"Previously on Total Drama Island Crossover…" Chris introduced the new episode. "We spent our time at the beach, doing beach things. Sand castles were built. Waves were shredded. Hot dogs were eaten. And dreams were crushed. Noah set up a secret alliance with Owen and Ezekiel in an attempt to get Harold's Invincibility Statue out of the game, with some ulterior motives in mind. In the end, Team Girl Power lost the challenge again, and even though Dakota got the most votes… again… she had found an Invincibility Statue in the bathroom… again… sending Beth home. What do we have in store for our campers this week? Find out, right here, on Total. Drama. Island! CROSSOVER!"

Warp to the girls' cabin. It's early in the morning, and a majority of the ladies are asleep.

All of them but LeShawna and Dakota, who were arguing rather loudly.

"Come on. Where did you get that statue?" LeShawna asked her.

"I told you. I found it." Dakota told her.

"Where on earth could you have found two Invincibility Statues?"

"None of your business!"

The other girls were starting to wake up.

"It became my business when it started costing my friends the game. Now where did you get those things?"

"I'm not telling!"

"Um, guys, I don't want to interrupt, but you might want to keep it down." Lindsay said as she gestured to Eva, who was still asleep.

"We're not through with this." LeShawna whispered to Dakota.

"What?" Dakota asked loudly.

"I said we're not through with this!" LeShawna raised her voice.

Suddenly there was a loud stomp from somewhere in the cabin. The other girls all slowly glanced over to Eva, who was stomping up to LeShawna.

"WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP?" Eva yelled.

"Dakota's been getting free Invincibility Statues and she ain't telling us where she got 'em." LeShawna told her.

"WELL KEEP IT DOWN!" Eva stomped. "I'm getting breakfast," she muttered as she left the cabin.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"That Eva girl's got a temper on her." Jo remarked. "It's no wonder her team hasn't lost yet. Everyone else is probably afraid of what would happen if she did lose."

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Warp to the beach. Geoff is taking a nap on a big rock, and just relaxing.

"Geoff! Geoff!" Dakota shook him by the shoulders.

"Ughh…" Geoff was still groggy from being awoken. "Dakota? What is it?"

"Everyone's been confronting me about the Invincibility Statue!"

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"Get them to stop!"

"Well what am I supposed to do about it? All I did was let you borrow my team's Statue."

"Tell them! I don't want it to be all my fault!"

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"What am I going to do?" Geoff asked no one in particular. "I don't want to expose myself to the hate, but Dakota's my friend. I'm gonna need some major help with this one."

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Warp to the amphitheater. Chris is standing in the middle with a microphone.

"Welcome, campers, to the TDI Talent Show Extravaganza!" Chris announced.

"I thought we already did a talent show in this game." Harold said.

"We did." Chris told him. "Sadly, coming up with new challenges is not anyone's talent. Here's the deal: Each team must come up with three acts showcasing your team's talents. Each act will be performed on this stage, and will be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 by our very own Chef Hatchet. The team whose acts get the least overall score will lose and have to vote somebody off the island. The talent show will start at eight o'clock. I'll see you then!"

Warp to Team Losers.

"Don't worry guys. The Zeke has this challenge in the bag, yo." Ezekiel boasted.

"And what exactly will 'The Zeke' be doing tonight?" Noah asked condescendingly.

"I can shoot a bow and arrow like crazy, yo." Ezekiel told them.

"Sure. Harold, what will you be doing?"

"I haven't decided yet." Harold admitted. "I'm torn between showcasing my kung-fu skills and my Num-Yo skills."

"We're doomed." Noah said.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"… which is perfect for my plan, by the way." Noah smirked.

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Warp to Team Cody.

"I think Cody should be in the talent show!" Sierra announced.

"But I don't have any tal-" Cody was about to speak before Sierra covered his mouth with her hand.

"Why don't you participate in the challenge, Sierra?" Alejandro suggested.

"Of course! Cody and I could do an act together!" Sierra squealed. "We could sing a romantic duet!" She hugged Cody closely to her body.

"I really don't get a choice here, do I?" Cody asked rhetorically.

"Well, do you ladies want to do anything?" Al asked Eva and Dawn.

"Yeah! I'm gonna lift weights!" Eva announced.

"Dawn?" Alejandro asked.

"Hm?" Dawn was meditating quietly by herself. "Oh, no thank you."

"Well then, I suppose I can rally a soccer ball in the air." Alejandro said. "Do we all agree?"

"Yeah!" Sierra and Eva yelled.

Warp to Lightning Squad.

"Lightning's gonna throw a football over those mountains!" Lightning exclaimed.

"I bet I could do more push-ups than all of you." Jo bragged.

"Permission to come up with a killer ensemble for my act?" Brick asked no one in particular. Jo and Lightning busted up laughing. "Hey! I went to fashion school!"

"Haha. Whatever, Cadet Meat." Jo mocked. "What about you two?" she asked Geoff and B.

"Not me, dude. I almost screwed up the last talent show for my team." Geoff said.

B wasn't listening to the rest of his team; instead he was carving something into a tree.

"Great. Looks like the three of us are in the talent show!" Jo told Lightning and Brick.

"Sha-YES!" Lightning cheered

"All right!" Brick cheered.

Geoff walked up to B.

"Hey, dude, can I talk to you about something?" Geoff asked B. B had finished carving the tree, and moved over from it to reveal a detailed picture of Chris. "That's wicked, dude! Anyway, so my friend is in kind of a dilemma. Everyone's blaming her for doing something shady. I want to take the blame for it, cuz it's kinda my fault, but you know how this game bites you in the butt with things like that. Oh, what am I gonna do?"

B simply patted Geoff on the shoulder and went to show the rest of his team his carving.

"Come on, dude! I need your help!" Geoff complained.

Warp to Team Girl Power.

"Wait, Chris said we needed three acts, right?" Lindsay asked.

"Yup. That's all three of us." LeShawna said. "So what can you two do?"

"I can model my new bikini!" Lindsay suggested.

"Hey! I was going to model!" Dakota said.

"But I don't know what else to do."

"Well… figure something out!"

"Listen, Lindsay," LeShawna interrupted. "You're a cheerleader, aren't you? Why don't you do that?"

"Oh yeah! Thanks, LaQuisha!"

"As for me, I've got enough moves to keep ten parties shakin'." LeShawna showed off some of her famously poor dance moves.

"That's just-" Dakota started.

"Shhh!" Lindsay cut her off. "She doesn't know."

Warp to Team Losers.

"So, it looks like we've decided." Noah said. "Zeke will be shooting a bow, Harold will show off his Num-Yos, and Owen can… burp the alphabet…" Noah shuddered at the last bit.

"Okay, campers! It's time for lunch! Report to the mess hall immediately if you still want to live!" Chris announced on the PA system.

Warp to lunch. Owen was next in line to receive his slop.

"Say, Chef, do you think I could borrow a 2-liter soda for tonight?" Owen asked.

"You're not gonna try to burp the alphabet again, are ya?" Chef asked.

"Not un-necessarily…" Owen admitted.

"Whatever." Chef put a 2-liter of club soda on Owen's tray. "But if I catch you drinkin' any of this outside of the challenge, I'll be stuffin' you into that bottle, ya understand!"

"Yes sir!" Owen cowered behind his tray.

"Next!" Chef called.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"Ya know, Chef's a good guy." Owen said. "I bet behind all the rough exterior is a soft, warm heart. Oh, but don't tell him I said that. I worry about what he might do to me if he found out I said that."

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Warp to the amphitheater.

A set of spotlights shone on Chris. "Welcome, everyone, to the Camp Wawanakwa TDI Talent Show Extravaganza!" he announced. "It's time to show us your stuff. Each team has prepared three acts of talent for our judge, Mr. Chef Hatchet, to belittle and mock relentlessly. Haha. The first team to go up will be… Team Losers!"

"That's us, eh!" Ezekiel said as he ran up to the stage. He had placed an archery target on one end of the stage and was standing on the other end, shortbow in hand. He fired three arrows in quick succession, and they all hit the target.

Chef ranked it 3 out of 10.

"Wait up, eh!" Zeke ran over to the target and rotated it to reveal that all three arrows hit the bulls-eye.

Chef bumped his score up to a 7.

"Not bad, Zeke!" Chris told him. "Team Cody, you're up."

"Nice going, Zeke!" Harold praised.

"Yeah, nice going." Noah stressed his sarcasm in a failed attempt to remind Zeke of his plan.

Eva was up on the stage with a giant weight that looked like it must have weighed a hundred pounds on either side. Eva, being Eva, lifted it up with no trouble at all.

"I am Eva! Watch me roar!" she yelled.

Chef ranked it 6 out of 10.

"What?! A SIX?! You're gonna pay for this!"

"Whatever, whatever. Team Girl Power, you're up!" Chris announced.

Lindsay walked up on stage with pom-poms in her hands.

"Two, Four, Six, Eight! Who do we appreciate? Chris! Chris! CHRIIIIIIIIS!" Lindsay cheered.

Chef ranked it 2 out of 10.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"What? It worked in Season 2!" Lindsay defended herself. "How was I supposed to remember Chef was judging this time? Chef never does anything!"

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

"As great as that cheer was, it looks like it just didn't cut it for Chef." Chris announced. "Lightning Squad! You're up!"

"Sha-BAM!" Lightning ran up on the stage with a football in hand (that's an American football for all your Europeans out there), and threw it towards Wawanakwa Cliff. Unfortunately, all it did was hit Chef in the face

Chef gave it a 1.

"Thus concludes Round One!" Chris announced. "Ironically enough, Team Losers is in the lead with 7 points, followed by Team Cody with 6, who is then followed by Team Girl Power, and in last, Lightning Squad. Let's see how Round Two changes things up!"

Harold got up on stage. "I'd like to dedicate this performance to the girl of my dreams: the lovely LeShawna." Harold took his Num-Yo's out of his pocket and started doing some intermediate-level tricks with them, until he inevitably hit himself in the crotch. "Ohhhhhh…" Harold grabbed his crotch and fell over.

Chef gave it a 4.

"Oh, Harold, what happened to all that bottled-up talent from Season One, dude?" Chris asked. "Team Cody, you're up."

Alejandro got up on stage with a football (that's a soccer ball for all you Americans) and started rallying it in the air, making sure it never hit the ground.

He probably could have gone all day if not for the fact that Owen suddenly sneezed rather loudly, catching Al off guard and causing him to mess up.

Chef gave him a 7.

"Not bad, Alejandro." Chris applauded. "Team Girl Power!"

LeShawna got up on stage with a boom box (remember when everyone had a boom box? Those were the days) and turned it on. An R&B/Hip-Hop track started playing and LeShawna began dancing. Everyone looked at her disapprovingly, except Harold, who was dancing along to the music in his seat.

Chef gave her a 3 before the track even ended.

"Hey! But I'm not finished yet!" LeShawna argued.

"That'll be enough of that." Chris smiled as an intern pulled LeShawna off the stage with a shepherd's crook. "Lightning Squad?"

Jo got up on stage and started doing push-ups. And not those sexist girl push-ups, she was doing real, manly push-ups. Soon enough she started doing one-handed push-ups.

Unfortunately, Chef had grown bored rather quickly, and gave her a 4.

"Thus concludes Round Two!" Chris announced. "Team Cody is in the lead with 13 points, followed by Team Losers with 11. Team Girl Power and Lightning Squad are tied for last with 5 points each. It's still anyone's game! Let's see how Team Losers finishes things up!"

Owen got up on stage with a 2-liter soda bottle. He unscrewed the cap and began to chug the whole thing without break. As if that weren't enough, he managed to burp out the entire alphabet in one go.

"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZzz zzzzzzz!" He belched loudly.

Chef gave that performance an 8.

"Nice going, Owen! With a score like that, Team Losers is guaranteed invincibility for the night!" Chris announced.

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"Is my team really so much of a failure that we fail when we try to lose?" Noah asked rhetorically.

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Cody and Sierra were up on stage now. Sierra had turned on LeShawna's boom box, but it played a different track this time. Sierra started singing loudly with the track, while Cody just mouthed the words nervously.

"Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now"

Chef gave the performance a 6.

"And with that, Team Cody is also guaranteed Invincibility for the night!" Chris announced. "Team Girl Power, you're up."

Dakota got up on stage with her sunglasses and a bathrobe on. The spotlights focused on her, and she took off her bathrobe, revealing a rather immodest two-piece swimsuit. She started doing some modeling poses until she took off her sunglasses, shook her hair around, and winked to the audience.

Chef gave it a 10.

"All right, Dakota!" Chris clapped. "Lightning Squad is going to need a 10 of their own if they want a shot at winning!"

Brick walked up on stage with a briefcase. "I'd like to request a volunteer from the audience,
he said. No one volunteered. "Great. Chef, why don't you come up?"

"Ugghh…" Chef rolled his eyes as he got up on stage.

"Alright, after some work, I think I've done it." Brick said. "I have come up with the perfect outfit for Mr. Hatchet here."

"Seriously?" LeShawna asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Brick replied. "I have with me a royal yellow polo shirt, a pair of cornsilk white khaki pants, authentic suede dress shoes, and a nice toupee."

"You jokin' with me, boy?" Chef asked.

"No, sir!" Brick replied.

"And what makes you think I need a toupee?" Chef got threateningly close to Brick.

"With all due respect, sir, the ensemble wouldn't work without a full head of hair." Brick gulped.

Chef took out a remote control from his pocket and pushed a button, giving Brick a 3.

"And with that, Team Girl Power wins Invincibility for the night!" Chris announced. "Meaning that Lightning Squad is going to have to face elimination tonight."

-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-

"snivel… Chef clearly knows nothing about fashion…" Brick whimpered.

-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-

Flash Forward to the dinnertime. Warp to Lightning Squad's table.

"I have a confession to make." Geoff announced to his team. "I found our Invincibility Statue. The one that B flushed."

"Sha-GROSS, man!" Lightning winced. "What were you doing in the toilet?"

"Long story. Anyway, I gave it to Dakota last night."

"Wait… you mean I'm being awoken early by arguments over something that you could have cleared up?" Jo asked.

"I guess, I mean… I don't know. What was I supposed to do? She's my friend, and she was going to get voted out! You would have done the same!"

"I'm a take-no-prisoners gal!" Jo slammed her fist on the table. "I say let her go right now!"

"What's your problem, dudette?" Geoff asked calmly.

"My problem is that you're withholding information from us!" Jo responded angrily. "Who knows what else he may be hiding from us?"

Warp to the bonfire. Geoff, B, Jo, Brick, and Lightning all sat on a tree stump by the fire, each with a stick in hand. Chris stood beside the fire, holding a platter with four marshmallows on it.

"Lightning Squad, welcome to the Bonfire Ceremony." Chris said. "I have four marshmallows with me. If you receive a marshmallow, then you are safe, and will live another day on Camp Wawanakwa. But if you don't receive a marshmallow, then you must ride the Hurl of Shame all the way to Playa Des Losers. Got that?"

Jo glared at Geoff.

"The first marshmallow goes to B." Chris announced.

B smiled as he got up to claim a marshmallow.

"Lightning!"

"Sha-YEAH!" Lightning ran up to get a marshmallow.

"Jo."

"Yeah!" Jo got her marshmallow.

Geoff and Brick both anxiously waited for Chris to give the final marshmallow.

"The final marshmallow goes to…"

"…Geoff." Chris finally said.

"Yes! Whoo!" Geoff cheered. "Oh, sorry, dude." Geoff told Brick.

"That's alright, soldier." Brick said. "I failed our team when it needed help the most. That's why I voted myself off the island."

"What?" Jo asked. "Brick! What's your problem?"

"I'm going AWOL, ma'am." Brick replied as he marched to the Hurl of Shame.

"Any last words, dude?" Chris asked.

"No, sir. I've said what needs to be saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiii…"

Chris launched Brick from the catapult. "And with that, the Lightning Squad's winning streak is over. Sleep well, kiddies! You'll need it. Hehehe."