Title: DIFFERENT ROADS, SAME DESTINATION

Author: Lady Addiction

Fandom: Hikaru no Go

Pairings: None

Warnings: GEN, AU, angst, people with disabilities

Dedication: In thanks to the Lord for his many mercies in my own life.

DISCLAIMER: Hikaru no Go doesn't belong to me.

SUMMARY: In another universe, chibi-Hikaru is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

NOTES:

This chapter wouldn't have been possible without the help of Harumi and Lynlyn, for their insights and encouragement! -hugs-

Because of the way I wrote Hikaru's father, I guess it is inevitable that he may be or will be considered 'bad' or 'unjust'. This is not necessarily the case. Masao is human and he has his own dreams and hopes, all of which is directly or indirectly impacted by Hikaru's illness. I hope I'll be able to show that in this chapter.

Please note that Masao's views on living with MS is not necessarily the reality. This is all from his point-of-view and remember, the Japanese have little to no experience with Multiple Sclerosis and the ramifications and the descriptions of MS symptoms and possible effects are many and can be quite frightening.

Justareviewer, HarbringerLady, FanfictionDreamer, Hiakaru, Hitokiri-san, tati1, Akki no Tama, liankitty, kayue, liar-just-a-liar, risunga, and GoldenRat: Thank you so very much for your reviews and words of encouragement (and correction)! Your support is muchly appreciated.

WWWW

IV.

Shindou Masao had always thought of himself as a good man, a good father, a good husband. He worked hard at his firm, taking on project after project with little or no complaint---not even during those after-office drinking hours when he had coworkers bitterly whining about lost promotions, demotions, workload, and pay. He never strayed from his wife, even when the temptation was there in the form of the extremely pretty and vivacious office lady in the next door building who he saw more often than Mitsuko. He didn't have a strong closeness with his son, but he gave the boy food and shelter and affable evening conversations---just like his father did with him.

He was a good man, he thought, maybe a little proudly, in those times when he overhead gossip on wives and children being abused, on extra-marital sexual affairs, on dramatic conflicts between parent and child.

But at that moment, as he sat in the noisy bar with his jovial, red-cheeked coworkers, Masao couldn't help but think about his only son in a coma and stricken by some uncurable disease as he nursed his beer.

Sickness was nothing new to him, nothing new to any human being. Masao himself suffered from the yearly cold and sniffles, though he never let it affect his work. But Hikaru had an uncurable condition! Shortly after the diagnosis had been given, Masao had talked with Yamaoka-sensei privately and found out that there will be times when Hikaru may not be able to walk! What company would hire such a sickly man? And Hikaru was only ten! If he was already falling into commas and needing wheelchairs at the age of ten, what will happen when he turned 30? 40?

Masao's hand clenched tight against the slippery, cold surface of his beer bottle.

It didn't help that when he had contacted his health insurance provider, he was informed that Hikaru's condition was not covered under policy and that all his treatments and medication must be privately paid. Masao had discussed the treatments with Hikaru's doctor and some were astronomical, compared to how much he made and how much of his disposable income was already committed to regular household expenses.

In the end, Masao didn't want the long-term financial or personal responsibility needed for Hikaru's continuing good health. He didn't want the burden of caring for an invalid child.

He didn't want Hikaru with this state of health.

He had other plans, other dreams, other hopes. He had planned for him and Mitsuko to be able to travel the world for a year once Hikaru went to college. He had planned to retire early in his 50s and open a small business. He had planned to have a son that was either a J-League player or a hard-working salaryman (just like himself) with a wife and kids.

All those dreams were now on the verge of evaporating in light of his child's condition. The boy was not smart enough or hardworking enough, as his elementary grades attested, to get into a prestigious high school or college, which would have ensured a good position in a company that may be willing to overlook his health issues. He will probably also never marry because who would want to take care of a husband who can't work? And his health would mean that he won't be able to work properly in a trade for no shop-keeper or owner would take in a helper or apprentice who wasn't able to do everything he was required to do.

No matter how he wished otherwise, Masao knew that Hikaru as he now was had no future.

And he knew he wasn't a good man for thinking this---but he wondered if they, including Hikaru, were not all better off if the boy never woke up.

-End Chapter-