Chapter 4: Not From Around Here

Disclaimer: It's me, ya boy Nick. I own nothin'.


I would never openly say this to Huntress Wizard, but it was pretty apparent magic users on Mewni are way more powerful than the ones on Ooo. Or, at the least, Star and her mom were. It only took some waves of her hand for Moon to rebuild the castle and kingdom. While the King burst forth from the sewers to greet them with open arms, the people fled, or cowered in whispers, pointing at Star.

Star took it pretty hard. She looked on the verge of tears. I wondered if that was how Fern felt, back when he was still the Finn sword, and Bandit Princess used him to commit evil deeds; a helpless instrument of someone else's destruction. As we walked past the scared townsfolk, Marco kept a hand on her back. A small gesture, but one I'm sure she appreciated.

As we entered the castle and approached the throne room, Queen Moon stopped us. "While I am exceedingly grateful to the four of you, I'd like to speak to my daughter alone about everything that happened."

On instinct, we all looked at Star, who gave Marco a small smile and said, "It's cool guys, I'll catch up with you later."

"Right on, I'll show you guys around," Marco replied, turning to us.

As he gave us the grand Mewni tour, it became really clear things on Mewni and Ooo were really different. There was like, one science lab here, and they had no research at all on raising the dead. And while Ooo was crawling with Wizards and Witches, Star's family were really the only magic users around.

They also seemed to eat way more corn.

"You guys have all this corn and you never even made people out of it?" Jake asked. "You could make real life Husker Knights."

"What are Husker Knights?" Marco asked.

Before Jake could go into a whole rant about Card Wars, I flatly answered, "Don't ask."

As we passed a garden window, Huntress Wizard pointed and asked, "Can I sleep out there? Sleeping inside is weird to me. I like feeling the nature on my bod."

I heard Jake mumble, "Or Finn," and I did my best not to turn bright red. She, however, just grinned and shrugged, which made my blushing worse.

Marco watched the whole thing and was stifling a laugh. "I mean, I guess, but don't you stay with these guys a lot?"

"That doesn't count, it's in a tree. Still nature." She replied, matter-of-factly.

Jake opened his mouth to make another jab at me, but I quickly blurted out, "But Marco, where is your room?"

Jake smirked at getting under my skin. Brothers, man.

"Oh yeah, follow me, I'll show you." Marco said excitedly, rushing off down a hallway. We came to the door, and seven super tiny puppies came bursting out.

"Aw! So squish!" I cooed, picking one up and petting it. A laser beam came out of its eye though, stinging my meat arm. "Ow!" I cried, accidentally dropping it into its pile of siblings.

"Yes! More magic dogs!" Jake cheered as the puppies began climbing all over him, "I shall rule over them as a king!"

Huntress Wizard knelt down and pet one behind the ear, "I bet with some training, this one could make a good hunting hound."

Marco laughed. "They're not for sale, but maybe Star could make one for you and Finn."

We spent most of the afternoon playing with the puppies, and we exchanged adventure stories.

"…and then the War Elephant threw me inside Darren's head to stab its brain seed. It was AWESOME!" I explained, before adding, "And then I made the Guac for the Candy Kingdom celebration. I make crazy good guac."

Huntress Wizard and Jake nodded. "I could mow on Finn's guac for days." H.W. said.

"MARCO! MARCO DIAZ!" Came a familiar voice, as Star rounded a corner and barreled toward us.

"Sup?" Marco asked, with a small wave.

"There you guys are!" She sighed, catching her breath. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"…and you didn't start with my room?" He asked, surprised. "We've been here for like an hour."

"I'm their king now," Jake added, pointing to the laser puppies sleeping on his head.

"Awwwww, so cute!" Star said, before snapping back over to Marco. "We forgot Rhombulus and mom is trying to get the Magical High Commission together."

Marco and I inhaled sharply and made nervous eye contact.

"You know what, I totally forgot about that." I admitted, "That one's on me."

"I can't believe we just left him there!" Marco groaned. "That's so dumb of me!"

Marco opened up a portal with dimensional scissors, and I had Jake go in and carry Rhombulus back to the castle.

"You fought this guy with snake hands, and you didn't even tell me?!" Jake exclaimed as he climbed back in. "What the junk, Finn?!"

Huntress Wizard pinched my cheeks as I turned red, "Good job, you exceptional beast, you."

"I can't believe he totally slipped my mind. Your fight with him was so awesome!" Marco said, throwing his hands in the air.

"Thanks. But uh...he's going to be okay, right?" I asked.

"Uhhhhhhh..." Star replied, "I'm sure he'll be fine."

She didn't sound sure.

"He's probably had worse." She added.

"No he hasn't." Replied one of us his hands, making us all jump. Huntress Wizard pointed some arrows at it.

"H-Dubs, no." I said, gently pushing her hands down.

"Just get him to the queen," groaned the other snake hand.

Jake carrying him, Star led us back to the throne room. Waiting for us was the Queen, King, a girl with bright orange hair and a flame over her head, and a weird skull-head guy in a starry orb. He kinda looked like a snow globe I'd find in the Nightosphere.

"Rhombulus!" The skull head exclaimed.

"Oh dang, he got really messed up." The girl answered.

"Yes," sighed Moon. "The creature called the Lich corrupted Rhombulus and turned him against me. The one in blue - Finn - he was able to stop the corruption and defeat Rhombulus."

I waved. "Sup?"

The girl stood. "So you admit to it?"

"To...winning my fight with him?" I asked.

I noticed the Queen was looking rather upset. "Hekapoo..."

I stifled a laugh. It's a funny name, but it didn't seem like a good time to laugh.

Jake and Huntress Wizard laughed though, and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

The flame on her head grew huge. Not really anything compared to Flame Princess.

"Are you laughing at my name during your SENTENCING?!" Hekapoo erupted.

"Sentencing?!" I yelped.

"WHAT?!" Marco yelled.

Star was livid. "Hekapoo, you have to be kidding me! Finn literally saved my Mom and is the reason we were able to beat the Lich."

"Wait, am I like, for reals in trouble right now?" I panicked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some arrows floating around Huntress Wizard's shoulders in anger. "Babe, not now..." I whispered. She noticed they were floating around and put them away.

"Hekapoo, I urge you to reconsider," Queen Moon argued, "Finn has been nothing but a monumental help to myself and the princess."

The skull head sighed. "While I agree, it is considered a high crime to assault a member of the Magical High Commission with murderous intent. And that's a nasty headcrack."

"But I specifically tried NOT to kill him!" I yelled, grabbed the sides my hat in frustration, "The crack was the only thing letting the Lich's influence drain out!"

"Finn has come from Ooo in a selfless effort to protect your kingdom from The Lich!" Huntress Wizard argued, "And your kingdom was in flames when we got here. And where were you?"

"Yeah, we did all the heavy lifting for you!" Jake barked. "Heck, I'M STILL HOLDING RHOMBULUS FOR YOU You should be ashamed!"

"Mom," Star added, "They're right. We don't have time to punish my friends with bureaucratic nonsense!"

"Hekapoo, you're better than this." Marco sighed.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Moon yelled, quieting the room. "High crimes are determined by the Counsel, which, as you can see, with Rhombulus gone, is myself, Hekapoo, and Omnitraxus Prime."

"You could heal Rhombulus and ask him." Star argued, defiantly. "Trust me. Being possessed sucks. I'm sure he'll be glad to be free of The Lich too."

"The spring got damaged while you guys were fighting, so it's going to take weeks for him to heal." Hekapoo argued. "If time is of the essence, then I suggest we punish the human with the Trial of Hekapoo."

"What's that?" I asked, sighing. I couldn't believe this was happening.

"You will be transported to my pocket dimension where time passes more slowly, until you can extinguish the flames of 100 of my clones." Hekapoo explained.

"Wait, what?!" Marco yelled. "That's a CRIMINAL PUNISHMENT? You put me through a criminal punishment over a stupid pair of scissors?!"

Hekapoo shrugged. "I was bored."

"If you're making Finn do something this donkus, I'm going with him." Jake grumbled.

"Me too. Also, I kinda just don't like you." Huntress Wizard added.

"You guys don't have to do that..." I muttered, but they were already standing next to me.

"You can't seriously let her do this mom, this is ridiculous!" Star said, stomping.

The queen shook her head. "I'm sorry, Star. And I'm sorry Finn. But my hands are tied."

"Hecks to you, Hekapoo, I ain't afraid of your trial." I huffed. She took out a pair of the scissors that Marco had been using, and opened an orange portal.

"After you, criminal scum." She said, teasingly.

Jake, Huntress Wizard and I marched into the portal find ourselves in an open field.

"I mean, this isn't too bad." Jake observed, "Nicer than that time we got thrown in Wizard Jail."

Hekapoo appeared before us. "To give you a taste of what you're in store for, I'll start you off on just one clone. The only rule is that you have to blow out the flame on top of my head. Now go!"

Before any of us could move, she took off running at some intense speeds, disappearing about one hundred feet away.

"Nevermind, this is like, real dumb." Jake sighed.

Huntress Wizard's antlers twitched. "Hun, tilt your head to the right, she's coming up behind you."

I did so, just barely avoiding getting dope-slapped on the back of my dome as Hekapoo zipped past me. "Jake, I don't think she knows about your powers."

"Haha, nope!" Jake exclaimed, stretching his arm out, wrapping it around Hekapoo, trapping her, and hoisting her through the air to my mouth.

"Wait what?!" She shrieked as I gently blew out her head flame.

The clone disappeared, and Hekapoo stepped in front of us through another portal, closing it behind her. She clenched her teeth and glared at us.

"Hey, no need to be a hothead." I said with a wink, causing Jake and Huntress Wizard to giggle.

"Fine," she seethed, "That was the warm up. All the clones now."

In the blink of an eye,she had made the other ninety-eight clones of herself. "You'll never catch all of us."

She took out a pair of scissors to cut a portal, but before she could, Huntress Wizard abruptly declared, "Nope," and shot a magic arrow at the pair, knocking them out of her hands.

Hekapoo turned slowly to face Huntress Wizard. "You did NOT just do that."

Hekapoo materialized another pair of scissors, but before she could even start opening a portal, Huntress Wizard knocked them out of her hands with an arrow again, repeating, "Nope."

"You're cheating!" Hekapoo yelled.

"No, you said the only rule was to blow out your flame." H.W. shrugged. "I'm within my - Nope - rights."

The, "Nope," was her knocking yet another pair of scissors out of Hekapoo's hands.

I smiled. "Jake, round 'em up, boiiiiii."

Jake took a deep breath, much to Hekapoo's confusion, but then he shot ninety-nine arms out of his body, each one grabbing a Hekapoo, and held them up in a big cluster above his head before they could get away. Then he took another deep breath, grew his head about fifty times his size, and blew all the flames out at once. All the clones disappeared, leaving the original Hekapoo to fall on her butt in front of us.

"Did...did you just...?" She stuttered out.

"Yup, we beat your trial. Now take us back." Huntress Wizard answered with a smirk.

Wide-eyed, Hekapoo grabbed her discarded scissors, and cut a portal into the air. "Just...just get out."

The three of us walked back into the throne room, laughing.

"Did you forget something?" The queen asked as Hekapoo followed behind us.

"They beat it." She grumbled.

"Already?!" Marco asked in shock.

"Yeah, how long were we gone?" I asked.

"Seven long, merciless seconds." Star replied, sounding like she was enjoying that we were sticking it to Hekapoo as well.

"Yessssss," I pumped my arms in victory. "Oh. I am sorry about your friend though. I didn't really have any alternatives."

"I know." Star said, flatly, "I was there."

"Oh. Right."

"That's enough, all of you," the queen said, though she was smirking too, "I implore all of you; go eat and get some sleep; we have to plan our next moves in the morning."

"Yeah, we fought the Lich twice today, I'm kind of dead tired." Marco agreed, stretching.

"FOOOOOD!" Jake sang, happily cartwheeling out of the throne room.

"We should probably make sure he doesn't bring the castle down again," Huntress Wizard said to me with a smirk.

"Hey, what did your Mom want to talk to you about when you were alone, anyway?' Marco asked Star.

"Oh, just to fill her in on what happened with Meteora and...you know, about being possessed." Star replied.

I could tell her voice fell. I wondered if she was still messed up from what she saw, but was trying not to let it show.

The night went on without any other major incident, other than Hekapoo avoiding eye contact with any of us. I kept an eye on Star though. She seemed alright, but every now and then she'd just stare off into nothing. Marco seemed pretty concerned too.

But once we finished dinner, I felt a tug at my sleeve; it was Huntress Wizard. "What's up, hun?" I asked.

"It's a really nice night," She started, wistfully, "could I convince you to camp out in the garden with me?"

I smirked. "I mean, duh. You don't have to convince me. Of course I will."

She smirked back. "Because we both know you're totally in love with me."

"It was the elk hearts," I teased, "they won me over."

She blushed, "They're an acquired taste!"

We played a weird board game about slides and stairs with Marco and Star after dinner, and then decided to head to bed.

Huntress Wizard - or Artemis, as I call her when it's just me and her - was right, the night was beautiful. From the central garden, we laid on a patch of grass looking directly through a clearing of trees into the starry sky. Even more awesome was that the star's on Mewni were different colors, if you looked closely enough.

"What a day, right?" Artemis asked, rolling to her side and propping herself up on an elbow.

"Tell me about it," I sighed, "Two fights with the Lich, a trial, a new dimension. That's a bonkers amount of stuff, even for us."

"Yeah," she agreed, "How are you holding up?"

"I mean, I'm a little banged up, but -"

She cut me off, "That's not what I mean, Finn. Come on, I know you better than that."

Oh dang. She got me.

"You lost one of your best friends, and a niece," Artemis said, gently rubbing my chest. "And you've buried yourself in work as a distraction. You haven't rested once today."

"That's probably why I'm so pooped," I replied jokingly. But she was right. "I dunno, H Dubs. I always thought Marceline would always be there. I mean, being an ageless vampire demon. I can't really wrap my head around her being gone, not being able to play pranks with her or go to her for advice or whatever. I don't think I told you, either, but Peebs has her ashes in the lab."

"What?" She said, surprised, "That's kinda creepy."

"I mean, she has a decorpsinator serum," I said, "but it only has ever worked on candy people. I'm sure she's trying to find a way to bring her back, you know? But I don't want to ask."

"Why?"

I closed my eyes. "I'm afraid she won't be able to."

I turned and looked at her again, "And I also realized, I've been a bunk uncle. I'm a Bunkle."

Artemis giggled. "I don't think you're a bunkle."

"I never really spent any time with the pups without Jake, though," I sighed. "Or even with Jake. And then I feel bad about feeling bad because I know Jake's doing the same thing I'm doing, just working to cope with everything, but it's like, one million times worse for him. And same for Peebs and Marcy. They're crazy for each other. And if Prubs can't bring her back, I don't know what's going to happen."

"It's a good thing you have me here to worry about you, hun," Artemis said, with one of those sad-time smiles, "because you're always worrying about everyone else. But...that's one of the things I like about you. Whatever happens there is in Bubblegum's hands. And you can't change the past with the puppies. And I know it's weird because they're basically older than you now, but I think maybe all you can do is try and spend more time with the family you do have."

I pulled her close and smiled. "Maybe I should just go live in the woods with you, because you're way smart. You're right, as always, Artemis."

She kissed me. "One of us has to be, right? Besides, first we need to stop the Lich, or this stuff won't matter."

"Right," I yawned, rolling onto my back, eyes shutting.

After a few moments of silence, I heard her again as I was drifting off to sleep, "Hey, Finn?"

"What's up, buttercup?"

"Would you...would you ever consider really living with me?" She asked, quietly.

My eyes shot open, and I rolled back to her. "I...do you want me to?"

She looked to the sky. "I care about you Finn. I know raw elk hearts aren't your thing, but...I gave that to you because you mean a lot to me. I love having you around. So...yeah. I would like that. That's not to say there's nothing wrong with your tree house. But I thought maybe it could be...just...us."

I'd never seen her this red before. It was adorable. I smiled to her. "Let's do it."

She curled up against me. "Awesome. Goodnight, my beau."

"Goodnight, Huntress Wizard." I said, yawning again, and staring up at the sky.

First stop, killing the Lich. Next stop, living with my rad girlfriend. Life sure is weird.

But weird ain't always bad.


Hello! Review if you enjoyed, or provide constructive criticism if not.

This chapter was written completely in Finn's perspective to give his grasp on the foreign land of Mewni. The next chapter will have more back and forth perspective changes.