A/N: I know it's been forever- sorry about that! Life got crazy with finishing up school, moving to a new city, and starting a new job. But this story's been at the back of my mind the whole time, and I think it's got at least a few chapters in it yet. Fingers crossed, I won't leave anyone hanging! -Z


Dammit, another dead end. Jess had been on the phone all day, trying to piece together what parts of Rory's life he'd missed over the past year- because clearly, he'd missed quite a bit. Last he had heard, she'd been doing okay. Not great, but holding it together. She was working on a new novel while finishing up the book tour for her last, and from what he'd heard through the publishing circuit, it had been going well. The tour ended, and he had assumed she was doing what most writers did, sequestering away to finish the next.

Then the phone calls had started. Really, there were only a handful of them. The first must've been over a month ago; a late night call in which she's said something about wanting to catch up, to see how he was doing... and yeah, looking back, maybe she had sounded a little tipsy then, too. It was a quick conversation. She had actually apologized for calling so late, and that was it. He hadn't called her back.

The next few calls were equally benign; granted, all were made past the appropriate times that the rules of etiquette dictated for telephone conversations, but he hadn't read too much into that. Maybe he should've. The Rory he'd known had always been so worried about breaking the rules. Even the small ones.

The calls kept getting later though, and the last few had been more frequent than usual. She'd sounded more and more distressed with each; less linear, more bitter. A little frayed at the edges. Something in her voice with the last had struck him as startlingly cynical and tinged with desperation.

It worried him. No, they hadn't really been in each other's lives for a while now, and yeah, it probably shouldn't have been his concern. But given their past and the connection that they'd shared all those years ago in that unreal, sleepy little town that was Stars Hollow, he'd probably always care.

And yes, what she'd said about him wanting to make things right and wanting to feel redeemed was probably true, too. What had she said? She definitely hadn't sugarcoated it... something about him being an asshole to everyone in his life for so many years? It made him cringe just to think about it.

But even through all of that, even through him fucking up his life at seventeen, she'd been there for him. And eventually served as the impetus for him to be better. The least he could do was be there for her when she needed the same, right? Didn't he owe her that?

He'd decided he had. But after that cluster of an encounter in her hellhole of an apartment, he was kind of at a loss. So he'd spent the better part of the day trying to find a little context on her life.

Jess had started with Luke. That phone call was the easiest, because he'd always been pretty good about keeping in touch with him. But it was also the hardest in some ways. His uncle wasn't quite the same person he had been either.

"Luke's diner."

"Hey, Luke. It's Jess."

"Jess. Hey, how's it going?"

"Going okay. You got a minute?"

"Yeah, sure, everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine... how've you been?"

"Doin' okay, keeping busy with the diner, you know. Same old."

"Yeah. Listen... I know you said you haven't heard from Rory recently, when I asked you the other day..."

"Yeah, no. Haven't heard from her."

"I, uh, I actually managed to track her down since then. Thing is, she didn't... she didn't look so good."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what's been going on with her? How she's been doing?"

"Like I said, I haven't really been talking to her much. Sounds like you know more than I do."

"Luke... I'm worried about her. I think she's in a really bad place, and I'm not sure if anyone's been looking out for her. I think she could use some help."

"Look, Jess. It's been a tough year for everyone. Rory's a strong kid; I'm sure she'll get through it and be fine in the end. I... I haven't really been in her life much since the funeral."

"Luke..."

"It's been hard, Jess. You know I'm not much of a talker, and I'd rather not get into it now. To be honest, I do worry about Rory sometimes. But seeing her... it just makes things harder. She'll find her way, though. She's got her dad, and her grandparents, and Lane. If I didn't think she'd be okay, you know I would do something. But if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it."

It had been an unproductive conversation, to say the least. He had managed to get Lane's current phone number out of it, as well as Christopher's (Lord knows why Luke had that one, but Jess would take anything he could get). And he understood where Luke was coming from, he really did. Lorelai's death had taken its toll on everyone. Especially Luke. They'd finally gotten married, and just two months after the honeymoon, she was gone.

Luke had looked haunted for months after that. It was harder still because he'd been the one driving. Something like that, you don't ever really get over it. Maybe learn to live with that all-consuming ache, and put on a brave face, but it couldn't possibly ever go away.

Things like that happen, and it just makes you wonder. How many car accidents happen every day? Jess himself had been backed up in traffic at least twice this week alone, behind some three-car pileup or another. But it's never supposed to happen to you. When you finally drive by the point of collision, it's just empty cars and shattered glass; men in uniform cleaning it all up. The resolution is imminent; roads will be clear again in a few hours. The most you think about it is to imagine a vague ambulance taking the injured to a hospital.

You don't think about the deaths. You don't think about the people being real, or God forbid, one of your own.

But that shit's happening to someone. In this case it was Lorelai. And like waves rippling out, it in turn engulfed Rory and Luke and Emily and Richard, and the entire town of Stars Hollow.

Luke had actually done an admirable job of picking up the pieces, once the initial shock had begun to pass. He eventually reopened the diner; moved back into the space above it; sold the Jeep and the house and tried to remember that he wasn't the one who had died. It certainly felt like it some days, though.

Jess could imagine that seeing Rory would only make those wounds hurt deeper; would only bring that pain to the surface again. He could imagine that it might be too much to bear, and enough to send him back under that dark, oppressing weight of grief again. Jess didn't blame him, really, for shutting her out. Rory had probably made it very easy for him to. Maybe he'd even called once or twice; tried to check in on her. She'd probably been cordial but curt and never encouraged anything more. It had probably seemed natural and unintentional, their parting ways and suddenly leading separate lives.

But Jess had secretly been hoping that his uncle wouldn't have let that happen. Luke had always been so much like a father to Rory that thinking of them breaking their tie was painful to comprehend. Painful, but apparently true. Jess had called hoping to hear good news, but life doesn't usually work out in best-case scenarios, does it?


The rest of the day hadn't gone much better. It had amounted to a failed phone call to Christopher (Your call cannot be completed as dialed, please hang up and try again), a rushed conversation with Lane (I don't know Jess; I'm sure she just needs some time. You know how close they were. She's not going to be perfect all of a sudden. ...No, I haven't talked to her in a while, but I've been busy with the kids and the band, and she's been off writing books. ...Jess, It's nice that you're so concerned, but I think it's a little unnecessary). Unnecessary. Right. Jess couldn't believe how cavalier a stance everyone was taking, given what he'd seen last week. Rory must've been putting on a better show with them than she had been with him.

"Jess? You coming to bed?"

His musings are interrupted by the slender, petite woman standing in the doorframe to his study.

"Hey, Emma. Yeah, just need to make one more phone call," he replies with a yawn.

"Who were you talking to?" she asks conversationally.

"Just..." an old friend? An acquaintance? "Someone I used to know," he shrugs.

"Was it Rory again? How's she doing?"

He'd forgotten he'd told her about Rory. It was after one of the late night calls; Emma had been over, and the phone had woken her. She'd been surprisingly understanding about the whole thing. Em had lost her own father when she was eighteen, and she could relate to this girl she'd never met. It was actually one of the things Jess loved about her, her ability to understand people and empathize with them. She was one of the kindest people Jess had ever met.

"No, it wasn't Rory. Actually, it was just one of her old friends. I was hoping she'd seen her recently, or at least talked to her."

"No luck?"

"No luck."

She walks over to his chair and kisses him on the head. "Hey. Be careful, okay? I know you just want to help her, but it sounds like a lot to take on, especially if there isn't anyone else in her life right now. Think about yourself a little, too, okay?"

He smiles. "Em. Don't worry about me. I just... I feel like I owe her, you know? It's an impossibly hard time for her, and no one's there."

"Yeah. I get it... believe me, I get it. I wish I'd had someone like you when I was going through it, too. If I can ever help in any way..."

Jess nods. "Sure. I've got one more call to make tonight, then I'll be done."

One more call. Unfortunately, it's to Luke again, and it means bringing up the Gilmore name once more. But Jess just thought of two people who were bound to still be in touch with Rory; they weren't really the type of people you could shut out.

"Hey, Luke. It's me again. Do you still have the number for Rory's grandparents?"