The Quiet Scream
a Seddie fanfiction
by Emma

Summary: He's there. Then he's not. Am I going insane? Is life torturing me? The only thing I know, is that I'm afraid to admit I might be crazy. Because if I'm crazy. They'll take him away.

Ship: SEEDDDIE :D


Chapter Four
Day 2

I rolled over in my bed so I was lying on my back. I stared at my ceiling. Was yesterday a dream? Could it have been a dream?

I got out of my bed and walked over to my calender ... January 15th was crossed off ... Carly came to see me on the 14th ... today was January 16th.

This is insane. This couldn't be happening! Freddie couldn't be alive ... if his death was a dream ... wouldn't my hair be back to normal?

I turned to look at myself in the mirror. No ... my hair was still short.

This ... this couldn't be real.

Yet, I knew it was. There was no mistaking it.

Whatever was going on, it was real. Too real.

It was only about ten in the morning on a Monday morning, Carly would be at school of course. Exactly when I NEEDED her, like REALLY NEEDED her.

But ... if yesterday was real ... would Freddie be alive today as well? The thought made my heart beat faster. If he was alive, I could forget this ever happened, and I could tell him I love him, and everything could go on as normal.

I ran into the shower and quickly got myself clean, I pulled on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a wool sweater. I pulled on a pair of the only winter boots that I have, and my winter jacket and started to make my way to Ridgeway High.

Ridgeway was actually about half-an-hour away from my house. That's why I always took a cab ... but I didn't really feel like taking cabs anymore.

You never know, it could be a creeper planning their every move to tear you into bloody pieces and then bury you, leaving no evidence or possibly way that they could ever find you again. You just ... never know.

When I finally reached Ridgeway I waited until it was 11:20, so that I knew that Carly was having lunch and I could talk to her. And possibly Freddie, at about 11:10 I walked into the school, and there was something new on the wall, something that hadn't been there since I was here last.

A plaque, a shining golden plaque hung on the wall, I walked over to it and my mouth gaped.

FREDDIE BENSON

November 18th 1995 - September 28th 2013

Was 18

Was a Straight A Student

Had Perfect Attendance.

WILL be greatly missed.

No way. I ... it couldn't ... he couldn't.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?

The bell rang, and students started coming out of the class rooms, most of them knew who I was whispering things like, "Hey, that's Sam Puckkett." "Man, what's wrong with her?" "She hasn't been at school in, like, forever." "Well it was because of Freddie Benson, there were a few rumors they were going out."

Tears started to fall down my face as I ran to Carly's locker, I sunk to the floor as more tears ran down my face.

"Sam?" I heard Carly's voice call to me, "Sam?!" this time she called in a more panicked voice.

I felt her hand on my knee, and I looked up at her, my eyes tear-streaked.

She took my hand and pulled me up.

"C'mon, let's go."

"G-go where?" I asked.

"Anywhere, anywhere but here." she told me.

She brought me to the park and sat me down beside her on the bench.

"Sam, what's wrong?" she asked, after a few seconds she added, "Well, I know what's basically wrong, but ... is it just him, or something more?"

"I ... I saw him." I whispered.

"What?"

"I saw Freddie, flesh-and-bone, real-life, not a dream," I wiped my eyes on my coat, "You saw him too ... it was yesterday, yesterday the 15th."

"Sam, yesterday I was trying to call you, but there was either no answer, or your Mom said you hadn't come out of your room once, and was sleeping."

I felt more tears coming down my face, and I buried it into my knees.

"It was just a dream Sam ... a very bad dream. You're okay. Come here." Carly whispered, bringing my into her arms.

"I-it was-s s-so re-eal." I sobbed, "H-he was t-there a-and ev-every thing was alr-right."

"Shh, it's okay, I know."

"Don't you miss him too, Carly?"

"'Course I do. But I know that Freddie wouldn't want us like this, wallowing in the nothingness because he was gone. He would want us to be happy. To laugh. To smile." Carly said, "Because he's always here in–"

"– In my heart, I know, I know." I rolled my eyes.

"Exactly." Carly said with a comforting smile.

"Why didn't you tell me about the plaque?" I suddenly found myself asking.

"Oh ... well ... I just, decided it would be best. Because you're still taking everything so hard, and ... I just didn't – I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Just a little shocker to come to see to, and find that on the wall."

"It's hard to look at it, I know. I still don't." Carly admitted.

"How's Spencer? I haven't seen him in a while." I asked.

"He's good, working on a bunch of new sculptures, like always. But I can tell he still misses Freddie, a lot. We all do."

"And Ms. Benson?"

"Very well, actually. She was kinda – well, like you – for about the first two months, but lately she's been coming over a lot, spending supper. She's not that crazy anymore, I think she realized that she was too overprotective. But she said she's thinking of adopting."

"Really? From where?"

"Japan, or China I think. She wants another boy."

I swallowed, "What does she want to name it?"

"Freddie," Carly said, "Just Freddie, no 'Fredward' or anything."

"Wow."

"Yep."

"Do you think she's actually going to do it?" I asked.

"I think so, not now, but probably in a year or two." Carly said.

I stared at the ground, "I think I'm going to go, you should head back to school." I said standing up.

"Are you sure? If you want we could just hang out, I could skip school."

"No ... you go," I said, "I'm fine, really."

"Okay Sam, bye."

Maybe this was all a dream, maybe my Mom crossed off the date and I just had a dream, a ridiculous, torturous and wonderful dream.

I've always wished I could get over him, that I could go and live my life like Carly or Spencer did now. That I could go fall in love with someone else, and be happy for once.

But I knew I couldn't do that, I knew that I couldn't be happy until I told him. Until I told Freddie that I loved him. But that was impossible, he was dead. Gone. Forever. And I couldn't change that.


So, here's the next chapter. I hope you liked it :)

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