Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach. I just own Shizuko, Teru, Shunka, and now Kanashim.

4. Get It Over With

The beginning of their walk was relatively quiet. Shizuko didn't mind, it gave her a chance to clear her head. She had no idea what to even begin to plain for. Though having Yachiru around was a major comfort, she could already tell her and the pink headed cutie would get along great. The captain however was a different story. Her stomach was in knots, could she handle all the craziness? She could only hope.

"So!" Yachiru began turning to face Shizuko, "you didn't live with your family, Shizzy?"

"No, I lived in America," Shizuko explained finding Yachiru's name for her cute, "I moved a little over a year ago. They weren't very happy about it to say the least… then the bottom fell out a few months after the move and I didn't hear from them after that…"

"Did you live alone?"

"Yes…"

"Oh no!" Yachiru squealed, "Didn't you get lonely?"

"I-" Shizuko stopped dead in her tracks when her lover's face came into her mind's eye. Sousuke… Would she be able to fair without him? She understood she only got to see him a few days every couple weeks anyway, but he was her crying shoulder. He always answered when she called him. He listened and could calm her down better than anyone. He'd nearly helped to fill the void she felt from the break she and her parents hit. She'd even come to the point where she couldn't tell him no. he practically owned her.

Zaraki stopped as well to look back to check that she was still there. She was frozen in place. The shocked expression on her face made her look lost and completely helpless, "Hey," he spoke, "Are you alright?"

"Sousuke," Shizuko mumbled

"Uh…"

Yachiru tugged on him, "I think you should pick her up, Kenny."

Not sure that was any other choice he hefted Shizuko into his arms and began taking long determined strides home, "we're making a habit out of this aren't we?" he asked rhetorically with an exasperated laugh.

"I'm fine," Shizuko breathed, snapping out of her daze.

"We're here already," he said simply as Yachiru hopped down to get the door. He followed her in and rather roughly placed Shizuko on a pile of large pillows on the floor, "you know you won't be useful anywhere if you can't stay conscious."

"Maybe I just want your hands on me," Shizuko shot sarcastically. She could only take being talked down to from certain people and he wasn't one of them.

He scoffed, "Around here we respect our superiors."

"I'll try and remember that."

"I guess that means you're ready to see how well you fair against me in a fight."

"Well considering I don't have my bag with Kanashim in it, we'd have a hard time now wouldn't we," her voice was cold as ice, why did his rudeness get to her so badly? "Let alone the fact that I have trained with him since I moved."

"Yachiru," he said turning to walk out of the room, leaving her on the floor. She supposed he'd had just about all of he could stand for the moment. However less than a minute later he came back in, "Stand up."

She did, she had no reason to say no.

"Yachiru has gone to retrieve your bag," he growled. He stalked over so they were level as he'd done once before, "I'm going to make something very clear to you… I don't like you and obviously you don't lik-"

"Wait a god damned minute," Shizuko hissed, "you don't even know me. We met yesterday on very unusual terms. And you are just flat out rude. So let me make this clear to you. I don't deserve to be treated as you are so inclined to treating me and I will not take things I don't deserve."

"You earn respect around here," he stated, leaning in closer their noses nearly touching.

"But you automatically get mine?" she gave an exasperated laugh, "I've done nothing wrong here. Is a fair chance so much to ask?"

"A fair chance at what?"

"Your friendship!" she yelled in his face.

He straightened unsure of how to react. It was the first time anyone had ever actually vocalized their interest in anything close to friendship with him. He saw no reason for anyone to want it.

"Why?" he asked skeptically.

Shizuko stood staring at her feet. The last time she'd yelled at someone she earned a slap across the face, "I think we're gonna be stuck together for a while," she sighed softly, "There's no reason to suffer through it… I like Yachiru," she said turning away to pace while she explained, "She was the first to welcome me whereas everyone else that I wasn't related to simply walked by as though I didn't exist. It felt nice… and I'd love to get to know her more." She looked at him now, "And if someone as sweet as her sees something in you that makes her rely on you with all of her being, then it just goes to show you're not nearly as barbaric as you appear."

He thought for a moment she Yachiru did seem to get along great… and she gave an explanation that almost had him feeling guilty for the way he acted, "Fine."

Shizuko felt as though a huge weight had just been lifted off of her shoulders. Closing her eyes she turned back to face him with a smile, "thank you."

"Yeah…" he let it trail off. She was so… he couldn't explain it. She gave him the most bizarre feeling.

"So…" she said, "tell me about you…"

"I live to fight," hr said with a shrug.

"And?"

"That's pretty much it…"

"Oh…"

The drug out silence that lapsed between them gave Shizuko the urge to bite her nails.

"Can I ask you something?" he said finally breaking the silence.

"Sure!" she was very glad he had something he found interesting about her.

"Who's Sousuke?"

Closing her eyes she inhaled deeply. She knew she'd have to face it eventually, so she might as well go ahead and get it over with, "my boyfriend, well now ex I suppose."

"Ah…" he smirked, "so you weren't lonely I see."

Her eyes met his and held, "no… I wasn't"

"Will you miss him?"

"Very much…"

"Sounds like you too were pretty serious."

"We were."

"So does that mean you're…" once more he let his sentence trail.

Knowing what he meant she sighed, "No, I'm not a virgin, though it's none of your business anyway."

"I was curious," he said scratching his chin.

"Well, since you know do you view me any differently?" she had really not wanted him to know of her past romance. Why? He was of no real importance in that area. Perhaps she just didn't want to be looked upon as a whore.

"Not really," he answered, "It doesn't bother me. It's not like I'm a one either. We're both adults and sex is something I think most adults should be able to discuss."

"Oh…" she could feel the blush as it snuck onto her cheeks. She looked to the floor once more.

She heard his slow footsteps as he approached her. She had to suppress the urge to scramble back against the wall. She'd already appeared weak in front of him; she would not embarrass herself further and look scared. He hooked his hand under her chin and lifted her face. Their eyes met. He felt something inside of him move. Just seeing her with reddened cheeks gave him an almost arousing pleasure. From the look in her eye he wasn't alone in the unusual feelings.

"Let's just get this over with…" he said with a rough voice.

He leaned down and fiercely caught her lips. Her mind exploded in pleasure. This wasn't the same as kissing Sousuke. The captain had so much more raw passion; he seemed so much more into it whereas she felt Sousuke just appeared calculative. Closing her eyes she allowed herself to enjoy. A whimper escaped her mouth, when he bit her bottom lip. Slowly she twined her arms around his neck and allowed him entrance to her mouth. Their tongues met and colors danced on the back of her eyelids. He was amazing.

She felt so small to him as he ran his hands down her sides. She was so fragile he feared could break her with slightest touch. She was so unlike the other women he'd been with. He would have very nearly sworn that was her first kiss. Though he knew she was no where near innocent the whimper she'd given sounded so helpless, it gave him an urge to lock her away from the world so no one could touch her. Her mouth was so sweet he felt nearly barbaric infiltrating it the way he did. His tongue explored her mouth, memorizing it. Everything about her seemed hesitant. How exactly had this boyfriend of hers treated her? And more importantly why did it matter to him?

Finally he forced himself to pull away, it was broad daylight and Yachiru was due back at any moment. He looked down at the young body that mesmerized him. Shizuko face was flushed and her breathing heavy, it was perhaps the most erotic thing he'd ever witnessed. It hit him then that he didn't know if he could handle being the one to test her… he might injure her… or worse. He couldn't think about it. He'd simply hold back and be gentle, then tell the Commander she'd fend well in his division. What?! I can't hold back! What in the hell is this woman doing to me? He berated himself mentally. No. I will test her, if she can hold her own against me I'll report it and get her in 11. If she doesn't do so well I'll say she needs work and allow the Commander to decide from there.

"What's going on?" Yachiru chirped from the door way.

Zaraki turned immediately to face her. The little girl's eyes were fixed on Shizuko, full of worry.

"We were just talking," Shizuko sighed running a hand through her hair. She figured she'd be more convincing. She walked over to Yachiru and took the bag from her shoulder, "thank you, I'm going to need Kanashim if I want to do well."

"Kanashim?" the pink haired girl inquired.

"This is Kanashim," Shizuko explained as she pulled what looked be sheathed dagger out of the bag.

"It's not very impressive," Yachiru said matter-of-factly.

"Well…" Shizuko unsheathed the blade and took the handle in both hands. She twisted slightly separating into two daggers appearing to be connected at the end. Looking from Zaraki to Yachiru she smirked, "both of you step back." When they did, she grasped the weapon in the center with her right hand and then with a flick of the wrist the daggers shot out on a three foot chain in each direction.

"Hm…" Zaraki thought aloud, "A double-ended rope dart. They're pretty tough to control I hear."

"Well," Shizuko shrugged, "looks like you'll get to see for yourself… Do you think I could maybe have a few minutes alone with him?"

Yachiru knew she wasn't referring to the Captain, but still looked to him. Zaraki's face was unreadable. What happened? Kenny's acting funny… she had to figure it out, perhaps she could bug it out of him, and then Shizuko could get her alone time as well.

"Yeah!" she giggled, "head on out back!" it's right through the door at the end of the hall."

"Thank you," Shizuko replied and exited in the direction she'd been told.

Yachiru turned to her Captain, "Kenny, what did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" he grumbled as he walked into his room. He thought he might lie down while Shizuko had her requested 'Kanashim Time'.

"well, I walked in on you leaning over a very scared looking girl," She began as she followed him, "then she asks for a little time alone with her Zanpakuto and you decide you wan to go pout."

Offended he spun to face her, "I'm not pouting and as she said we were just talking."

Yachiru crossed her arms, "Kenny, often do you honestly 'just talk to people'?"

He groaned, "Don't you have paper work to do?"



Shizuko sat in the grass wielding Kanashim in her lap. She let memories from her past flood her mind, from her first conversation with her Zanpakuto to the last. In that instant she realized just how much he meant to her and she'd been so cruel at their last meeting. Now all seemed lost. Every time she called he didn't as much as whisper and answer.

'Kanashim…'

Still nothing. Her heart broke. What was she to do? She had so much on her plate and now she couldn't pick up her only utensil to even begin to clear it. Not only that, but her oldest friend was gone as well. Never did she dream that she could hurt him so badly that he wouldn't forgive her, but apparently she was wrong. At a loss she simply crumbled onto the ground, aching.

'I'm sorry…' she thought as she sobbed, 'I'm so sorry…'

'Shizuko,' a bass voice spoke out in an almost irritated tone.

Her head shot up, cause her dark lenses to slip down her face. A pale hand expertly covered her exposed eyes as the other reached out and caught the much needed glasses. The figure to which the hands belong stood blocking the sunlight (incase she didn't have her eyes closed) before patiently uncovering her eyes and placing the glasses back on her face. Shizuko found herself staring into the familiar red eyes of the dear friend she'd missed. To any other person those eyes might have been murderous, but to her they were complete comfort. Her heart felt as though it had exploded from happiness.

'Kanashim!'

'Now Shizuko, you must be careful.'

'I know, I know. But that doesn't matter right now! I'm sorry! I'm so sor-'

'So you've been repeating almost half of an hour.' The 5'11" man sat back on his heels to look her in the face. His pitch black hair was draped over one shoulder. Crossing his arms he examined her. She wasn't the same free spirit she once was. That year away had changed her for the bad he believed, but he supposed he'd find out for sure in just a bit. 'I know you're sorry, but you can't be as sorry as I am. Look at you. Where's that fire in those eyes? It was fading when I last saw you, but now it seems to be gone.'

She cast her eyes down; she knew everything he said was nothing but the truth. However her heated chat with Zaraki had her urge for a good fight simmering all she needed was a good pep-talk to get it boiling, 'help me get it back. I want it, but I can't do it alone. I need you…'

'Lady Shizuko, I will always be here for you… do you remember anything?'

She smirked her body was tingling with anticipation, 'you bet your ass.'

'Call your Captain; we'll give him a show.' He disappeared.

Nodding Shizuko stood with Kanashim in hand, "Oh Captain! Let's do this!"



I want to say thank you to Page-Mistress, Bilbo, and ALREADY NINJA for the reviews! I love knowing how people like the story line or my characters!!

-Fallon-