Chapter 4:

Cristina was having dinner with Meredith in Alex's kitchen. She has been feeling quite low lately and she needed some company to keep her distracted from Owen.

'So you have hooked Owen up with a fairly pretty blonde, I see. What do you plan for yourself Cristina?" Meredith finally asked her.

"What do you mean? what about me?" Cristina asked Meredith in a serious tone.

"You should also move on now Cristina, you also deserve to be happy".

"I am fine the way I am Meredith".

"Cristina you seriously don't mean that, do you? I mean come on how long are you going to stay this?"

"Like what? What is wrong with me?".

"Seriously, you are planning to spend the rest of your life like this, alone. Cristina that's not right and you know it".

"I am fine Mer, I am fine".

"No you are not and like this you never will be Cristina. You need someone who can take care of you. You need to move..." Meredith couldn't complete what she wanted to say when Cristina screamed her...

"Stop it Meredith, just stop it. I can't do it Meredith, I can't ever move on from Owen. I just can't". Cristina was crying now.

"I tried that once remember. I was sleeping with Dr. Parker, but not for once could I stop myself from missing Owen, from loving him. We were living miles apart, we were broken up but it always felt like I was cheating on him. I was disgusted by myself, everyday, I still am. I hate myself for doing that, I have not forgiven me till today. I can't do that again". Cristina paused for a moment and said

" Owen is the love of my life, my soul mate Meredith and I can live my entire life with just his memories".

"Meredith you know even the thought of another man scares me, another man touching me, even this thought kills me. I can't do it Meredith".

"But Cristina you have your entire life ahead of you, how are you going to.."

"You don't have to worry about me Meredith, I will be fine".

Cristina wiped of her tears and smiled.

"You know what I bought all these amazing cook books. I am going to learn to cook. Focus my sexual energy on cooking. What do you think?"

"I think you are the biggest fool I have ever met". Meredith laughed and hugged Cristina.

"I am always here for you Cristina. Ok".

"I know that, you don't have to remind me".