:P Chapter 5! Haha this time it's...

Kurotsuchi Mayuri- The creepy cell thing

As usual Mayuri was in his lab, doing the weird stuff scientists do. His lab was just like how it was supposed to be, well minus the heart shaped picture of Urahara.

However, there was another thing wrong with Mayuri's lab and it was actually a pretty big thing. He being the retard he is, decided that he wanted to create the biggest one celled organism in the world.

In science we usually learn that the largest one celled organisms can barely be seen by the human eye, but not in this case. The night before Mayuri had gotten as many cells as he could, and he shocked them all together.

As a result all the nuclei and stuff merged together to form one huge cell. Mayuri had been extremely happy with his creation and he then gave it one huge shock to bring it to life. The result was just oh so disgusting and just plain strange. Mayuri's one celled creation blew up and spread all over the lab.

Disgusted Mayuri left the lab for the night, but he really should not have. If you make a mess you should clean it up right away or it will try to eat you. Well, something along those lines anyway.

Anyway, Mayuri was in his lab that morning and he was surprised to see that the mess he had created the day before was gone. He shrugged it off and guessed that Nemu had done it the day before.

No, bad scientist, never ever guess. Well, he probably learned this after this incident, but I digress. So the day went on normally, and Mayuri began some new research that had to do with regeneration in hollows.

By mid after noon Byakuya walked into Mayuri's lab looking very pissed. It might have had something to do with the bandage on his head, which totally messed up his perfect hair.

Mayuri ignored him completely until Byakuya gave him one of his super awesome Uchiha-like evil glares. Sighing Mayuri stepped away from his research and looked over Byakuya coolly.

"What brings you here?" he asked absently, not really caring. Byakuya narrowed his eyes and then said, "Your experiment attacked by house and ate my hair."

For a second Mayuri's face split into a grin but then he calmed himself and said, "Why do you assume it was my experiment?" Byakuya scoffed and then said, "You are the only one stupid enough to create a pink living glob."

Mayuri glared at him and then said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I did not create a pink living g-" He stopped when he remembered the large one celled thing he had made the day before.

"Nemu, did you clean the lab up yesterday?" She walked past Byakuya, who looked rather pissed for being ignored, and said, "No Mayuri-sama."

Mayuri frowned and then walked clumsily to his all knowing computer and on google he searched 'pink living glob'. Just kidding.

He actually searched up the probability of his one celled organism being alive and being able to cause damage. Configuring...Probability= 99.99999%. Shaking his head Mayuri walked out of the room and when he was at the door he said, "Nemu, get something to destroy the problem."

Mayuri walked outside to get some fresh air and to clear his head. When he got outside he closed his eyes and let out a very deep breath.

However, when he opened his eyes while he was inhaling he nearly choked to death when he saw giant pink globs all over the place. He looked at the scene in shock but then twitched when one of the globs jumped on him and began eating his clothing.

After looking at it for a moment he chuckled and tried to get it off him. But no matter how hard he pulled at the glob it stuck to his hand like that nasty construction glue.

Trying not to freak out he drew his funky looking zanpacto and stabbed the blob with it. At first nothing happened but then the blob partially detached itself and let out a horrible shrieking noise.

All of a sudden a ton of other pink blobs attached themselves on Mayuri and also began letting out shrieking noises. More and more of them were coming at him and Mayuri seriously regretted trying this experiment in the first place.

Meanwhile, back at the lab Nemu got a spray that could kill the pink blobs. While waiting Byakuya looked on the computer screen which now read 'Probability of blobs being able to kill- 1000000%' Byakuya was very temped to mutter 'damn that's screwed up.'

Nemu walked out of the room to go look for Mayuri, who had been gone for quite a while. When she walked outside she was very surprised to see a giant pink blob with Mayuri inside.

He made a muffled scream for help and the immediately sprayed her anti-blob spray. They instantly popped and turned into soap bubbles. Yes, soap bubbles.

When the soap bubbles finally flew away Nemu tried not to laugh at Mayuri when she saw him. By the way, she had learned to laugh from Uryuu, the little creep.

Mayuri did not have a single hair on his body, not even on his head and most of his clothing was eaten. Also, his skin was all green, making him look like a freakish alien. Nemu then quickly got a towel and gave it to Mayuri, who looked sooooo pissed.

That evening Mayuri sent Nemu outside because he was getting tired of hearing her try to hide her giggles, which she should be incapable of doing in the first place. Cursing Uryuu quietly, Mayuri got up and looked in the mirror.

He sighed, after all that trouble of growing his hair out and dying it purple he was bald. Now he needed a wig, but what was he going to do about his bright green skin?

He closed his eyes, yawned, and then turned off the light. When he opened his eyes he was confused to see the light was still on. Wait, but he turned it off. He looked down on himself and frowned.

He was glowing. That made him like a glow in the dark bracelet. Damn that stupid pink blob. This was just such a pain in the ass. He would definitely never guess again, or make large single celled organisms for that matter.

Grumbling he got himself one of those night eye cover things and went to bed. He slipped the night thing on and he almost swore when he realized his eyes glowed too. He groaned and got up.

Then he walked to his bathroom and took out a needle with sleeping chemicals in it. When he sat down on his bed again he injected himself with the needle and instantly fell asleep.

The next day Mayuri woke up and began thinking of how he was going to live his life glowing in the dark, but then he nearly had a heart attack when he saw he was no longer green but purple.

Then he reacted in the same way we all probably would and fainted. Some time later Mayuri woke up again and cautiously looked at himself, only to faint again when he saw he didn't have a colour, he was invisible.

But not completely invisible, only his skin was unseen, meaning you could see all his blood vessels and organs quite easily.

By now it was evening and Mayuri woke up. Steeling his resolve that he would not faint he looked at himself. He saw he was a light pink colour, his regular skin colour.

Getting up cautiously he checked to see if this was real or not. When he was completely certain he was back to normal he got dressed and went to his lab, his squad was waiting for him.

When he walked in confidently he received many stares, but he was used to that because of his outrageous outfit. The first thing he did was get his people to synthesize him new hair and transplant it on immediately. When that was all done he sat down by his computer and let out a relaxed sigh.

Finally, everything was back to normal. Then he got Byakuya some new hair and after he got his hair transplant for his bald spot he decided to get back to his research. However, when he began to type into his computer he looked down on his hands and then freaked.

Where was it? His... his... precious! Where on earth was his super long black middle finger nail! Mayuri got up from his chair and into the air he painfully screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Reviews? Next update is in a couple of days!