A thank you to ZiggyMia123 for adding me to your favourite Authors :)
CreativeChica39 : Yup, he's back. i know it's very OOC for him, that actually gets pointed out in this chapter, but you'll see his reasoning behind it and i hope you enjoy :)
Bad Wolf Mcgee: Tell winter to relax, Jacky isn't Fawks' type :P I think Jack's reaoning is simply because, well, Fawks sort of died, he'll come around i'm sure ;) Enjoy
Chapter 4
"I'd much rather be your mechanic." Fawks groaned, rubbing her jaw.
"You wanted a job." Jack said.
"Yeah, but your soldier boy has a bloody good right hook. And I honestly think Ianto broke my nose."
"You did call him queer." Jack smiled, passing Fawks an ice pack. She winced as she put it on her head.
"Being beaten up all day was not my plan for when I got home." She sighed.
"What was the plan?"
"Party, John, Ianto's couch, like it was before." Fawks sighed. Ianto knocked on the office door and peeked around sheepishly.
"I brought biscuits," He said.
"Are you sucking up for the breaking of my nose?" Fawks asked.
"Yes," Ianto said putting the plate of all her chocolate biscuits in front of her.
"Right, well, I'm going to sleep," Fawks yawned, her jaw clicking as she did. She wandered out of the office and slouched down on the couch. Snoring within seconds.
"Fawks,"
"Yes, Jacky, my dear, what is it?" Fawks called down the medical bay.
"Are you going to be ok, today, I mean with John and-" Jacky didn't finish.
"No. I'm not, I've managed to slide in here, without really thinking about him and he's back today. It's going to hurt like hell and I may end up shooting something by the end of the day but, I will be fine." Fawks said. Jacky gave her a sympathetic smile. "Besides, thanks to my new job I can punch Jessica Harrow in the face for a good reason."
"Fawks." Jack warned as he heard what she said. Jacky laughed as Fawks' eyes went wide.
"It was a joke, I was joking." She said, sharing a smile with Jacky before skipping away.
Fawks was sat by Ianto's desk, when the door rolled open, a girlish laugh echoed through the hub.
"Honey. I'm home!" John called. Jessica in his arms. Fawks stomach twisted, no she'd over estimated herself, she couldn't do this, she turned tail and got out of there, as fast as she could.
Fawks was stood under the shower, letting the scorching hot water pour over her. She put her head down and let the water cascade down her neck and across her wings, and that's when she heard it. Footsteps, footsteps she would recognise anywhere in the universe. She got out of the shower and dried herself off quickly. Pulling on her old clothes, normally she wouldn't bother, but she felt very vulnerable around him. She pulled her mask down over her eyes. She didn't look up as the showers door opened.
"Rachel." John said. Fawks didn't even look up, she didn't want to. "Rachel, will you please look at me?" He asked.
"What?" She asked looking up and meeting his eyes. Both hearts thudded painfully.
"We need to talk." He said.
"No. we don't." Fawks shook her head, trying to walk around him. He caught her wrist and twisted her around.
"Listen." He demanded. She snatched her wrists out of his hands. He smelt of Jessica Harrow.
"Get your hands off me," She growled.
"I thought you were dead."
"So you proposed, fantastic logic there," She snapped.
"I love you." John said.
"Fuck off," She growled. That had been a low blow and they both knew it. "If you'd ever loved me you wouldn't have been in my bed with her. If you loved me, you would never even considered marriage. Not even to me your supposed love. Don't even play that card John. You don't love me, you're too in love with your pride for anything else." She snarled. Her hands shaking. She left the showers. But as she was heading back up the stairs she heard running behind her, John grabbed her shoulder and twisted her around.
"I'm stupid, yes, and I'm proud and selfish and no I'm not a good person, I've never admitted I was, that was one of the reasons you love me. Am I right?" Fawks didn't say anything, she was too busy trying to ignore the tingles his hands made on her skin.
"As for Jessica I was doing what you wanted me to. You wanted me to live a happy normal life with her. That's what your final request was. And then you show up on my wedding day, I thought you were a dream I was upset and confused and yes I shouldn't have carried it on but I did and I'm sorry. I should never have started this thing with Jessica, I should have waited for you but I didn't, I was weak and a bastard and it led you to your death, and it hurt."
John choked off. He shook his head and tried again.
"It hurt so much and I just wanted to do what you wanted for me, anything I could do to make up for all the shit and crap I sent your way, but I had to wait until my head was clear and it was all a lot of hard work and by the time we get around to the wedding you show up and throughout the last three weeks all I've been wanting to do was this." He pressed his lips against Fawks'.
And the world melted in a storm of love and hate and loss and pain as she kissed him back. He pushed her back against the wall as she wrapped her fingers in his hair. John groaned quietly pressing himself against her.
Fawks' mind reverted back to how it had been on the night of her 16th birthday, she knew with all certainty, that despite how much she wanted to hate him, and she really did want too, but she knew, there was no choice anymore, there never was, she was always going to be in love with him, then she felt the cold metal of his wedding ring against her skin on her waist. She pushed him back and then did what she would have done when she was still a teenager. She punched him in the face. He recoiled, holding his nose.
"Ok, I may have deserved that," He said, shaking his head.
"No." She whispered. "I love you John, but it hurts too much being around you, just stay away from me, it'll be easier for the both of us."
"So, you've been hid down here all day." Ianto said, walking into the smoky gym. "Hid down here smoking all four of your lungs into cancer." Ianto coughed. Fawks was slouched by the wall, a cigarette in her mouth.
"I'm stressed." She said, as Ianto slid down the wall next to her. "I kissed John." She said, handing Ianto the cigarette as he took a drag. "and then I punched him in the face." Ianto smiled at that.
"I'm still in love with him," She sighed, as Ianto passed her the cigarette.
"Well, that sucks." He said simply. Fawks nodded.
"What you going to do about it?"
"What can I do?" Fawks sighed. Ianto wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Sucks being me," She smiled slightly. Ianto handed her a set of keys.
"What's this?"
"Your new flat, you didn't think me and Jack would just let you wander around the hub, did you?" He smiled. "You would cause for too much trouble. Come on," Ianto said, taking her hand and dragging her up.
"Toes, I love it!" Fawks laughed, looking around the studio flat only ten minutes from the bay. "Look at the view!" Fawks grinned. Looking out the window wall at the back of the flat.
"your amazing, you know that?" Fawks said, turning back to Ianto who was pouring two glasses of red wine.
"Of course I do," He said, passing her a glass. "What are you going to do about John?"
"Stay as far away as possible, try and move on with my life." Fawks sighed.
"And you think will work."
"I know for a fact it won't but, I've lived without him before, I know how to do it, just got to keep myself distracted." Fawks said, taking a gulp of her wine.
"And you're going to do that how?"
"Like this," Fawks said, downing the rest of her wine and plugging her iPod and selecting a song.
"So beat it, just beat it!" Michael Jackson sang, she hopped around the counter and grabbed Ianto's hands.
"Dance with me!" She laughed, Ianto rolled his eyes but danced anyway.
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