Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with SWAC.

A/N: Okay. Sorry it's taken me forever to update this one. Heh. I've been promising and promising and promising two buddies of mine that I'd get to it, but I kept putting it off. Sorry, Jason and Kana. Anyway, here it is. I hope that the blog isn't starting to get redundant...but...heh.

Thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed/favorited/alerted. I adore you, and I hope you enjoy this.


2:31 PM, June 6th, 2009

Vicious Veronicas Posted:

Hello, everyone. Welcome to a new day of a new blog. We've been expecting you. (Wow, doesn't that sound just a tiny bit creepy? Jesus.) Anyway, just to get that whole 'if you're new here' (and we know you're not) crap out of the way...

Welcome to the Burn Blog. We are the Vicious Veronicas, and we welcome you fully. Our mission on this wonderous, wonderous blog is to bring joy and laughter to our audience. We don't make it a point to target anyone...

Right. Haha.

Yesterday we treated you all with a blog about Chad Dylan Cooper's 'Charm', and today we're going to tackle a new layer. But first we'd like to bring to your attention the third annual How-Bad-Can-You-Burn contest. It's fairly simple. Leave a comment, and if we think it's kickass enough, we'll put you in the running for Best-Burn. It must pertain to the blog of the day. So, yesterday you would have posted a burn about Douche Nozzle's charm. Today you'll post about whatever we bring up. Got it? No? Then don't fucking bother, dipshit.

Anyway, yesterday we got a pretty distinctive post.

C/P From DoucheNozzle'sHomeSlice:

"They belong together, is that what you think faerie? Maybe they do. But they're both too damn stupid to do a thing about it. :P Stupid Hollywoods."

Now...this is odd, don't you think? How does this douche bag know douche nozzle? Hmm? Or maybe...maybe this douche bag is douche nozzle. Hmm. I guess all we can do is speculate, poke fun, and burn.

We'll be back shortly with the blog.

- VV

2:40 PM, June 6th, 2009

Vicious Veronicas Posted:

Layer Four: The Look

Quick Poll: Does Douche Nozzle's look just scream "GAYGAYGAY" to you?

A.) Kinda. At least his pants aren't as tight as those Jonas guys...

B.) Fuck. Yeah. He looks like a freaking douche...the douche.

C.) Who's douche nozzle?

D.) Gay? Doesn't that mean happy? I guess he looks pretty happy...he's alway smiling...

If you answered A, we so get you. Those Jonas freaks need to stop wearing dick huggers. Like, seriously.

If you answered B, high fives for you. We must rid the world of douches, one sad little Hollywood at a time!

If you answered C, you better just be pulling our leg. Otherwise, we're going to have to ask you to jump off the nearest cliff/building/bridge.

If you answered D, you're a douche bag. Go fuck a duck. Or...something. I dunno. Just get the hell off of our page. You're contaminating the sacredness.

Alright, kids. Here's the freaking deal. Chad Dylan Cooper, affectionately called Douche Nozzle round this part of the woods (;D), looks like a freaking piece of bubblicious bubble gum. He fluffs his hair. He wears makeup to his premieres (I've got sources on that one!) and he drives an automatic. AN AUTOMATIC. Everything that surrounds his 'look' screams "I'm a pussy, hear me meow!"

Sigh.

Has there ever been a bigger douche bag than CDC? Has there? We think not! We dare say that Douche Nozzle is the biggest douche of all freaking time.

And now, kiddies, we invite you to send in your burns about Chad's look. Don't be afraid to push yourself to the limit. Make it bad. Make it hurt. Make him want to crawl under a rock and die seven times. ;)

Make. It. Hurt.

You've got three more days until we pick a winner. So burn, baby burn! Winner gets a hundred bucks in cash.

No, really. We're not joking this year. We actually have the cash this time! ^_^

Viciously yours,

The Veronicas

2:43 PM, June 6th, 2009

Overuse of Emoticons Posted:

Holy CRAP. Best. Blog. Ever.
Burn Entry: You know that look Douche Nozzle does when he's interviewing? Well, is it just me, or do people get that same look when they really gotta go take a shit?

2:47 PM, June 6th, 2009

The First Ghost Boy Posted:

Seriously Veronicas. You can do no wrong. ;)
Burn Entry: The only difference in the Nozz's look, and my girl during her period is that my girl still looks better.

2:48 PM, June 6th, 2009

0TwistedAngel0 Posted:

Genius, ladies. True ownage. All it takes is one look at your blog to make me feel all fuzzy warm and happy inside. ;D

2:51 PM, June 6th, 2009

camirae Posted:

Oh, Veronicas. As much as I'd love to bash DN's looks...it's proving to be difficult. And, what can I say - as long as he continues to take his shirt off in Mackenzie Falls, I am certainly not complaining. The boy is FINE. :P

2:54 PM, June 6th, 2009

Pwnguin Posted:

XDDDD. Oh, my GOD. I picked A just because of the Jonas comment. God...could their pants BE any tighter!? I THINK NOT!


"Aww, Chad...do you need a hug?"

Chad Dylan Cooper stared solemnly at the blog dedicated soley to him for the entire week. If these stupid Veronica chicks weren't enough to depress him, then the fact that his mad desire was standing right next to him and didn't return his feelings was. He simply shook his head. "No."

"...don't let them get to you, Chad! They're worthless pieces of scum!"

"...but you said you read their blog religiously."

"Well...yeah...so what!? That doesn't mean that their blog is full of truth! It's just really funny. Like, one time they were talking about Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato and how totally stupid it was that they didn't share a kiss in Camp Rock. Which is completely true!" She beamed at Chad and hoped that maybe he'd cheer up a little.

When his lips curled up she smiled. Victory for the Munroe child!

"I guess it can't be all bad," he grudgingly admitted.

"That's the spirit! Now, don't click on the next page because there's a really long discussion about...uh..." She scratched the back of her head. "You know what? On second thought, forget I said anything."

He frowned. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No, Sonny. What's on the page?"

The comedian put her hands up in surrender and backed out of his dressing room. "Nothing...I'll catch you later Chad..."

As soon as she was out of the way, he clicked on the next page. Then his eyes widened. And a fierce growl escaped from his throat.

"THERE ARE NINE THOUSAND SEVENTY THREE COMMENTS ON THE SIZE OF MY PENI - "

A string of curses followed suit.

But out in the hallway a particular brunette couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh.

After all, it was she who started that thread.

;)


You guys really CAN enter burns for the contest. I may tweak them a tiny bit to make sure they pertain to the blog of the day, but it'll still be the same foundation. Um...yeah. Feel free to also review with comments you'd like to leave the Veronicas. I'll add them in if I really love them. :)

Always,

Pyro