Chapter 4
"You have to what?' said Sam scandalised.
"I'm not doing that." refused Dean.
"Its simple," said Judas "you just put your, you know, in the hole."
"No."
"Why? Of all things –that-." Sam said disgusted.
"It's a type of DNA test, to assure that only angels can get in."
"That's messed up." Said Dean.
"We can't do it anyway." Said Sam motioning to the fake wings, Dean's glittery green to match his eyes, and his deep red because they were the most bootilicious.
"Of course." Said Cas stepping up.
"No sir, no way." Said Dean stopping him.
"I've done it before Dean, it is no problem."
"How many times before?"
"5"
"5 times? Are you kidding me? You could get diseases, look how filthy the gate is."
"It's perfectly sanitary."
"My ass."
"Dean, be reasonable."
"I am being reasonable, and over my ass, you're not doing it."
"I don't see the big deal." Said Judas to Sam "All it is-" He was cut off by Deans loud shout of disapproval.
"Oh for fathers sake." Said Judas "Will you whining brats shut it already, I've spent far too long of my days listening to you argue. Let me put it plain and simple so you brutes can understand. The only way forward is through the gates. The only one who can get the gates to open is Castiel. This is the only way whether you pathetic whining bastard like it or not."
Dean ground his teeth in frustration, than sprinkled the enamel flakes on his cereal Castiel had created for him at request. He chewed on the nasty flakes gruffly, like a man, then spat it in Judas's face.
"No."
"Dean." Said Sam, shooting an angel puppy, and wearing its face as his. Ultimate puppy eyes look!
"Alright." He said relenting, it was too hard to be stubborn in light of that horrific act "but I still think it disgusting."
Castiel stood back, "uh, could you not watch." He said blushing.
Dean rolled his eyes, and pushed Judas to turn his back. Sam immediately turning, because ewwwwwwwww, his brothers boyfriend, there were some things you couldn't scrub clean in this life, and this was one of them.
Cas searched deep and worked up a good moist glob of substance, aiming at the desired spot he let go, and a big wad of spit hit the desired spot, he wiped his mouth and the metallic silver gates opened.
Everyone turned around at the wet noise of spit hitting the deep dark spot of metal. What was revealed before them was a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, winding wonky crooked old path made entirely of stairs. At the top was a cracked old temple made from dried cow dung.
Cas shed a tear, "isn't it beautiful?"
"It's truly something." Said Sam. "And all it took was an angel spitting on its gates to see."
"It's a pile of cow shit! And my boyfriend spat on a gate. I mean my angel, my lover, oh shit, my fuckbuddy, my friend?"
"Dean!"
"but it's a beautiful pile of cow shit I'm sure."
"Thankyou Dean, that means a lot." Said Castiel wiping a tear from his eye "and bitch I'm your husband. Don't you forget it. As Beyoncé said, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it, and marry that ass I did."
"I was the best man at the wedding." Piped in Sam.
"Who cares." Said Judas "Lets rescue MY boyfriend."
Going in pairs of two, Dean and Cas, and Judas and Sam climbed the stairs.
