Hello. If you are looking for a story about how I set a bird kid named Fang free, press one.

Fang: -presses one. repeatedly-

Me: If you are looking for a story where six winged mutants talk to six vampires via MSN, scroll down.

Fang: I resent this.

Me: Oh well. Say it please.

Fang: What's the point? No one reads the disclaimers anyway. I could sit here and talk about how jellybeans take over the world and all elephants become pink, and no one would even care. But, for the sake of the lawyers, she doesn't own anything.

Me: Wow. I think that is the longest, most random phrase you have ever uttered.

Fang: Yeah well…

Me: it's a good thing I'm OCD enough to write all this down…now I can send this to Iggy and Gazzy, and they can call you Mr. Jellybean Von Pinkelephant for the rest of your life!

Fang: Sometimes I really hate you.

Me: Sometimes?

Fang: Well, you did make those really good snickerdoodles last night…

Me: Those were really yummy…

Fang: I think your readers are getting impatient. You should start the story at some point.

Me: Aww, but the sooner I finish the story, the sooner I have to let you go! And we're having so much fun!

Fang: Rephrase—YOU are having so much fun.

Me: Don't you have wrists to slit or something?

Fang: It's the hair isn't it? It's always the hair!

Me: Or maybe it's your weird obsession with black…

Fang: Nobody loves me. –slits wrists-

Me: SEE, you do have wrists to slit!

Fang: I was being metaphorical.

Me: oh whatever. I'm starting the story now, only because you are GETTING ON MY NERVES!!

Fang: Good. Hurry it along.

Me: -glares-


jblack: Rosalie, I will NEVER tell you how to change you sn. it's too much fun watching "psychoticblonde" show up…

psychoticblonde: I resent that.

jblack: I don't. hey, rose, guess what?

psychoticblonde: what mutt?

jblack: ooh, you rhymed! anyway, I have a joke for you.

psychoticblonde: oh sweet baby jesus.

jblack: sweet baby jesus? did you seriously just say that?

psychoticblonde: yes. whats wrong with saying sweet baby jesus?

jblack: well aren't vampires supposed to be all antichrist and all that?

psychoticblonde: oh dear lord. are you honestly that stupid mutt?

jblack: evidently.

psychoticblonde: you know we have nothing against god or heaven. just because we do not practice Christianity does not mean we are jesus haters.

jblack: well…you know what the myths say…crosses and holy water, etc.

psychoticblonde: Jacob black, you are possibly the most mundane person I have ever met.

jblack: mundane? MUNDANE?!

psychoticblonde: yes mundane.

jblack: you are so mean.

psychoticblonde: deal with it.

PianoBoi has logged into existing chat.

jblack: hi Edward.

PianoBoi: Hi Jacob, Rose

psychoticblonde: Edward, Jacob is mocking us.

PianoBoi: Since when does Jacob not mock us?

psychoticblonde: good point.

jblack: ooh, I totally forgot the joke I was gonna tell you!!

psychoticblonde: does it have to do with being blonde?

jblack: yes.

psychoticblonde: then I don't want to hear it.

jblack: please?

psychoticblonde: no.

jblack: pretty please?

psychoticblonde: hell no.

jblack: pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaspleasePLEASE?!

psychoticblonde: NO GODDAMMIT!!!

jblack: I think I annoyed her.

psychoticblonde: really? ya think?

PianoBoi: Just a little bit.

xxmaxridexx has entered existing chat.

xxmaxridexx: hi everybody!

PianoBoi: I think we must have no social lives…since every day for the past four days all I have been able to do is think about getting on the computer and logging into MSN so I can read about the lives of you and your family.

xxmaxridexx: haha, my thoughts exactly! only a little less elaborate.

emocat has entered existing chat.

emocat: hi.

xxmaxridexx: MR JELLYBEAN VON PINKELEPHANT!

emocat: shut up.

jblack: I'll just keep my comments to myself.

emocat: good idea.

xxmaxridexx: so, whats new in the lives of the cullens?

PianoBoi: Nothing much…even as a vampire, Bella managed to trip and fall over the edge of a cliff.

xxmaxridexx: oh my god is she ok?!

PianoBoi: Of course. Do you think I would be here if she wasn't? She managed to scale the side of the mountain, much to the amusement of Emmett.

xxmaxridexx: poor Bella…you know who Emmett reminds me of?

emocat: iggy?

xxmaxridexx: yes, exactly.

PianoBoi: He does?

xxmaxridexx: does Emmett like to make things explode?

PianoBoi: Not that I know of, but he does like to destroy things…namely, precious personal items. That belong to me. Or Jasper…

xxmaxridexx: jasper?

PianoBoi: oh, Alice's husband. remember, from four days ago? alice told you about him briefly? I believe she used the terms, "my hubby," and "chill pill."

psychoticblonde: chill pill is one word you could use for it I guess…

jblack: chill pill? the words that come to mind are "suicidal, freaky, emo…"

PianoBoi: Emo?

jblack: well, he always looks like he's in severe pain, and like he's hiding a gun. one day, he's gonna pull that baby on someone, and we're all going to regret it.

PianoBoi: I'm telling him you said that Jacob.

jblack: have fun. he knows that's what I think. secretly, I think I freak him out too.

PianoBoi: Anyway, back to how Iggy and Emmett are alike. I think maybe they could be. Does Iggy enjoy making sexual innuendos?

xxmaxridexx: he wouldn't dare.

emocat: not while you're around anyway. you should hear the things he tortures me with…

xxmaxridexx: REALLY…

xxmaxridexx has logged out of existing chat to go have a little talk with Iggy…

emocat: later dudes. gotta go save mah brotha.

emocat has logged out of existing chat to go save his brotha.

PianoBoi has logged out of existing chat due to a lack of things entertaining.

psychoticblonde has logged out of existing chat so that she doesn't have to be alone with that smelly mutt.

jblack: I'm bringing sexy back…tee hee.

Justin Timberlake: -appears- DON'T STEAL MY SONG YOU FAG! –disappears-

jblack has logged out of existing chat to wonder if he's mentally stable.


Me: Gah. That was too short. But this is two in one day, so that's a first for me.

Fang: Meh. Since when do I call Iggy "mah brotha?"

Me: I think we have already gone over that when you ask "Since when do I say…" I answer, "because I am the writer and what I say goes."

Fang: What ever major loser.

Me: You got that from camp rock.

Fang: . . .

Fang: So what? Nudge made me watch it with her. It was worse than watching high school musical 1, 2 AND 3 with her. What's worse: six hours of Zac Efron, or two of the Jonas Brothers? I'll go with the second one.

Me: I agree. Anyway, read, review, flames welcome, but I don't really like them…they make me go sadface. :[ Anyway, love to all my pretties who reviewed the last three chappies, you all get cyber cookies! -hands out cyber cookies to all reviewers- Shelberto gets extras, just for being my bestie! Mwah to all!