CHAPTER 3 - LAST ATTEMPTS

"If I'm so darned young and irresponsible how come I've been left down here by myself to do all the maintenance and all the cross checks then." Alan muttered discontently to himself as he still sat in the cockpit of Thunderbird 3. It was nearly 1.00am in the morning and he was tired. Everyone else had gone upstairs when they had returned to the base, John was going to report in to their Father ("lucky him" - Alan scoffed under his breath) and Scott indicated that he was heading to bed.

It was ludicrous to Alan that his Father did not consider him competent enough to fly this baby alone yet when it came to ensuring the Thunderbird was ready for action at all times he was suddenly more than capable of that. As he checked and rechecked the electronics he sighed. Tin -Tin had been waiting up for him but he guessed by now she would have gone to bed.

He had been looking forward to seeing her again on his return, running his hands through that black silk hair of hers, smelling that delicious scent that she always wore. If nothing else, it would have been a welcome distraction from what had happened tonight over Dinner with his Father and the hauling over the coals that Scott had given him in Thunderbird 3.

Alan respected Scott as much as he respected his Father - or should he say - used to respect his Father. When Scott gave advice, Alan usually took it, even if sometimes it was after the fact and he had gotten himself into hot water again by not listening in the first place. As usual tonight was one of those occasions. Alan knew deep down he should have kept quiet over Dinner as Scott had warned him, but Virgil had baited him. He felt foolish enough at how he had behaved with those ladies giving birth without Virgil making him feel worse and he just simply could not keep his tongue in check. Alan cursed himself for being so stupid.

Not only did Alan hold Scott in the highest regard but it was also to him that he turned if there was a problem and his big brother had always given him good advice. Alan felt his Father had little regard for his feelings, dismissing his problems as always self-caused, which unfortunately nine times out of ten, they were.

He had a big problem at the moment - and it wasn't self-caused either. He didn't know what to do about where he and Tin-Tin were heading. He had never been in love before and he didn't really know if that was what it actually was. He had only ever had one female to relate to in his life and that was his Grandmother Josie. His "Grandma" had always been there and he knew she had a soft spot for him which he played on quite often, even now, to get his way. The love he felt for her was what he was sure he would have felt for his mother Lucy if she hadn't have died. But what he was feeling for Tin-Tin was not love like you feel for a Mother.

This was one matter that he knew he could only talk to his Father about - and he wouldn't talk to his Father after last year about anything private.

He desperately wanted to discuss how he felt with Scott before things went any further with Tin-Tin but Scott was still his brother and there was nothing Scott loved more than to pay out on him. Alan didn't know if he could trust him with a matter which was so close to the core of his heart and he had a very fragile heart behind all the bravado and the swaggering about that he did. He kept a lot of private sadness to himself especially the guilt he felt about his Mother dying and the hardship it had caused his Father and brothers. Since last year he had watched his brothers and whilst he was grateful that they avoided speaking about what had happened between him and his Father it worried him that they now blamed him too or maybe they always had.

"Penny for your thoughts" came a voice behind him that made him jump with fright. Alan jerked his head towards the elevator shaft. There she was - dressed in her gown, hair tumbling down her shoulders, lips ruby red - Tin-Tin. He let out his breath, his eyes not leaving her.

"Tin-Tin you scared the living daylights out of me." he exclaimed.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked. "I was getting lonesome waiting upstairs for you to finish up down here."

Alan immediately assumed his "joke-about" manner which he knew was the safest thing to do with her dressed like that.

"Come in if you dare but remember it's 1.00 am and its technically my birthday and I want to unwrap that present you promised me I was getting."

"Alan!!! You're terrible." she giggled coming to stand close to the console.

He tugged playfully at the tie of her robe. "Come on then" he teased and she squealed with dismay as the robe fell open revealing her to be clad in little else but an extremely short nightdress.

"Alan don't!!" she cried quickly adjusting her garments, her face scarlet.

He swung his arms about her waist and gathered her onto his lap and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. "I'm sorry honey". he apologised. "I didn't mean to do that."

The two of them looked at each other again. Tin-Tin wasn't so sure if he mean't to do it or not.

Alan for his part hadn't needed that robe to fall open, especially the way he had been feeling about her. It crossed his mind to suggest that they continued this "discussion" upstairs but Tin-Tin was his friend and well...... he didn't know if he actually loved her or what the hell he was feeling for her right now.Best not to say anything.

Tin-Tin didn't know how she felt now either. Whilst feeling acute embarassment at the incident, something inside her resisted the urge to hurry upstairs to the security of her bedroom. Being here with him now seemed so right. Maybe ....

"Happy birthday Alan" she said softly and slowly kissed his lips. Alan could feel his blood pressure rising and broke the kiss off before he lost his demeanor all together.

"What's wrong???" she asked in surprise. He changed his tone to his professional International Rescue voice.

"I've got things to do besides kiss those pretty lips of yours for the next half hour" he said gruffly. "Good night and stop distracting me from my work".

"Good night Alan. "she said her eyes shining. "I'm sure you will have a wonderful birthday"

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Scott gratefully sipped the whiskey that his brother had mixed for him and brought up to his room. Tired as he felt, he needed to relax and get his head around everything a bit, and his brother had as usual sensed it and come to the rescue. He sat on his bed leaning against the bedhead talking to that brother now.

It was never hard talking to Virgil. He was his rescue anchor - reliable, steadfast, level-headed , intuitive and gifted. However, he also looked exactly like their mother and with everything that had so far happened today it was a little difficult to look at him without feeling just a small degree of sadness.

Virgil for his part looked at Scott with worry. Virgil was nearly three years younger than Scott, two years older than John, and three more different brothers there would never be. Virgil had idolised Scott his whole life, the two of them getting into all sorts of scrapes together and with Scott seemingly able to get them out of trouble on each and every occasion, it was not unusual that they shared an extremely close and special bond.

"You know Grandma will kill us for drinking at this time of night don't you" Scott said sounding like a naughty schoolboy."

Virgil laughed and sipped his own drink watching Scott, grateful that he seemed to be finally starting to relax.

"Yeah I know but I think I'll risk the lecture to make sure you're all right."

Scott looked directly at him and at that moment the dark blue eyes of Jeff Tracy met the soft brown eyes of Lucille.

"Why wouldn't I be all right Virg?" he asked.

"Because you are you and it's been 20 years since Mum died.", he said with great sensitivity.

They both looked away from each other. Scott could only murmur "mmm".

Scott was grateful for Virgil. He was so like their Mother not just in looks but in his ways. He had the same mannerisms, gentle voice, concern for feelings, love of life and artistic talent. Even though Scott missed his mother dreadfully he took a lot of comfort in the fact that whenever Virgil played the piano in the evenings or painted out on the balcony as she had done, he felt that a little bit of her had stayed behind in Virgil for him still to love.

Virgil himself grew silent as he too contemplated the fact that it had been 20 years since his mother had died. He had been five at the time and remembered everything about that day and sadly the time that followed. He'd spoken to his Grandmother a little over the years about what had happened and how he felt about losing his Mother but she was worried at bringing the subject up and always ended the conversation quickly. He'd have liked to talk about it with his Father and with Scott but his Father was too devastated and too busy and Scott - well Scott just tried to be brave and didn't want to talk. Instead Virgil was left to express himself in his music, writing songs for his mother, painting pictures of her which he kept in the storeroom so as not to upset anyone. He had quite a few beautiful canvasses just sitting gathering dust down there.

Virgil finally spoke first.

"So what are we going to do if things go wrong again with Dad and Alan?"

Scott dropped his head onto the pillow and rubbed his eyes. He needed to sleep - his body craved it - and now with the Scotch willing him into slumber, he did not reply.

"Scott?"

Scott opened his eyes again - he might be tired - but there it was - the responsibility calling him again. One of his brothers needed him and he answered. It was the way it had been for 20 years.

"Virg - all I can do is pick up the pieces again I guess. Let's face it we know it's going to happen. On one hand you've got Dad upstairs wide awake winding himself up like a spring, and on the other you've got Alan who has been building himself up to take offence at absolutely anything Dad says to him. Then I've got to deal with Johnny who is a wreck at the thought of another argument, Grandma who had all that worry about finding Alan last year and if that's not enough - there's the risk Gordo will open his mouth with some half smart remark that Dad will take offence to. Then there's you."

Virgil knew what he meant by the emphasis on "you". He'd had been feeling more than just a little guilty about the comment he had made over Dinner which seemed to have started all the fuss for both Alan and his Father. He'd only wanted to have a little bit of fun at the kid's expense!!!. Everyone just seemed to get so touchy on March 11. It never changed.

"You don't have to worry after me Scott." he said "I'm OK. Tactless but OK. You just worry about yourself for once."

Virgil rose from the bed taking Scott's now empty glass from his sideboard. As he went to leave the room he heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

"Hello Virgil."

"No guesses where you've been" he smirked. "Is that kid still down there?"

"Yes - doing checks takes time. Anyway good night Virgil."

"Good night Tin-Tin".

Virgil closed the door and went downstairs with the glasses. Scott sat up again and re-opened the door, walking past his Father's room where the light was still burning, down the corridor and stopping in front of the door that was the entrance to Tin-Tin's bedroom. He tapped on the door.

Tin-Tin sat inside on her bed and felt her eyes grow wide with fright. She was still trying to comprehend how she felt about what had just happened down stairs. Surely it wouldn't be Alan. Her Father would be most displeased if he found her entertaining Alan in her bedroom at this time of night.

She opened the door and was dumb-founded at seeing not Alan, but his eldest brother, standing in the hallway.

"What is it Scott? It's very late" she asked, for once relieved that it wasn't Alan.

"I know and we're both tired Tin-Tin, but I need to talk to you" he said apologetically.

"Shall we go downstairs?" she asked. "I don't think my Father would well .. approve of me letting you in".

Scott was a bit taken back. Surely Kyrano trusted him. But then he looked at the beautiful young woman dressed only in her robe and could understand why he would worry about that in a house full of men.

"Sure." he nodded and she followed him down to the lower level of the Tracy villa.

"Do you want some coffee?" she asked turning on the machine.

Scott nodded. He probably would have preferred another Scotch but then ... maybe not.

Once the coffee had been made she set down one cup on the table in front of Scott and sat down quietly facing him with her own cup in her hand. They sipped the coffee in silence. After a while Tin-Tin asked what he wanted to talk to her about. Scott reddened a little and ummed and ahhed without saying much. She looked at him with interest.

"What are you trying to talk to me about Scott? It seems to be worrying you at having to say it."

Scott looked embarrassed. Just how did he put this? He had to be careful as he knew she would probably tell Alan about it and then all hell would break lose.

Tin-Tin continued to fix an expectant gaze on Scott.

"Scott. You know you can say anything to me." she said softly as if trying to coax a bird to eat out of her hand.

He took her hand and squeezed it. "I know I can honey ".

"So just say what's on your mind then".

He took a deep breath. All right then, she'd asked him!!!

"Tin-Tin.." he began, "It's about Alan".

She lowered her head. She knew that Scott watched out for Alan and had expected before long Scott would assume the role of concerned big brother and interfere somehow.

"What about Alan?" she asked in a tired voice. "We're friends." she paused and frowned a little. She wasn't quite sure if they were becoming much more than that after what had just happened.

"I know you're friends. You two have always been friends." he said nervously.

Tin-Tin didn't understand what the point of all of this was.

"That's all right isn't it?" she asked.

"Sure it is."

He rubbed the back of his neck and finally blurted outright, " Oh heck Tin-Tin I don't know any other way to say this other than just ask you. Are you and my brother - together?"

Tin-Tin's hand flew to her mouth. What did Scott mean - together. Did he think that she and Alan were....??

She stood up visibly worried, wrapping her arms around her body as if trying to shield herself from something bad.

"Scott - no - Alan and I aren't like that."

Scott realised what she thought he had meant. He stood up as well.

"Tin-Tin it's OK. I just meant ... are you more than friends?"

Tin-Tin shrugged admitting that she didn't think they were very much more than that, despite what she was was feeling. They had certainly not entered the "together" stage!!! Alan joked about a lot and whilst she knew that some of things he said were uttered in a mischievious, suggestive way, most of it was just teasing. She had always been teased by Alan. He loved to see her uncomfortable.

But then - he had never kissed her like he had tonight - never held her quite so long - never looked that deeply into her eyes. Never pulled back like he just had.

"Why do you ask me?" she enquired.

"Oh - It's nothing. Just a bit of self-preservation." Scott said moving towards the door and turning off the light. "Good night Tin-Tin and thanks."

Scott went to bed and lay in bed restless now - doubt still on his mind. He, like John, suspected that they were much more than friends even if their relationship was still innocent. Unfortunately unless the two of them admitted it to themselves and each other, he would have to continue to shoulder the responsibility of Alan's emotions tomorrow. As he fell into a fitful slumber he dreamed of how life could have been - would have been - if his mother hadn't have had all that trouble as she laboured to give birth to Alan.

***********************Next Chapter - Reliving the Nightmare *****************************************