The Great Wide Somewhere
Chapter Four
Belle was so thankful when the sun dipped below the horizon and it was time to retire for the night. The journey on the train had left her weary and the ride on the buckboard made her sore. And as if that wasn't enough, her emotions were frayed from Jacob's sullenness and Bae's cheerfulness. If it wasn't for their eyes and mannerisms, Belle wouldn't have believed they were father and son.
She stared at the dark beams above her head as she replayed the days events. Jacob and Bae had showed her around the farm, Jacob leading the way while Bae chattered nonstop. The barn sat about fifty yards from the house and had a couple horses, milk cows and a few pigs. Chickens roamed free between the barn and the house though the hen house was nestled against the barn. There was a smoke house behind the main house that was stocked with cured pork, bacon and some beef.
Dinner was an uncomfortable affair though. The stew was good and Belle tried to poke at the vegetables to see which ones were used for when she would have make it. But no matter how hard she tried to start a conversation with Jacob, his responses were limited to one word replies. Bae seemed to follow his father's lead and took more interest in his food, though he at least smiled at her from time to time.
But when she finally closed the door to her room and climbed into bed, no matter how hard she tried to fall asleep, it just wouldn't happen. The bed, comfortable enough, wasn't hers. The house settled differently around her and there were no waves crashing outside her window, letting her know the sea was always there for comfort.
The moon rose and moved its way over the wheat fields. By the time it reached its zenith, she could clearly hear Bae's snores coming from the second floor. She tried to listen for any sounds coming from Jacob's room but couldn't distinguish any. Perhaps he was just as unsettled as she was.
Deciding sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon, Belle got up and put on her dressing gown over the cotton shift nightgown. She opened her trunk and retrieved a couple of books she brought with her. When Jacob had agreed to allow her to come, she had started spending more time in the kitchen with the cook. She had learned the basic skills, such as how to maintain the heat for cooking and baking and how to keep embers burning through the night so the stove wouldn't be cold come morning.
Once she had learned the mechanics of the stove, she learned how to fix coffee, make a soup stock, bake bread and other simple meals. There was no place for her to learn how to farm but she was determined to come with some skills, such as cooking and cleaning.
Her father's household had thought she had lost her mind when she drug a copper tub outdoors and began laundering her own clothes. She had experimented on old rags first and worked her way up to her Sunday dress. Even the maids had been impressed at her skill. But doing those things back home were different than trying them here. If she ruined a dress in Maine, she could easily replace it. She didn't have the luxury here.
There were many luxuries she didn't have here, but that was what made it an adventure. When she stepped out of her room, she found a gas lantern sitting on the kitchen table with a box of matches next to it. She set her books down and lit the lantern, wondering if it was Bae or Jacob who left it out for her. Bae was the most likely candidate but the thought of Jacob doing it warmed her heart. Perhaps he wasn't as cold hearted as he made himself out to be.
But Jacob was a hard one to read, something Belle usually didn't struggle with doing. He had been polite, quiet and had agreed to her two month visit. But he was distant, shy in a withdrawn sense and she wondered just how thick the walls were that he hid behind. He let them down for Bae, she had caught a couple of brief smiles between his worried and concerned glances. He loved his son, and his son loved him so he was capable of letting people in. She just had to find her own way around his defenses.
And what better way than through food. She opened the books and started searching through the recipes. There were notes and comments made by both the cook back home and herself. She tried to fight down the uneasiness of having to cook on an unfamiliar stove with no guidance. But she could do this, she was certain, and she would start easy. Turning to the front page, she pulled out the instructions on how to make coffee. The sun would be up by the time she found everything and figured out how to brew it but at least she would be starting her new life here on the proper foot.
And if she burnt the first batch, she could toss it out and start fresh without anyone knowing.
Gold couldn't sleep. His thoughts were constantly at odds with each other from one moment to the next.
What could he do to make sure Belle would be back on the train in two months?
What could he do to make sure she would stay with them?
He tried to think of ways to make her feel unwelcome, but realized he didn't have it in him to drive her off with cruelty. But perhaps, he could scare her with the work load. There was so much that needed to be done around the farm that a day of mending fences, plowing a field and caring for the animals might be enough to send her packing. But the thought of her being too stiff to move and in pain the following days or possibly even hurting herself quickly dissolved that plan.
Her eyes had lit up at the all the animals which made him wonder if she would have the heart to kill a chicken to feed them. Would she throw herself in front of a pig or cow that was going to be butchered? But then she would be upset, crying even if she was that tenderhearted. He remembered Bae having to learn that harsh lesson when he was a young boy and tears that had been shed, ripping at his heart. He didn't think he could handle seeing Belle's blue eyes red with grief either.
Sleep would not be coming to him that night, he realized, so he tossed the blankets off and sat on the side of the bed, gazing out the window for a few quiet moments. Dawn was just starting to lighten the horizon, not properly breaking yet. The farm was quiet except for Bae's snoring and some movement downstairs. Apparently Belle was having trouble sleeping as well.
As he pulled on his shirt, he realized there was nothing he could do to drive Belle away or convince her to stay. The decision was to be hers at the end of the two months. Once again, he was too cowardly to act on a plan that would force her to go or stay. A bitter taste rose in his mouth. It was his farm, his family and it was up to a stranger to determine what their lives were going to be at the end of this trial period.
Gold paused by Bae's bedroom. If the boy's own mother couldn't find it in her heart to stay with them, then what in the world would convince Belle to do it? It certainly wouldn't be him. Gold figured she was only half his age, which wasn't unheard of in the midwest with the homesteaders, but he was also well on his way to being a cripple. Doc Whale had told him he should be walking with a stick while out in the fields and that plowing was becoming more and more of a risk each time he did it. One more good twist to his bad knee and there would be no healing it completely.
When he came downstairs, Belle was in the kitchen, dressed in a much simpler outfit then her traveling attire and pinning up her hair as she watched the coffee pot with such intensity. The more he looked upon her, the more beautiful she became. Milly didn't want the future that he was destined to have and he couldn't really blame her. Once Belle saw the kind of life she would have to endure, she would leave as well. He would just have to make sure that Bae would be happy with whatever happened.
So, perhaps the problem wasn't with convincing Belle to go or stay but to make sure Bae didn't become attached to her, which was easier said than done. But he could do it, he could keep them separate for two months so no attachments formed. He would explain things to Bae when it was just the two of them working. His son's happiness was the utmost importance and he would see to it that Belle would do nothing to tarnish that joy.
Gold cleared his throat but it still startled Belle, who almost dropped her book. She recovered quickly enough.
"Do you normally get up this early?" she asked, putting the final pin in her hair.
Gold shook his head. "Not quite this early. We usually get up with the sun. Winter time is different though since it's dark longer." He sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed his knee. It was always stiff in the morning chill. "Do you normally rise this early?"
She gave him a dimpled smile that he tried not to return. "I'm used to rising at all hours, really. My schedule was set by my father's ships. Dependent on the weather, some would arrive at seven in the morning, some as early as three."
"And what was the purpose to be at the docks at three in the morning?"
"I took inventory for my Papa. My mother used to do it for him but when she died, I took her place. As soon as I could read the inventory lists, that is." She set down a cup in front of him and poured the coffee into it. "This is my first time making coffee without any guidance so consider yourself warned."
It couldn't be any worse than the concoction that he and Bae had whipped up. And Milly's heart was never in her cooking. She would draw or day dream the time away and everything was scorched or had some ingredient left out of it. He took a tentative sip and had to keep a neutral look on his face. It was the best cup of coffee he had ever tasted.
"Well?" Belle asked, still holding the coffee pot, a worried look on her face.
Gold tried to shrug it off, tell her it was just okay but her expression wrung the truth out of him. "Best I've had in years."
The smile she gave him was radiant and his chest constricted painfully. It was still her first day and already she cared more than Milly ever had. The thought frightened him as much as it thrilled him. He finished the coffee and waved her off from re-filling it.
"Later. I'll get a head start on the chores." In truth, the more he moved around on his bad leg, the less pronounced his limp would be. "I'll bring in some eggs for breakfast."
Belle seemed to blanche at the suggestion but reached for her stack of cookbooks. "I'll be ready for them."
Maybe she would last the two months. Maybe she would grow to be comfortable in his home. Maybe she would choose to stay. Deciding it was too early to determine and too much to ask of fate to be kind to him, Gold made his way out to the barn just as the sun was starting to peek over the horizon.
