Guys - sorry for the wait, I got addicted to True Blood (Godric/Eric) ... it was intense. I had to fast-forward a LOT of smex.
Also, I'm getting back into writing The Little Vampire. I've missed it. And my new laptop is awesome! ... Except I still need both of them ... I'm feeling guilty about wasting so much power.
I got two reviews for this one - thanks ColdSilver and Masih!
"Jacob Black! Why the - how the hell did you call me!" Edward demanded. Like hell he needed some childish grease-covered little boy ringing straight after his least favourite (and only) in-law!
"Umm … I called the number …?"
"How do you know it!"
"It's on your business card!"
"I have a business card?"
"… Wait - what the hell do I have then?"
"What-? Never mind. What do you want?"
"Well, you, bent over the table-"
"I'm hanging up-"
"No wait! I have one quick, leetle question …."
"What?"
"Which office number is yours? Because I'm here, and I'm looking …."
Edward felt his eye twitch. And he especially didn't like how cheerful Jacob sounded right now. Edward was as far from cheerful as possible at the moment. Therefore no-one else could be happy either.
"How did you get in here!"
"Bella buzzed me in!"
"Then go bug her."
"Tried that. She's off being all smart and shit. … So where are you right now? Wanna go out for lunch?"
"No, I don't! … Mostly because it's mid-morning, dumbass."
"Rather be a dumbass then a smartass. Brunch then? I feel like bacon-"
"No."
"Door 648?"
"Excuse me?"
"Your office."
Edward then looked up from glaring at his desk … and sure enough, a large shadow was outlined against the white-glass.
"N-no! No! Definitely not! Never-"
"Yes! Got it right!"
The dial tone sounded in Edward's ear, just as Edward heard a knocking at the door. Edward gritted his teeth, and marched over to the door.
Bracing himself for the stupid and annoying and pointless antics of one Jacob Black, he threw open the door and glared.
"What!" He yelled, and the new hired help blinked owlishly at him.
"… Um, sign?" He asked meekly, holding out a clipboard and a pen. Edward looked at him for a moment longer, then glanced to either side of his door. Empty.
With no expression on his face, Edward signs the papers, hands the items back, and closes the door of the slowly-edging-away help.
"… I have just humiliated myself." Edward mutters, and runs a hand through his hair with a sigh, body slumping. Maybe Jacob had burst in on the wrong room, after all-
The door bangs open. "I'm back! I brought coffee! Welcome, baby!" Edward turned slowly - Jacob Black, grinning triumphantly and holding a cardboard four-place tray with two foam cups on it. Edward turns back around, hoping to God that if he did the man would go away.
No dice. Without politely waiting at the door, Jacob waltzes in and places one of the tray on Edward's desk. Then he begins poking around.
"Oh hey! Cute stationary for a cute guy!" Jacob then picks out different items as he speaks, fiddling with them, before putting them back, and Edward's hands twitch to strangle the man.
"Don't go rummaging in others people's things! Who raised you!" Edward snaps, but he knows the answer before Jacob speaks.
"Sam." He says, then grins. Edward doesn't feel like being reminded of the grouchy vet who was also Jacob's childhood big-brother figure/weekend baby-sitter. I swear my world wasn't this small until Jacob shoved his way into it. Edward grumbled to himself in his head as he straightens up his now unacceptably ruffled desk." And Sam says I'm supposed to say to you that you owe him-"
"I know how many favours I owe him." Edward snaps, and points to the door. "Out." He growls, glaring at Jacob's fake pout.
"But I don't wanna! I wanna have a looksie! Bella never let me in her office! She says I'll break things - which is bullshit - hey, are all those awards real?" Then Jacob begins plucking Edward's framed - thanks to his sister - credentials from the wall, and squinting. Edward then realises Jacob was here to stay - mostly because the only way he'd be able to remove Jacob was physically - which was impossible because Edward was painfully aware of how larger the younger man was. "Man - you're signature's all fancy and shit." Jacob sniggers, and Edward flushes in spite himself.
"Well you didn't have to look!" Edward shot back, taking the frames and hanging them up again. Jacob shrugs though, unperturbed, and wonders over to his bookshelf. Edward almost feels his knees give out at the very thought of Jacob messing up his alphabetized bookshelf."Don't you dare-" He begins, but Jacob just scoffs.
"Okay, Mister 'it's-only-mild-OCD' you're lucky you have a nice ass. I won't touch the-" Jacob then freezes, and casts an almost desperate glance at Edward, then back to the shelf, then Edward again.
Finally, an exasperated Edward bites. "What, Mr. 'it's-only-mild-ADHD'? By the way, stop talking about my ass."
"You have The Jungle Book. I love that book." He says, then he reaches to touch it, before hovering a few inches, silently staring. Edward decides the only course of action to save his precious books from Jacob's destructive hands, was his favourite one - an abrupt change of subject.
"What kind of coffee did you bring?" He asks, looking at his table. Jacob, predictably, bounces over to him and, very proudly, declares that he chose Edward's ' favourite'. "And how do you know that?" He asks, sceptical as he takes the coffee Jacob slides over to him, while Jacob takes his own and uncaps the lid.
"Bells told me, baby!" Jacob chirps, and Edward looks at him, cautiously sips, and blinks in surprise. It was his favourite.
"How does she know, exactly?" Edward asks, both grateful for the coffee, and slightly off-put by Jacob's peppy and careless information. How enamoured was Bella? Was he the only one that found that creepy? Jacob, though, blinks, and looks confused.
"You didn't tell her at all …?" He asks back. Edward shakes his head, and takes a larger mouthful. "… Oh. Don't care." Jacob says shamelessly, then tips his cups to his mouth, and Edward almost spits when the contents rattles.
"What the heck are you drinking?" Edward demands, almost panicked. Jacob tips the cup silently towards Edward … revealing mini M&M's. Edward also notices Jacob was chewing. "Why …?" Edward breathes, and Jacob gives him a definitely blue hued grin.
"I'm not allowed coffee." He explains, but Edward nods. That made perfect sense. "Hey! Why are all your books - 'sides the cool ones - all boring or fuck-old?" Jacob asks suddenly, and Edward scowls at the blunt mechanic's jab at his taste in literature.
Edward instantly feels the need to defend himself. "They all happen to be very famous and interesting."
"But they're, like, the books you read at school," Jacob wrinkles his nose, though he gives a bright smile, "like the kind I'd wiki the night before the paper was due on 'em and still pass." He boasts, and Edward is less than impressed with the man's proud skill in 'winging it'.
"Well, they were the kind I read at school too, which I happened to write very good-graded essay's on days in advance," Edward ignores Jacob's snort, quite proud of his academics, that he worked very hard for, "and they're still very good books."
"Why don't you have Harry Potter then?" Jacob cuts in, and Edward's scowl only deepens.
"Because I don't like it." He said, and raised his eyebrows as Jacob gives a gasp.
"B-but it's famous!" He protests, and Edward scoffs.
"Feel-good coming-of-age books are a dime a dozen, and none of them are as long-winded or unreal as that." Edward snorts, and Jacob scowls.
"Fantasy's awesome. Besides - apart from the wizards, it's not unreal!" Jacob argues, which makes Edward rolls his eyes. "What?"
"You really think the protagonist went his whole high-school life without once sleeping with a girl? Or at least masturbating at school? No homosexual thoughts while bunking with males for most of the year? Or wondering about the girl's underwear?" Edward asks, and Jacob blinks.
"… You have a point." Jacob says, and Edward smirks, finally victorious. "So are you saying you're life is unreal too?" Jacob questions suddenly, and Edward's face falls.
"What?" He snaps, while Jacob suddenly grins, chewing on a mouthful of M&Ms.
"Betcha you were as 'geeky-little-asexual-virgin' as they come as in high-school." Jacob says, and laughs in Edward's face as he blushes bright red.
"Shut up!" He snaps, "You don't have to just go and asoo every little thing!" He bursts out, and Jacob's laughing fades off as he puts his M&M-filled coffee cup on the desk.
"What's asoo mean?" He asks, looking confused. But Edward was now severely pissed.
"I mean! No one asked you to come and take up my valuable work hours with your childish nonsense! And just to insult me and annoy me!" He adds heatedly, and downs his coffee at such a violent pace that Jacob actually looks pained. He slams the empty cup straight into the bin, and walks over to his desk, sitting down and pulling out his laptop. He felt extremely self-righteous at the moment, and he didn't even care if Jacob was going to mess with his books. Though he was going to put away the Jungle Book after the man left.
"… Eddie?" Edward ignores Jacob's tentative voice, and opens his research folder. He had work to do. "C'mon … 'm sorry …." Jacob's voice is quiet as he speaks, but fail to pull at Edward's stone-hard heartstrings. "Hey … I said sorry!" The man says, sounding angry, before he straightens up, and Edward could see the man's good posture from the corner of his eye. "Look - if you really didn't want me here, you wouldn't have talked to me on the phone, you would have actually hung up, or you could have called security on me." Jacob says, his voice getting louder.
Edward, though, strives to ignore the, now that he thought about it, rather true words.
"Hell, you could have thrown the coffee at me! But you didn't!" Jacob continues, waving his hands slightly. "I just thought you were feeling bad! So I came to cheer you up! But I'm sorry if you want to stay grumpy and mean forever!" Jacob yells, slamming his hands down on the table."So screw it. I … I didn't mean to bother you." Jacob says through gritted teeth, and turns, sweeping his cup off the table as he does. There was a slight hiss as the chocolate scattered from Jacob's coffee cup as it fell to the ground. Edward didn't dare respond, as there was something stuck in his throat, as Jacob stepped away from the table, and looked down.
"… Oops." He says, not a trace of his anger from before in his voice, and Edward looks up as Jacob sits cross-legged on the floor, righting the cup and scooping its contents back in. "That was my bad …." He mutters, concentrating on cleaning. Edward was slightly off-put at how … un-angry Jacob suddenly seemed, he didn't look frustrated by the cup, but looked slightly … depressed.
Edward glances back at his computer screen, and the game of solitaire on it, before closing the lid and leaning a cheek on his hand as Jacob finishes picking all the M&Ms up, and, pouting and reluctant, slowly puts the cup in the bin.
After a few seconds of silence, Jacob look up at Edward, who sighs.
"… Do you want a tour?" He asks, and frowns ever-so-slightly at Jacob's bright smile.
"Yes, please!"
I have the strong feeling this chapter was a little random, but in my mind's defence, it's still a bit jumbled on where the plot is heading ... that and I'm lazy.
A pose a question to you - in the reviews, why did no one suggest that Jacob was on the other end? Who else could it be?
