Chapter 16: Chapter 16 Learning from the Past


AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing. And thanks to MissBellaIII for going over this for me. Much thanks, hon.

Chapter 16 Lessons of the Past

*** BPOV

I was discharged from the hospital the day after I awoke. Fortunately, I was excused from work the rest of the week and given a prescription for pain killers to help with the incessant headache my "fall" had given me. Everyone believed the story that I had stumbled off a step ladder at Jake's house. We didn't have to elaborate. I learned that people tended to believe what the Cullens told them.

Jake resigned his position at Wood, claiming the fever he had was a precursor to a congenital health issue common in the Quileute tribe, which wasn't far from the truth. Sam Uley explained to our principal that the experts for the treatment of Jake's problem were in Washington State and that he would get worse before he got better, so it made sense for the sudden resignation and departure. Jake was out of Winchester before the weekend had arrived.

He didn't go without giving me a very apologetic phone call saying he was mortified at what he had done. He made me promise to visit him the next time I came to Forks so he could "make it up to me." I wondered what he had in mind. And I wondered even more, if the next time I visited Forks, would he truly want to see me if by that time I had made the decision to change?

I told him to forget about it. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me. I was just glad he didn't injure anyone else and that my own injury was really relatively minor.

My parents, to my surprise, had moved into my little house. My mother shared my queen size bed with me and Charlie was bunking in the guest bedroom on the futon. Phil couldn't get away from his baseball duties in Florida, so it was just the three of us.

It was really weird having my parents together with me under my roof. I couldn't remember the last time this happened; probably way back when I was a baby, before Renee pulled up stakes and left Washington. It was not bad, per se, just odd. Way odd.

Charlie would thump around and grump at both of us. I could tell something was bothering him more than just my accident but he wasn't saying anything to me. I had no idea what he was stewing about.

I did catch him gazing at Renee once in a while. It's hard to describe the look he gave her but it was obvious she unsettled him. I guess it was weird to spend any length of time with your ex – the ex you never got over. Dad had never said anything but I knew how he felt.

Edward visited me every day but with Renee and Charlie hovering, there wasn't much more we could do than sit next to each other and talk, so we did.

We didn't talk about what I really wanted to, though. He couldn't tell me about his trip to Europe and what he found. He couldn't talk to me about Jacob and his transformation.

We mostly talked about Edward's plans. Edward was thinking that he may like to explore his musical ability career wise. He told me that he'd been driven to compose lately. That's what he did when he wasn't with me.

I couldn't wait to hear what he had composed but that would have to wait until I was given the all clear by my doctor, none other than Carlisle Cullen. Right now, I was under strict orders for house rest as long as I had a head ache. I think Carlisle was worried that I may get up to some "strenuous activities" if I visited Edward in his home.

I am telling you, Carlisle had a dirty mind.

Finally, the headache had all but disappeared and both Renee and Charlie had booked flights back home. Renee was leaving the next day and Charlie was leaving the day after. I felt up to cooking a celebratory dinner for just the three of us the night before Renee left: spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, salad, and cheese cake.

Since I was the most competent cook in the family, I believe both of my parents were relieved I took over that chore for the night. We sat around my little kitchen table and ate a pretty awesome dinner, if I must say so myself. We took our coffee and cheesecake into the living room. Renee was looking at the cups and saucers I had used.

"I remember these," she said. "These were your mother's, Charlie." She looked at him with a smile. "I always liked this pattern. It's so delicate."

Dad looked closely at the cup he held, "Yeah. She was really proud of these. She had a whole set of them."

Renee started to giggle, "Charlie do you remember that time your Mom found where your Dad stashed his emergency pint of bourbon?"

I saw my father's lips turn up and his eyes crinkled as if he was remembering a particularly funny story, "Oh boy. I don't think she ever let him forget it."

Turning to me, Renee explained, "Your grandmother had very strong views against hard liquor but occasionally Pops would enjoy a nip or two of Jack Daniels. To keep the peace, he'd sneak it. He found the best place to hide a bottle, or so he thought, was in the coffee carafe that went with this china. Your grandmother had hardly used it because she was afraid of spoiling it and Pops found that a pint of Jack would fit inside it perfectly.

"One day your grandmother decided to invite some friends over for coffee and to use the service. She reached up to the top of the china cabinet where she kept the carafe and not expecting it to be so heavy, it slipped through her fingers and crashed to the floor smashing into pieces and spewing Tennessee's finest all over her dining room rug.

"So there she was, her prized china coffee carafe splintered to smithereens, Jack Daniels soaking into her carpet with the biggest snobs in Forks coming over for cake and coffee. To top it off, the house now smelled like a distillery. I'd never seen her so mad," Renee started laughing and Charlie joined in.

"Poor Pops was in the dog house for years over that stupid china pitcher," Charlie shook his head.

I asked, "Were you there when it happened?"

"Oh, yes. We had just gotten married and were staying with Charlie's parents until our apartment was ready. We were upstairs…" All of the sudden Renee's explanation drifted off and she looked over at Charlie, whose cheeks, curiously, were cherry red.

Charlie coughed uncomfortably.

Renee saw his embarrassment and chuckled, "We were otherwise occupied."

Oh. My. God. They had been having sex.

Charlie squirmed in his chair and cleared his throat but didn't say anything. Renee, on the other hand, who was never at a loss for words went on, "Well you have to admit, Charlie, our sex life was pretty damn good."

Charlie rocketed out of his chair and stuttered, "Er… I have to... forgot something upstairs." He took the stairs two at a time.

"Mom," I scolded Renee, "You know Dad is uncomfortable about that stuff."

"He never used to be," she winked at me.

"MOM, too much information!" I was tempted to stick my fingers in my ears and start humming a song if she went on.

"Oh Bella, don't be such a prude. Sex is a healthy expression of love. I'd bet you are all over your man when you're alone."

"MOM! I am going to join Charlie upstairs if you don't cut it out."

Renee just laughed, shook her head and mumbled, "Two souls cut from the same cloth."

Charlie came back down stairs about then, looking as if he was braving a lion's den but resolved to tough it out. He looked so pathetically determined that Renee took pity on him.

"I am sorry, Charlie, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Charlie blushed again, "I wasn't really embarrassed, just surprised that, other than Bella, you remembered anything good about our marriage."

Renee took a deep breath and studied Charlie for a moment, her face reflecting what turned out to be unusually pensive thoughts. "I remember a lot of good things about our marriage, Charlie."

Charlie looked surprised, "You do?"

"Yes, Charlie. I realize now that you really were a good husband and have always been a wonderful father. When I left, it really wasn't because of you. It was because of Forks."

"What's wrong with Forks?" Charlie sounded a little insulted.

"Forks is okay, in its way, Charlie, but you have to admit the weather is pretty gloomy most of the time. The sun hardly shines there."

"So, we don't die of skin cancer. A little rain doesn't hurt anyone."

"I know, I know, but after many years of thinking about it, I think really it was a problem with me."

"You? What was wrong with you?" Charlie answered.

"I was reading this magazine a few years back and there was an article about a woman who lived in South Dakota or someplace like that. She had a disorder that was caused by lack of sunlight, Seasonal Affective Disorder it's called. Her symptoms sounded exactly like mine when I lived in Forks: afternoon slumps, lack of focus and energy, changes in sleeping patterns, agonizing depression. The longer I was in Forks, the worse I got. I felt suffocated and trapped and incredibly miserable. When I moved to California, I improved immediately. I've lived in sunny places ever since and have never had a glimmer of those feelings again. Again, I didn't leave because of you, Charlie, I just couldn't live in your town."

Charlie looked like he'd been pole axed, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, "And you never told me this because …?"

"I didn't quite understand it myself at the time. I knew that you loved Forks. Your parents were ailing and they needed you. You loved the climate, the land, the forest, the rivers, just everything about it. You'd just started what turned out to be a great career. I couldn't demand that you leave it all behind you, Charlie. I couldn't do that to you."

"Let me get this straight. You left Forks because it made you physically sick, not because you didn't want me anymore?"

"In a nut shell, yes."

"And you didn't give me a choice to go with you because you didn't want to hurt me?"

"I…er… I didn't want you to have to leave something you love."

Charlie let out a tortured groan, "And what made you think I didn't love you and Bella more than Forks?"

"Charlie, Forks is so much a part of you. The whole time you were at school in California you did nothing but pine for home, I remember. When we decided to get married, there was no question that we'd live in Forks. It was a package deal."

"I do love Forks, Renee, but I loved you and Bella more. You should have given me the choice." He sounded agonized.

The three of us sat there in uncomfortable silence, Charlie was staring at Renee, Renee was looking down at her hands, and I was watching them both, a fly on the wall.

Finally Renee spoke, "I guess, Charlie, I was too close to it. I suppose in a way, I identified you with Forks so at the time, I felt like leaving you was the same as leaving Forks. I know now that it really wasn't you at all. I am sorry I did that to you. But really, would you have been happy anywhere else other than your home?"

Charlie sighed, "Renee, if there's one thing I've learned over the years is that your home is where your heart is. You took mine with you when you left and I've never had a home since. If you had given me the choice, I would have gone with you and Bella."

Renee didn't have much to say after that. She finally said, "Charlie, I am so sorry. More sorry than I can say."

We all sat around looking at the ashes of Charlie's life until he stood up, "Well, what's happen has happened. There's nothing we can do about it now except make the best of it and go on. That's what I've always done and that's the choice I am making now. I am going up to bed. Goodnight."

I stared at Renee as Charlie left us. She looked at me and said once he was safely upstairs, "I guess I screwed up."

"I know how Charlie felt, Mom."

She looked surprised, "You do?"

"Yes. When Edward left me all those years ago almost without a word, he gave me no choice either. He made a huge decision that concerned both of us without asking me for my opinion. He left and it felt like I died."

"But you got over it."

"I went on with my life, just like Charlie did. I got my education. I found my career. I guess to the outside observer, I was fine, I recovered. But I had just bottled up that part of me, the part that loves and is loved in return, and put it on the shelf. I wasn't interested in dating or being with a guy at all during those years. That part of my life was frozen.

"Charlie did the same thing. There's a part of him that is very lonely and aching for love. I wish he could find it. As for me, I have a second chance now and I don't want to lose it."

"You need to follow your heart, Bella. I don't want you living a life of regret."

"What if making a choice meant that I'd have to give something else up? Something else that's important to me?"

"Usually choices come with a price like that. Nothing ever is perfect. We just have to do the best we know how to do. Bella, you have to be able to live with the choices you make, just like I have to live with mine. I hate to see Charlie alone. He deserves a lot more than this. I hate that I did this to him. It was wrong of me not to give him his say. But he's right, some decisions you can't go back on. You just have to make the best of it. Bella, you need to do what's right for you."

I impulsively got out of my chair and hugged her. I was full of love for her and sadness that a decision she made such a long time ago ended up causing such grief for my father. However, I was beginning to see that this time around, it could very well be Renee that was left behind because of my decision. Karma is a bitch like that.

***Charlie's POV

Well, wasn't this a fine fecking kettle of FUBAR*?

I paced the small room I was staying in at Bella's. Renee was full of shit. Forks depressed her so she had to leave it and, by the way, take Bella and leave me in the process? What a crock.

I didn't believe her. I remembered those days, too. When she left town and got all better in the sunny south, what was to stop her from recognizing what she felt for me then, if she loved me? Once she was over her slump, why didn't she call?

It was simple. She didn't call because she didn't want Charlie Swan. I don't care how much window dressing she wanted to put on it. She was done with Forks and she was done with me. Fact.

And I was done with her. Finally.

I had lived with the pain of losing her for years and after one brief conversation, that pain had disappeared. I realized now that I didn't want her. She was too goofy, too unreliable. I wanted someone nice and relaxing with her feet firmly planted on the ground. Or, you know, maybe I didn't want any one at all.

I had to chuckle at myself. I was beginning to sound like Bella used to before she got reunited with that… Edward. I shuddered. We were going to have to talk about that. That's for damn sure.

The next day Renee left in a flurry of tears and hugs. I offered to drive her to the airport but she'd already arranged for a cab. It was just as well. Two hours in a confined space with her after last night's revelations was too much.

I did have some parting words for her, though.

"Renee, thank you for last night. It cleared the air. I didn't realize how much I needed that."

She looked surprised, "I am sorry I made so many mistakes."

"Can't be helped now. But it's okay."

She looked at me, her blue eyes were not quite so beautiful to me now, and I let her go, both figuratively and literally. It was a relief. I felt lighter, even glad.

Bella and I stood together watching the taxi take her away. Renee waved through the back window at us until she disappeared around the corner. I turned to Bella and saw she was crying. That was surprising, or maybe not. Maybe this was goodbye for her.

I said, "I think, young lady, it's time we had a talk. Call Edward and ask him to come over. I want to talk to him, too."

***EPOV

Bella's concerto was coming along nicely. I had the first two movements down and the third was coming along but I couldn't finish it. I suppose that was because I didn't know what the finish to our story was, yet. I was fine tuning the bass line when my phone rang. It was Bella. I wasn't at all surprised to find that now that Renee was gone, Charlie wanted to speak to the both of us. I didn't blame him.

When I arrived at Bella's house, I found them both seated in the living room. Instead of Vitamin R, Charlie had to make do with PBR*.

Charlie nodded at me, "Edward."

I nodded back at him, "Chief Swan."

"I am not a chief here, Edward. Call me Charlie." Well, that was friendly, at least.

Since Charlie was sitting in the upholstered chair, I sat on the sofa next to Bella. I smiled at her and reached for her hand, "How are you feeling today?"

"Better. Hardly any tenderness at all," she put her hand to her temple as she smiled. I leaned over and kissed her hello.

Charlie cleared his throat, seemingly eager to interrupt our intimacy, "Okay. Now that Renee is out of here, we can lay our cards down on the table."

While Bella looked at her Dad in surprise, I looked at him in resignation and held her hand a little tighter. This was going to be a difficult discussion.

When Charlie said 'lay our cards on the table' he meant exactly that because that is exactly what he did. With no preamble he said, "Bella, I know that Jacob Black is responsible for your injury but more than that, I know that he is a werewolf and I know that Edward is a vampire."

I heard Bella gasp, but Charlie barreled on, "Let me rephrase that. I know that Jacob and several of his tribe are shape shifters and Edward and his entire family are vampires. Billy told me. He also told me that his tribe and vampires are enemies but they made a truce with the Cullens because the Cullens don't feed off of humans. And he told me that it was very likely that you have always known that Edward was a vampire since you were back in Forks."

I looked at Bella to see she had lost what little color she had. Her hand gripped mine, her eyes were huge and her heart beat double time. She was too stunned to speak.

I spoke in her place, "Bella couldn't share what she knew with you, Charlie."

"Bella didn't want to share what she knew, Edward, because she knew what my reaction would be."

Bella still couldn't say anything.

"And what would your reaction have been, Charlie?" I asked.

"What could it have been? I'd have gone ballistic and got her the hell out of there."

"It's better you didn't know then. Bella probably would have made a rash decision."

Charlie glared at me, "She would have done something she'd later regret because of you? What right do you have to influence Bella on anything?"

"I absolutely share your opinion, Charlie. That's the real reason I left Bella five years ago, not because I had grown tired of her, or that Carlisle had a new job. I realized how dangerous it was for me to be a part of her life so I left, never intending to interfere again."

"Well, why are we here then?"

"Because this time, Charlie, Bella came to me and asked me to be here."

Charlie shot an angry look at Bella, "Was that smart?"

Finally, Bella was stirred to respond, "I don't know, Dad, but it's what my heart wanted."

Charlie sighed, "So what are you going to do? What's going to happen?"

Bella answered, "Dad, I have two choices, really. The first is to go on as we have. Edward and I stay together until it becomes apparent that he's not aging and I am, then go our separate ways. The second would to become like Edward and be together forever."

Charlie's voice tightened, "And which are you going to choose?"

"I don't know. Edward and I tried being apart and it didn't work out for either of us. I just disregarded the hole in my heart that he left and did what needed to be done but there was an important part of me that was frozen, almost dead. I wasn't interested in dating. I wasn't interested in any of that sort of thing. But when I saw Edward again, I realized how much of myself I was ignoring and how I didn't want to ignore that part anymore. I know that if I didn't reconnect with Edward, I'd regret it until the day I died. You know how I feel, Dad. Last night, you told me and Renee that you'd have been with us given the chance. How can it be any different for me? I'm just like you.

"But making the decision to be with Edward forever is huge in more ways than I understand. Edward just got back from a trip to discover more information that could help me make this decision but, due to all the excitement, we haven't had a chance to discuss it any further."

"Hmmm. So you haven't made a decision?"

"No."

Charlie seemed satisfied with that for the moment, then he asked, "Edward, what do you want?"

I smiled and said simply, "I want Bella."

Charlie scowled at me, "How do you want Bella?"

"Any way she'll let me. I am hoping for her to decide to join me in this existence but I will respect any decision she makes and do whatever she wants."

Charlie paused for a moment in deep thought, then he asked, "What are the advantages of making the change? Other than the 'happily ever after' crap."

I really liked Charlie. He knew exactly how to get to the heart of the matter, so I answered, "Bella will be indestructible, certainly an advantage for her. She'll never get sick or hurt again."

"You mean there will be no more emergency calls from the hospital?"

"Never again."

"Hmmmm. Now that's a real advantage." Charlie looked appraisingly at Bella. Bella rolled her eyes.

"And, she'll be superhumanly strong and fast, have a photographic memory, and excel in any intellectual pursuit she chooses."

"She's already smart."

I nodded, "She's always been."

Bella was beginning to squirm in embarrassment.

Charlie then asked, "What are the down sides?"

It was my turn to sigh, "Blood lust. Humans are our natural prey and there's a constant desire to feed on them. With practice and discipline the desire goes away but it takes years. Newborns usually have to be kept away from humans for the first year or so because the lust is so overpowering."

Charlie blinked, "Newborn vampires, you mean?"

I nodded.

He went on, "You mean you want to take a hunk out of me right now?"

I laughed, "No. I am over that, I have been for a long time now. Falling in love with Bella made it completely disappear. But I can't predict how it will affect Bella if she makes the change."

Charlie nodded, "What else?"

"She can never have children."

"Oh… so no grandkids?"

"Not unless Bella has children beforehand."

"What else?"

"We have to keep our secret. That means moving every five to ten years or so. But one of Bella's biggest objections to an immortal life was having to leave you behind."

"You said something about that in the hospital. So now that I know, I can still have Bella in my life? No faking her death or anything?"

"Not from you, Charlie, but I don't know how we'll handle Bella's mother."

"You can't tell her?"

"No. We never tell anyone. Or at least we never did until I met Bella."

"Why was she different?" Charlie asked.

"Vampires mate forever. We have no control over it. Once we've met our mate, nothing works unless we are together. Bella was kind when she implied that my life went on like hers, full in all ways but emotionally. That really wasn't the case. The last five years of my life were spent looking out a window at a desolate Alaskan landscape and not much else. I can't 'live' without Bella being in my life.

"So when it was apparent to me and my family that I'd met my mate, the decision was made. It was inevitable. She's a part of the Cullen clan and will always be as far as any of us are concerned, no matter what decision Bella makes."

"Can Bella still be a teacher?"

"I don't see why not. Once she masters her blood lust, she can teach. She will just have to move periodically as we all do."

"But I can still see her?"

"At first maybe not, but you can talk on the phone, communicate through the computer. In a few years, you could see each other."

Charlie sat back, his wrinkled brow denoting his intense concentration.

"So, really this Vampire business isn't such a bad thing as long as you don't go snacking on the random person now and then?"

"Carlisle's example is the one that turned us from being monsters to being humane. I do want to tell you though, most of our kind feed off of people. The Cullens are considered misfits in their eyes."

Charlie shrugged as if that didn't matter to him. He turned to Bella and said, "Well Bells, you have a decision to make and that's no joke. As long as I can be a part of your life, I will support you whatever you decide to do. Just keep me in the loop, okay?"

Bella responded meekly, "Of course. Thank you, Dad."

The next day, Charlie left for the airport in his rental car. He gave Bella a hug and then turned to me and shook my hand, "Take care of her, Edward. She's all I've got."

I nodded and said goodbye and Bella and I stood hand in hand on her front porch and watched him drive away. Bella was a little teary but I think the conversation we had the day before set her mind at ease a bit.

After Charlie's car turned the corner, Bella turned to me, put her arm around my waist, leaned against me and whispered in my ear, "Let's go upstairs."

AN:

*FUBAR- Originally a military acronym standing for "fucked up beyond all recognition."

*PBR – Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Probably as crapy as Rainier Beer (Vitamin R) but I can't vouch for that, having never tried Vitamin R. I can tell you that PBR sucks.

Please leave a review. Spice up ahead.


Chapter 17: Chapter 17: Passion


AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its Universe. I just borrowed the crew for a bit.

THERE BE LEMONS IN THIS CHAPTER. If you are under the age of 18, it would squidge me out if I knew you were reading this because you aren't supposed to know about sex AT ALL.

All snarkiness aside, according to the Terms of Service on this website, if you are under the age of 18, you aren't supposed to be reading stories of right in your face sexual content and this chapter has it. This is a warning that you should not be violating TOS here. You could skip this chapter and still get the rest of the story, if you wanted to.

Chapter 17 Passion

***BPOV

Edward and I stood on my porch and watched my pretty amazing father get in his car and leave for the airport. I was a lot happier today watching him leave than I was yesterday watching Renee pull out. There was a good chance I'd never see Renee again, or at least she'd never see me. But thanks to my father's knowledge and sensiblity, no matter what choice I made, I was going to have Charlie in my future. That thought made me ecstatic.

I turned to Edward and realized for the first time in almost two weeks we were alone and all the ecstasy that I had been feeling over a future with my father transformed into the fact that Edward and I had this moment all to ourselves. My wanton side reared her head and I snuggled into his side, put my arms around his waist and whispered, "Let's go upstairs" in his ear.

Edward had wrapped his arm around me in his response to my closeness but when he heard my suggestion, he froze. I wasn't exactly sure how he took my idea but suddenly he was a whirlwind of motion. The door was slammed behind us and I was whisked upstairs into my bedroom before I could even laugh.

"I hope my front door is still on its hinges," I said.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and said, "I'll fix it later."

He inhaled deeply then looked at me in that old dazzling way and said, "I want you, Bella."

My wanton side was hyperventilating. I couldn't form any words. I simply wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. That was all the encouragement he needed. His lips parted and he pulled me into an electric kiss that completely overwhelmed me.

Before I was aware of us moving, I was lying on my bed. He stood back and gazed down at me, not saying a word, his eyes roaming my body. I was beginning to feel a little self-conscious when he whispered, "My heart, may I make love to you?"

I smiled shyly and blushed but nodded and said simply, "Yes, please."

I sat up to take off my blouse but Edward stopped me.

"Let me, Bella," his whisper was heavy with desire.

He laid down next to me, cupped my face in his hands and placed the sweetest of kisses on my nose, my eyes, my cheeks, and finally on my lips. My heart raced and my fingers feverishly wound through his bronze hair.

I was gasping for breath as he trailed his lips along my jaw, and then sucked on the lobe of my ear, his hands were unbuttoning my blouse. His lips followed his fingers and soon my blouse was on the floor, my jeans were quick to follow.

Edward worshipped my body with his lips, following my bra straps down my arms with his tongue and lips. I was getting goose bumps. He gently pulled my panties slowly down my legs and removed them as he stood. I was completely naked and he gazed at me with fire in his eyes and awe on his face. "Bella, you are simply beyond beautiful."

He quickly stripped off his clothes and I caught my breath. I had never seen his entire body before and it was perfect. I reached out as he stretched upon the bed and softly stroked his chest, his stomach, his hip. "You take my breath away, Edward."

His eyes were a burning umber and he kissed me once more, his tongue parting my lips to lovingly caress my own. I could feel every inch of him along my body and it felt good.

Wanton Bella, my needy side, was having a field day but Isabella, my practical side, had some questions. Why, being the biggest one. What had changed so much that Edward wanted to make love now when he was so reluctant before? He had been afraid of hurting me – was he no longer?

Isabella had a big mouth. Even though Edward and I were lying together, naked on my bed, deep in a passionate kiss, our hands exploring each other's bodies, Isabella was whining louder and louder. Wanton Bella was telling her to shut the hell up. I was caught between my two halves and feeling really frustrated that I just couldn't relax and let what happened happen.

It surprised me when Edward pulled back and said, "Bella, are you having second thoughts?"

"No, not second thoughts, just questions that I am trying to convince myself to wait to ask until afterwards." I was lightly tracing the muscles in his arm.

"Why wait to ask?"

"Because I have wanted this for six years, Edward. I've wanted to feel your naked body pressed against mine. I wanted to feel your unbridled kisses. I've wanted your hands to touch my breasts, your lips to caress my thighs, your body finally fully enveloped in mine. Before, you'd never let it get this far. Now, seemingly you want it, too, and I am afraid that if I question you, you'll stop and go back to holding me at arm's length. I think that would frustrate me to death."

Okay. Damn party pooper Isabella had her say. Wanton Bella was in a snit.

Edward, completely ignorant of my internal argument, just held me closer. He smiled and I could feel him hard against my thigh. "Bella, I was scared before because my desire for you frightened me. My fear dictated how I treated you and I've realized that was no way to nurture the kind of relationship that I truly wanted. I've decided not to be fearful any longer. I am just going to love you, if you will let me."

That shut Isabella up and Wanton Bella let out a delighted sigh.

"Love me then, Edward," was all I said.

And so, he did.

***EPOV

I am the first to admit I don't know anything about sex. Well, not exactly anything but not much either. I knew the mechanics. The "Insert tab A into slot B" sort of thing and I knew what and where the points of interest are on the female body but the rest was all academic to me.

I'd never touched another woman's body but Bella's in a sexual way even before I was changed. I'd never wanted anyone else. So when Bella asked me to love her, I went completely upon instinct and the overpowering hunger I felt for her.

It wasn't my old hunger, the thirst that used to scald my throat and demanded that I drink her down until she was spent. That madness had disappeared. Now, it was the merest echo when I inhaled her delicious scent. Since I finally recognized and understood the extent of my love for her, I could never see her in that way again. As I had told Charlie, my love canceled out the thirst.

The hunger that overwhelmed me now was that of a man for a woman, in every way a man could have a woman – soul, body, and mind. I knew on some basic level, that Bella loved me with her soul, she wanted to love me with her body and I was enticing her mind to love me, too. I wanted to be what Bella wanted in a lover, a companion, and a mate. I was determined to be that. I wanted to fulfill her desires so that she was sated and only could be by me. Yes. My possessiveness was still there. But that was a human emotion, no? I'd roll with it.

I started with kisses. I kissed her lips, her neck her ears, across her shoulders, and down her arms, lingering on the palm of her hands. I kissed her soft stomach, circled around her navel, then up to her breasts, now kissing, now tasting, and drawing sensuous circles with my tongue until I reached the rosebud perfection of her nipples. I teased them, watching them rise into needy peaks, then I took them one at a time into my mouth and suckled them.

I listened to Bella's moans in response to my caresses. I paid attention to her heart beat and her soft gasps, focusing on the activities that increased both. At the same time I was rather surprised at my own body's reaction to our foreplay. I'd never felt or imagined anything as soft as her breasts or as smooth as the skin of her hips. The more I touched and kissed and tasted, the more I had to. The venom that used to flood my mouth in her presence had dried up leaving my parched throat aching with only sexual desire.

Each sensation seemed better than the last. I let my hand drift down her body until I reached the soft hair that covered her pubis. My fingers trailed down her nether lips and then I dragged my middle finger up, parting her and relishing the newfound moisture there. Bella's breath caught in her throat at this sensation and I smiled against her lips gauging her reaction. Suddenly, I caught the enticing aroma of Bella's arousal. I nestled my face into her neck kissing and sucking there as my finger boldly dipped into the source of her scent again. My thumb gently tickled her clitoris and she moaned my name again and again.

My own delight was magnified when Bella started tracing the muscles along my chest and arms. I groaned passionately when she started to kiss my neck and nibbled my ear lobe. Then to my utter delight, her hand slipped softly down and grasped me, rubbing me with her palm. Each touch set off a fire within that only she could quench. If my heart could beat, it would have jumped out of my chest at that moment.

"Bella, oh Bella, what you do to me," I groaned.

From that point on, I stopped thinking and let my body do what it craved. I rolled over to lie between her legs, pushing her thighs apart with my own. I looked deeply into her eyes and asked, "Will you let me love you, Bella?"

She smiled gently at me, her eyes filled with urgent desire, her fingers weaving through my hair, "Oh Edward, yes."

I watched her expression as I pressed into her, enjoying each flicker of emotion that crossed her face. At the same time, I was feeling quite overwhelmed with my own powerful sensations but not so oblivious that I didn't notice the tiny grimace she made as I was fully sheathed within her.

"Bella, should I stop?"

"No, Edward. Please don't. My body's just getting used to you. It actually feels quite wonderful now."

I was certainly glad she wanted to continue. My desire for her had grown exponentially. I had wanted our love making to be gentle and sweet but I could tell I wouldn't be able to keep it slow. In fact, as I started moving, I couldn't help but to thrust faster and faster. The friction our bodies created was driving me insane. I was delighted when I realized Bella was rising to meet me stroke for stroke.

I bent down to take one of her nipples into my mouth, licking it with my tongue in tight circles. Bella cried out my name and arched her body like a bow as I continued to move over her. My dazed brain finally realized that Bella was climaxing and that was all it took for my own to follow, completely blowing any intelligent thought out of my head altogether.

I collapsed on top of her, not knowing any words that could accurately describe my feelings. I could lie like this forever with this woman and every day I'd just love her more, desire her more, want her more. Bella's arms were still around me and she was softly caressing my back. Making love with me didn't hurt Bella, at least not how I had once been fearful of hurting her. I was completely contented and happy. I hoped she was as well.

I raised my head to look at her, not really knowing what expression I'd see on her face. This was uncharted territory for both of us and I had yet to win her mind. Our eyes met and shared a solemn moment. I think we were both waiting for the other's reaction. I smiled. She smiled back and said, "I'm alive!"

We both laughed at that and I hugged her and I said, "I guess they're right when they say 'love conquers all'." I paused a bit and then added, "It seemed like I hurt you for a moment. Are you okay?"

"It was my first time, Edward. A little pain is to be expected. And it was just a little pain. What followed after was purely amazing."

I rolled out of her arms and pulled her against me so she nestled on my chest. I sighed happily, "I wasn't really worried, Bella. Carlisle and I discussed our situation in detail. Many things he told me set my mind at ease."

Bella's voice sounded a little outraged, "So, you did talk to Carlisle about having sex with me!"

"Well, among many other things, yes. There were things I needed to consider at length before I pursued you. And there is no 'Vampire Sex for Dummies' book out there."

"What things did you talk about?"

"Like whether we'd 'fit.' Whether I'd hurt you or worse. Contraception. That sort of thing."

"Oh, Lord. I'll never be able to look Carlisle in the eye again." She buried her face in my neck but soon, curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "Just what did he say?"

"He believed we would fit because you are a normal woman and I am built like a normal man and my body responds like a man's would, in any case. With my thirst gone, I can give into my sexual desire for you without worrying about hurting you."

"You don't thirst for my blood anymore?"

"I suppose that if I could forget my deep devotion to you, Bella, it would resurrect itself. But the love I have for you has supplanted it. Honestly, all I feel now is how the human me would feel. That takes precedence over everything. I will never hurt you, Bella. It's something I should have recognized years ago."

She was quiet for a bit as she shifted position on top of me, allowing her legs to straddle one of mine. I could feel her thigh pressing up against me and my eager body began to respond to her again. She was going to think I am insatiable. Maybe I was.

"Edward, what did Carlisle say about contraception? Since there aren't a bunch of baby vampires running around casa de Cullen courtesy of your family's activities, I hadn't thought that would be an issue between us."

"It is unlikely, yes. But there are stories about incubi and succubae. Have you ever heard of them?" She shook her head no. "The myth is these supernatural beings come in the night to sexually assault humans. There are rumors that offspring have been produced from these couplings. We have to pay attention to myths because so frequently there's more truth in them than anyone realizes. Concerning the incubi and succubae, I know that some of my kind do have sex with humans – my cousins in Alaska for example – but I've never heard of children being the result of one of those relationships. Actually, Carlisle and I found that I was sterile."

Bella blinked up at me not knowing whether to be shocked or amused. "You're sterile? Did you have the mumps or something?"

I snorted, "No, Bella. I think it is just the nature of Vampirism. We have no living cells – at least not as a human being would define them. To be sure, we tested my ejaculate to see what it was composed of. We were specifically looking at venom concentrations. I didn't want to injure you or change you while loving you." I gently stroked her back along her spine. "There were no spermatozoa either."

"You tested your ejaculate! How did you manage that?" Bella was shocked now.

I smiled wickedly, "Oh, by thinking of you…"

Bella smacked my chest, "Edward! What Carlisle must think of us?"

I was genuinely amused now, loving her blush, our teasing, "Bella, Carlisle is a doctor and he knows how much I love you. He had always hoped I'd be able to fully express it for you. He wants us to be happy. We had to make sure there weren't going to be any unexpected side effects. Carlisle is for this," I waved my hand over the two of us lying entwined and naked on her bed, "One hundred per cent."

We were quiet for a moment, and then Bella said, "So, no children for us." She didn't sound happy or sad about that, just stated that fact.

"No, Bella. I am afraid not, at least not in the normal way. Does that upset you?"

"To be honest, I've never thought of being a mother before. So, I can't answer that question. Right now, it doesn't make me feel one way or the other."

"If that became an issue, my love, we could do what Carlisle and Esme did – adopt. Or you could have a baby through other means – artificial insemination or a surrogate. It's up to you."

She studied me for a moment, "We are sure looking down the road a bit. You and I becoming parents together assumes a lot of things that haven't necessarily happened yet, Edward."

Sighing I said, "I understand. You are right. We have a lot to work out." I looked down at her with a crooked smile, "But I love how we have begun to work on it." I knew by now she must have felt my erection against her thigh, so I pressed against her making my point.

She giggled, ducking her head into my chest, "I suppose one advantage of being a vampire is a short recovery time."

"And stamina. Don't forget that." I kissed her head. "I don't want to wear you out, Bella. So we'll take this easily. I'll do whatever you wish."

"Well, what I wish is to seduce you again."

Edward laughed and said, "It is my pleasure to please you, ma'am. It's not seduction when it was my own intent from the beginning."

She lifted her leg that was resting in between mine and swung it over so that she straddled me and rubbed herself against me. I gasped in delight.

"I love how you loved me, Edward Cullen," she said and then softly slipped onto me, "now let me show you how I love you."

And the rest was pure bliss.

****BPOV

When we got out of bed the next morning, I was walking like a 90 year old woman. Make that a relaxed 90 year old woman with a huge smile on her face. Edward noticed my hobbling step and quickly ran a hot bath for me. He thought to add the bath salts that Alice and Jasper had given me on my birthday.

Edward was remorseful at my condition but underneath I think he was proud. I was no sorer than anyone would have been had they made love a half a dozen times throughout the night. While I was soaking, Edward brought me some hot tea and then sat on the commode lid as I luxuriated in my wonderful bath tub.

"Edward, you'll have to join me in here one day. There's plenty of room for two."

He gave me that crooked, bits melting half-smile and said, "I will look forward to it but for now, you need to recuperate."

I sipped my tea gazing at him over the rim of my teacup. Edward was dressed in black jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. Both fit him well enough so that his physique was evident. His hair actually did look like sex hair but it had good reason to, I guess. I rarely had my hands out of it last night.

I could feel that flutter of desire stir again within me. It was then that I noticed Edward was studying me as I was studying him. I blushed, remembering where my mind had been. I couldn't remember feeling as happy as I was feeling at this moment. Edward sat there smiling at me and looking like he felt as content as I did.

"What are your plans for today?" I asked.

"I think you're the one with a schedule. I have no plans but I would like to talk to you. I want to tell you about my trip."

"And I am excited to hear about what you found."

"Do you think we could pull Carlisle into our conversation, though? I've not told him about what I found either and I want him to hear. He may be able to share some additional insight on my observations."

"That sounds like a good idea. We can go over after I'm finished here."

I stretched out a little, letting the water warm my weary muscles. It felt wonderful. I looked at my darling Edward and smiled, "Edward, do you think you may choose a music career?"

"It's possible. I've been feeling a huge compulsion to compose lately. I can't seem to pass the piano lately without sitting down and working on some aspect of my concerto."

"Wow, a concerto. That sounds pretty difficult. You are a very good musician, Edward."

"Thank you but you'd be surprised how good you'd be at something if you had all eternity to learn how to do it." There was a pause as I was reminded of other things that Edward seemed to have a natural talent in. I had a mischievous idea.

I set my cup of tea down on the cabinet next to the tub and then reached for the bath sponge; my movements were languid, as if I was taking pleasure in each subtle gesture. I lathered up the sponge with my favorite mint and oatmeal bar soap and then started washing my body, starting with my left shoulder and arm. I rubbed the sponge in circular motions as I lifted my arm out of the water, letting little droplets trickle down back into the bath.

"So, Edward, you think you'll go back to school?"

He cleared his throat and I looked up at him as I moved from my arm to my neck and chest, still gently rubbing my body. He had a look of consternation on his face as if he was trying not to think of something but he was studying each swipe of the sponge in fascination.

"I am not sure. If I did, I may have to leave Winchester and I don't want to go away right now."

I moved on to my right arm.

"Could you do distance learning, Edward?"

"Perhaps." He was intently watching as the sponge drifted along my arm. I soaped the sponge again, this time moving on to my breasts.

"I've heard the Shenandoah Conservatory of Arts is good. Perhaps you could see a counselor there?"

"Hmmm, that's a thought…" his sentence drifted to a stop.

I could actually see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. I cocked my head to the side and gave my left boob another swish. I half closed my eyes, took a deep breath and once again swished the same spot. My nipples were peaked. I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye and was surprised to find him, not looking at my breasts, but staring intensely at my face. I swished again and gazed deeply back into his eyes and bit my bottom lip.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

"Bathing, Edward."

"I think your left breast is beyond clean by now, Bella."

I looked down at myself and swiped at it again, "You think so, Edward?"

"I do. You aren't very good at bathing yourself." The next thing I knew he was kneeling next to the tub and taking the sponge from my hand.

"Let me," he whispered. He stared deeply into my eyes as he soaped the sponge and started to gently bathe me. He never broke our gaze as he washed me, just used his sense of touch to know where his hands were and what they were doing. The love and desire he felt for me shone clearly in his eyes the whole while. I reached out of the water and cupped the side of his face, I am sure the same feelings were reflecting in mine.

"I love you, Edward," was all I could say.

He leaned in and his lips caressed mine as he breathed, "I love you, now and forever."

Holy Smokes this was paradise!

"You could always be my Cabana Boy, Edward."

He snorted, "Cabana boy?"

"Yes. Be a stay at home Cabana Boy. Your career would be to take care of me."

"Sort of like a house husband."

"Cabana Boy sounds sexier."

"Would I have a uniform?"

I mused as he picked up one of my legs and started to wash my foot, "Well, when you had to wear something, I guess tight jeans and a t-shirt would work. I would spend my time ogling your ass and pecs."

He grinned, "Can I ogle you, as well?"

"I'd get the better end of that deal, I think, but sure," I grinned back at him.

His eyes twinkled at me as he moved the sponge up my leg, "And what exactly is the job description for a Cabana Boy?"

I leaned back against the rounded tub side, trying to ignore the sponge as it neared my bits and pieces, "Well, you'd have to keep me clean."

"Check," he said.

"And you'd have to keep me entertained," he rubbed the sponge against my upper inner thigh.

"Check."

"There must be daily make out sessions," I added.

"Check. Definitely, Check," he gave me a sample kiss. It was good.

"Also, you'd have to give mind blowing orgasms on a frequent basis," I was a little breathy now.

"Mind-blowing? I could try."

As he started to rub the sponge between my legs, I muttered, "I don't think you'd have to try very hard." I gripped the sides of the tub as he concentrated his efforts for a while.

"Anything else?"

"Uhm…" I was getting close. "Uhm…. I can't … think…of…anyth—OH, EDWAAAAARD!" I involuntarily drew my knees up to my chest in electric reaction to Edward's talented touch. I squeezed my eyes shut, savoring the feelings coursing through me and trying to get my breath.

I opened my eyes and saw him smiling smugly at me, "I guess I get the job, don't I?"

I laughed, stood up on shaky legs and reached for my towel.

"No! Let me! That's a Cabana Boy responsibility, I believe." He deftly wrapped the towel around me and then lifted me out of the tub, drying me off with its fluffy folds.

"I'll let you know about the job. I am not sure Cabana Boy was the sort of occupation your poor mother Elizabeth thought would be your destiny, or Carlisle for that matter."

"It is obvious to me and everyone in my family now and it would have also been obvious to my human mother that you are part of my destiny, call me a Cabana Boy, or whatever else you can think of. I am yours."

I wrapped the towel around myself and went to the sink to brush my teeth. I noticed Edward was draining and wiping the tub. He definitely was first in line for the Cabana Boy job. I wouldn't even have to train him. He's golden.

Going into the bedroom, I slipped on a matching bra and panty set and my favorite jeans and top (an original 2005 Nine Inch Nail tour tee), and started to brush my hair. Edward followed me across the hall and was leaning in the doorway watching me with a bemused look on his face.

"What are you thinking about there, Cabana Boy?"

"How good this feels to me."

"This?" I looked at him curiously.

"Just being together, talking, teasing, et cetera."

"It is nice. I've enjoyed it, too. Especially the et cetera." I set my brush down and walked over to him, grinning. "This is fun."

Edward looked at me intently, "We could do this for the rest of forever, Bella."

"It's tempting."

"So, will you?"

I sighed, knowing I needed more information, "Let's go see Carlisle."

AN: So? What did you think? Please review and let me know.


Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Family Matters


AN: Okay, kids. A lemon ahead. Thanks to MissBellaIII for her good advice and encouragement. And thanks to the rest of you for reading and leaving reviews.

Chapter 18 Family

*** EPOV

Bella and I walked hand-in-hand into the Cullen home to find the whole crew sitting around the dining room table. They watched us with various degrees of anticipation on their faces.

"Ah, we've been expecting you," Carlisle said, then gestured to the two empty seats at the table. I was smugly satisfied when I noticed there was one more chair there than previously. It made an even eight places at our family table. Bella was now a Cullen whether she realized it or not.

I looked at Alice and said, "You gave everyone a psychic heads up, didn't you?"

Alice just grinned. She was seated at the table but just barely. She was buzzing with excitement having to hold herself in her seat to stay in one place, which in itself gave me my own heads up. This meeting might be more portentous than I originally had thought.

I held a chair out for Bella to sit in and I took the one next to her. I said, "I guess all of you are interested in what I found in Europe?"

Most of my family seemed fairly curious about what I was going to say. Alice, as I had already noticed, was buzzing. Jasper seemed more amused at his wife's antics than anything about me. Emmett was stretched out in his seat, hands behind his head, grinning with good humor, ready for any adventure that could be coming his way. Rosalie sat at his side, studying her nails with a bored look. Esme was next to Carlisle, wearing a serene and loving expression, totally happy to have her whole family together at last.

Their minds were all saying basically the same thing, "We've waited long enough. Now give!" Actually, Rosalie was thinking more along the lines of "Get it over with, moron." Rose was good for my ego. She always made sure I never got conceited.

In his thoughts, Emmett also wanted to know why we were so late getting there. I shot him a 'mind your own business' look but Emmett snickered anyway. He knew what had most likely distracted us. Alice had us gather twice before and then sent us away. She said you and Bella kept getting side tracked.

Probably everyone sitting there knew the reason we were so tardy. I reached for Bella's hand and held it securely on my lap. I hoped for her sake, they all kept those particular thoughts in their heads.

I couldn't help, though, but to look around the table at each family member and smile happily. I was in love with my perfect Bella, who miraculously loved me back. The consummation of our relationship had left me euphoric. This moment was perfect.

Jasper arched his eyebrow and grinned right back at me, Damn, Edward. Happy much?

All I could do was smile.

Carlisle cleared his throat and requested patiently, "Edward?"

I chuckled, "Okay. Okay. Actually, my trip to the Romanians was pretty interesting. The setting was so clichéd, though. Creepy old castle, Lurch-like butler, lightening, bats in the belfrey. It was really hard to take the old vampires seriously. They seemed to enjoy the theatrics.

"Curiously, Vladimir and Stefan appeared to be asleep on their thrones when Rüdiger and I arrived. At first, I couldn't hear a thought from them and was worried." I looked over at Bella, "I was afraid they could block my gift as you are able to. But as soon as Lurch announced us, they 'woke' up and were immediately aware of us and I could 'hear' their thoughts.

"I've never seen or heard of a vampire being able to shut down his mind and give the appearance of, for all intents and purposes, sleep."

Carlisle was quiet for a bit then said, "I think it is a learned behavior or perhaps as a vampire 'matures,' for lack of a better term, they can achieve some sort of zen-like state. I've seen it before but not as deeply, with one of the Volturi. Vladimir and Stefan are much older than the Italians."

Emmett looked at Carlisle, the oldest of us by centuries, and asked, "Have you ever felt like you were getting sleepy, Carlisle?"

Carlisle laughed, "I am afraid not but I am considered fairly young in their eyes. Maybe it is something that we can look forward to when we are a couple a thousand years old?"

I shrugged. The lack of the ability to sleep was one thing I regretted only when I was repeating high school forever or when I was pining for Bella. I had no desire to sleep any longer.

Carlisle went on, "So what were they thinking, Edward?"

"They were curious about me. At least Stefan was. Vladimir was simply suspicious. Carlisle, did you know that Stefan preferred men to women?"

"Uh. Well, yes. He makes it pretty clear to the men he is interested in," Carlisle looked down at the table for a bit, his mouth pursed. He always made me very uncomfortable. Stefan must have approached Carlisle in the past.

Emmett choked out a laugh, "Did he come on to you, bro? That must have been disturbing."

I shook my head, "No, Emmett, but I could read his mind. I think the line of questioning Rüdiger was putting Vladimir through got us chased out of there before he could make a proposition. I was pretty relieved. He wasn't my type."

After the laughter died down, Carlisle prompted, "So, what other things did you discover?"

"They were worried that if I touched them, I'd learn their secrets. Evidently there's someone in Volterra who can do that."

Carlisle snorted, "Aro can read every thought anyone ever had but he has to be touching them. That's probably what they were afraid of with you. They didn't want to take any chances."

"Fortunately, they didn't learn of my talent, at least as far as I knew.

"Rüdiger was the chief questioner. I could pick their brains while they concentrated on my companion. They first seemed surprised we were looking for a vagabond vampire named Helmut. We floated the idea that we wanted to ask him questions about 'the old ones.' That inspired quite a violent internal reaction from Vladimir. He didn't want us to know anything and was inwardly shouting about it.

"The thoughts I was able to glean during our conversation were:

We'd never learn anything from Helmut because they had made sure that no artifacts concerning the origins could be found.

We weren't going to learn anything about 'the old ones" from them. They don't tell people anything useful. They like knowing things that others don't.

There used to be many more vampires in their vicinity.

The Volturi destroyed the other Romanian vampires and crippled Vladimir and Stefan's power.

Vladimir would like vengeance on the Volturi.

Stefan pictured the vampiric beginnings in a place that looked a lot like the Nile River Valley. I suppose it could have also been the Euphrates, as well. There were palm trees, stone buildings and hidden beings who shunned the light. There was a female vampire with long, straight black hair who was standing in the shadows of one of those stone buildings.

Vladimir said nonchalantly that the 'old ones' were mythical creatures. He thought much differently and much more vehemently.

Vladimir used to have a mate who deserted him. Her name was Ammut. She must have been the one to change Vladimir in the first place. He still mourns her memory and wonders where she went. Stefan refers to her as the Egyptian bitch and hates when Vladimir thinks about her because he becomes difficult to live with. Evidently, her practice was to go from lover to lover over the millennia. I got the impression that Vladimir was just one in a long line.

There is a recipe for blood beer.

Emmett shouted, "HOT DAMN! Vampire beer! You've got to give me the recipe."

"Dude, it sounds putrid to me but whatever floats your boat," I commented.

I turned to the others, "That's all I got out of them. When I got back here, I researched Ammut to see if I could find any human historical notes on her and discovered that she was an Egyptian demoness and was feared as the eater of hearts, devourer of souls. She disposed of those who weren't considered good enough for the afterlife. That's a suitable occupation for a vampire, don't you think?"

Alice spoke up, "How does this information help Bella make her decision, though?"

I looked over at Bella and said, "It illustrates that vampire mates are eternal. She'd never have to worry about our relationship palling but unless we find something significant to do with ourselves, we'll end up as dried out, angry and vengeful as Vladimir and Stefan are and bored out of our minds as Ammut evidently became."

"But evidently Ammut was a player," Rosalie stated.

"Yes, she was but I don't think she was 'mated' to Vladimir. I think he was to her, though. He still suffers greatly from her loss and is very loyal to her memory."

I turned to Carlisle, "Can you parse together anything else from what I learned?"

"I think you did well, son. I remember whispers about the old ones and it does seem likely that some of them, at least, found their origins in the Middle East or African Continent. The old ones were the progenitors, the first. As far as I know, no one knows how it all began but the old ones were the first. I've also heard rumors that the old ones have fallen asleep. The revitalizing word or phrase has been forgotten and so they sleep on.

"This reminds me of what you witnessed when you first saw the Romanians. What exactly did, er, Lurch, say when he announced you to them?"

I thought for a bit, "He cleared his voice and said, 'Herr Rüdiger von Warsteiner *and Mr. Edward Cullen.'"

Emmett snickered at Rüdiger's last name. Dude, I have got to meet this guy!

Carlisle said, "Your names were unique to the situation. Perhaps it was the throat clearing that was an auditory clue for them to pay attention and reanimate themselves or maybe it was something entirely. I don't think this should concern us too much but it does imply that eternity eventually becomes tedious. It's something to think about."

"I suppose it's how you spend your eternity, though," Esme said. She had been quietly listening to us. "I am sure that anything could become dull if you weren't doing anything but selfish acts. It didn't sound to me if the Romanians had ever done anything for others. Perhaps the Egyptians were the same way. That's what happens when you only think of what you want. Your existence becomes boring."

All the more reason for us to stop the High School farce we'd been playing for decades and get busy with making something out of ourselves. I didn't say this out loud, though. This revelation was one my brothers and sisters needed to discover for themselves.

I had said all that I had to say, reported all that I had found. Other than a few curiosities, and the reaffirmation of the eternal bonding of vampire mates, I hadn't said anything very unexpected or portentous. I wondered why Alice had been so keyed up? Perhaps it was coming.

Carlisle stood from the table, "Unless anyone has anything to add, I think we are finished here."

No one said anything, so I stood and gave Bella my hand. She had been quiet during the meeting and I was very curious to ask what she was thinking, but I thought it would be better to ask in private.

There was a general exodus from the dining room. Carlisle silently informed me that the family was going hunting leaving the house for Bella and me to enjoy alone.

Esme said to Bella, "If you get hungry, Bella, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator and I baked a quiche for you this morning. Please help yourself."

"Thank you very much, Esme. That's very kind." Bella smiled lovingly at my mother. I hoped this time Esme didn't confuse the ingredients.

With my family heading for the National Park that was nearby, I took Bella upstairs to my room. As soon as I shut the door, I turned to her, scooped her up and dumped her in the middle of my bed, then slid on top of her. She laughed in surprise, "Edward, you just can't wait to break in this new bed!"

I laughed as I embraced her, marveling at how good it felt to hold and kiss her like this. "Heaven," I sighed.

"What?" Bella asked.

"This is like heaven to me," I kissed her again but I rolled off of her. I wanted to talk before we got distracted. It was very easy to get distracted.

I cradled her in my arms and asked, "Do you have any thoughts about what we talked about downstairs?"

"I am still processing some of it as well as the things I learned from Charlie and Renee while they were here."

I was surprised at the last, "Really?"

"Yes. I think the fact that Charlie accepted that there may be a change in store for me so easily had a lot to do with the fact that my life was beginning to be a carbon copy of his and he didn't want that for me."

"A carbon copy?"

"Yes. It seems Renee left him without any discussion or any choice in the manner all those years ago and he's spent his whole adult life pining for her. I think he's been very lonely and I don't think he wants that for me, even if it means I'll have to become a vampire to stay with you. He wants me to be happy."

Way to go, Charlie!

Bella went on, "Your discoveries in Transylvania only reinforced what I already knew, because not only eternity gets boring without a bigger purpose to it, a human life gets boring, too… and it doesn't surprise me that you can love someone forever."

She whispered the last part and looked at me with her chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't resist kissing her again. Her lips were soft and warm and delicious. I could spend eternity just kissing her but I don't think Bella would consider that a 'bigger purpose' enough for me.

But the human had to breathe. Bella pulled away smiling, "So when are you going to Chicago to check on your personal history?"

"Since I came back to Winchester earlier than I had originally planned, I hadn't thought much more about it. I still want to go, though. Perhaps, you could go with me?"

"I'd love to, Edward, but could we work around my work schedule? I can't afford to take any more time off."

"We could do that. We could go on long weekend. Do have anything like that coming up?"

"I think we have Columbus Day off, or the Monday closest to Columbus Day."

"That's only in a couple of weeks."

"Can you wait that long?"

I slid my hand under Bella's t-shirt and said, "I believe I can find something to keep me busy until then."

*** Charlie's POV

I settled in my seat in the coach section of the airplane that was taking me back to "gloomy" Forks. I snorted, thinking of what Renee had said. Oh, well. My motto has always been not to worry about shit I couldn't do anything about. I couldn't do anything about Bella except keep my door open. She was going to do what she was going to do, and my gut told me she was going to be with Edward. My gut was usually right. As long as I got to be a part of her life, I wasn't going to worry about anything else.

I thought back over the revelations I had over the past week.

My best friend's kid was a werewolf. I couldn't do anything about that.

My daughter was in love with a vampire. Couldn't do anything about that, either.

Because he was a vampire, she was probably going to become a vampire herself. Also, nothing I could do anything about without destroying our relationship.

And my ex-wife was an idiot. Didn't care to do anything about that.

However, after Renee's confession that she left me and took our daughter with her for no better reason than she didn't like the rain*, I realized that I could do something about how I dealt with that. I could stop being hung up over her.

I reclined my seat a little and crossed my legs. A few minutes later, the flight attendant leaned over me, smiled and asked me if she could get me anything.

She was damn cute. I smiled back at her and said, "Ya got any Rainier beer?"

She laughed and said with a Pacific Northwest inflection, "Good old Vitamin R? I am afraid not but I know where they serve it in SeaTac."

"Yeah? Maybe you could show me when this tin can lands?"

She grinned and gave me an appraising look, "Well, maybe I could."

After making arrangements to meet her after the flight, she left to do her duties. I leaned back in my seat, smiling and self-satisfied. It's about time Ol' Charlie started living again. Hmmm…maybe it was time to lose the 'stache?

***BPOV

Each time we made love, it was better and better and sweeter and sweeter. I felt like I was floating as I laid in his arms, enjoying the afterglow of glorious intimacy. We had finally broken in his bed – and his floor for that matter. I smiled remembering how he worshipped me with his body, his lips kissing, his fingers trailing, his tongue delving. It gave me shivers to remember it.

Edward pulled me up so that I was lying flat on top of him, my face looking down into his, my lips not far from his own. I was tempted to caress them once again.

"Bella, would you like a bath?"

I blinked self-consciously, "Do I stink?" With all the loving we had done, I wasn't surprised.

"Lord, no. You smell heavenly to me but I thought you may enjoy a bath – with me perhaps?"

"You have a bath tub big enough for two?"

"It's an old tub made in the day when lolling about in a bath was considered an art form. This one is particularly sumptuous. It is similar to yours but bigger."

"Show me this amazing thing, then," I said as I rolled off of him.

He led me into the adjoining bathroom, which in typical Cullen fashion was as big as most people's bedrooms. Under a large picture window, stood a deep-sided, amazingly luxurious, cast iron bath tub. It was certainly big enough for two. It was almost big enough for a whole family.

"You were planning this, Edward?" There were unlit candles strewn about. A bottle of bath salts nestled on top of a stack of fluffy towels that were piled next to the bathtub.

He had leaned over to start the water flowing and shook his head, "No, I didn't do this. This looks like Alice's work. I wonder what she's up to?"

"Well, let's take advantage of her preparations, then. I'd like a candle lit bath." I went around the room, lighting the candles with a lighter that Alice had also conveniently left us. Edward poured some divine smelling bath salts in the steaming water and then pressed the switch to an iPod dock that was sitting on a nearby shelf. I smiled to hear a piano playing the theme from the old movie, "Love Story." Soft piano music had become the background for our love – I suppose it always had been.

I piled my hair up on the top of my head and stuck a clip in it, then took Edward's outstretched hand and stepped with him into the heavenly bath. Edward sat, then pulled me down between his legs so that I rested in front of him along his body. The hot water was warming Edward and I noticed he wasn't as cold as he normally was. I lay against him, my back to his chest, in utter bliss as Edward gently held me close, his lips right next to my ear.

"I love you Bella," he whispered.

His legs and arms cradled me in the almost too hot water and he began murmuring a soft litany in my ear, "I love how your hair falls like a thick curtain around us when you lean over me. I love the soft, perfumed spot right behind your ear that smells like heaven to me. I love how your breasts react when I gently stroke them to turgid peaks. I love how you shiver as I softly stroke your arms, your legs, your hips. I love how your nipples taste when I lick them and feel when I suck on them. I love hearing your soft gasps when something I've done feels good to you. I love touching you there and how it makes you quiver with desire as I please you. I love the way you feel to me when I am inside you – warm, soft, slick, and entirely intoxicating. I want to make love to you for the rest of forever."

He demonstrated each of his thoughts as he was telling me about them, finally lifting me up so that I could guide him into me. We both moaned in pleasure as I settled down on him and started to move my hips. He drifted one of his beautiful, long-fingered hands down my stomach to touch me right above where we were joined and start to rub in delightful circles.

I turned my head, my lips searching for and needing his. Our kiss, feeling him filling me, with one of his hands massaging and the other rubbing, soon pushed me over the edge. I cried out in pure pleasure.

As I was spiraling back down to earth, Edward growled, "I can't get enough of you," and within two seconds I was lifted out of the bath to sprawl upon a pile of towels in the middle of the bathroom floor. Our fingers were intertwined as they lay on either side of my head. My position caused my back to arch which created an intense friction as Edward moved above me.

"Bella, look at me," he whispered and I opened my eyes to look into his as he thrust deeper and deeper. Our gazes locked, baring our souls in the moment of sheer pleasure, and perfect love. I pushed my hips up against him and suddenly the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced ripped through me. I think I screamed.

My reaction was too much for Edward and he fell to pieces almost immediately after I did. I felt him burst warmly inside of me, something new in the way of sensations. Before, if I felt anything when he climaxed it was simply a cold rush but this time I felt heat.

Making love with him was so amazing to me. I doubted I would ever get my mind completely around how right it felt, how perfect.

We lay there in each other's arms waiting for my heart beat to slow when Edward reluctantly said, "My family's back from hunting. I guess it is time to get dressed."

I helped him straighten up his suite and then got back into my clothes that had been strewn haphazardly around the room. (My bra was hanging from the lampshade.) I straightened out my hair a bit but kept it up in a clip. There was no way I was going to get it to look presentable without a lot of bother.

We went down stairs hand in hand, only to be met by an over excited Alice. She rushed up to me and clasped me in a huge hug, "Oh Bella, I am so happy…"

"You're happy? That's good but why exactly? Is there something I should know?"

Edward looked sharply at Alice, "Alice, what are you hiding?"

She gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look, "Hiding? Me? Nothing, Edward. I swear!"

"Alice, you are singing every Cyndi Lauper song that was ever recorded in your head. That tells me something is going on."

"Oh Edward, stop being such a party pooper. You'll find out soon enough. Don't worry. It's all good." Alice beamed brightly at us. I just shrugged and followed Edward out to his car so he could take me back home. I had to prepare to go back to work in the morning and soon I forgot all about Alice and her excitement.

In the next couple of weeks, I got back into the groove at school and Edward registered as a student at the Shenandoah Conservatory of Arts. He was very late entering the semester but after the proctors heard him audition by playing some of his original pieces, they waived most of the admission requirements and soon he was hip deep in doing what he loved: music.

Sometimes he'd come over to my school and have lunch with me in my classroom. The students were curious about Miss Swan's boyfriend, even more so when they discovered he was a Cullen. His moods were so sunny and his dazzling smile was always on his lips, half the student body was in love with him. I was in the library one day checking on the availability of resource materials my students were going to need when I overheard two girls whispering together on the other side of the shelves.

"Have you seen Miss Cullen's boyfriend?"

"Oh my God! He's gorgeous!"

"He held a door open for me yesterday and I thought I was going to die. I am sure I must have drooled. He's so divine."

"He's Alice and Emmett Cullen's older brother, did you know?"

"I had heard that. I wonder how Miss Swan met him."

"Someone said that she knew the Cullens from way back. It was just a fluke that she met up with them here. She used to date the oldest one but they broke it off or something and then when she saw Alice she remembered her, so from there, she got back together with the brother. His name's Edward or something, isn't it?"

"Edward? I don't know. I just call him Hot Pockets."

"Hot Pockets? Why?"

"Because I just want to slip my hand into the back pocket of his jeans and squeeze. His ass is HOT!"

Giggles erupted from their side of the bookcase and I decided I needed to put an end to their silliness. I walked around the end of the bookcase and looked up at the books on the top shelf. I acted as though I didn't see them. I heard a muffled gasp, a small titter, then when I turned to look down the aisle, I saw the disappearing backs of the two girls as they made a quick exit.

At least the gossip was fairly accurate. It was becoming very common to see Edward and me around town, always together and completely happy. Edward told me he was courting me and because of that and the fact that I was being watched by a school full of students (and teachers and administrators, for that matter), he never spent the night with me. I was a little disappointed about that but he made sure I didn't feel neglected in any other sense. He swept me off my feet more times than I could count and I learned more and more about the delicious physical expression of love.

One night, after we'd loved and were lying in a blissful state in each other's arms, I asked, "Edward, are you sure you didn't have any experience doing this before?"

A wrinkle appeared between his brows, "Bella, you know I was inexperienced. I wouldn't lie about that. I was never interested in anyone in that way before I met you." His expression relaxed and he smirked, "Now, I can hardly stop thinking about it."

"Neither can I. I've become such a wanton. Edward, you make me feel so good, it seems impossible that you're not very practiced." He just looked at me. I was expecting his expression to reflect his disgruntlement with my statement but he looked self-conscious instead.

So, I stated the obvious, "Edward, you look embarrassed."

I swear, if he could have blushed he would have. He broke eye contact with me and said, "I've been doing some research."

Now, I was surprised, "Research?"

"Bella, I've lived for almost ninety years with couples who most certainly were experienced in love making and I can read their minds."

Now it was my turn to blush, "You learned technique from listening in on your family?"

Edward just cleared his throat, "Well, let's say I try not to pay a lot of attention to what they do. I give them as much privacy as I am capable. But when it seemed likely that you and I were going to have that experience ourselves, I asked Alice what I should do."

"You asked Alice?" I was sort of eeked out by that. But maybe this explained the bathroom decorations a few days back.

"Alice didn't tell me anything in words – she just recalled specific incidences that would answer my questions quite comprehensively. It was like she handed me three memories and said, look at these and then left me. Since you are pleased with me, I'd say my method of research worked."

Then he winked at me, the scoundrel. I lightly punched him in the arm but then became thoughtful and asked, "Should I ask Alice what I can do to make it better for you?"

It was his turn to be scandalized, "I am pleased, beyond pleased, Bella. Making love with you is heaven to me. I couldn't imagine anything you could do to delight me more. Please don't ask Alice."

I laughed and hugged him closer and soon we were employing his research once again.

For those two sweet short weeks, life was idyllic.

AN:

*I know that SAD is a real and devastating syndrome but Charlie, like a lot of uninformed people, probably wouldn't have much empathy concerning it.

*Warsteiner is sort of the PBR of Germany.


Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Chicago


AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns all things copyright.

Chapter 19 Chicago

***BPOV

Edward and I left for the airport as soon as I got out of school on Friday. We were in the air by six p.m. and then back on the ground in Chicago in a little over an hour after that. The flight sure beat the ten hour drive.

Edward rented a car and drove into the city directly to the hotel where we had reservations. I'd never been to Chicago before, and as I sat next to Edward, resting my hand on his thigh as he drove into the city, my eyes were darting everywhere trying to take in everything. It looked marvelous.

Our hotel was not too far from Lake Michigan, in fact once we got settled in our room, I opened the drapes and we had a stunning view of not just the lake but of the city as well. I know I stood there for ten minutes just soaking it in. Edward came up behind me and put his arms around my waist and nuzzled my hair, which had become his usual habit. I always leaned back against him and put my arms over his and clasped his hands as they pulled me tightly against his chest. I sighed in contentment.

He inhaled deeply as we stood together and said, "You've been smelling exceptionally wonderful lately."

I chuckled, "Thank you, I think?"

"No, I mean it. It's still your amazing fragrance but more so – richer, fuller, deeper." He inhaled again and groaned in ecstasy.

Ah, the weirdness of having a vampire for a boyfriend.

"Does anything look familiar to you from when you were a boy, Edward?"

He chuckled, "Well, I think the lake looks recognizable but other than that, no. I've been back to Chicago several times since I was a boy, though, so I am familiar with the way it is now."

"In which direction did you live, Edward?"

He pointed to the North West, "Somewhere up there. Tomorrow we'll go look at it. It so happens, the house where I grew up is being sold and so I have an appointment with a realtor tomorrow morning to show it to me."

"Do you remember your old home?"

"Not really. A few flashes of memory but nothing really vivid. Honestly, I don't remember much of my life before I was changed. I couldn't even tell you how to get to my old home. I had to use mapquest."

"What will we do in the meantime?" I batted my eyes at him.

He smiled not so innocently at me and said, "How about we get some room service for the human and then try out that neat looking Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom?"

That sounded fine with me, and so we did and followed our Jacuzzi time with some really stellar necking on the king sized bed. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, completely contented, and supremely happy.

The next morning Edward ordered room service again: bacon and eggs with wheat toast, orange juice and coffee. I sat down at the little table next to the window to study the fascinating city as I leisurely ate my breakfast.

I started to pour the coffee from the carafe into the waiting mug. The odor of the coffee hit me in the nose like a prize fighter. My stomach heaved. I got up and stepped back from the table, a nice shade of green.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"I don't know. The smell of the coffee is upsetting my stomach."

"Has that happened before?"

"Never. I love my morning coffee." I shrugged, "It's probably the excitement of being here or something." I had to quickly pour the coffee from the mug back into the carafe and then move the coffee over to the other side of the room. I couldn't tolerate even the faintest whiff.

I promptly forgot about this small aberration as Edward began to tell me his plans for the day. We were to meet the realtor in our hotel lobby at 9:30 am who was going to drive us to Edward's former home and show us around. In fact, Edward had asked her to let us browse around the house on our own for a while. I wondered if Edward's old home had been remodeled and revamped so much over the years that it would fail to trigger any memories Edward may have.

I dressed warmly because the wind off the lake was very chilly. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable cold weather was having lived in Florida during the winter for the last four years. Edward entwined his fingers in mine as we rode the elevator to the lobby a little before we were to meet the Realtor, Ginny Blaize. Ginny turned out to be a fiery, friendly, red head who seemed as excited to show us the house as we were to see it.

She said to me, "Will this be your first home?"

I looked at Edward and let him answer. I had no idea what his cover story was.

"Yes, actually, it is. Please tell me about the neighborhood," he asked in hopes of distracting her. She started talking about how originally the area had been built after the great fire of 1871, so the house was approaching one hundred and forty years old. The houses were unusual for city homes in that they were set on lawns as single family manses. She said we were in for a treat because Edward's house had been updated with newer utilities and wiring but basically it remained as it had been when it was first built. She called it a historical treasure.

This was good news. Maybe it would remind Edward of something significant about his past if it was similar to what he remembered.

We drove down a tree lined street and pulled up in front of a two-storied, red brick house, with a broad front porch and mullioned windows on either side of the central doorway. Ginny unlocked it for us then bid us a cheery goodbye saying she'd be back in an hour. Edward stood on the street, hands in his pockets, staring up at his old home a dreamy look on his face. I didn't say anything, just let him gaze. It was his time to explore.

He didn't say anything either, just sighed and walked up to the door and pushed it open gesturing for me to go in ahead of him. It was empty and dusty in the house as if it hadn't been lived in for a while. I wandered around the first floor, admiring the lovely woodwork, spacious rooms, and high ceilings. In the back of the house was the kitchen that seemed to have been modernized within the last twenty years or so. There was a small half bath under the stairs but from what I could tell, it didn't look as if much had been done to the house. The walls and rooms still looked like they'd be original.

Edward looked around and only said, "Hmmm."

We went up stairs and down the hall to a bedroom in the front of the house.

"This was mine." I jumped, not really expecting Edward to say anything.

"This was your bedroom?"

"Yes. My mother put but big cabbage-rosed wall paper up, but in masculine tones or so she claimed. I was cheesed off about that. They were still flowers, big, ugly brown ones."

There wasn't a flower to be seen at the moment as the walls were a dingy white. I saw a door that must be a closet and so I opened it. By today's standards, it was tiny but since most houses didn't even have closets in the bedroom in those days, I am sure this was a big thing in Edward's time. I turned on the light bulb that was hanging down from a wire and could tell that someone had painted over the wallpaper that had once adorned the walls inside. I scratched at the flaking paint and giggled in surprise. Sure enough, there were brown roses under that paint.

"Look, Edward," I said indicating my find.

"Yep. That was it. Hideous isn't it?"

I laughed, "Edward, it was probably the height of fashion then."

"That doesn't say much about the height of fashion, does it?"

"I'll have to tell Alice you said that. Are you having any other memories, Edward?"

"Yes. They make me sad."

I reached out and put my hand on his arm in sympathy, "Are you thinking about your folks?"

"Yes. The thing about becoming a vampire is that you forget your past – it becomes like a half heard story of someone else's life. I never was able to mourn my Mother and Father but coming here, I remember them. I remember pressing my nose against the windows as a little kid waiting eagerly for my father to come home from work. I remember my mother humming as she worked in the kitchen and the sound of her shoes climbing that staircase. I remember lying in bed in this room and staring up at the ceiling before I drifted off to sleep. It's all gone now and has been for a long time." He sighed.

I put my arms around him and he returned my embrace. I kissed his neck and he leaned down to bury his nose in my hair. I heard and felt him inhale and his body shuddered and he relaxed. I hugged him as tightly as I could and whispered, "You have me now, Edward."

He lifted his head to look into my eyes, "Thank you, Bella. You make this bearable."

I felt a little humor might go a long way at this juncture, so I stood on my toes to press a kiss against his lips. He, of course, returned the kiss, smiling afterwards.

I pressed my hips into his and said, "So Edward, did you ever think you'd be kissing a girl up here?"

My comment had the desired effect. He snickered, "Uhm. Let's see. I was a typical teenaged boy in this room. What do you think?"

"You told me you never had feelings like this until you met me."

He cleared his throat and looked at me as if I was crazy, "I didn't have feelings for a specific girl before you, Bella, but I did have feelings - desires."

I gave him my best coquettish smile and drawled, "So, would you like to re-enact a few of those desires, Eddie?"

"You are a minx, Bella," he said incredulously but I ground my hips against his again and I could tell the idea excited him.

I put my hands in the back pockets of his jeans and groped his butt, "Kiss me, Hot Pockets."

He barked a laugh, "There's a girl in your school who calls me that."

I was scandalized, "She does out loud?!"

"Well, she doesn't say it but she sure thinks it loud enough."

I giggled, "Well, I have to say, I agree with her."

"You do?" He flexed his glutes for me.

"Yes. Edward. You turn me right on with that kind of business. Kiss me."

And so we kissed and did a few more things that required a wall to put my back against while he had his way with me in his boyhood bedroom. Holy crow, as I used to say when I was a lot more innocent. It was hot.

We spent the last few minutes of our self-guided tour looking around the second floor, then went out into the back yard. Edward was delighted to see a huge Maple tree out there.

"I remember this tree, Bella!" he exclaimed. He ran over to it and searched the bark, then shouted. "It's here! Look, Bella!"

Just above the reach of his hand was what looked like a puckered scar in the bark of the tree. If you looked at it closely you could make out an E.M. carefully carved into it.

"Did you do that, Edward?"

"I did and I got in trouble for it, too. Carving one's initials in a tree can stress it. My mother was an avid gardener. I am glad it is still here."

"You know, Edward, maybe we could think of something to commemorate to your parents? Plant a tree in a park, contribute to a gallery or library? We could honor them that way."

Edward smiled, "That's a great idea, Bella. That's what I'll do." He leaned down to kiss me and those familiar sparks shivered up and down my spine.

Just then, we heard a horn beep in front of the house and a, "Yoo Hoo!"

"I guess Ginny returns," Edward said, as he grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the house.

"How'd you like it?" she asked.

"We liked it but it needs a lot of work."

"The owners realize that and so they've put it on the market at a really good price."

Edward nodded.

"They are only asking $499.999 for it."

Edward blinked, "A half-a-million dollars?"

Ginny turned to me and eagerly said, "I bet you could think of all sorts of things to do in that house."

I gasped. I know my eyes looked wildly at Edward's. The only thing I had thought of doing in this house was to sex up my man. Edward started to snigger. I started to giggle, then we both erupted into laughter leaving Ginny looking at us like we were insane.

Finally, Edward stopped laughing long enough to tell the realtor that he needed to crunch some numbers and he'd get back to her. She drove us back to our hotel chatting amiably about how wonderful it was to live in Chicago, especially for young couples. She was a really nice lady. I was sorry we were such poor prospects for her.

We got back to our hotel and Edward guided me into the café to feed me. He sat across from me as I ate a BLT and drank a coke.

"What are you going to do about the house, Edward?"

"I don't know, Bella. I don't want to buy a house that we won't be living in. I don't know for sure if there's going to be a long term "we" in my future right now. And I sure as hell don't want to live there by myself. Who would help me disperse those ghosts? I'd wind up becoming as morbid as the Romanians."

His statement was like a bucket of ice water thrown in my face. I couldn't imagine how I avoided realizing what saying no to Edward would mean to him in the future. I had only been thinking of myself and my determined assertion that I didn't need anyone to live a fulfilled life. But what would happen to Edward if I chose a human life? I knew now that the pain I'd cause him would be agonizing. How could I do that to the man I loved? Even the thought of it caused me to cringe in pain.

What would and eternal life cost to me? Since Charlie found out about "the secret," there would be no need to shut him out. Surely we could find something so that Renee could still figure in my life?

I had been worried I would miss human experiences that would come with aging. Couldn't I gain wisdom without old age? They weren't necessarily prerequisites of each other.

I wouldn't have children. That was a big price to pay but was it a deal breaker? Many people lived fulfilling lives without experiencing parenthood.

What about death and what happens afterwards? It struck me that no one actually knew for sure. Would I want to take a chance that there was something beyond and lose what I actually had? Where is the logic in that? Where is the happiness in that?

Would I have to give up my independence? No. Edward had gone out of his way to demonstrate the respect he had for me and my self-determination. He treated me as his equal and loved me as his equal. Walking side by side with him in life would not be relinquishing who I was.

I now understood that I could be fulfilled in all ways possible except for the way that mattered the most to me. I was beginning to realize that not only would Edward be morbidly lost if we were apart, I would be, too.

I could live without Edward. I just didn't want to.

***EPOV

I was beginning to think it hadn't been such a good idea to reunite with Bella. If she chose to live her life without me, I know now a major part of me would die. There would be no joy again. That thought made me sick to my stomach. But when I thought of the love Bella and I shared the past few weeks, I knew I would never regret that. If my place in heaven was only going to be for a short time, I would be content with what I had.

Oh, buck up, Edward! You don't know what the future holds so enjoy what you have now. Don't worry about the future until you know you have something to worry about.

I smiled at Bella as I reached across the table to hold her hand, "What did you think about my old home?"

"It was lovely, Edward. I could see a lot of potential there. But you were right; it would take a lot of work – especially with those cabbage roses in the bed room." She winked at me.

I squeezed her hand, "You make everything better, Bella."

She grinned back at me and finished her lunch.

"What's on the agenda for this afternoon?"

"Tomorrow we are going to Rockford, Illinois, the little town my parents were from but today, we could sight-see a bit, if you'd like?"

"I don't know much about Chicago, Edward. Where should we go?"

"It has an amazing art museum, does that sound interesting?"

"Sure!"

"Well then, that's where we'll go."

We spent the afternoon at the Art Institute of Chicago admiring its extensive collection. I had seen it before but sharing it with Bella made it an amazing experience. As we left, I bought her a set of bracelets she had admired in the gift shop. I wanted her to remember this day.

I asked her if she wanted to go out for dinner but she opted to order room service again. She said she was really tired and just wanted to cuddle with me in our room. That sounded fine to me.

After her dinner, she curled up next to me on our bed. I had the television on trying to find something enjoyable for us to watch together but there didn't seem to be anything appealing on at the moment. I gave up and turned it off and said, "Bella, I suppose we are going to have to create our own entertainment tonight."

She smiled at me and said, "That's okay, Edward. I wanted to talk to you any way."

I didn't have a lot of experience in relationships but I knew enough to know that whenever your girlfriend says that she wants to talk, it's usually very bad news. I had a sinking feeling. Her lips were smiling but there was something about the way she held her body, as if she was afraid of something she was going to say.

Oh, God. If you can still hear to me, please, please help me to do and say the right thing, no matter what Bella is going to tell me. But if you could spare me a little mercy, please have her stay with me?

I don't think I had prayed since becoming a vampire. I felt for most of those years that I was a pariah, one of the damned, and that I wasn't welcomed to make my pleas known to God. But this time, I couldn't help myself. I was afraid, deathly afraid that Bella was going to tell me that she didn't want to be in my life.

My heart actually hurt and it hadn't beat in ninety years.

I steeled myself and smiled trying to make it easy on her, whatever she needed to tell me.

She put her hand on my chest as if subconsciously she knew of my heart pain and said, "Edward, I hope you're sure of what you want."

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Are you sure you want me forever?"

I shut my eyes and swallowed. How could she doubt my desires? "Yes. I've never been more sure."

She was kneeling at my side facing me. She held my hands and was looking earnestly into my eyes. I returned her gaze afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to look away from her.

"Edward," she whispered, "I choose an immortal life."

Trust Bella to paraphrase a movie when declaring herself. My mouth twitched into a hesitant smile and I whispered, "The Lord of the Rings."

Her eyes twinkled and she smiled, "Yes. Arwen Evenstar and I have a lot in common with each other: drop dead gorgeous boyfriends, cranky fathers, a choice between mortality and immortality… you know, just a typical, hum drum life."

I gathered her up into my arms, the reality of what she said sinking in. It was exactly what I wanted to hear but I had been so afraid of hearing the worst. It was all I had let myself think about. I could hardly understand what she was actually telling me.

"You want to be with me?"

"Yes. I want you forever. I finally realized that I want you every day of forever. I can't imagine a life without you at my side."

My body shook with pent up emotion as I framed her face with my hands and kissed her. I murmured over and over, "Thank you. Thank you, Bella. Thank you."

She returned my fervor and kissed me as often as I kissed her.

I said, "I can't believe how happy I am."

She was smiling at me, "I am happy, too, Edward. When do you want to start this eternal bonding?"

"You truly wish to change into a vampire?"

"Yes, but not right now. I have some obligations to meet – my contract at Wood is a year long. And you will need to finish at the Conservatory. I need to figure out how we'll handle Renee, too. I really don't want to devastate her."

"We don't have to do it for a while, for sure."

"Tell me about the change and exactly what my life will be. I've only heard a few allusions to it but I think I should know more, now."

"Bella, it's painful. There's no way of getting around that. You will burn for three days. Believe me, I will be there with you throughout the whole thing. Then when you are changed, your desire for human blood will be just about uncontrollable. But that passes in a year or so and you'll become like the rest of us. During that time would need to move to a remote, game-filled habitat where few humans venture."

"Your whole family will move with us?"

"It's not necessary for them to be with us but you may enjoy having them around."

"Will I still be myself? Will I forget my human life?"

"Like I said, it will become a faded memory to you. I would suggest that you start making scrap books of things you don't want to forget. Label everything. Then after your change, they'll be there to remind you and you won't lose them. But in the end, you'll still be Bella – just a little more durable."

"That's a good idea. It will give me something to do as I wait."

I grinned at her, "I can think of some other things we could do…"

She laughed, "We can't make love all the time."

"We could try."

"I am sure there would be objections to that from others."

"They're just killjoys." I kissed her on her nose.

"Yeah, killjoys, but they'd object just the same."

I leaned in to kiss her again and enjoyed it as if it were our first time all over again – without the desire to kill her, that is.

She said, "I will still feel the same way about you, won't I, Edward?"

"I'll make sure you do, Bella."

"There's a chance I'll forget?"

"You won't forget but what you feel for me may be overshadowed by blood lust at first."

Bella shuddered in my arms, "I hope I don't forget you. That would be tragic."

"Don't worry. If what you feel for me does seem to fade, just remember it is only temporary and you'll soon feel the same, or more, than you feel now."

"More? I don't see how that's possible."

We were quiet for a while, busying ourselves in kisses and soft murmurs of love. I couldn't get over how lucky I was and how elated I felt.

Bella soon pulled away, saying she wanted to get ready for bed and disappeared into our bathroom. I pulled the covers down and slipped out of my own clothes – all but my boxers. I pulled the drapes open on the windows and turned the lights down. When Bella emerged she was dressed in a filmy blue night gown and I held my arms out to her. She snuggled into my side and I covered us up with the duvet.

I kissed her forehead, "Are you tired, Bella?"

"Exhausted," she answered.

"I guess deciding on eternity is hard work, eh?"

"Must be." She shut her eyes and her breathing started to even out. I started humming her lullaby and marveled at how sweet my life was… no make that how sweet my eternity was.

I took a few moments to thank God. Apparently, He does listen to the damned – or the formerly damned.

The next day, Bella and I drove to Rockford to look for evidence of my past. It was Sunday so none of the county offices were open but I had the addresses of my parent's former homes. The general store my mother's family ran was now the location of a gas station. My father's family home was now an empty lot.

I went to a pay phone at a grocery store and looked up "Masen" and "Wickham", my mother's maiden name, to see if there were any people in the area who had the same name. I found one Masen and one Wickham. I called each one only to find the Wickham who lived in Rockford now, had just moved there from out of state and had never had any family in the area.

John Masen, however had lived in Rockford his whole life and his family had been in the area for more than a hundred years. He seemed like an elderly man over the phone and I asked if Bella and I could visit him. He was eager to see us. He sounded lonely.

We drove up to a small but orderly bungalow and pulled into the drive. We had stopped at a grocery store and picked up a small cake. He grinned as he saw us and thanked us for coming. He offered us some of the cake we had given him and we both refused, saying it was for him to enjoy.

"Thank you for seeing us today, Mr. Masen. I've been doing research on my family and found that they originated from Rockford and I am trying to figure out if I have any family left here."

"Well, well, young sir. You say your last name is Masen?"

"It was but I was adopted at a young age and my name was changed."

"Oh. Where are you from?"

"I was born in Chicago."

"I could have guessed that. Most people who leave Rockford end up there."

"I am a descendent of Elizabeth and Edward Masen. They died in the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918."

"Edward Masen. Edward Masen. Hmmm. I was born in 1920 – the roaring twenties, flappers, don't you know- my father's name was Charles. He had three brothers and one of them was named Edward but he died before I was born. Yes. I do believe he died in the epidemic. Just a minute."

The old man got up and shuffled out of the room only to return a few minutes later with a large old fashioned picture album. "Let's see…" He flipped through some pages, peering at the inscriptions at the bottom of some old sepia toned pictures.

"Ah, here we are. The Masen boys: Charles, Anthony, Milton and Edward. Evidently, Edward was the oldest."

He pointed him out in the photo and I could recognize the man, a younger man than in the picture I had, with his three brothers.

"I think that's the Edward Masen that I am descended from."

"I don't see how that's possible. Edward and his wife and son were all stricken from the disease and they died. There was nothing left of them."

"Actually, Edward Anthony Masen, Jr., the son, did survive. He was taken in by the doctor who was caring for him and eventually adopted the doctor's name. Perhaps he didn't know he had relatives to go to."

"Do you have any proof of it?" The old man was doubtful.

"I have his birth certificate and a couple of old photos. One of the photos is of his mother and father."

I was looking at the album as I spoke and stopped at a picture, "In fact this is the picture I have of Edward and Elizabeth Masen." He pointed at the same portrait we saw of them weeks ago in the Cullen kitchen.

"Well, I'll be. That was their wedding portrait. I guess that would make us cousins to some degree!"

He was correct. We were cousins of the first degree. I smiled at him. "I guess we are. Could you tell me about the Masens here in Rockford?"

It was a familiar story; they were farmers but when the land was worth more in the hands of realtors than sown with crops, many Masens sold out and left for other parts of the world. He was the only one of the family to live locally.

I thanked him for his time and promised to keep in touch with him and I would. It seems that I was all the blood relation he had anymore.

Bella and I drove back to Chicago in silence. I was thinking about family and connections and it dawned on me that I wanted Bella in every way I could have her. I wanted her officially in my life, not just as a courtesy. I wanted her as my wife as well as my companion. Just like my parents declared their love to God and everyone else, I wanted to declare mine as well. I hoped Bella would feel the same.

We could even get married now and live together in her little cottage as she taught and I finished my course of study. The idea thrilled me. I was unsure what Bella would want, though.

We spent our last evening in Chicago much the same as we did the night before, except we prefaced Bella's sleep with a sweet episode of physical intimacy and I sang her to sleep in utter contentment.

I couldn't wait to get home. I was going to give her my mother's engagement ring, if she'd take it. I wanted to make it special for Bella. I spent the night dreaming about our future together and planning how I'd ask her and I counted my blessings. I was a very lucky vampire.

No, I was a very lucky man.

AN: Finally?

Please be kinds and leave a review.


Chapter 20: Chapter 20: The Best Laid Plans


AN: This is a long chapter but I enjoyed writing it very much. If you'd like, go to Youtube and play Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring while you read the concert part. You will understand the delight that Edward and Bella had while they listened.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I am just daydreaming here and sharing it with you.

Chapter 20: The Best Laid Plans

***BPOV

Ugh. I was nauseous again. I wished this bug I had would go away and stay away. I sipped some water, still not able to stomach the smell of coffee. After I ate a little dry toast, I did feel better. Not perfect. Just better. Bleck. I'd better get going to school.

Aside from my physical funk, though, my life couldn't be better. When we arrived back from Chicago, Edward took me to his parent's house so that we could announce that I had decided to join him in an immortal life. Everyone seemed to be happy, except for Rosalie. She was even more cold and unfriendly than she usually was. I needed to find out what was bugging her. Eternity was too long to live with someone who hated your guts.

Edward was never without a smile these days. Even when we were in Forks, he'd be broody once in a while. Esme said it was because he was the eternal fatalist and could never see the silver lining to any cloud. But since I made the decision to change, he had seemingly put all of that behind him.

His concerto now had a triumphant, exultant third movement. His professors were speaking of performing it at the orchestral winter concert. Edward was frantically writing out the score but even when he was doing that a smile was on his face. The man was the freaking bluebird of vampire happiness. I thought he was very cute. And to be honest, I was as happy as he was.

Tonight, we were going out on a date. Alice had come over to my house the night before and gave me a "gift." By now, I knew what that meant. Alice was disgusted with my wardrobe and was taking matters into her own hands.

She told me that I needed to look special tonight. She even had a special bra to go with the dress. I tried it on while she was there which meant I needed to undress, first. I was surprised when I took off my old bra at how sore my breasts were. Hmm. Well, I had been putting them through a lot lately – or rather Edward had. And it was getting close to my time of the month, wasn't it?

I was just wandering over to my calendar to check the dates, when Alice burst in my room. "Oh Bella, you've to go hurry. Edward's on his way over."

So, I forgot about why I wanted to look at the calendar and hurriedly tried on Alice's outfit. I must say, she had great taste. I looked stunning in it. I hugged my friend and said thanks then shooed her out so I could get ready for my time with Edward that night.

I had no idea why this Friday night was going to be any different than any other but it made Edward happy, so I was fine getting dressed up for it. I loved knowing that I was the reason he smiled. I loved knowing that he desired me. I loved knowing that he loved me. I loved knowing that I was his girlfriend? … lover? …mate?

I supposed that since he was a vampire, I was his mate. He told me that long ago, like he was stating a fact. "You are my mate" he said as if he was saying "you have brown hair." It was a simple fact. But he left the door wide open for me. He recognized, since I wasn't a vampire, he didn't have to be my mate. But oh, I realized, now he was.

I went through the motions of my day, probably not my best as a teacher. I was distracted and day dreamy. The final bell rang and I did the cursory things I needed to get done to leave for the day. I stuffed some grading into a satchel and promised myself I'd get it done this weekend – but not tonight.

I got ready for the evening by giving myself what I call Bella's spa treatment. I am sure that Alice wouldn't consider it spa-ish enough. I took a nice long bath, shaved my legs (and other parts), then I moisturized my whole body, toes to scalp. I let that set a bit, then shampooed my hair, applied a deep conditioner, then wrapped my hair up in a towel. Now it was time for the cucumber mask. After that, I gave myself a pedicure and a manicure, which in my case was simply softening the cuticles, filing, then buffing my nails to an even shine. (No polish for me – I was hopeless at getting that stuff to cooperate.) Then, I washed off the cucumber mask, rinsed out the conditioner and blew my hair dry. There you have it. A Bella Spa Night, done in an hour flat.

I took a little more time with my make up than usual, slid the indecent underwear Alice got me on, followed by the sinful dress. This dress really made my breasts look bigger. I definitely had more cleavage now. I wondered how a dress could create cleavage. I pulled my hair back from my forehead so that it cascaded down my back in glossy, soft curls, slipped on my 'they won't kill you' shoes, (that is - flats) then I grabbed my evening bag and wool shawl, and went down the stairs to find Edward waiting for me in the living room.

I smiled, "I didn't even know you were here."

"I let myself in. I could hear you were getting ready upstairs, and I didn't want to disturb you. I hope you don't mind."

"That's what I gave you a key for, silly." I walked over to him and stretched up to kiss him hello.

He put his hands on my shoulders and held me away from him, "You look beautiful, Bella." Then he kissed me proper. A strange electricity seemed to pass between us that left me gasping. I murmured something not very comprehendible but I knew that Edward got the gist because he smiled back.

I finally got myself together enough to ask, "What do you have planned tonight?"

He smiled, "I am taking you to a moonlit dinner and concert."

"Am I dressed warmly enough?"

"We'll be in a heated area Bella, so I think you'll be fine." He looked at me again and his eyes sparkled, "Besides, it would be a shame to cover that dress."

He drove over to the local college campus and parked near an outdoor concert shell but instead of leading me to the stalls, he took me around to a row of three sided tents that was set up on a hillock behind the stalls and facing the stage. The orchestra was warming up as we were ushered to our small tent which was warmed by two electric braziers. There was a dinner table set with linens and china for two and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the middle. The only lighting in the tent that I could see was the candles on the table. Edward held my chair as I sat down.

"This is very elegant, Edward. Are we going to be served dinner during the concert?"

"I think that's the plan. I believe they are serving prime rib tonight. I took the liberty of ordering it for you. I hope that's okay?"

"Sounds delicious," I responded as our waiter appeared carrying the first course.

I was entranced by the music. The maestro had selected Copland's Appalachian Spring to perform and it was magnificent. I lost myself in the music and floated as the sounds caressed my soul and delighted my heart. The music simply opened me to emotion and feeling and intensity. Occasionally, I'd look over to see Edward similarly transported. I gave up any pretense of eating and reached over to hold his hand as we soared together absorbing the joy that is music.

After the concert, Edward asked if I would like to take a walk through an arboretum that was on campus and I happily agreed. It was mild for an October evening and there was no wind. The moon was full and cast a silvery glow over everything it shone upon, including us. We spoke of the thrill of the music and talked about other performances we'd like to see together in the future. I realized we had all the time in the world to see and hear these things and I was profoundly glad. Edward mentioned that once I was changed, the effect of a well performed symphony is even more intense. He revealed that Esme can't go to concerts without crying over the beauty of it.

We stopped at little bench that over looked a moon-silvered pond. The rolling countryside stretched beyond it to the mountains in the distance. In the moon glow, it was lovely.

We sat together for a moment and just savored the view and the feelings of love and contentment that flowed between us. Edward pulled me close to him and kissed me, just brushing my lips with his. His touch was electric. On his sweet breath was a whisper of love.

He took my hand and said, "Bella, I am sure it is obvious to you since we got back from Chicago that I must be the happiest person on the face of the planet. I still have to pause and remember that you've actually agreed to be My Eternal Love and it just wasn't waking dream."

"My Eternal Love," I repeated. "That's what M.E.L. meant in your letters."

He chuckled, "You were always going to be my eternal love no matter what your choice was. The question was always, was I going to be yours?"

I hugged him, "You are, mine Edward. Eternally."

He held me closely, delicately, reverently and humbly said, "I have no understanding of what I've done to deserve you."

"Edward, I could very well say the same. I wish you could see yourself as I see you. You are a better person than you give yourself credit for. I am very blessed to love you and be loved by you."

He grasped my hands a little tighter, "No Bella, I am the one who is blessed here. I find myself wanting not only to have you as my companion, my lover, and my mate but also, I want to have you as my wife. Will you marry me, Bella?"

WOW. Now why wasn't I expecting that? As I thought about it, all of the Cullens were formally wed. Some of them liked getting married so much, they had done it several times over.

Marriage to Edward wouldn't change anything between us, really, but it would make certain things easier as we moved among human populations. Besides, I was surprised to find I was becoming pretty enamored with the thought of becoming Mrs. Bella Cullen. Mrs. Isabella Cullen. Mrs. Edward Cullen.

"Yes," was all I said.

Even in the soft moonlight, Edward's smile was blinding, and he pulled me completely into his arms and laid another one of his Kiss of All Kisses on me.

"Boy, Edward, you could have anything you want from me if you keep kissing me like that," I laughed.

He was laughing too, as he reached into his suit coat pocket and pulled out a jewelry box. "This makes it official. It was my mother's." He opened the box and took a ring out and slid it on my left ring finger. It fit perfectly. The ring was beautiful, of course; late Victorian in design and delicately feminine.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Are you happy?" Edward asked.

"Wow. Yes. I am more than happy. I am amazed."

"You'll wear the ring?"

"Eternally," I laughed.

"Thank you, Bella." He kissed me again, and then rose to lead me back to his car. It took us a little longer to get to the car because for some reason, we had to stop periodically and practice our kissing.

We kissed a little more in the car. He drove me to my home. We sat in my driveway and made out like teenagers. Soon, we moved our celebration into my house, remembering that there would no one there who would try to tone down our festivities.

We celebrated our engagement (wow!) in the typical way lovers would celebrate such an event and afterwards, we lay facing each other caught in a new emotional high. He was holding my left hand, fingering my engagement ring. I could tell his possessive side was coming to the fore now.

"Edward, had you any sort of a time line in mind for getting married, me getting changed, that sort of thing?"

"I've thought about it. I don't see why we can't get married right away. It wouldn't get in the way of your job or my schooling. We could even live in your house, if you wanted to. We should put off your change until I finish my program at SCA, don't you think? Around that time, we'll decide where to move for your newborn stage. I assume we wouldn't change you until we moved. But marriage – I don't want to wait for that."

"Are you going to call Charlie and ask his blessing?"

"Of course."

"You know guys don't do that sort of thing these days."

"This guy does."

"What if he says he won't?"

"I don't think he'll put up too much of an argument. I am sure he'd rather see you married than changed. This would be the better of two evils as far as he's concerned."

"We could get married during Christmas break."

"Two months from now, Bella? That's fantastic! For some reason I was afraid you would want to put it off."

"What would be the point? I know what I want. Why wait? I'd get married sooner but if we waited until Christmastime, Mom and Dad would find it easier to attend."

"You don't want to go back to Forks to get married?"

"Not especially. Here's just as well."

"Is two months enough time to plan a wedding?" Edward asked.

I made a rueful face, "Edward, Alice probably had all the details sorted, selected, ordered and delivered months ago."

He was laughing again, "You are probably right. Does that bother you?"

"No! Shoot, she can do it all with my blessing. I just want to be married to you at the end of it. That's all that matters to me except I want to be the one to pick out your ring. You'll wear my ring, won't you?"

"With great joy, Bella," he smiled but then looked perplexed. He put his hand on his chest above his still heart.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

He looked surprised, "My heart feels like it's trying to beat."

I smiled and leaned over him and put my lips on his chest where his hand had been. "Maybe it's from happiness."

"It must be," he whispered. He pulled me up to his own lips and kissed me gently, deeply, wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me with his love. Turning us so that I was on my back, his lips journeyed down my body, kissing every part; my shoulders, my breasts, my hipbones. His hands softly traced the curve of my back, sliding down to grasp my bottom as his lips worked.

I twined my fingers through his amazing hair and gave myself over to the sensations he was causing throughout my body. Soon, he was lying between my legs, still kissing the skin below my navel. He reached down, grasped my knees and pulled them up so that my feet were flat on the mattress on either side of his arms. He wrapped his arms around my thighs so that I was completely opened to him. He kissed my soft lips there and then spread them apart with his cold tongue. I couldn't tell whether the chills I was having was from his body temperature or my hypersensitive response to his ministrations. Both were completely and delightfully overwhelming me.

Edward kissed and licked and stroked with his tongue and fingers, slowly bringing me to the edge of mindless feeling. Before I reached the heights of sensation, he slid up my body so that our hips met and plunged deeply within me, so that I was filled to bursting in need, in spirit, in desire, and in love. He lifted my hips so that we met at that perfect angle and I gasped as, after a few strong thrusts, we flung ourselves from the peak of ecstasy together.

And I get an eternity of this with this man? I was one lucky bitch.

I couldn't entice Edward to stay the night. He claimed he was protecting my reputation and after another patented K.O.A.K. (kiss of all kisses) he quickly got dressed and left, locking my front door behind him.

I cuddled up in bed with the blankets over my head, savoring his scent and drifted off to sleep. I am sure I was dreaming of being Mrs. Cullen. In it, I remember coming home from work and walking up the steps of our home, which was in actuality Edward's old home in Chicago. I opened the door to be greeted by my Cabana Boy who was for some reason holding a cooing baby. I kissed them both hello and I was blissfully happy until the baby in Edward's arms turned to me and said, "Pay attention, Mama!"

And my eyes shot open. I bet they even bugged out. I wasn't dreaming anymore.

I jumped out of bed, turned on my bedside light and ran across my room to my desk to find my calendar. My last period was September 12th. I was way over due for my next one, by almost three weeks.

It freaking couldn't be!

Maybe I was just late for some other reason. I'd been sick, maybe that's why? Or rather, maybe being pregnant is what was making me sick! I ran downstairs to my computer and googled pregnancy.

Okay. . Pregnancy Symptoms.

Late menses. Check.

Sore breasts. (I touched my breasts.) Ow. Shit. Check.

Bigger breasts. I had thought it was the new bra. Check.

Peculiar aversion to certain food smells. I remembered almost puking over the coffee in Chicago. Check.

Morning sickness. I wasn't throwing up but I just felt nauseated all the time. Half-a-check?

Positive pregnancy test.

It was one in the morning but I couldn't wait. There was a Walgreens Drug Store open all night in town. I threw on a pair of sweats, a sweatshirt, some clogs and my old parka and rushed down there. Once I got in the store, I tried to be nonchalant. Please, dear God, don't let me see anyone I know.

I saw the aisle were the pg tests were and walked past them to pick up a box of tampons. Okay… I turned around and walked past the tests again, scooped up one that looked at a quick glance that it would be reliable, then passed to the next aisle and picked up a package of soap. Then, I snagged a back of Peanut M&Ms as I walked through the candy aisle to the check out.

HALLELUIA. They had one of those do-it-yourself check-out registers. I went to it and swiped my items, sneaking the test in somewhere in the middle, shoved everything in a bag, paid for it with my credit card, and got the heck out of Dodge. I didn't have to talk to a soul and I don't think I saw anyone who knew me. Thank God.

When I got back home, I went into my bathroom and got out the test, read the directions, and assumed the position. I was shaking with nerves but was able to successfully complete the task. It said to wait five minutes afterwards. I went downstairs with the M&Ms and set my stove top timer for five minutes. I sat there in my kitchen and watched the clock as I popped M&Ms in my mouth. I refused to let myself think. I was in too much shock to think.

The timer went off. Now, all I had to do was look at the results. I think that was the hardest part. I ran-or rather, skulked- upstairs and went into the bathroom where I'd left the test wand.

I shut my eyes tightly and held the little wand up in front of them so that when I opened my eyes, I'd see the results right there in front of me. Now, all I had to do was open my eyes. Just open my eyes. Come on, Bella, open your eyes!

I scrunched my left eye open and focused on the stick. I saw two blue lines.

According to the packet, two blue lines meant I was pregnant. I reread the instructions again. Yes. Two blue lines equals baby. ARGH!

There was no way I could be pregnant. I'd only been having sex for a little over a month. And my lover was supposed to be sterile.

Someone has a lot of 'splaining to do, Lucy.

Maybe the test results were wrong? I got the second test out of the box and went through the whole process again.

Still, two blue stripes.

HOW CAN THAT BE? Edward's baby maker was shooting blanks! Besides, Edward was a vampire, for gosh sakes! Two separate species couldn't procreate, could they? It's impossible, isn't it?

My know-it-all brain decided to chime in at that point. It wasn't impossible if my theory was true all along, that vampires were a different kind of human, not a different species. Why didn't I listen to myself?

But Edward believed humans and vampires were different. OH MY GOD! Edward's going to think I was - no how could he think I had been cheating on him? I am with him practically all the time. But I remembered that Edward was inclined to over react to EVERYFUCKINGTHING. Oh shit.

MY EMPLOYER WAS GOING TO FIRE ME FOR BEING A BAD ROLE MODEL FOR MY STUDENTS. I really was getting sick to my stomach.

And then my frenzied brain thought, OH NO. I was going to have a shot gun wedding! AND CHARLIE IS GOING TO BE THE ONE WITH THE GUN!

ACK! RENEE! She was going to kill me.

CHARLIE WAS GOING TO (try) TO KILL EDWARD. FUCK!

My brain spiraled out of control. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

I was really panicking now. I mean, really.

I was pacing my bathroom floor. I needed to call someone. I needed to talk. I went through the list of possible confidantes but none of them seem to be whom I really needed or wanted. I knew in my heart, no matter what his reaction, I needed Edward. I wanted Edward. He was the only one who could soothe me. We'd get through this together.

I hoped.

I ran to my bedroom and with shaking fingers, dialed Edward's number.

"Bella?" He was surprised to hear from me at 3am.

"Edward." I must have sounded upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I need you," I began to sob.

"I'll be right there." He clicked off and I sat there on my bed moaning, tears pouring out of my eyes, clutching a tissue and scared out of my gourd. Just ten minutes later Edward was sitting next to me, pulling me into his arms. He had run all the way. It was quicker than driving.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

I picked up the wand and showed him. "Do you know what this is, Edward?"

"No."

"It's a positive pregnancy test."

He froze.

"Do you remember when the smell of coffee made me sick? And my breasts are sore – but I thought that was because of you and me and our... And they've gotten bigger. I've been feeling nauseous. Even you noticed my scent was different – fuller, richer; just like you'd expect if I was pregnant. Plus, my period is three weeks late. That means I am most likely five weeks pregnant."

He was still frozen.

"Edward, unless something really screwy is going on, I am pregnant with your baby. But then again, that's screwy in itself," I wailed.

He still sat there like a big, frozen lump. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, or tried to. I cried out in desperation, "Edward. I need you!"

He roused himself, then looked at me - really looked at me. His golden eyes began to blaze with emotion. In his velvet, lovely voice he whispered, "We're going to have a baby, Bella? It's a miracle!"

He gently gathered me closer and kissed me, passionately and lovingly. "You have brought such incredible joy into my life. My heart is so full."

He kissed me again, "I adore you, Bella."

I relaxed in his arms and sighed. It was automatically better being with Edward. I took long, deep, shuddering breaths and I settled down until I could calmly think about the whole situation. My brain was still going a mile a minute.

"But this really interferes with all our plans," I said.

"We can make new plans."

"How can you become unsterile when you were sterile?"

"I don't know. I am sure Carlisle can figure it out."

"How come you don't think I cheated on you and got knocked up by someone else?"

He just gave me a 'yeah right' look. "I know you better than that, Bella."

"Wow. You are acting really differently than I expected."

"How so?"

"I was expecting you to fly off the handle."

"At first, I was shocked because I never considered the possibility of a pregnancy but then, when I realized what a miracle it was, how could I be anything but enraptured? Besides, Bella, we're already engaged."

"But I won't be able to be changed."

"Yes, you will."

"Not for a while."

"Not sooner than we had originally discussed but maybe not too long afterwards."

"How do you think your family will take this?"

"Ecstatically. How about yours?"

"I am not even sure how they'll take me being married, never-the-less already making them grandparents."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Come on, let's go to bed." He started turning off the lights.

"You aren't going home?" I asked.

He smiled his heart-breakingly, dazzling, and beautiful smile and said, "I already am."

Carlisle examined me and confirmed my pregnancy. After a somewhat lengthy discussion with Edward, he surmised that Edward unknowingly turned on his baby making powers by sitting in hot water for a while before having relations with me. The hot water raised his body temperature which triggered sperm production. I remembered the night we tried out his sumptuous tub. I also remembered something being different – warmth instead of cold. And, hey, I also remember Miss Alice Cullen being all excited and worked up about something that night. I was going to have to talk to her.

Carlisle added, "I assume the timing and the temperature of the conception process is quite complicated. You and Bella inadvertently achieved it perfectly. This baby was meant to be."

I had to ask the burning question, "What kind of baby am I going to have, Carlisle; a human baby, a vampire baby, something of both?"

"We won't be able to tell for a while, Bella. A sonogram won't show us much right now. But if we can reproduce the circumstances where you became pregnant, I could retest Edward's ejaculate and see what sort of gametes he is producing. I have a feeling your baby is 100% human but I'd have to check a few things out, first."

Edward and I decided the best way to break the news to my parents was in person. Edward found that the easiest and most comfortable way to do this would be to hire a small jet to fly to Charlie's, spill the beans, stay one night, then fly to Renee's and do the same. I was glad we would have access to a quick get away. We might need it.

I was still worried about the school district and their reactions there. Edward suggested that we not tell my administrators about the baby until after we were married, although he honestly felt I was being too scrupulous. (Imagine, me being more scrupulous than Mr. 1918?) My due date was in late June, after school let out, so there shouldn't be a problem with having to take maternity leave.

So far, Carlisle said my pregnancy was proceeding normally. He did a sonogram and while it was too early to tell whether we had a girl or a boy, he said the baby seemed completely normal and healthy for a human baby. However, Carlisle was hesitant to turn my care over to a obstetrical practice until he was 100% sure that I was carrying a normal human baby. I was fine with that. My pre-natal vitamins made me constipated but other than that and a constant queasy feeling, I was fine.

My heart-to-heart discussion with Miss Alice was enlightening. She had seen this baby coming for six months. SIX MONTHS. That was before I had even graduated from college. I figured out she started getting premonitions about Edward and me about the time I had accepted the job in Virginia.

She told me it was hard as hell to keep all this information to herself without ruining it for everyone, especially after Edward moved back home. With his mind reading abilities and stubbornness when it came to accepting the inevitable, she had a really tough row to hoe. She was so thankful to finally having to stop mentally singing Cyndi Lauper's songs. She believed she'd never want to hear another one again. Ever.

And of course, she had our wedding planned out down the to the tea lights floating in the glass bowl centerpieces on the dinner tables. In fact, my wedding gown was already hanging in a garment bag in her enormous closet. It was made out of white velvet and cut so that my pregnancy wouldn't be noticeable. Actually, it didn't fit me right now but she promised it would fit perfectly on my wedding day, December 20th.

She told me all I needed to do was to select the wedding ring I wanted to give Edward. She started to describe what I needed to look for when I stopped her. That was something I didn't want any hints about. I wanted to do that all on my own because it had to be something that completely originated in my absolute love for him. That ring was going to be the one that bound me to Edward for eternity.

***EPOV

I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that all these wonderful things would be happening to me. I was going to marry and spend forever with the girl of my dreams and that girl was making me a father. I was going to hold my own child in my arms – something I never believed was in the realms of possibility. It was one of those things that I never thought about wanting because I knew it was impossible but now that it was happening, I was completely jubilant. I was making everyone sick with my over the top happiness, even Jasper. I couldn't help it.

There had been some curious repercussions in our family since Bella and I reunited.

The first was that Esme had to kick Emmett out of her kitchen as he experimented with the blood beer brew. It was as disgusting as it sounded but Emmett was determined to concoct something drinkable using the recipe I brought back from the Romanians. The process smelled so foul and looked so revolting that no one could bear to be in the house while Emmett was trying his hand at it. Finally, Esme hurriedly renovated a storage shed on our property into a brew house for Emmett's exclusive use. She made sure it was well down wind of us and Emmett was instructed to shower and change clothes before he returned home after his experiments.

Emmett was in cahoots with Rüdiger in his quest. They'd been maintaining a friendly correspondence concerning their attempts at brewing. He was even considering a short trip to Berlin to taste the German's efforts. Rosalie refused to go. I didn't blame her.

The second result was evident when Rosalie finally came clean with Bella. She admitted that while she had been thankful Bella pulled me out of my self-imposed exile, she was irate that Bella would consider giving up her humanity in the process. She also confessed to yearning for motherhood and how embittered she was that she could never achieve it due to her vampiric nature. As a result, she was thrilled beyond measure that Bella was bringing a baby into our family and she secretly hoped that one day she could do the same. She felt that if a male vampire's baby making ability was resurrected, surely a female's could, too.

One night when I returned home from hunting, I saw Emmett sitting in the hot tub out on the patio by himself. The steamy water was percolating away as he sat there with a rare frown on his features. His thoughts were sour. He looked up at me and thought Thanks a hell of a lot, bro.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"Ever since Rosie found out that if you parboiled your sac your baby maker gets back in business, she's had me out here cooking my damn jewels. Every damn night. I am getting tired of it."

I snorted, "She realizes that it takes two to get that show on the road, doesn't she?"

"Yeah but she's having me whack off into a cup so she can have her own personal Emmett sperm bank. She's determined to find away to get the other half of that equation working. I'd say she's found her 'greater purpose' thank you very much, Bella." He spoke to the figurative Bella who was at home nestled in our bed sleeping.

"Life's tough, man," I laughed as he flipped me off.

I don't think that Esme had set a foot on the ground since we announced Bella's pregnancy, she was so elated she seemed to be flying. In fact, she couldn't look at Bella without crying in sheer joy – and cooking her some more food. So far, Esme was batting .500, which was good for a baseball player but not so good for a cook. Bella decided that the best defense in this situation was a good offense. She thanked Esme lovingly for everything she cooked but when she actually made something that was edible, Bella wouldn't stop raving about it and would ask for the recipe. She also snuck into Esme's pantry and made sure all her ingredients were accurately labeled. No more confusing the salt for the sugar. I was marrying a smart girl, let me tell you.

Carlisle was in alt, as well. He and Rosalie were forming an unlikely partnership in the study of vampire reproductive biology and they were almost to the point of building a biological laboratory near the house to more easily work on their project. I steered clear of them as much as I could but occasionally, they'd corner me into providing samples for their experimentation. It was rather embarrassing when your father gave you a Playboy and a cup and showed you to the nearest bathroom. It was worse when your sister did it. Those two had no shame. And besides, the Playboys never did the job. Two seconds thinking of Bella always did the trick. Carlisle also guilted me into sitting down for a long interview concerning the mechanics of my love life with Bella. Talk about embarrassing! But at least Rosalie wasn't there, although she wanted to be. I just couldn't handle talking to them both about something I held so sacred but they just viewed clinically.

The amazing thing though, was that Carlisle discovered that when I, as Emmett so uncouthly phrased it, "par boiled my sac" the resultant material was pure human reproductive matter. It seemed that that part of vampire anatomy wasn't transformed into the same matter as the rest of our bodies were during the change but since our temperature was much colder than a human's, it went into stasis until it was warmed up again. Bella had been correct after all. Vampires and humans were the same species and our baby was going to be a human as well.

This was news that could rock the vampire world but we weren't sure what we were going to do with the information. Frankly, most vampires would make lousy parents, especially to a human – hell, if they didn't eat the human mothers in the beginning, they'd definitely eat their offspring at the end. We were very carefully considering keeping this whole thing under wraps as we had done with so many other things. Fortunately, our family was isolated due to our different life-style so it would be easy to keep this discovery to ourselves.

When I wasn't with Bella or at the Conservatory, I usually was with Jasper. Now that my emotional status was as Bella said, the freaking bluebird of vampire happiness, he took great delight in my company. We'd hunt together and talk.

For being a mind reader and all, you'd think I'd know just about everything Jasper had ever experienced or thought but that wasn't the case. Jasper had learned through a long war torn life to live in the moment. That's why I never learned about his fascinating opinions and experiences, he just never thought about them unless directly asked. It was pretty cool to hear tales of the Civil War first hand and what the actual "atmosphere" was in the southern cities at that time. I could understand why Jasper would get so incensed at American History teachers in the high schools we attended. He claimed they had it all wrong. He was thinking about writing his own book of America History. Hell, he'd seen half of it first hand; he should be good at it.

Bella was coming to terms with all that had gone down with us in such a short time but there was something she needed to face soon. Or rather, there were some ones she needed face, and quickly.

The first Friday in November found us leaving for Port Angeles, Washington by private jet right after Bella's classes got out. We would be getting to Charlies' house later that night. And then Bella was expecting all hell to break loose.

I made back up reservations at a hotel just in case.

AN: Funny, true story. Back in 1981, I had just suffered a terrible tragedy. One of my brothers had been killed in a plane crash and I was grieving terribly. After his services, my husband and I returned home and picked up the reins of our lives. I was teaching at a high school in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia (about an hour or so from Winchester, by the way) and it was a cold, dreary March day. I had been feeling really punk but attributed it to my brother's death. It was the end of the school day during my planning period and I was sitting alone at my desk gazing into space wondering when in the heck I'd feel normal again. Suddenly, I had a thought. When was the last time I had a period? I did some calculations and it dawned upon me that I was very late. My classroom was right next to the library, so I slid in there, nodded nonchalantly to my friend, the librarian, sauntered over to the encyclopedias and discretely got out the "P" volume, snuck it back into my classroom and looked up Pregnancy. (In my day, the encyclopedia was our form of the internet for information gathering.) I went through the check list just like Bella did in this chapter and was shocked when I discovered I had all the symptoms. Just about seven months later, our daughter was born.

Okay. This story is wrapping up. The remainder is going to be in epilog form from Charlie's point of view. Thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this and please be sweet and leave me a review. I enjoy hearing your thoughts.


Chapter 21: Chapter 21: EpilogueTwenty Years On


AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Myers owns Twilight. I am just day dreaming and playing with her wonderful creation.