This chapter was inspired by the song In My Viens -Andrew Belle

Chapter Four/ Struggle

(Sam's point of view)

Everything is dark

And it's more than you can take

But you catch a glimpse of sunlight

Shinning,

Shinning down on your face

The rest of the day was kinda a blur, I stayed home with Freddie and endured the silence. The realization that someone wanted my best friend's dead hit me like a ton of bricks, I felt like my life was spiraling downward. First, my best friend's get killed in a motor vehicle accident, I'm left their companies, their assets, and most importantly; their daughter, then after we were made to believe it was a freak accident, they tell us differently. They tell us that it was a murder; manslaughter.

I've spent all of life with Carly. I grew up with her, she was my best friend. She was my sister. She was family -my only one most times.

It's hard.

It's hard to let go. I still find myself urging to text her, call her, find her. But I can't when I'm constantly reminded that she's dead. What more proof is there? I face her death everyday. I walk into her house, where I sleep in her bed, work in her office, cook in her kitchen. I look into the eye's of her daughter and find myself looking at an exact replica of a mix between Carly and Adam. Their little princess.

Not mine.

Freddie tells me this pain is going to eventually go away, that I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel one day... and what I want more than anything in the world, is to believe him. But the pain is sometimes too hard, and hurts so much that I fear I will never see the light.

"Sam come to bed." Freddie whispered behind me. I turned around and stared at him for a moment; taking him in. He stood in the door frame of the kitchen, leaning against the side. If I guessed, I'd say he was there for a while.

I nodded and stood up wrapping the blanket more tightly around myself. Freddie approached me and gave me a protective embrace. His arms warped around my petite body making me feel tiny in them. I couldn't help but enjoy his the company of his arms. They were strong, protective, warm... I never wanted to leave. "We'll figure this out Sam, we will... I promise." He continued.

I nod once more, not in the mood to say anything and look up at him, he releases his gentle hold on me and I don't want him to. "Is Emma asleep?" I ask. He nods. "I put her make shift crib in your room. She's asleep so you have to be quiet when you get in there."

"Kay." The word was barely a whisper. He walked me to the guest room I was currently living in and stopped in the door frame... what is with him and door frames anyway?

I turned around once I noticed his stop and frowned. "You're not coming in?" I ask. Freddie looks at me with deep concern. "You want me to?"

I nod without saying anything else and slid into the bed, dropping the warm blanket on the floor behind me. Freddie made his way to the other side of the room where the sofa chair was, and made himself comfortable.

I sighed and reach over to turn the bedside lamp off.

Lights out.

...

I was running. The halls were white and had various signs on them and I read each one as I ran: exit, caution, in case of emergency... I didn't understand how I read them so quickly as I passed them. But I didn't question it. Something told me I was running out of time.

Suddenly... there was a person... dressed in scrubs. I found I couldn't stop running so I turned my head towards them as I passed. The person didn't bother to return the favor.

I frowned and continued running. Then there was another, and another shortly behind it. Suddenly before I could comprehend the whole hallway was filled with these people in scrubs, it was almost like a traffic jam. It came to a point where it was exhausting to pass them, I had to dodge them, shove them, push through them to get to my destination.

Then I realized. I didn't know my destination... did I even have one? But I couldn't stop, my legs didn't allow me to stop and once again I didn't question it. Strangely enough the hallway resembled one of a hospital and once I came to terms with this, the number of the people in scrubs decreased... and became less and less until I saw something in the distance.

Two stretchers, and doctors. They were yelling codes at each other and medical terms I couldn't comprehend, but it didn't take a genius to understand what was going on. As I approached them the noises got louder and louder. Screaming, machines noises, yelling... and it didn't stop.

My feet started to slow down and they stopped right in front of the stretchers. One was covered with a white sheet and the other lay Carly. Doctors were frantically injecting her with fluids and medical equipment around her, making my view of her hard to see. But I saw red. And lots of it.

If Carly was on this one... than the person on the other stretcher is... Adam. "Adam!" I screaming realizing the true reason behind the white sheet over his gurney. "Adam!" I scream again, this time louder hoping he'll hear me.

He doesn't. He's dead, he's gone.

"This can't be happening, this can't be happening." I repeat to myself. But the more I say it, the more real the situation becomes, and suddenly the doctors start screaming. "Heart rate falling! I need a crash kart!" My head snaps to Carly and tears begin falling down my face. "Carly?" I ask in my normal tone.

Then I begin to panic. I try to shove between the doctors to take a good look at her, to make sure this is real, that this is happening... but they don't let me. "Carly!" I shout one again, in desperate edge for a response... anything...

"Carly!" This time I try jumping, maybe I can get a clear view, above the doctors. But I don't. Suddenly they start to move away from me. So I run to catch up in the direction I came from. "Carly!" I scream after them.

I try to catch up and do, but before I can even take a look they burst though these hospital double doors... funny. I don't remember any doors... I let them go in first and the doors swing back and forth on their hinges. It was my turn. I pushed against the doors hoping to continue following them, but what I find behind them is nothing. Black, nothing.

Beyond the doors the hallway disappears and there is no trace of them at all. My heart races and I begin to lose it. "Carly!" I scream.

...

"CARLY!"

Suddenly I felt someone grab my shoulder and I quickly jumped awake and grabbed it, almost twisting in to it's breaking point. My heart raced violently in my chest. "Gahh!" I turned around and met my attacker in the eye. But when I realized my attacker was Freddie, I immediately let go and words aimlessly poured out of my mouth in anger.

"God damn it Freddie!" I cursed in a hushed tone remembering Emma was sleeping in the same room. Freddie clutched his hand and tightened his muscles in pain. "What'd you do that for?" He asked through his gritted teeth, as he arched back his head and continued to gasp in pain.

"You could've broken my hand!" He cried. I sat up and rolled my eyes at him. "I was having a nightmare! You know better than to grab me when on the edge Benson!"

Freddie nodded. "I do now." He winced.

(Third Person POV)

A small smile appeared on Sam's face as she saw him shaking his hand back and forth slowly making sure nothing was bend in an awkward position or anything. Freddie noticed this and dropped his hand to his lap. "What's so funny Puckett?"

Sam shrugged as she tried to hide her smile away from him, but failed. Freddie frowned and asked once more. "Seriously Sam, whats so funny?"

Sam shook her head and continued. "I-I was just thinking, h-how I a-am just lucky to h-have you Freddork." She struggled.

Freddie rolled his eye in a playful matter and gave in a tiny smile. "After all these years, and you still manage to call me that."

Sam shrugged. "What can I say, your still the same nub." She teased him. He laughed and sat down next to her on the bed. "What else could I possibly be?"

Sam smiled at the remark and sighed. Her eyes peered over at Emma who was sleeping peacefully in her crib which was placed in a tight fit. "Can't believe we're doing this." Sam whispered softly.

Freddie nodded. "I know... it doesn't seem surreal." He shrugged. Sam looked back at him in agreement and noticed how tired and worn out he looked, it was probably from sleeping on that sofa chair for the best couple days. She sighed and without a warning to Freddie she got up, tiptoed, around Emma's crib and laid down on the chair.

"What are you doing?" Freddie frowned, asking her once he saw she moved to is place. Sam shrugged. "Your probably really tired of sleeping on this thing. Take the bed tonight, you it Benson. You have work in the morning." She whispered.

Freddie smiled at her generosity, knowing she doesn't show that side of her often, if at all, most times, but he shook his head. "Nah, I'll be fine Sam, come on."

Sam sighed in annoyance, and gave up, already missing the warmth of her bed. Freddie smiled and helped her pull the blanket protectively around herself. "You good?" He asked as he was about to get up. Sam shook her head.

"No, not good." She spoke, her words were muffled because she was hiding half her face in the blanket. Curiosity spiked at Freddie and he frowned in question at her as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Sam was on her side, facing him, not wanting to further explain why she wasn't 'good'; he knew why she wasn't good, and she didn't have to explain herself once more did she?

Freddie sighed and got into a more comfortable position on the bed, now laying down on top of the covers beside her. "Talk to me..." He mumbled, staring up at the ceiling, knowing that if he doesn't pressure Sam into revealing her feelings by staring her down, he'll have a better chance at succeeding, and getting the truth outta her.

"Who would wanna kill Carly and Adam?" Her voice was so gentle, and soft, and... innocent in that moment, that it caught Freddie off guard. His plan was to talk to her, and not make her feel intimidated by looking at her when she spoke, but when he heard those words come out of her mouth, in that tone... he was lost for words. he swore he's never heard her so scared, so innocent before... and it's a weird feeling, one he doesn't know if it's bad or good.

It takes him a while to come to his senses and to find the right words but he speaks soon enough that he knows Sam wouldn't regret having asked him. "I don't know... I never pictured them having enemies that would be actually don't something to them..." He says un-surly.

Sam's head suddenly snaps towards him like that the most brilliant thing she's ever hear din her life. "Ivy, Ivy Whitlock. She lays held a grudge against Carly for firing her. She was her main consultant styler. Came back to the store couples times every year throwing a fit... there was something...off about her... I don't know, she obsessive and imbalanced..." Sam spoke clearly, even though her voice was filled with un-clarity.

One of Freddie's eyebrows rose and he frowned. "Strange, the same with Adam. We have this guy, Parker Evans comes in every month or so, trying to bargain an asking price for the company. But, he doesn't look like the type of man to kill for a company. H-he's just a normal business man trying to make a few billion." Freddie shrugged.

Sam turned on her side to face him and studied his features. His eyes remained glued to the ceiling, not daring to meet her eyes.

"I'm tired of talking about this. Let the police or the FBI figure out what happened..." She mumbled sleepily as she closed her eyes hoping to relax for a short moment. This caught Freddie's attention quickly as he snapped his head in her direction showing off his deep frown.

"We cant just quit Sam, this isn't something you can just give up on!" He argued. Sam opened her eyes and looked at him. This time he was studying her, her emotions her reaction to his sudden outbreak of opinion. She didn't seem angry so he felt safe enough to continue.

"This is Adam and Carly. Our best friends. Our family... we can not give up on them."

Sam was in love. In love with the way Freddie carried himself in that moment. He proved himself worthy of her, he stood up to her on something he believed, he faced her even though she knew every bone in his body was fighting it. She wasn't looking to the eyes of the Freddie she grew up with, she was looking into the eyes of this man, this man that barely seemed recognizable, but yet -she felt like as if shes known him all her life -she has. She liked the new Freddie. He was confidant, protective, parental, independent, and strong. He was man.

So she smiled and spoke, rolling her eyes. "I didn't mean in general Fredster, I meant for right now... its late -or early-or whatever you nerds call it at three in the morning." She yawned, stretching her legs.

Freddie looked down at her and smiled. "Okay." As Sam shut her eyes she felt the bed shift as he proceeded to get off it and return to his chair, and she quickly extended her arm and caught him before he left.

"Stay," She mumbled half asleep. Freddie took a slight moment to think about it then laid back down on tip of the covers. "You sure?" He whispered as she settled himself.

Sam nodded, eyes closed, and on the verge of sleep. "Get in Benson, before I change my mind." She yawned once more.

Freddie smirked and got beneath the covers. "If you touch me, I will personally kill you in your sleep." She mumbled, as she turned herself away from him.

Freddie lay on his back, one arm bent behind his head, the other on his stomach. "Good to know." He chuckled, as he closed his eyes, letting his body absorb the warm and room of an actual bed.

"Good to know."

...

The sun peaked through the thin white curtains casting a certain glow on the room. Everything felt like it was at peace, in harmony, but it only lasted that little short moment of peace before Freddie realized the position he was in and the extra pressure he felt on his body.

He turned his head toward the side and panicked when he saw Sam, her head lying in the crock of his shoulder, one of her arms draped carelessly across his stomach. His quickly eyes widened and his heart raced. Suddenly the glow the sun was casting on the room from outside was a distant memory in the back of his mind as he tried to figure out a way to get her off him with her realizing, and killing him.

Well in reality he knew she wouldn't really kill him, but be pissed at him and most likely hog the bed for the rest of entirety. Where he will be forced to sleep on the lumpy couch, or the floor will he will get sick from the draft, or grow a hunch-back from sleeping a fetal position all the time. This is what ran through his mind when he saw her sleeping on top of him like she didn't have a care in the world.

He took a few short breaths and tried to calm himself. We are adults, we are not kids anymore... if she wakes ups, we'll handle this like adults.

As he was about to gently take Sam's arm off him he heard a couple of strange gurgling noises coming from the foot of the bed and stopped short, in his tracks.

His eyes met Emma's as she stared back at him amusingly. She was standing up in her makeshift crib, holding on to the top of the wooden rail. She played with a sweet, amused smile on her face and blew raspberries with her mouth, throwing tiny spit particles into the air.

Freddie saw this and instantly a smile grew on his face. "Hey Emma, hi... what are you doing up baby girl? Hu?" He asked softly not wanting to wake up Sam.

Emma continued to stare back at him but she giggled this time and jumped and down happily. "Shh..." Freddie cooed her from afar. "Lets not wake Auntie Sam... Okay? Cause, she will be a very grumpy auntie if we wake her up." He continued, shifting his focus on getting Sam's arm off his stomach.

Once he did this he let out a breath of air and continued. He slowly and gently wiggled his shoulder loose from Sam's head and then rose from the bed with out her noticing. A wave of relief washed through him.

He made it.

Nothing goes as planned
Everything will break
People say goodbye
In their own special way
All that you rely on
And all that you can fake
Will leave you in the morning
But find you in the day

...

So this took a little while, sorry that was only because I was in a school play recently and i needed to learn my lines and study and to homework on top of all that, and got home late. Never really had time to write. Except for weekends, but those were my free days... anyway. We all get it. That one month that your completely out of it and packed with s**t to do... well! That was chapter four. It was only like a little filler but you'll hear more from Claire, and you'll get to meet the imbalanced Ivy soon. Also more sweet Seddie moments and WHO do you think killed Adam and Carly?

Haha review! Let me know what you think! I wanna read your mind! (not really haha) but still! Have any questions? PM me! Or simply leave a question in a review and i'll get back to you! :) Hope you enjoyed!

Yours truly,

-C