find somewhere to eat." Sasuke extended his hand for Naruto to take.

And he takes it.

Naruto stared at the pale hand he just grabbed. He wondered what made him take it without thought. He stares at the hand's owner. It was the first time he saw his employer without a suit on. The teme didn't look half bad in casual clothes. He still held the air of elite and sophistication no matter what kind of clothes you place him. There is another thing he noticed. They haven't moved an inch.

"What's wrong Uchiha-teme?"

"I've never been here before so show me where to eat."

'Was he kidding? The prick really doesn't do anything but go to work then go home. No wonder he's so uptight' the blond thought.

"Come one teme, I know somewhere that serves good food and light on your cheap ass pocket." He dragged Sasuke to the Whitewall Café™.

"Welcome to…Oh! Naruto!" The café waitress stopped her usual greeting as her childhood friend entered her part-time workplace.

"Hi Sakura-chan." He greeted

"Table for two please." Immediately curious by the even number reservation, the strawberry head girl leaned forward to see who was behind her friend.

"Wow!" She gasped. She took a moment to look at the silent man standing at around six feet tall, a perfect complexion with a face that screams 'I could be royalty. "She guided them to a window seat and immediately batted her eyelashes at him.

Sasuke just took the menu and browsed the meals.

"Psst, Naruto, who's that?" She transferred her attention to Naruto for an interrogation in a hushed voice.

"Ugh, my employer" Naruto answered but did not even bother to lower the tone.

"He's gorgeous, does he have a girlfriend? What's his type? He looks rich." She tried to zero in the 20 questions.

"Woah, hey wait, hold on! He's right in front of us, ask him yourself?"

"I can't just do that!" She smacked Naruto lightly on the head but immediately goes back to her polite posture when she noticed that Sasuke was staring.

"Introduce me." She whispered sideways.

"I uh Uchihai-tem-san, this is my friend Sakura."

Saskura tried to give an introduction but Sasuke cuts her off with a no non sense tone.

"Are you going to take our orders?"

Sakura paused, taken back by the indifferent attitude.

"You are here to take them right."

She nodded, pulls out a pen and paper to take their orders and leave. Her confidence deflated.

"You really are a bastard." Naruto commented as he saw the sad disappointed expression the girl carried back to the kitchen.

"Hn" The Uchiha replied as he checked his phone for any messages.

"She was just trying to be friendly, teme."

"She is at work. That is why I don't like these kinds of useless women. Most of them can't separate work and personal life. She may do her personal things during break or after work." Sasuke countered simply as if reading a line from a report paper.

The smaller male stared at the male in front of him. 'This bastard thinks all women are useless! Well considering the fact that he is surrounded by women who acts that way around him; I guess that's valid. But doesn't he get that they're just trying to show him how much they like him?'

He really is thick

Naruto huffed and tried a calmer and direct approach. "She likes you."

Sasuke turned his solid blacks to a pair of never ending shades of blues and smirked. The only positive mood he had displayed all day. So far it was only Naruto that could trigger his amusement and the need to taunt.

"It's so unusual for a wife to push his husband unto other women. Usuratonkachi"

'Scratch that. This Bastard was just plain Sick. That's what he is!'

"That is- I mean. Well I'm not your real spouse. I'm actually encouraging you to think NORMALLY!"

"Real or not I won't ever look at another as long as you are my WIFE." Naruto stilled. Whether the Uchiha meant it as a joke or not, his heart though he didn't' know why skipped a beat.

"Haha. So Uchiha-Teme knows how to be a good husband huh?"

Sasuke ignored the comment.

"Here are your orders." Sakura all too cheerfully placed the food in front of them. She lingered a little while to again look at Sasuke then slipped a casual note written on a paper napkin at Naruto before she went to take another costumer's order.

'He's so cool. Make sure you invite him out with us sometime okay (heart)'

Naruto shook his head. Women are really confusing. The more broody the man is the more they get attached to it.

"Do you have anything to wear for dinner dobe?"

"Yeah I do, smart casual right? I left it at your apartment"

"I should have inspected it before we left. No doubt it would look stupid."

"I know how to dress properly teme."

"We should drop somewhere and buy a nice attire."

"NO." the response was strong and final. Naruto's eyes danced with resolve.

"I won't have you buy me unnecessary things. Please." The last word sounded almost beseeching

Sasuke stared. He was a little taken back by the smaller male's response. Usually people he dated will jump at the chance for free stuff but this man didn't want what he offered. He submitted and nodded. He was rewarded by a bright smile.

'Even if his clothes turn out horrible his smile would cover them.' He reasoned to himself.

After Lunch Sasuke continued to take business mails while Naruto catches up with Sakura during her break. She kept on asking why Naruto was having lunch with his employer but Naruto kept his answers as vague as he could. He didn't want any gossip and he learned from pass experiences if you tell Sakura something the whole town would probably know in ten seconds flat.

They left the café at around two before both males decided to stroll a little around town while they waited for the rings to finish.

000 000 000

"What do you think Uchiha-teme?" Naruto stood in front of Sasuke who was killing time watching the news.

He turned to inspect the blonde and was greeted by a very gorgeous one. Naruto was in a slim fitting off white turtleneck accented with a dark gray colored vest above and dark low rider pants that was perfect for his slender legs. The only thing odd about it is the black sneakers with orange laces but then again it describes his 'wife's' character in one look.

"It's fine." Giving away no indication of what he thought earlier. The blonde pouted another trait that Sasuke found likable even if the other was male.

He motioned for Naruto to come closer and presented the finished ring in front of the other. He took the ring out from its box and slipped it around the blonde's finger. He didn't miss Naruto blush.

"You have to start calling me Sasuke. For tonight you are also an Uchiha."

"Sasuke" The blond tried out and his face immediately inflamed. Sasuke managed to hide the effect his pretend spouse's voice did to him by teasing him.

"Dobe."

"Stop calling me that! Sasuke-teme! My name is Naruto! NA-RU-TO"

"I'm not calling you that dobe."

"Why not."

Sasuke just smirked "Because I don't want to."

Naruto continued their one-sided argument until they reach the car.

The drive to Sarutobi's residence was around one hour. Everything seemed perfect. They arrived not too early and not too late. The metallic blue BMW X3 was perfect for the uphill road all the way to the overlooking mansion.

Sasuke was greeted by the butler and opens the door for him.

The butler proceeded to open the passenger seat but Sasuke gestured for the man to stop. The young Uchiha walked towards the passenger door and open his wife's door; taking his spouses hand on his own, fully aware of their audience. Yes everything was perfect. They were playing the part right. Nothing could go wrong.

Suddenly the front door opened. Kakashi was the first to come out and greet them.

"So glad you made it." He said mockingly.

"You look so nice Naru-chan." Naruto swallowed hard at the girly nickname.

"How was the trip? It isn't too difficult with my directions right?"

"Oh good evening Uchiha-san" The Old CEO and his wife stood by the door. Sasuke respectfully bowed and greeted back. He grabbed Naruto's hand and tried to introduce him to the couple when Jiraya suddenly arrived.

"OI AM I late? Sorry there was a…GAKI what are you doing here!" he pointed at Naruto, mouth agape.

"Wah! Ero-senin." Naruto shouted equally shocked.

'Oh SHIT'

TBC

Rule no. 5: Good you finally executed your plan. Now are you prepared for all the possible scenarios?