Although Harry was used to the uncomfortable way of traveling, he fell on the ground after the portkey had transported him and his stuff. He remained lying on the cold sand for a few seconds, before the dizziness faded and he could sit up.
He looked around curiously, breathing the salty air and hearing waves in the background.
She has made it, was his first thought, living by the sea; her dream has come true.
He stood up and looked around, for she probably would be near.
And there she was, a few hundred yards away from him. Just like him she stood up, and even from that distance he could see how beautiful she was. Her hair seemed to be like it had been in her youth; she wasn't as skinny anymore as she had been, even after her escape from Azkaban; and her usually extremely pale cheeks were flushed. The simply green dress she was wearing only made her look more like a queen in his eyes. The ghost she had been was replaced by a middle-aged woman who seemed determined to live again the years from her youth, which she basically had missed, thanks to Voldemort.
They just stared at each other, not sure what do to after they hadn't seen each other for such a long time. Slowly she walked towards him, and he too approached her carefully.
When they were close enough to look each other in the eyes and he saw how hers sparkled when she looked at him, he knew it was alright.
He ran towards her and took her in his arms. She hugged him so tightly it almost left him breathless, but it was a miraculous feeling. They were together again, that was the most important thing, no matter how it would work out in the future. But according to the way she embraced him, at least one aspect of his life would become how it was supposed to be.
She was more alive than anybody or anything he had ever seen; an aura of happiness seemed to be around her. The brown eyes which once had been so sad and almost dead, shone with an intensity he had never witnessed before. More had changed, he vaguely noticed: during their encounter at the Department of Mysteries they were almost the same length, now he was several inches taller than her.
"You're back," was the first thing she said, almost whispering.
"I had to," he muttered, too lost in her to think properly. "Well, I mean, I tried to deny it, but I couldn't bare to be away from you, and Hedwig…"
Though she tried to hide her disappointment, her eyes hardened and within a few seconds the happiness seemed to have left her.
"You tried to deny it? And who is Hedwig? Harry, I thought… you had made me believe…"
Harry didn't understand what she was talking about at first. Wasn't it clear how happy he was to see her? Only when she turned around and walked away from him, he realized what his words had suggested.
"Bellatrix! I didn't mean it like that! Please listen, I…"
But she continued walking,apparently to a little cottage in the dunes that could be seen in the distance.
He couldn't let it happen, not like this. His wand was lying next to the necklace that wasn't a portkey any longer, out of his reach. There was only one other way.
He ran to catch up with her. Because of studying and worrying he had lost a lot of his strength, but his desperate longing for her gave him the speed he needed.
"Bellatrix! It isn't what you think, please let met explain!"
She looked over her shoulder and when she saw how close he was to her, she ran faster, but Harry had already almost outrun her.
He didn't see another way to talk to her. He didn't want to end what was going on between like this, whatever it was. But this way he could never talk to her. He needed to do something to prevent her from disappearing from his life again.
He jumped forwards and grasped one of her ankles, so they both fell in the sand: one mess of limbs, hair, heavy breath and soft moans from pain and shock.
They struggled; Bellatrix fought like a wild cat, desperate and determined to break free; but Harry was trying to prevent her from doing so with the same strength.
The position they were in was awkwardly familiar and he tried to ignore her rapidly moving chest and her thighs that brushed his body violently in her struggle to break free. He focused on pinning her arms to the ground, so he could force her to listen to him.
Suddenly a knife was pointed to his throat.
"Don't even think about it," she said. "If you ever touch me again, I'll make sure it's the last thing you'll ever do."
Reluctantly he let her arms go, but kept leaning over her.
"Bellatrix," he said while trying to catch is breath and hoping she wouldn't kill him before he had spoken to her. "I'm not doing what you probably think I'm doing. I just need to explain what I said, it isn't what you think. Hedwig is the name of my owl, not another woman or whatever. Believe me, they tried, but I haven't been with someone except for you. I couldn't forget about you."
But she couldn't be that easily be persuaded, although the knife wasn't at his throat anymore.
"You said you had tried to ignore me, like I am some cheap whore you aren't supposed to care about," she said stubbornly.
"I have never thought of you like that," he ensured her, while he softly caressed her cheek, hoping the look of intense sadness in her eyes would disappear.
"You're all I have… please don't tell me that I've waited, that I have survived, for two years to find that something is nothing."
"Never," he said again. "What I tried to say is that if people knew about us… I thought you wanted to be left alone. Well, I had expected that, after what had happened, and they barely let me leave Hogwarts."
A small smile reached her lips.
"You said 'us', like we are together."
All what had happened only minutes before was apparently forgotten and she threw the knife away, as a way of apologizing.
He rolled from her, now it was clear at least one misunderstanding had been cleared up.
"But it's just bizarre."
He hated himself for saying it; so many things he had wanted to tell or ask, and that was all he could think of saying. He closed is eyes, no wanting to see the grief his remark would probably inflict on her.
"No, it's not," she said softly.
Before he could open his eyes in surprise, her lips caressed his, and he totally surrendered to her warmth and tenderness. The energy and happiness which was within her again, reached him too when they deepened the kiss. He stroked her back with as much affection as he could. Her lips and tongue made him forget about the two dull and empty years that had passed since their first meeting, and her breath and body made him feel alive again. He tried to give her the same feeling, and according to the way she clung to him, he succeeded.
Finally they broke the kiss, and she let her head rest on his shoulder.
"I missed you," she whispered. "I missed you intensely, every single day."
"I missed you too," he replied, while he continued caressing her back.
"Why didn't you come earlier?" she asked, almost inaudible.
"I thought you didn't want me to. The letter you sent me along with the Invisibility Cloak was so short; there was nothing about you. I thought you didn't want me to."
"I did, but I had to be very careful, especially since the Dark L… Voldemort was after me. I think he still is."
Harry sat up and looked at her in shock.
"He still is!?"
"Yes."
He looked around anxiously, expecting Voldemort to show up any moment.
"Don't worry," she said. "He's still looking for me, yes, but I think I'm safe now. They are impossible to see, but there are so many protection and safety spells here, even Voldemort can't find me. Because if he would be able to do so, he would have already. And, you know, I have…"
Her speech faltered; it worried him, he could only imagine the horrors she had to go through the last two years.
"I have," she continued uncertain, "cast a special spell on myself. The Invisibility Curse. No one can find me, no matter how hard they try, and no one can see me."
"I can see you," he said immediately, not knowing what to think of it.
She nodded slightly; it was clear she wasn't sure of what to say next exactly.
"According to the person who told me about it long ago, there might be only one human being who is still able to see you… only one."
Her eyes seemed to look straight into his soul, and somehow he presumed what she would say next.
"Only the person who you are destined to love," she added, thus confirming his guess.
She stared at the ground, obviously not wanting to look at him.
He looked at her in shock.
"What's wrong?" she asked, still not looking him in the eyes. "Shouldn't I have told you?"
"I don't know," he replied. "It just sounds… scary. I mean, even if it is true, how can you… does this mean that you and I… Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't… but… it's quite… unexpected. How does that spell work exactly?"
She hid her disappointment by telling him about the curse.
"It's relatively easy to cast the Invisibility Curse upon yourself, but hardly anyone does it. You see, it's called the Invisibility Curse for a reason. As far as we know the process can't be undone for the rest of your life. I was about to do it years ago, but at the last moment I decided not to. I was to young to be invisible for the rest of my life. In retrospect it probably would have been a good decision, but I didn't. Now I had absolutely nothing to lose, and I had to square some debts.
"The brothers Lestrange," he noticed, glad that the 'destined to love' subject seemed to be abandoned. "And Malfoy."
She nodded.
"It was you, I knew it. You messed up Voldemort's plans; I'm sure of it. There was total panic among the Death Eaters, even months after you had killed Malfoy."
She laughed, but at the moment he mentioned the name, her smile faded.
"I'm sorry," Harry muttered, thinking of what Dumbledore had told him regarding the Lestrange brothers and Lucius Malfoy.
"It doesn't matter," she said. "I was thinking… it must be worse now. It is, isn't it?"
Harry nodded. "Yes, it got worse. But it would've happened sooner or later. It could be expected their numbers would increase; by killing the most important ones you created total chaos, Voldemort must have been heavily upset, especially since he never found out who had murdered his most loyal servants. But when you were gone, most of the remaining purebloods joined Vodemort. They want to be on the winning side, and a high position would be preferable."
"Winning side?" she repeated, while her face turned as pale as it had been for a very long time. "Even when…"
"Yes," Harry replied softly. "You killings were useful, but Voldemort has so many servants, he is so powerful… It isn't going well for us…"
"We have to talk," she said. "There must be a way. But it's rather uncomfortable here. My house is small, but I think there's enough room for both of us."
He accepted the invitation by standing up and following her. Together they walked to the cottage while she picked up the knife from the sand. She hid it beneath the fabric of her dress. Only when he too picked up his few belongings and the necklace when they were at the spot where he had appeared, and he put his wand in his pocket, he noticed hers was apparently missing. He checked the pockets of her dress with his eyes, but couldn't see her wand – maybe it was hidden beneath the long sleeves that covered even the largest part of her hand.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, almost blushing.
"Your wand," he answered, wondering why he felt so embarrassed. "It seems to be missing."
"Yes, it is, though it isn't missing in the literal sense of the word. I know exactly where it is, but I don't use it anymore."
Harry stared at the witch in disbelief, but closed his mouth when he realized the reason for this.
"The Ministry can trace it when I use it. Walnut, 12¾ inches, dragon heartstring. Almost as infamous as I am, since I used it to torture the Longbottoms. One of the many things I shouldn't have done. But well… let's say Rodolphus insisted. He couldn't do it himself. He would've killed them immediately. He just lacked the subtlety of hurting someone in such a way he or she will be your puppet instead of an empty shell. He forced me to find out what they knew about Voldemort's location, after he was somehow informed, probably by a spy on the Ministry, that the Longbottoms might had any information about what hat happened to Voldemort. When I tried to figure out what exactly, I didn't expect to find something, but I did. It probably wouldn't have mattered, but they had been around when Voldemort disappeared, and although they were in another part of the village than where your house was, they heard the noises and saw the flash of green light. I'm not sure what else they had seen… I was scared, because Rodolphus expected me to share whatever information I found, and if I didn't do so and he did have the idea I had found something, he would force me to tell so. He knew nothing of psychological pain, but physical… So I said I didn't find anything yet, but that I wouldn't stop looking for it until I did…"
"Wait a second," Harry said. "Are you seriously telling you could've find a clue about Voldemort in the memories of the Longbottoms, but that you didn't force them to share it, although you were a Death Eater?"
"Yes. Believe me, if there is, and was, somebody who didn't want Voldemort to return, it's me. Everyone feared him, of course, but no one was exposed to his cruelty and rage every single hour of every single day. And if I would've witnessed the memories from the Longbottoms, I could've seen something that would give a clue about what had happened to Voldemort… nobody did have any idea at the time, just after his disappearance. And I certainly didn't want to be the one who would find information that might would help to bring him back. So I destroyed the memories…and in order not to raise suspicion, I had to destroy some more. I am sorry for it, but it was them or me."
Silently they walked the last part to the house, while Harry was trying to deal with another shocking piece from Bellatrix' past. For a moment he doubted the story, he just couldn't believe that a Death Eater would destroy such information, knowledge that could've brought Voldemort back so many years earlier. It would probably have made her the most powerful and mighty witch on earth, but when he saw her sad face and remembered what she had told him about the years she had spent serving Voldemort, he realized that she was telling the truth.
"I haven't used my wand for ages. Almost two years ago was the second last time. I cast the Invisibility Curse on myself, and a few hours ago I activated the portkey. In the meantime I just... I don't know. It was very weird at first, but I managed. I was familiar with a life without magic once, though it was only for a very short time, but it helped me through this. Now I'm used to it, but at first it is horrible to actually work to achieve something. But it's strangely deliberating in a way. And I'm sorry it took me so long to send you the Invisibility Cloak, but I didn't know how to contact you in a safe way. Luckily your owl found me. Hedwig is her name, right? Somehow she managed to steal my necklace, and although it doesn't even look like the one I gave you, I understood after quite some time that... why are you laughing?!"
"Nothing," he said, "but she did the exact same thing to me."
"Have you worn it?" she asked quietly.
"Every single day. Even when I slept. I was willing to curse Hedwig when she took it," Harry admitted, smiling. "I realized how fond I was of the thing – and the owner."
She stopped dead in her tracks and faced him. She stared at him, wondering he had really said what she thought she had heard. Then she stepped closer to him and he reached for her, but when his hand was only inches away from her face, Hedwig suddenly appeared in the air and flew down to them. Harry took a step away from Bellatrix and smiled apologizing at her.
"It doesn't matter," she said, feigning nonchalance. "I'm sure it's an important message."
Hedwig landed on Bellatrix' shoulder and Harry took the piece of parchment which was tied to the owl's leg.
"What does it say?" she asked curiously before she realized what she had actually said.
"I'm sorry," she said while her cheeks reddened. "It's your message, not mine."
"Don't worry," he said, wondering how often he had said that sentence already in the rather limited time he had spent with her that day. He started to realize being with her wasn't as easy and natural as he had expected it to be.
He opened the message and immediately noticed Dumbledore's writing.
"How can that be?" Harry asked bewildered. "How can Hedwig bring a letter from Dumbledore when he's in London? I left her less than two hours ago at Hogwarts, and in that time she managed to fly from Hogwarts to London to… where are we here?"
"We're still in England," she said. "I think someone ordered your owl to go to London, and maybe Dumbledore knew the message arrived… that meddlesome man."
The bitter way she said it made him wonder what exactly had happened between Bellatrix and Dumbledore when she was still at Hogwarts and had to tell him about the rape.
"Your owl is strong," she added, "and we're not that far from London. If she had a following wind, she could've made it."
"McGonagall," Harry said suddenly. "She tried to stop me from leaving the castle. I'm sure she must have warned Dumbledore immediately."
Quickly he read the Headmaster's message.
Please return to Hogwarts as soon as possible.
"Is that it?" he asked, slightly annoyed, before he showed the short letter to Bellatrix.
"It seems like it," she answered, while she studied the note like there might was a second message on it.
"Why would he want me to return to Hogwarts? He must realize there's nothing we can do against Voldemort… I had thought he would understand I needed a break."
He stared at Hedwig, like she would give him an answer, but the owl looked to Bellatrix instead. Harry followed her gaze; Bellatrix opened the cottage's door and made a welcoming gesture. Her warm but slightly uncomfortable smile persuaded him: he simply couldn't refuse the offer.
"Please come in," she said when he walked to the door. "You're the first visitor who has ever been here. Except for Hedwig maybe. You can leave when you want, but please, come in first."
The owl flew to a table in a corner of the room when Harry entered the little house. Bellatrix removed some books from the table so the owl could sit there; while she did so Harry had some time to scan the interior.
Although the house was small, there was quite some space inside because all the furniture was placed mostly against the walls, so there was plenty of room left in the middle. The colors from the curtains, carpet and wallpaper where bright and cheerful. Although he hardly could've imagined Bellatrix liking a color that wasn't black and maybe red or emerald green, he found out now her living room contained more colors than the rather excessive decoration of the Gryffindor common room; it was yet another unexpected side from Bellatrix.
"Do you like it?" she asked when she saw him checking the room.
"Yes," he said truthfully. "Cozy and happy. Can I ask how you get it, without using magic?"
"Of course you can," she replied. "I have known this place since I was an infant. When I was only ten years old I ran away from my home; I couldn't stand it anymore that my parents tried to brainwash me, hoping I would become a 'respectable and noble Black' so I would 'marry a wealthy pureblood' like I was 'supposed to do'. I still hear my parents saying it… I was only ten. One day I was so tired of it… they had locked me up in my room when I had asked them once again why I had to hate Muggles. Somehow I managed to escape through the window. I'm sure they had locked it all carefully, and I didn't know any spells yet, I even didn't have a want. I still can't explain it… somehow the glass from the window just vanished," she said like she still couldn't believe it.
Harry recalled his own adventure in the zoo, so many years ago, and could easily recognize the surprise he had felt and she must had experienced too.
"I climbed from the first floor to the ground, and when my parents didn't come immediately after me like I had expected, I ran away from my home. I don't really know why I did it, it was just some sort of intuition. I left the small village where we lived, which is located not so far away from here, and I walked to the dunes. Somehow that place had always attracted me, but I was never allowed to go there. When my parents weren't there to stop me, I finally went to discover that mysterious place. I was only a little girl, so of course I got lost. My parents didn't come to find me: perhaps they really didn't know I had run away, or maybe they thought I would return sooner or later, begging for forgiveness… both options are probable, knowing my parents. I didn't want to return to people who didn't love me and only wanted me to marry a pureblood and have a lot of pureblood children so the pureblood's pureblood would get even more disturbed since I probably would have to marry some relative; even in those days there were hardly any purebloods left so we were often forced to marry family members."
She stared angrily outside, like she still could hear her parents tell her what to do, or better, what not to do.
"I had hardly ever been outside that late, and I especially had never been outside the village at night. I wasn't used to the extreme darkness above the sea. I couldn't see my own hands, and I still remember how scared I was. I wandered randomly through the dunes, hoping that I would find some light at least. After a while I was so exhausted I couldn't take one more step. I fell asleep in the sand, feeling even lonelier than I always was at home. When I woke up, only a few hours later, I found myself in a small and warm place, and I heard someone humming. There was an elderly man in the room. He told me he had found me close to the beach and that I felt very cold; he was afraid I would get ill or worse if I remained there, so he had taken me to his home. I didn't have to be afraid, he told me, he wouldn't harm me and I could go whenever I wanted to. But I didn't want to go; it was a totally new experience to me to meet a grown-up who actually respected me and asked me what I wanted. So I stayed at the night, and somehow I felt so much at ease there. I didn't want to face my parents, so when he didn't tell me to go in the morning, I just stayed in his little cottage and helped him with his work. He was a fisherman and he thought me how to do that work. It was obvious he was a Muggle, but I didn't care at all. To me it was the perfect way to show my parents that I would do the things I wanted myself. They couldn't see me anyway, but the idea was good enough to me – or at least, I thought they couldn't see me. I had wandered around for hours in the dunes and I was sure, being the little girl that I was, that I was somehow in another world and that my parents could never find me. Actually, I was only a few miles away from their home, and within a few days they had found me. They were furious… furious. Before I had fully understood what was going on, they had already murdered that poor old fisherman. I cried, and because I did so, I angered them only more of course. After that I blacked out. The first thing I could remember was that I was in my bed, still crying. My parents had cast protection spells now in my room, everywhere, so I couldn't escape again. They told me that if I would ever something like that again, they would made sure I'd really regret it."
She looked at him sadly. "That's the moment I was sure I never wanted to be like my parents… never wanted to be a pureblood… but it was clear what would happen to me if I didn't obey them. So I did. I joined Voldemort like they expected me to do, I married Rodolphus… and when I noticed what I was really doing, it was too late… I couldn't escape from them anymore. The only way to try to survive for me was to pretend to be a loyal Death Eater, while in reality I kept dreaming about that place in the dunes. You see, my parents had destroyed the fisherman's house, but when I was older, more powerful, and I was at Hogwarts, I would sneak away at days we were supposed to go to Hogsmeade and I went back to that place. I managed to restore what was left of the house, and I placed there all the safety spells I knew. And some other tricks to make sure that if I would ever live there, that life would be comfortable. Every time I went back to improve it, I felt more I would never actually live there, but the thought that I could live there, if I really couldn't stand it anymore to live the life I did, was very supportive in a certain way. But I never actually went… I was sure Voldemort would find me and torture me, really torture me, before he would kill me.
And I feared that… I feared that so much. And then, two years ago, when we met, it was clear to me. I'd rather die than serve him again. Rather a small change of freedom and the risk of the pain, than going back to Voldemort. I went back to that place, and although I hadn't been there since I had left Hogwarts, it hadn't changed a bit, thanks to all those spells. During the years I had served him, I had learned some rather useful spells and curses, which I could use too to protect the house. And when I was certain enough about the defense and I had cast the Invisibility Curse on myself, I went back to kill those who have dominated my life for too long. Except for Voldemort… that was simply impossible. And when that was done, I returned here and never left."
They remained silent for a while after she had told him what she had done during those years.
"So now I finally know," Harry said. "I've been thinking about you so often, do you know that?"
"I'm very glad to hear that there was something who did want me to make it… and I'm glad it was you. You are a special person Harry… and not only because what you do against Voldemort. But let's not talk about that now. It's getting late. I'm quite hungry after all this talking. I'm going to make dinner. The question is: for one or for two?"
Harry looked at Dumbledore's message, which he was still holding.
"Do you have a quill?"
"There are a few on the table," she answered, bewildered, "but…"
"That'll do," he said when he summoned the quill.
"Professor, I won't return to Hogwarts this evening," he spelled while he wrote that message down.
"Are you sure?" she asked, not able to hide another smile that brightened her face.
"Yes," he said while he signed the message. "I'm sure."
"Ok then," she answered before she headed towards the kitchen.
Harry made sure the note was securely tied to Hedwig's leg before he walked outside with the owl on his arm.
"Bring this to Dumbledore," he said. "And please bring back his answer – if he answers – as soon as you can. I'm very curious to know how he'll react."
Hedwig flew off immediately. Harry stared at the owl, who was flying from Bellatrix' place back to the wizarding world now instead of the other way around.
Although Bellatrix had tried to reassure him, he still felt Dumbledore's message had arrived too fast, and that something was going on which he should be aware of. But Bellatrix' sweet voice asked him to come in because dinner was almost ready, and said that he just didn't have to worry.
He told himself he would consider again to go back to Hogwarts the next day; a few more extra hours of relaxing and personal joy couldn't harm anybody, could they?
Bellatrix called again. He stepped inside and watched amused how she was preparing dinner without magic. When he laughed aloud she playfully threw a dishcloth at him, which hit him full in the face. They both grinned like they were little children, until Bellatrix commanded him to help her preparing dinner while trying to keep a straight face.
A few minutes later dinner was ready. It was the first meal since quite some time Harry actually tasted, and the smile on Bellatrix' face when he complimented her about the food was so sincere and beautiful that all his plans about returning to Hogwarts were forgotten.
