So, this didn't come out quite the way I wanted, but whatever. I'm trying to make the chapters as different as possible, so some may be better than others. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Some of the dialogue in the beginning came from a seven year old named Garrett who asked me some very curious questions while I was working as a nanny.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.
"Oh Kristoph?"
Sixteen year old Kristoph had been engaged in his difficult law textbook when he heard the singsong voice of his little brother down the hall. He closed his eyes and grimaced as eight year old Klavier burst through the room.
"Klavier…can't you see I'm busy?" Kristoph groused. The small blond child pouted in response.
"You're always busy, Kristoph! You promised yesterday that you'd play with me!"
"No…I don't believe I did. It's 6 AM…"
"But I want to ask you a question!"
"Klavier, I'm busy. Ask me later."
"If I ask when you're all done, do you PROMISE to answer me?"
"Fine, just leave me alone."
Klavier dashed out of the room as his older brother resumed reading about old courtroom procedures. Kristoph sat hunched over his textbook for at least another hour before finally returning to reality. When he opened his door to move out to the hall, Klavier was standing there, grinning widely.
"Kriiiiiiistoph!" Klavier chirped in a singsong voice. "I've got a REALLY important question for you!"
"Fine, what is it!" Kristoph said exasperatedly. He knew if he refused to answer, Klavier would run to their father, who would blame Kristoph without checking the facts. Klavier knew this, of course, and he had the PERFECT question prepared to drive his brother insane.
"Kristoph, how are babies made?"
Kristoph stared at Klavier and blinked a couple times, trying to keep his composure. Klavier was by no means dumb. The little boy knew full well that the question he was asking was extremely awkward, even if he didn't quite know all the details. Kristoph swallowed hard before responding, trying to keep his crimson face from sight.
"May I ask why you want to know that?"
"Um…just because."
Kristoph sighed. There was no denying that his brother's sole purpose in life was to try and drive him up the wall. Whether it was banging on that toy guitar in the middle of the night or interrupting his dates, Kristoph resented his little brother. Kristoph's last date had actually given Klavier her number, and Kristoph wasn't too fond of being passed over for an eight year old kid. Maybe now would be the time for his revenge.
"Alright, Klavier. Before I tell you, tell me what you know. I would hate to bore you with details that you were already aware of," Kristoph said, smiling coolly. Klavier hadn't been expecting that reaction, and the boy's face turned beat red.
"You mean…right now?"
"You brought this up, Klavier," Kristoph replied serenely, pulling out a tiny tape recorder, hidden from Klavier's sight. It was the perfect idea - Kristoph knew how to get access to the PA system at Klavier's school, and the recording would make for an excellent morning announcement.
"Uh…well…it has to do with boys and girls, right?"
"Go on…"
"And…they do something…and then a baby makes the girl get fat."
Kristoph chuckled at Klavier's crude explanations.
"And then…it comes out of the mommy's mouth, like we do when we throw up."
(A/N: Word for word, this is what Garrett said to me when he asked me this question. I'm not kidding.)
Kristoph couldn't hold it in any longer. He burst into an almost maniacal laughing fit, causing his little brother to glare.
"Kristoph? What's so funny?"
"Nothing…continue."
Klavier looked at his older brother skeptically. Klavier wasn't stupid. It didn't take him long to realize that Kristoph was trying to make him look like a complete fool - especially after Klavier noticed a small tape recorder in his elder brother's hand.
"Kristoph…lose the recording and just tell me. I want to know. Really."
"Klavier…why do I have an obligation to tell you anything? And this recording is what I call 'payback,' yes?"
Klavier smirked at this. If his brother wanted to play rough…so would he.
"You know, Kristoph…maybe I should tell father about what you did with Marie?"
Kristoph's smile vanished. Kristoph had been very taken with Marie, and he had THOUGHT the two of them had been alone when they had…well…Klavier should have been at school…
"Wh…what?"
"I suppose I could ask father about babies. It wouldn't be hard," Klavier replied darkly, before putting on a mocking tone. "Oh Father? When Kristoph and Marie were in his bedroom…were they making a baby?"
Kristoph's fist clenched. His father would murder him. He would get smacked for letting his grades slip…who knew what he would do if he found out about Marie?
"Klavier…you wouldn't DARE," Kristoph hissed, his eyes flashing menacingly. "Is threatening me with that really a wise idea?"
"All I want is to know what exactly happens. Obviously, my explanation was contradictory, given your extreme fits of laughter. So…tell me the truth. I want to know because my friends were teasing me when I didn't know the answer."
Kristoph looked at Klavier's sad face. Klavier was being sincere now, not that Kristoph particularly cared. At the very least, Klavier was the only brother he had, and part of Kristoph secretly liked that Klavier was coming to him instead of their parents.
"Alright…what do you need to know?"
"Well…how do they come out? I guess our mother didn't throw us up, huh."
"No…they…well…there are multiple ways for the baby to come out. Some mother's elect to have surgery."
"Surgery? Like…slicing the mommy open?"
"Yes, exactly. They cut her open, get the baby, and cut the string that holds the baby in place."
Klavier's eyes glared at his older brother, much to Kristoph's surprise. The boy was fed up with his brother attempting to make him look stupid.
"Kristoph, I told you not to lie to me! That sounds so stupid. I mean, who in their right mind would cut someone up just to get a baby out? Forget it, Kristoph!"
"Wait…you're not going to…"
Before Kristoph could finish his question, Klavier had ran out of the room, fuming. Klavier was a bit of a drama queen, but Kristoph couldn't risk it. Knowing Klavier, his parents had already learned all about his fling with Marie, and Kristoph had to get his payback before his own punishment. He dashed out the door before seeing his parents and headed to Klavier's school.
()()()()
Klavier was in his classroom, bored with everyone around him. They were laughing and giggling, and the morning announcements hadn't even begun yet. He was still brooding over the situation with Kristoph.
Yes…he had asked the question to get on his brother's nerves. And yes, he knew bringing up Kristoph's date with Marie was wrong, but he couldn't help it. It was in the handbook for little brothers to be obnoxious. Klavier understood that the word "sex" was something unmentionable, and he could reasonably deduce that that was where babies were made. But he didn't know exactly what it was…and he really did want Kristoph to tell him.
Klavier's thoughts were interrupted by the morning announcements…and his face turned bright red as he recognized his own voice coming over every speaker in the school…
()()()()
Kristoph hadn't really felt guilty about sneaking into Klavier's elementary school that morning. Klavier deserved it, especially after spying on Kristoph's own "baby-making" experiment.
It was well after the elementary school had let out when the home phone rang. Kristoph recognized it as his father's number and promptly answered it.
"Father?"
"Kristoph! I just heard from Mr. Queen that his daughter Marie is quite taken with you. You should ask her out properly. Mr. Queen is a judge, and it would be fitting…"
Kristoph tuned his father's drawling voice out as his mouth hung open in shock. Regardless of his father's intrusion on his dating life, he knew one thing for certain - Klavier obviously hadn't told anyone. Kristoph hung up the phone before his father even stopped talking. He looked at his watch. Klavier should have been home 40 minutes ago.
Kristoph tried to rationalize the situation. Whatever…Klavier was a tough kid. He's a tease himself, so a little teasing couldn't hurt him that badly, right? Besides it's not like Kristoph felt guilty…but he couldn't lie to himself. If it was anyone else, Kristoph would have been one of the people to mock him mercilessly. But it was his younger brother, and Kristoph knew Klavier looked up to him more than he could imagine.
He grabbed his coat and took off for the school. He didn't have to walk far before he heard children's voices coming from the park nearby.
"What's wrong, Klavier? A baby coming out your mouth?" a boy's voice sneered.
Kristoph rounded the corner and saw something that made him angry. Klavier was on the ground, his clothes and hair covered in mud, while two much larger boys seemed to be kicking and taunting him relentlessly.
"You've got some nerve, idiot. Standing on your high horse all the time, acting smarter than us. Really…you're worthless. I hope you know that."
Klavier had clearly been crying, and Kristoph knew he had to do something.
"HOLD IT!"
Kristoph shouted at the top of his lungs. The two bullies turned to face him, their faces still smiling evilly.
"This your brother?" one of the boys said sarcastically.
"No man…that's his sister! Just as sissy as the wimp over there…" the other boy laughed, pointing at Klavier.
Kristoph grabbed the two boys by their collars and pulled them very close to his face. He gave them his most menacing glare and hissed in his most venomous voice.
"If you so much as THINK about hurting Klavier again, I will skin you both alive, bury you in the ground, and make sure your parents never find so much as a toenail from your decomposing corpses. Are we clear?"
The boys began to tremble with utter terror. Kristoph noticed a small yellow trickle running down the largest boy's leg. He threw the boys to the ground before they sprinted away, terrified of the teenager before him.
When the boys were gone, Kristoph turned his attention to his younger brother, who was still sitting on the ground with his face buried in his arms. There were no major injuries that he could see, but Klavier looked more miserable than the last time Kristoph pulled an evil prank on him.
"Klavier…are you alright?" Kristoph asked, reaching for him. Klavier smacked his hand away.
"Why? Why are you like this? One minute, you're smiling, the next…you just…" Klavier trailed off, turning away from Kristoph. Kristoph didn't quite know how to respond. Why did he feel the need to cause people so much…grief?
"I…don't know. I just don't."
"Is this because I asked you where babies come from?" Klavier asked quietly, still refusing to look at his brother. Kristoph shook his head.
"No…this is from years of resentment. This shouldn't be the case, but…I can't help it. The question was the trigger. You know full well where babies come from, and you wanted to embarrass me. You succeeded, and I felt this was…justified."
"I knew? If I knew, why would I babble on like an idiot? And then you…I would never do that to you. Ever. Brothers don't do that."
Kristoph sighed, deeply regretting his actions that morning.
"Honestly…I thought you had told father about me and Marie, which would mean I would be…" Kristoph began before Klavier cut him off.
"I never actually spied on you."
"What?"
"I made it up. I knew you were on a date. That was all. You sort of…filled in the gaps for me. And I was never going to tell on you because…"
"Brothers don't do that, I get it," Kristoph finished, feeling something remarkably like guilt in the pit of his stomach.
The two brothers sat in silence. Klavier still wouldn't look at his brother, not that Kristoph could blame him. Kristoph knew he needed to do something drastic if he would ever bridge the gap. He sighed, swallowing his pride, before speaking.
"Klavier…let me tell you where babies come from…"
Alright, you know how much I love your reviews. Thank you so much for all the inspiration thus far. Next chapter: Larry's in a bit of a bind…
