I reluctantly got up from my spot next to Mickey and stretched. He looked up at me his eyes questioning as to why I moved. I smiled at him.
"Okay guy's I'm going home I need sleep. Seth, you coming?" Seth came home sometimes but most of the time he stayed with Camryn at her house. Seeing as her dad was a single parent that worked in Chicago and only came home on holidays to visit with his daughter. She loved it too much in La Push and her dad just couldn't make her leave. Her father still paid all of the bills and mailed her money for groceries every two weeks and Seth just stayed to make sure his imprint was safe. So he said but I knew that if you put two nineteen year old kids of the opposite sex in one house with no adults under the same roof you get things I don't even want to know about.
Seth shook his head in the negative and I nodded. I looked back at Mickey.
"Give me a ride?" He smiled and nodded standing up in the process.
"Thanks I'll be there in a minute" he nodded again. While I rounded the corner into the living room. When I walked in all of the imprint girls stopped talking and they all looked up at me. They all gave me kind smiles and this was one time were my confidence and pride did not take over my thinking and I cursed whoever created the nervous emotion. I walked in and stood in front of the couch. Shoving my hands in my pockets.
"Uh, Hey I just uh…wanted to say, uh I'll see you guys later" I said rocking back and forth on my toes keeping my eyes on the ground. I took my hand out of my pocket and pushed some of my hair out of my face then turned around and walked out into the hall way.
"Uh Leah?" I turned around to see Emily in front of me.
"Yeah?"
"Um, I know it's not my place to tell you what to do or anything. But I just wanted to say Uh, you don't have to be shy around us or anything, your family, Uh I mean you've always been family but-"
"Emily, its okay I understand what you're trying to say"
"Good, I guess I'm the one that's kind of nervous though. I'm really happy you're talking to me again" I nodded and then looked her in the eye.
"Emily, look I know you're happy I'm talking to you again and all but that doesn't exactly mean I trust you again…" She nodded and the smile on her face looked a little forced now. She started playing with her wedding ring. Twisting it on her finger, something I noticed she did when she was nervous also. I didn't know if it was the smart thing to do or if it was going to contradict what I was saying to her but I didn't care. I needed to reassure her and myself that letting her back in was going to be at least almost okay. So I took her hands in mine and squeezed just a little.
"All in due time Emily, I promise." She nodded. I turned to leave again; I had one foot out of the door way when I heard her mutter something behind me.
"He's changed you Leah, already it's there. You're becoming you again. Not the cold hearted shell Sam and I made you. Mostly me. Please, I know I have no right to ask but please for the sake of my already aching heart. Keep yours warm, loving, and beating."
I turned back around to respond to her request but she was already headed back towards the living room. I took a deep breath to steady myself and walked out into the hallway headed for the front door to leave. This was one of my longest goodbyes yet and I was just going to be back tomorrow.
"She's still going to hate herself because of what she did to you, you know? Whether you decide to talk to her again or not. The way your face looked when you found out about us. How you cursed her. She dreams about it at night." Apparently I spoke to soon I probably won't be coming back tomorrow. I didn't turn to face him. I still hated him with a passion especially after tonight's glares sent across the dinner table
"That's on her Sam, I told her about how I was going to handle the situation now. Slowly, No forced friendships. I will not lay my heart on the line to be destroyed again."
"The scars on her face. The scars I gave her. She says they're okay. You know why? Because she sees them as punishment for tearing us apart"
I turned to face him then. Murder in my eyes.
"What are you getting at Sam? Huh? What game are you playing this time? Are you trying to guilt trip me into a relationship with Emily? Are you not happy that I'm genuinely smiling at her? Because you know I only used to smile at her when I was picturing her death by my hands in my head right?"
"Just don't string her along Leah, Don't crush her again" he growled fiercely in my face
"It not my fault in the first place that she was crushed. Now is it Sam? You just want to blame me because you don't have the balls to own up to your own mistake. You can't let me go and she knows it just like you do, just like I do. But I'm telling you I'm done" With that I walked away Calling out for Mickey who was still Talking to the guys by the front door.
"Hey let's go, I'm tired" He said bye one last time and I grabbed his hand pulling him out of the door.
"Whoa Lee, slow down. What's the rush?" I just shrugged and walked to the passenger side of his car and he unlocked to door and we hopped in. I didn't bother with the seat belt. I wouldn't need it for a while. I had just decided to stop phasing today. We were on the main road by the time my thoughts were complete and the silence was just causing Sam's words to echo in my head.
"Where'd you go?" I looked out of my window at the passing green streaks that were supposed to be trees.
"Hmmm?"
"Where did you go? When your mom made you move?"
"Oh, Colorado to stay with my Aunt it wasn't exactly warm. Well until I turned fifteen that is"
I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't look at him. I continued to look at the passing green fixtures outside of my window
"Did you ever meet anyone?" I really didn't want to look at him then. I didn't want to see his reaction. I didn't know where this round of questioning came from, but I couldn't fight the fact that they were good questions either.
"Yeah. Actually I did. Her name was Marie" I stiffened at that I wasn't ready for this talk. I know it was kind of hypocritical for him to have to see me walk around and talk to Sam for now on but I couldn't even talk about his past girlfriends.
The erg to rip each and every one of those girls' heads off was over powered me and I growled silently. Mine. He's mine. Mine. I repeated that over and over to myself and it calmed me a little. Stupid imprint making me so possessive. I was quiet the rest of the ride and didn't even notice that we had pulled up in my drive way a few minutes later.
"I figured you still lived in the same place. Harry built it from the bottom up. How is he anyway?"
I flinched from the mentioning of my father. That was still a sore spot for me and it always would be no matter how many years pass. I opened the car door.
"Dad died a few years back and mom's dating Charlie Swan she moved out about two years ago. So it was just me and Seth but since he's been staying with Camryn. It's been just me." I got out and walked up the front porch steps and pushed the front door open. Why bother locking it we live in La Push for god's sake who would bother breaking and entering? I heard him walk in behind me and shut the front door. I walked up the stairs to the second floor and into the master bedroom which was now mine and flopped right onto the bed.
He walked in a few minutes later and stood in the doorway leaning against the door jam.
"I'm not going to say sorry about your dad because I know you don't want that. You don't want pity, and I know that you're pissed at your mom but won't say anything; because you're glad she's finally happy again. I also know that you're tired and want to sleep but I'm not going to let you do that."
"How do you know me at all? You've been gone for like seven years. That's a lot of time for someone to change." He nodded
"That is very true Miss. Clearwater, but you have to think I was your best friend since we were in diapers until we were ten and torn apart so if I'm correct ten is longer than seven. Also I know how your parents raised you. Tough, Strong, Not easily broken, but also a woman, kind hearted Loving and Caring."
"Okay and your point is?" I asked the sarcasm heavy in my voice
"Seven years of not seeing me does not break ten years of that type of character instilled in somebody. So your still that Leah, I just have to chisel away all of the hurt, Heartache, and pain caked on top"
I sat up on my knees and pointed a finger at him
"How do you know you're the one that has to do it? Imprinting means nothing to me I could easily fight it" he Chuckled and pushed himself off of the door jamb walking towards me until our noses were almost touching.
"I tell you what you can fight it all you want but I will still chase you. You're who I would have wanted anyway Leah, imprinting or not. The imprint just helped solidify my decision."
I had to admit that the fact that he would have picked me anyway shocked me but only for a second, but in that one second I lost focus and in that one second his warm soft lips were on mine and I couldn't help but to sink into it. It was funny because his taste and smell hit me just like it did seven years ago and couldn't think of one reason why I gave him up for Sam. My arms wrapped around his neck welding him to me while he clutched at my hips and sides with a need to remember my every curve.
I pulled back first and he growled at the loss of contact. He leaned his forehead against mine and looked in my eyes both of us trying to get our breathing back to normal.
"Just like I remember it, but just a little bit better" I heard him mutter and chuckled
"You know this is so wrong right?" he pulled away from me some and stared at me curiously
"Why?"
"Mickey, you can't just come back and expect things to be the way they were when we were ten years old" I dropped my arms from around his neck and he unwrapped his arms from my waist and I instantly felt cold despite my own heat.
"Leah, I didn't expect that at all. I expected for you to still know who I was as I know you. I expected us to be friends again and for you to love me as strongly as I would come to love you. I didn't expect the imprint but if you look at it the way I am that just allows us to skip over the friendship area and be together." I shook my head.
"I can't do that Hayden; I can't put my trust in fate again. It took my cousin and screwed me over the last time I did. I will not lay my ass on the line again."
He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.
"I'm not going to force myself on you Leah, but I am going to ask you to let yourself feel again. Don't shut me out just yet. I'm not Sam."
I was caught off guard again by that. I didn't expect him to say anything like that. He kissed my cheek and walked to the door.
"Our Date is not cancelled. I'll leave the money on the kitchen table." He smiled at me and left. I was left in my room completely puzzled as to how to deal with Hayden. He wasn't the same. He was more of a gentlemen, a lot wiser, and a lot more…Grown up, and right then and there I knew if I was going to survive in this imprint I was going to have to do a lot more growing up than just accepting Emily again and all of the imprints. There was going to have to be some major changes in my life and some of them were going to take some time while others are going to have to be snap decisions and one snap decision I was making for tonight was to go to sleep now and dealing with the rest of Hayden tomorrow.
