Chapter 4: Feelings
The small group decided to remain at the camp a few days to wait for a response back from Skyhold regarding the discovery of Warden Elissa Cousland in the area. Jane Shepard was hoping that she would be up to joining them on their mission to the Anderfels. It would give the investigation more legitimacy if the Warden that survived killing the Archdemon was part of the group. Even the High Warden would have to give her respect and any true Grey Warden would give his or her right eye to work with her. The sound of a horse racing towards them pulled Jane from her tent earlier in the morning than normal and she saw Alistair riding in on a lathering mount. One of the scouts quickly took the mount to walk it as soon as Alistair dismounted. His face streaked with worry and road dust, turned to Shepard and demanded, "Where is she?"
Jane nodded not bothering with greetings knowing that Alistair was rightfully more concerned about his 'rose' than pleasantries. Jane opened the neighboring tent flap to show a sleeping Warden and said, "I'll have someone bring you both something to eat and set it outside the tent for when you get hungry, "she said as Alistair walked into the tent and knelt down next to the cot as Elissa woke up. The tent flap closed just as the female Warden raised her hand to cup Alistair's cheek.
"Go ahead and say it, "said Jane turning to see Cole standing right behind her.
"I told you he would come for his rose, "replied Cole, "They should go back to Skyhold together. It hurts for them to be apart."
"Do you really think she'll go with him? She's been hunting for a cure for the Calling instead of being with him for how long?" Shepard said as she headed back into her own tent.
Cole followed as he said, "If she does find a cure, their time together will most likely still be limited due to how they live. They should spend what time they have together."
"That's not our call, Cole, "said Jane tiredly, "But you're right. As much as I would like to have her along on this trip, she would be better off with Alistair in Skyhold. At least we can pretend she's joined the Inquisition."
Cole ducked behind his oversize hat and started fidgeting. "Cole, "said Jane as she caught a hint of unease from Cole before he surprisingly blocked her. She stepped towards her friend and lifted up the hat to see him blushing, "What's wrong?"
"I should go, "he said as he turned and raced out of the tent.
"Cole!" Jane called out worried as she stepped out of the tent. She then heard faint noises coming from the neighboring tent. She face palmed but then started to worry once more. Cole was never flustered by other people spending 'time' together before.
(River not far from camp)
"What is wrong with me, "Cole muttered as he paced along the stream, trying to walk off an uncomfortable feeling in his crotch, "No no no, this isn't right."
Anders walked through the brush and said, "Something wrong, Cole? Shepard asked me to check up on you saying that this might be a 'guy thing'."
Cole fell sitting on the ground and hid behind his hat and shyly said, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've felt, heard, seen people having sex, loving, holding before but when I was standing with Jane and the Wardens started…" Cole stopped and shook his head as he played with his hands as he added, "I started imagining Jane…"
"Okay, I get the hint, "said Anders has he carefully slid to the ground keeping in mind he wasn't as young as he use to be, "So you and Jane haven't…"
"NO!" Cole yelled looking up at Anders in shock and then ducked down behind his hat once more, "We flirted, teased, joked but no. "
"Hmmm, I think Shepard may have been partially wrong about you, "Ander's mused with a wry grin, "Mentally and physically you may be an adult, but emotionally…Tell me have you 'imagined' anyone else like you did Jane?"
Cole shook his head negatively and Ander's continued, "Is this the first time you 'imagined' Jane in such a way?"
Cole shrugged and whispered, "No, but not with her in the room and usually tried to hide it from her so as not to hurt her."
"Why do you think it would hurt her, "asked Anders.
Cole looked into the direction of the camp and said, "Someone else has hurt her. She loved and he hurt her."
Some understanding came over Anders as he placed a hand on Cole's shoulder, "Cole, even if she has loved and been hurt in the past it doesn't mean she can't love again. It's part of being human. " Anders snorted as he mentally noted his own relationship problems and said more to himself, "Here I am giving a spirit of compassion love advice, what is the world coming to."
"Justice does not understand, "said Cole now focusing in on Anders' pain, "If he did, he wouldn't hurt you or Hawke so much. I could try talking to him."
Anders struggled to stand up in his sudden panic as he stuttered, "N-n-no, that's quite alright."
Cole tilted his head and said, "You fear him, he was your friend and now you fear him. That hurts him as much as it hurts you. I can help. Even though I am now human, spirits still see me as Compassion. "
"You don't understand, "said Anders angrily, "Justice and I are now one, he is part of me. An insane…"
"That is true and not true, "said Cole sounding more mature than he has since Anders met him, "You make him more real, but he is still Justice and you are still Anders. Separate but one."
Cole stood up as Anders stumbled back a few steps not really sure how the conversation got switch from Cole's infatuation with the group's leader to Anders' problems with Justice. Cole was suddenly right in front of the mage and grabbing hold of the sides of Ander's head. "I must help, "the young man said and next all that Anders knew was darkness.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, "demanded Justice shoving Cole away, "YOU WILL PAY…"
"Shut up, "said Cole giving Justice a challenging look, "You know who I am and you are done with hurting Anders. "
To be continued….
