Well, this one will be probably be pushing the T rating a little bit. Whatever. I don't write smut, so it probably won't get that bad.
3. "What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Percy to deflower Nico?"
Eros appeared before Milky. She gasped. "To what pleasure do I owe this visit?"
"Milky O. Awesomeway, you have failed to give me Pico last chapter."
"I'm sorry sir, but Percabeth is a very hard couple to break up without screwing up canon immensely."
"That is no excuse." Eros replied. "You're a pathetic excuse for a Hunter. Not even able to break up heterosexual couples. Hah! Artemis must be disappointed in you."
"Um… Artemis doesn't teach us how to break up couples."
"She should." Eros said. "It'll give her more Hunters." He looked at Milky in distaste. "Never mind. It doesn't matter, but I do need my Pico fix as much as you do."
"Uh… sir. Pico sounds funny. It kind of makes me want to laugh. Can we call them Percico instead? It sounds more serious."
"How about Nercy?"
"Do people even call them that?"
"This is the Peeniss thing all over again." Eros said in frustration. "You didn't agree with me then either. You Hunters have no taste in pairing names."
"Well, Katniss is sort of a hunter so I should know what her tastes are. I'm very certain that she wouldn't be all happy to learn that her and Peeta's official pairing name is Peeniss. Couldn't you have called them Keeta?"
"Did Dionysus set you up to that?" Eros sighed. "He will never learn that I am better at pairing names than he is."
"If you say so." Milky answered, a bit disturbed. "What do you suggest I do?"
"You're the Author. You think of something."
"Like I said, I cannot break up Percabeth. It's near impossible without causing the story to be all sorts of crack. The only way I could do that is break down the fourth wall and unleash my Author powers on them, but the problem is I don't want them knowing I'm an Author. I must remain just a normal daughter of Apollo."
"Did you know you get your writing genes from your father?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your father sucks at his domains. Especially art, music, poetry and writing…"
"Are you insinuating that I can't write?"
"Oh, Milky." Eros shook his head. "I mean no offense to you, but you are a fanfiction writer, and all fanfiction writers suck."
"They do not!" Milky was livid. "I mean, a few do, but I speak on the behalf of fanfiction writers that the vast majority of us are some of the most talented writers out there. You are just a pathetic pairing-obsessed freak male."
"You take that back before I—"
"You do not insult my readers, or any fanfiction writer again, understood."
"Even the males?"
"Even the males. They write amazing stories as well. Maybe if you would just read—"
"I will not read fanfiction. And—wait? You still have readers? Even after writing the atrocities that are your past stories?"
"You have no taste in literature."
"You're a daughter of Apollo, the worst poet and singer of all time. Like you know about literature."
"If this is about my half-siblings Tara and Thomas I had nothing to do with—"
"Thomas insulted your lady and called her a whore."
Milky shrugged. "It doesn't matter. This is hardly the time. I'm not here to do Prayer Warriors commentary. I'm here to discuss Percico."
"What about your other half-sister? Justine Beaver, was it?"
"While I personally think Justine's music still sucks, Justin's voice is lower now, so you can stop calling him that. I may have a few siblings who unfortunately inherited my father's genes, but that doesn't make me like them. Back to the original topic at hand, I cannot afford to break the fourth wall anymore. It's bad enough that Piper and Jason remember the Jasper-Jiper altercation."
"It shouldn't be this hard to get Percico together. Nico already has those feelings… and come on! Annabeth's fatal flaw is pride out of all things. Besides, they're the children of Greek Gods. We're all bisexual! Demigods should be too!"
"You're Eros. You're Cupid. Maybe it's easy for you, but it is not easy for me! You can just shoot Annabeth with a black arrow and make Percy fall in love with Nico, and boom! Percico. I have to keep people in character and come up with a reasonable ending to Percabeth. And the Percabeth fangirls will all flame me too. It's too hard." Milky burst into milk-filled tears.
"Maybe you are just like Tara…"
"Am not. She cries bloody tears!"
Apollo materialized next to them. "There, there, daughter. Tell me all about it."
"Eros thinks I can't write."
"Eros! How dare you tell Milky her writing is terrible. She is my daughter. She is awesome at everything."
Eros rolled his eyes. "She can't do a little task I ask of her. Despicable!"
"Milky." Apollo said comfortingly. "Your writing does not suck. I mean, you wrote a Pertemis story behind Artemis's back. That was the coolest thing ever!"
"It was pretty awesome, wasn't it?" Milky wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Artemis is still trying to figure out who used her Wi-Fi to do it. She blamed Hyaline at first. After all, she was a perfect candidate due to the Artemis Fowl incident, and her mother is Khione so she had a motive."
Apollo continued, "and Mad You Came was brilliant. It's so catchy."
"It was, wasn't it?" Milky smiled while reminiscing on her past achievements.
"And don't get me started on having the Pallas Athene give birth to a half-vampire child. That was clever. It was definitely refreshing to have something for me and Hermes to tease her about. We were running out of good Percabeth jokes. "
"You're right, Father. I am awesome! Not as much as you, of course." Milky stood up straighter. "And I have the perfect idea."
"Atta girl." Both men said at the same time.
Milky used her Author powers to insert herself in front of the Hades cabin. No one noticed, thankfully. She straightened out her silver jacket before knocking on Nico's door. The Italian opened up. "Hello, Milky."
Milky sensed something was off. "What's wrong, Nico. You're usually happy to see me."
"I'm don't want to see anyone."
"You never want to see anyone, Nico. But you're glummer than usual, and that says something."
Nico glared at her before checking to see if the coast was clear. He led her into his cabin. He sat down on his bed. "I think Annabeth has put two and two together. I can't stay here with her and him."
"Nico di Angelo!" Milky screamed. "You cannot keep running from facing your fears. You already faced them once on page 292—I mean when you were confronting Cupid, and when I first met you all those years ago. I guessed it almost immediately." She cursed herself in her head. She slipped up! How could she be so stupid?
"I don't want to think about that day. It's the day when Bianca joined the Hunters."
Milky sighed. "I know, but Nico. Jason and I both know, and we accept you. Everyone else will too. I promise."
"Brian didn't."
Milky froze. Nico was not supposed to remember her half-brother. Damn, she did have a lot of useless siblings. Eros was right.
"Who's Brian?" Milky asked, feigning ignorance.
"I… don't know." Nico answered. "Weird."
Milky left the room. Stage 1: Complete. She crossed her fingers, hoping what she had planned worked.
She knocked on the door to the Athena cabin. Annabeth was the one to open the door. "I must talk to you. It's urgent."
"Why. What's going on?" Annabeth's eyes scanned Milky, intimidating the younger girl. It would be so hard to lie to Annabeth, Milky realized. But she had no choice. It was the only thing she could think of at such short notice. She really couldn't keep anyone waiting. The gods were furious, and Meme Number 5 was Christmassy. She needed to finish three more memes before Christmas so she could do the Christmassy one on time. Huh, she thought. According to spellcheck Christmassy is a word. She looked it up, forgetting that she was talking to Annabeth.
"Um… Earth to Milky?"
"Oh… hey Annabeth. It's about Percy."
"What about Percy?"
"How he is only with you because he couldn't have Luke, and neither could you."
"That is not true."
"Then why was he so jealous of you?"
"He was not! He was jealous of Luke because I still trusted him even after he became evil, but Percy was always good and I seemed to overlook him. Percy is not gay! Now leave before I stab you."
"You seem to know Percy's thoughts very well." Milky replied. "And you seem about as sure as you were when you thought Nico had a crush on you."
"But… he does. I even asked Piper. Daughters of Aphrodite know everything when it comes to love."
"Piper's about as much of an Aphrodite kid as you are Demeter's. She doesn't even act like a proper daughter of Aphrodite. If I wanted to know who liked who in this camp I would ask Destiny. She is one of the least biased and most talented Aphrodite kids when it comes to couples."
"She's fourteen and won't do anything because it will ruin her nails. Piper, on the other hand, is sixteen and can fight. "
"There you Athena kids go again, only asking for advice from people who are logical or rational. Think about it. You went to Piper because she's a daughter of Aphrodite, right? And you chose her over her half-siblings because she's level-headed, right?"
"Yes?"
"But the reason you went to her was because of her mother's domain is love, not because you thought Piper was an expert in love. Now, think about it. Wouldn't it make more sense to go to a child of Aphrodite that acts like Aphrodite if you wanted accurate results? Piper doesn't act like her mother, which makes me wonder just how good at love stuff she actually is."
"I guess you have a point, but why Destiny?"
"Destiny won't lie to you to suck up or be biased in her results, unlike Tiffany, Madison, Kaylyn, and Drew. "
Maybe Milky lied to Annabeth. Destiny would lie to her, but only for the greater good. It saves Milky's ass and Percico happens. What joy! Destiny was cool, and Milky liked her style of thinking when it came to couples, but maybe Milky could bribe her to see her way this time.
Nico didn't like Annabeth, so unless Destiny was like everybody else, she wouldn't have to do something there, but she need to convince the other girl to go along with the Percy-is-in-the-closet thing, and then Milky could inform Eros that she was ready to start mission Get-Percy-to-fall-for-Nico, otherwise known as Step 4 in the Percico Plan.
She approached Destiny cautiously.
"What do you want, Hunter." Madison, another Aphrodite kid sneered.
"What I want is to remember to make Male Aphrodite Kid OC's, but that will never happen."
"What?"
"All of my stories only have daughters of Aphrodite. I need a just one son."
Madison and Destiny looked confused. It took a few seconds for Milky to realize what she said. "Nothing. It's not important. Destiny I need to talk to you."
Milky imagined a brown-haired blue-eyed fifteen year old kid in her head. The same person walked out of the Aphrodite cabin. Much better, Milky thought to herself.
"Why am I the only male Aphrodite kid who isn't in the books?" The boy whispered to her. She hadn't yet erased his memory, having just created him.
"Because I didn't realize the problem until now? Anyway, the closest I've ever come to having a male Aphrodite kid is having Nico name off all the boys with shaggy black hair and one of them was a child of Aphrodite named Garrett, who never actually made an appearance in the story." She responded. "Now keep your mouth shut about the books or I'll erase your memory before the end of this chapter. What's your name?"
"Peter Nolan."
"Age?"
"Fifteen."
"In a relationship?"
"Yes. She's a daughter of Demeter. Why are you asking these questions?"
"For your character profile. Duh."
She looked at Peter and Madison. "Can you two leave me and Destiny alone? Thank you!"
"Okay, listen. Annabeth will be over here any minute to ask about who Nico's crush is. Do not tell her this, just let her know that it is not her. She may also ask if Percy had a crush on Luke. I will pay you thirty drachmas and twenty American dollars for you to say yes."
"I'll do both those things for free. You see, Milky. Funny story—"
"Just take the money!"
"Okay." She complied.
The next morning Milky woke up hearing screaming and pleading. She ran to her cabin's window and gasped. Annabeth was chasing her boyfriend around with a sword in her hand. She ran outside.
"Hey Milky!" Percy waved, still running away from a furious Annabeth. "If it wasn't for the fact Annabeth is trying to kill me, I would thank you for forcing me to admit that I was the one who loved Luke."
"Now that I am not afraid anymore, there's one thing I've always wanted to do…"
Annabeth yelled. "Shut up and stand still so I can kill you. I am no one's beard! Especially when I didn't even know that I was their fake girlfriend. I will not be made a fool."
"Just look at that hubris… So revolting." Milky said, before realizing something. "Wait, Percy is gay? Hold on a second…"
Percy spoke up. "By the way, could you tell Nico to come to my cabin later? I have some things to take care of."
Milky shivered. Hunters did not want to hear about that. Once she was done trying to get that scarring image out of her head, she turned around at banged her head on the Artemis cabin walls. If she had known it was that easy to break up Percabeth, she would have put it in last chapter like she was supposed to.
1. Should I tone down the references a bit, both to my stories and well-known things?
2. If done well, a Percabeth break-up can be very plausible. Unfortunately, unless you are very talented, you usually you need more than one chapter for that. I am not that good with keeping personalities in check.
3. This is such a long chapter… and most of it is filler and ramblings. I also think it's hard to follow
4. This chapter sucks… this chapter sucks… this chapter sucks….
5. Milky needs to learn how not to break down the fourth wall, doesn't she?
6. YAY! I finally have a male Aphrodite kid.
7. Eros will never learn my pairing names are better than his
8. For a Hunter, Milky sure is obsessed with couples. Weird…
