Shamandalie
By Trollhammer
Disclaimer: I own nothing yada yada yada
WARNING: This chapter contains 'Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End' spoilers.
Chapter Four
The late morning sun shone brilliantly through the windows, beaming down on several piles of unwashed clothes and discarded bits of paper and crockery. The resulting heat that would normally be so welcome in all its warmth and radiance only served to intensify the pungent stench of stale sweat and congealed food. But above all this, on the top bunk, laid a troubled Beast Boy, his mind on things other than personal hygiene...he was thinking about the night before...the night when Derek came to the tower. For the first time in a long time, Beast Boy felt afraid...afraid because he knew Derek was a threat to everything that he had been hoping for all this time. He could tell just from the way he and Raven were behaving last night that they seemed like...as much as he hated to admit it...a perfect match. But then he did make her happy...and that's what was important to Beast Boy. He knew Raven had been through so much, and endured some terrible ordeals. So to finally see her genuinely smile was a wonderful sight...he just wished it was him making her smile. But he could hardly blame either of them...nobody was to blame for anything. He couldn't help but be himself anymore than they could help being themselves...it was just the way things were. But apart from that...Derek was a nice guy. He liked him...especially after something he said last night...
-Flashback-
Beast Boy splashed cold water over his face several times, the sharp coolness temporarily refreshing his numbed senses. Watching them play together like that had been almost too much for him to take, so he made an excuse to leave. He looked himself in the mirror...his agonized gaze and his paled complexion told their tale. He dried himself off and opened the door to leave, when Derek stepped around the corner of the darkened corridor.
"Whoops, sorry Beast Boy."
"No problem," he replied half-heartedly.
Derek stopped in his tracks...he knew he was about to say something, but he really didn't want to hear it, so he kept on walking until-
"Beast Boy..."
That stopped the changeling dead in his tracks as a lump rose to his throat.
"Something's wrong, isn't it?"
He knew from his tone that it was more of a statement than a question. He'd figured him out, so there was no point in denying it. Besides, maybe it would do him some good to get his feelings off his chest. He slowly turned to face the tall gothic teen, who looked surprisingly imposing in the shadows.
"It's that obvious, huh?" he retorted with a half smile.
Derek couldn't help but feel pity for him...he knew exactly what was troubling him.
"It's me and Raven, isn't it? That's what's bothering you."
The pained wince on Beast Boy's face confirmed that he'd hit the nail on the head. He sighed and sat up against the wall.
"Pull up a pew," he smiled, tapping the ground next to him.
Beast Boy saw the genuine concern in his eyes and slowly made his way next to Derek and slumped down next to him.
"So how long have you liked her?"
Beast Boy looked up at him in amazement.
"How can you tell these things? Are you a mind-reader?"
"If I was, I wouldn't be working in a coffee shop now, would I?" he smiled.
Beast Boy allowed himself a small chuckle. He cleared his throat and prepared himself to pour his heart out...something he'd been longing to do for a long time...to finally vent his frustrations and have complete release.
"I've...like Raven for a long time now. At first, it was just a crush...but as the years have gone by, it's become something a whole lot more. It's like...I hang onto her every word, even though I barely understand half the time. I'll never pretend to understand because that would be an insult to her intelligence. And her eyes...I could lose myself in her eyes forever. Her hair...her skin...just everything about her is perfect. I'd worship the damn ground she walked on if she would ask me...but I always mess it up. I lose my nerve when I'm around her and I always try to make some stupid joke to try and make her laugh. I know she hates my jokes, but it's all I know how to do...I know I'm never gonna write poetry or publish a novel, but..."
He let out a frustrated sigh, running his hands through his hair.
"And then you come along and, just like that...she's all smiles and giggles. You've achieved in a day what I've tried to achieve for years...and it hurts."
Derek gently put his arm around Beast Boy's shoulders.
"I know it does. And believe me...it wasn't always like this. It took some time...but I had the advantage of common ground, whereas the two of you are like chalk and cheese. I'm not saying that you've been approaching her in the wrong way...just the only way you know how. And believe me...she does admire you for that."
That made his ears perk up.
"Really?"
"Honestly. She thinks a lot more highly of you than you may realize. She'll never admit that to you directly though, that's just the sort of person she is. She's one of those types of people who sings your praises when you're not around. And she has been singing your praises quite a bit recently...I mean, she told me about that whole thing with Malchior..."
Beast Boy inhaled sharply at the mention of...THAT name.
"...and how you were there for her afterwards...and what you said. What you said wasn't poetry, and it didn't come from a book; it came from the heart. And she knew that."
Beast Boy gazed off into some distance as his words sank in.
"I...never realized." He looked back at him. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," he smiled.
Beast Boy felt his mouth go dry and his hands start to shake at the thought of what he was about to ask.
"I know you're probably gonna think this is typical, but I've gotta ask you, dude."
"Ask away."
"Do you...er...think she umm...likes me? In that way?" his voice got quieter and quieter until he was staring at his shoes blushing furiously.
'Poor guy,' he thought to himself.
There was a momentary silence as he pondered his question. Beast Boy looked to him with a desperate hope shimmering in his eyes.
"In all honesty...I really can't say."
His face and ears fell again.
"But I will say this; don't give up on her, and don't let this eat you up. Because if you let this get to you too much, you'll end up resenting her...and I can tell that's the last thing you want. As long as she knows she has you in her corner as her friend, then she'll be happy. I'm not saying things are set in stone...I can't tell the future. So just hang in there and you never know."
Derek then stood up, stretching to his full height with an invigorating yawn.
"Anyway, I'm gonna get back to the others. You coming?"
"I'll be along in a sec...I've got stuff I need to think about."
"No problem."
He began to walk back to the common room.
"Derek..."
"Yeah?"
"...thanks."
"Anytime."
And with that, he was gone.
-End Flashback-
So the possibility was still there...maybe he still had a chance...there was still some hope for him yet. He turned his head to look out the window and smiled at the glorious sunshine. He hopped down from the bed and strolled happily towards the bathroom; today was gonna be a good day.
At that moment...
Given today's exceptionally hot weather, even the regular crowd at the Moondial Cafe could be forgiven for opting for more...heat friendly attire. Many had opted to sit outside to soak up the sun, wearing a collective of darkly coloured short-sleeved or sleeveless light cottons combined with denim or cotton shorts or summer frocks and dresses. Even Raven had opted for more casual civilian attire, wearing a plain black waist length tube top with string straps, a pair of plain denim shorts and black sandals. She hid her eyes behind a pair of round lens sunglasses to avoid any unwanted attention on her way. She waited patiently for Derek to emerge from inside the cafe, basking in the surrounding calm that was normally hard to come by in Jump City. He finally emerged, carrying a tray of hot and cold beverages and snacks, winding his way around the tables and people with a grace that had come with practice. She watched as he planted their orders in front of them with a small, polite smile, and received compliments in turn. Eventually, he caught sight of Raven and stopped in his tracks, squinting his eyes to decipher if that really her was sat before him...but then, who else did he know with purple hair and incredibly pale skin? He flashed his index finger to signal her to wait for a moment as he quickly went about handing out the last of the orders, before standing in front of her, holding his tray to his stomach with a smile on his face.
"Hey there."
She removed her sunglasses and squinted her eyes slightly, adjusting to the light.
"Hi," she smiled back at him.
"I er...wasn't expecting to see you here...I thought you'd be...y'know...out doing the whole superhero thing."
"Well even us superheroes get to take a break once in a while," she countered.
"Ah, Touché," he retorted, before pulling out a notepad and pen. "So, what can I get you?"
"Just the usual please," she smiled, "and...since I know you get off work early today, what's say we go catch a movie? I've had my heart set on 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 3' for some time."
His smiled broadened.
"I'd like that. But until then..." he quickly scribbled her order down on the notepad. "One herbal tea and croissant coming up."
He turned sharply on his heels and walked off briskly. Raven watched in slight amusement as he disappeared back into the cafe with an extra jig in his step.
A couple of hours later...
Beast Boy was down at the grocery store, carting a trolley full of various food stuffs and household wears. It was his turn to do the shopping today, so he thought he'd surprise everyone by going early, rather than putting it off until the last minute like he usually did. He thought he'd surprise everyone even more by preparing a meal for them that evening. He'd been reading up on recipes for vegan meals and dishes and had been meaning to try his hand at cooking for some time now. As he made his way down the aisles, he politely waved off the attentions of wide-eyed children and adoring teenage female admirers. Although he would normally soak up the attention and revel in the limelight, his mind was on other things. Derek had said Raven...thought highly of him. But if that was the case, why didn't she ever say anything? Why did she instead choose to remain silent and continue to subject him to her usual cold, harsh, piercing sarcasm? Although Derek did say she wasn't the sort of person who'd ever admit anything to him...but that offered him little comfort. All he wanted was the slightest reassurances from time to time...where was the harm in that? Maybe she didn't want to lead him on or give him the wrong idea...but he felt as though she had taken things to the extreme and left him feeling completely alienated. Suddenly, his ears perked at the sound of a familiar song on the radio...a song he hated to admit that he knew, given that it was not to his usual taste. But on top of that, it was so damn depressing. Although now, he thought, giving his current situation, the song had something of a more prophetic feel to it...if all he'd ever hoped for went awry. So as the sound of The Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' echoed through the corridors, Beast Boy allowed the harrowing words to sink in and torment him:
When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low
And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again --
Why is the bedroom so cold? You've turned away on your side
Is my timing that flawed - our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal that we've kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again --
You cry out in your sleep - all my failings expose
There's a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold
Just that something so good just can't function no more
When love, love will tear us apart again --
Beast Boy felt his heart wrench in his chest by the end of the song. His ears drooped beside his head and he sighed sadly, trying to suppress the tears...what if he was kidding himself? What if he'd just been living in a fantasy world for the last few years? What if everything he'd ever strived to achieve...was all for nothing? His thoughts were cut short when the wall imploded and people began screaming. He ran past the oncoming barrage of panicked bystanders, to see the enormous frame of Mammoth emerge from the cloud of dust and plaster, with a sinister grin spread across his face.
"Attention shoppers," his voiced boomed mockingly, "do not panic; this is a hold-up. Please make your way to the nearest empty sack and leave all your valuables for collection. Failure to comply will result in a world of hurt!" he proclaimed, cracking his knuckles.
He was suddenly side-tackled by a green rhino, which sent him hurtling into a row of shelves, which promptly collapsed on him. After a few split seconds, he burst free with a roar and reared his head wildly, searching for his assailant. When he saw Beast Boy crouched before him, ready to strike, he broke into an arrogant smirk.
"What's this? Kiddie hour? Ha! Where's your back-up, green bean?"
"I don't need them to take you out, chump stain!"
Mammoth snorted.
"Yeah, right! We all know you can't hold your own...especially without your dumb, Goth girlfriend!" he taunted.
That was all Beast Boy could take...with a sadistic flash in his eyes, he began to transform into the Beast and charged a surprised Mammoth.
"What the...!?"
Derek and Raven sat in the movie theatre, amongst other movie-goers, engrossed in 'Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End'. Thankfully they had managed to avoid public attention, given Raven's casual attire. They'd both laughed at the silliness, and become engrossed in the drama...particularly the current scene, between Tia Dalma and Davy Jones. Even though the two of them had figured it out long before, this scene was the revelation that she had in fact been the woman that Jones had loved, and she was the one who had broken his heart. But Derek couldn't help but make some troubling comparisons between Davy Jones and Beast Boy...both of them had been used and hurt by women (he remembered the stories Raven told him about Terra), and both of them were crippling themselves with their longing desire for love. Watching the scene unfold before them made his stomach knot ever so slightly. Then came a particular moment that really made him feel uneasy...
"And where do your heart lie?"
Davy Jones looked sadly back over his shoulder and replied:
"My heart will always belong to you."
Derek hung his head and sighed to himself, troubling thoughts beginning to swirl in his mind. What if the worst were to happen if he and Raven ended up together? What if Beast Boy sank into complete depression and convinced himself that he would never find anyone else? In short...what if he ended up a bitter and utterly destroyed shell of a man...like Davy Jones? His thoughts were cut short as the next scene began to unfold, with the Pirates confronting the British Armada...
Mammoth was sure he felt one of his ribs crack as he was thrown through another wall. They had long since left the grocery store far behind, and this...this beast had been tearing him to pieces all over the city. It was hard to believe that beneath this torrent of rage and fury was Beast Boy…his smallest adversary, could pose this much of a threat. When the taste of his own blood hit him, he panicked. This wasn't right…
"Stop!" he pleaded, "You're a hero! You can't do this!"
His words fell on deaf ears as the Beast launched himself at him again and hoisted him above his head. With one swift movement, he was thrown through the back wall of the movie theatre, his head throbbing. He tried to resist the urge to vomit as more blood escaped his mouth. The sounds of cannon fire and dramatic music blared in their ears as Beast Boy flung mammoth onto his back and straddled his stomach, before he began to sink him claws into his face…just as Davy Jones began to rip at Mercer's face with his tentacles. His hands shook with uncontrollable fury as he applied the pressure, threatening to crush his skull. As the screams of both Mammoth and Mercer filled his ears, Beast Boy let out a primal roar…until he heard a loud, sickening crack from the movie which stopped him in his tracks. He morphed back into himself and looked down at Mammoth's torn and disfigured face. He looked down at his bloodied hands.
"What have I done?" he whispered to himself.
He was thankful he'd managed to stop himself before he went too far, but still…he'd gone too far. When he saw the tears fall from Mammoth's eyes, he felt sick…how could he do this? In a panic, he morphed into a gorilla, lifted Mammoth onto his shoulder, and fled from the building.
Derek and Raven left the movie theatre in amongst the crowd of movie goers, half listening to the banter of those around them. Derek looked down at raven and gave her a light nudge.
"You enjoy it?" he asked smiling.
Raven smiled back half-heatedly.
"Yeah, it was cool, I guess."
Her response troubled Derek.
"Is something wrong?"
She sighed and looked back up at him.
"During the movie…I thought I heard something…and I sensed that something was wrong."
"How do you mean?" he asked, concerned.
Before she could reply, the outside world greeted them with blue and red flashing lights as police were questioning people exiting the cinema.
"What's going on?" Derek asked a young couple in front of them.
"Apparently there was some huge bust-up round the back of the theatre. They've got the whole ally way taped off. They're saying the fight started in some grocery store and they worked their way here."
"Any idea who 'they' were?"
"Your best bet would be to ask the cops."
"Ok, thank you."
With that, they manoeuvred their way through the crowd to the nearest police officer. Raven stepped up front.
"Excuse me, officer?" she asked politely.
The policeman turned to face her and greeted her with a surprised smile.
"Well now, if it isn't Raven of the Teen Titans."
She allowed a small smile and cut to the chase.
"What can you tell me about the incident?"
His face took on a serious look.
"Apparently, Mammoth attacked the grocery store a few blocks away, and then your friend Beast Boy showed up. There was some exchange of words…I dunno what Mammoth said to him but…eyewitnesses say he transformed into some huge beast and began throwing him around like a rag doll."
Raven's eyes widened.
"Where are they now?"
He shrugged sadly.
"Wish we knew. The trail of rubble and debris ended here, but nobody saw anything."
"Ok, thank you officer."
"No problem! Hey, any chance of an autograph for…?"
Before he could finish, she was gone.
A squad car pulled up at Jump City Police Station and two very disgruntled detectives emerged.
"I can't believe they sent us back from the god damn grocery store! We were there first, and we get relieved just like that!?"
"Just shut up and settle down, you're giving me a…"
They both stopped in their tracks when they saw Mammoth, battered, bruised and bloody, lying in front of the stairs to the main entrance, wrapped up in steel girders. One of them took out their radio.
"Er, sir? You're not gonna believe this…"
TBC
