Chapter Four: Untitled
AN: You're all just Saints, why can't you just accept Jesus? It would make your life so much more enjoyable; you would never have to worry again!
I don't believe in Jesus because I am not religious – I'm bordering on Atheism in fact. Although I do thank her for calling me a Saint.
Trying to change someone's religion through a story is just rude.
Starpaw said, "I ... I ... " She was so confused! These two cats had asked her to be their mates and what was she supposed to do? They were both handsome and everything, but both had mates! And she loved them both! Firestar was so kind and he obviously liked her a lot. Graystripe was so funny and cool.
I should hope Firestar likes her, seeing as he's her great-grandfather. However I hope he isn't sexually attracted to her … as for Graystripe, he's old enough to be her great-grandfather. How old are they at this point, anyway? Cats don't really live that long.
"Exclamation point!" said Starpaw as she ran into the forest. It was too much! She couldn't choose!
Edited Out: Starpaw said, "!"
HAHAHA! Sorry, couldn't help it.
She ran and ran till her paws hurt. Then she realized she had crossed the border. Oh, no, she thought, ShadowClan will get me!
"What are you doing here?" said Blackstar as he woke up.
Edited Out: "Blackstar waked up." Why is he sleeping in the forest anyway? Is she in their camp? Where are all the other ShadowClan cats? Are they sleeping too?
"I'm sorry!" meowed Starpaw. "I didn't mean to!"
"That's okay," said Blackstar. "No one's perfect."
Where's the killing? I want my gory fight please. Where's my gory fight scene?
Who are you and what you have done with the extremely vindictive Blackstar? Starpaw should be one dead little Mary Sue.
"No, that's not true," said Starpaw, offended. "StarClan is."
"What do you mean?" asked Blackstar.
Edited Out: Weming black tar.
Sorry, what? Weming black tar? Is that "Mewing Blackstar"?
"Well, they give us all help and stuff," said Starpaw. "Without them we would be lust."
If helping people/cats means you're perfect, that must mean a lot of people are perfect. Including me. And Alexsis. And our friend Julie. And all the Hufflepuffs in the world. Also, I believe that if StarClan stopped all the cats from feeling lust, then they must have abandoned the Clans in tears by now. There's quite a bit of lust going around in this story.
No no no. She said that "we would be lust". This means that without Starclan, the cats would all turn into lust. Maybe little balls of lust energy? Lust elementals? Lust filled cats? Oh! The next D&D game you have, get the Dungeon Master to throw in a few lust elementals and see what happens. Maybe give them a mass charm spell? Dammit, now I want to make one of those stat tables for a lust elemental. Starpaw, this is all your fault. As soon as I make my lust elementals I'm going to make a campaign where we trash Thunderclan with them. Sad thing about this is, I don't even know how to make the stat tables. Or if they're even called 'stat tables'. Probably not. :(
"I guess that's true," Blackstar said, "Besides, I didn't really mean that anyway."
"Oh, really, why?" said Starpaw.
"Because you are."
*'WHAT' YOWLED Starpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?"*
Option game time! Alexsis, take it away.
1. "What!" yowled Starpaw as she jumped away from Blackstar. He was trying to snuggle her. "What are you trying to do? Molest me?"
2. "What!" yowled Starpaw. She jumped away because Blackstar was trying to snuggle her. "What are you trying to do? Strap a mole to me?"
3. "What!" yowled Starpaw. She jumped away because Blackstar was trying to snuggle her. "What are you trying to do? Give me moles?"
4. "What!" yowled Starpaw. She jumped away because Blackstar was trying to snuggle her. "What are you trying to do? Strap a mole to me?" Blackstar pouted and put the mole down. It gave a terrified squeak and ran into the forest. Blackstar was left with a now useless pile of tape and an extremely freaked out Starpaw. If someone was trying to strap a mole to me, I'd be freaked out too.
"She – " Blackstar started to explain, but, Starpaw was too quick.
Who's she?
"No," she said. "I don't want another tom after me! I've got enough problems right now anyway!"
"But you're perfect," said Blackstar. "You beat me in battle, so you have to be. "
If I were Blackstar, and someone (especially a kit) beat me in a battle, I wouldn't think they were perfect, I'd rip their throats out. That's what he normally does.
Blackstar, you need to shake the crazy kits hold on you. Don't go into a freakly love spiral thing. If this story ends with Blackstar on a rooftop about to jump, I will never be able to look at a Warriors book the same way ever again.
"NO!" shitted Starpaw. Again she ran into the forest. Tears rolled down her checks and she was crying. "It's too much," she thought. "StarClan help me….!"
Pretty sure she meant "shouted", but who cares? I think this is funnier.
