On arrival, at the house, Starsky could hear the telephone ringing, inside, as he got out of the car. He ran up the drive, leaving Hutch to retrieve Dylan, and into the house to answer the call. "Hello" "David?" "Mom?" "Yes son it's me. I heard from Harold. He told me about Venna. How are you?" On hearing his mother's voice Starsky broke down. He had been holding it together all morning, afraid if he gave in, to tears, he'd never stop. Sobs wracked his body. He could not get any words out, he just sobbed and sobbed. Hutch came in carrying Dylan, who was fast asleep. He acknowledged Starsky with a small nod and a reassuring smile and carried the child up to his bedroom. Starsky could hear his mothers voice "Oh David, let me come. I can be there in a few hours. David?" Starsky continued to sob. Hutch came, from settling Dylan. Putting one arm around his partner's shoulders, he took the telephone from him. "Hello" he said into the phone. "Kenneth, Kenneth is that you?" asked Mrs Starsky. "Rachael? Yeah it's me." Hutch replied. "Thank you, thank you for being there with my David" The relief in her voice was obvious, so was the concern. "How is he Kenneth? He sound so distraught." Rachael Starsky asked. Hutch smiled, sympathetically at his friend, he answered "He's gonna be okay. It's good he's crying, letting it all out. He needs this. It's doing him good. I'm here" he said, as much to Starsky as he did to his friend's mother.

"Ken, do you think I should come? Do you think David needs me?" Starsky's mother asked. Hutch was unsure if Rachael knew about Dylan. "I think maybe you should be here." he replied. Starsky was now slumped on the sofa, beat, crying silently. Hutch turned and looked at his partner, into the phone he said, "I think he needs you right now. I think he's finding this really hard. He's got a lot to cope with." Hutch didn't know how to let the woman know about Starsky's decision to keep Dylan. In truth he doubted if Starsky would keep him. It had been Hutch that had done all the caring, so far, although that was understandable. "Please come Rachael. He needs to talk. He needs you" Hutch begged. "I'll take the next available flight, and Kenneth..." she began "Yes?" Hutch asked "Look after my boy" she finished. "You know it. Let me know what flight you'll be on and I'll come get you, when you land." Hutch offered. "Thank you Kenneth. Let David know, I'll see you both soon" Hutch replaced the handset and went into the kitchen. He grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and walked back to Starsky. Sitting next to him, Hutch opened the can and offered it to his friend. Starsky shook his head. "Aw come on Starsk' it'll make you feel better." Hutch reassured. "Hutch, I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. Not this time" Starsky said, lost. "Hey buddy. It will get better. Give it time." Hutch soothed. "Your ma's coming. She's worried about you. Come on Starsky. It wont always feel like this. Trust me." "Hutch what about Dylan? I can't keep Dylan. I can't look after him" Starsky felt as though he had really failed. "I know I should. I know Venna would want me to. My heart wants to do it, but my head. Hutch I'm so confused. I don't know what's right anymore. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." Starsky looked at Hutch, "How'm I supposed to feel Hutch?" He put his head in his hands. "Starsk'" Hutch looked at Starsky, tenderly, full of concern, "I don't know buddy. Don't think about it now. Don't try too hard. It takes time. Starsky your ma will be here soon, let's just focus on that, shall we?" Hutch offered a small smile and patted Starsky's shoulder. "Just give it time" He soothed. In silence, they drank their beers. Both detectives were tired, emotional and beat. Hutch was desperately worried about his friend but he knew there wasn't much he could do, other than be there, when Starsky needed him.

Over the next few days Starsky improved. His mother's presence was helping. She loved Dylan and had, all but convinced Starsky to keep him. He was still talking about giving up police work, but, on the whole, was much better. Meredith Chambers had been by and was very pleased with how things were going. Thanks to Rachael, the house was clean and Dylan seemed fine. The only problem seemed to be at bedtime. Dylan insisted on sleeping with Starsky. Apart from that first night out of hospital, Dylan had not been back to his own bed, since his mother and brother had died. "Come on Dylan, how' bout it? You can't sleep with me forever." Starsky urged the little boy. "NO STARSKY, NO!" shouted Dylan, frantically shaking his head. "Look Champ, I'll come in with you. I'll stay with you, until you fall asleep" Starsky promised. "NO!" shouted Dylan, again. Starsky picked him up, deciding maybe he needed to be firmer. He was tired of this every night. "Come on Dylan, bedtime" he said carrying him up the stairs. Dylan fought all the way. He was screaming and thrashing about but, as soon as Starsky entered his room, all the fight went out of him. Starsky laid the child on the bed, only to see him shaking. "Hey come on sweetheart" Starsky soothed stroking the child's hair. "It's okay. Dylan this is your room. All your toys are here" Dylan was crying, silently and continued to shake. "Dylan, please, come on, talk to me huh? Tell me what's wrong? Tell me what you need?" In a small voice, so full of sadness, Dylan replied "I need mommy." Starsky picked up the little boy and held him close, "I need mommy too Champ, I need mommy too." Starsky rocked him on his lap. He did eventually fall asleep, but Starsky carried him into his room, anyway, "Looks like it's you and me again tonight" he said as he tucked the little boy into bed. He whispered, as he turned out the light, "Sleep well, little guy" then he kissed, the sleeping child, gently and went downstairs.

Getting through the funeral was difficult. Rachael did not think that the child should be there. Starsky disagreed and insisted Dylan attended. Hutch agreed with Starsky. Dylan was missing his brother. All his life he had an instant playmate, with Ray. Now he was alone. Starsky could imagine how he felt. He had Hutch. Dylan had no-one. He was due to begin school soon and Starsky hoped that would help, and there was still his birthday to look forward to, but Starsky did not know any of Dylan's friends, so did not know how to arrange any celebration.

In trying to make things normal, for Dylan, Starsky was gradually living again. The funeral had given some sense of closure for him and Dylan. He had finally managed to get the boy back into his own room. In the past month he and Hutch had redecorated Dylan's bedroom. They had kept Ray's toys, but removed his clothes and his bed. Photographs had been put up around the house. Pictures of the four of them playing and being together. Dylan and Ray's baby pictures had been arranged, in collages, around Dylan's bedroom and there was now a photograph of his mother on the wall above his bed. Starsky had spoken no-more about quitting the police force but neither had he talked about returning to work. Captain Dobey had told Starsky to take as long as he needed. He'd given Hutch a month to support Starsky. The month was over and Hutch wanted to talk to his partner about returning to work with him. He'd been staying with Starsky since Venna's death. On the surface Starsky did seem much better. The old' Starsky grin was back. Rachael had even babysat a couple of times, whilst they went out to Huggy's. But, at night, Hutch could here Starsky crying in bed. Many times he thought he should go in and see him, but he knew Starsky probably needed the time alone. Hutch thought maybe getting Starsky to the squad room might be a good way to raise the subject. Whilst Rachael was putting Dylan to bed, Hutch asked Starsky if he could take Dylan to visit the precinct, in the morning. "So what do you say Starsk'? You gonna come, or what?" "I'll think about it Hutch. I'm not sure I'm ready." "Starsky it'll do you good, you know Dylan's fascinated about where we work. Besides all that you can ask the Captain if Edith can help organize Dylan's birthday." Starsky, seeing that Hutch had a point, and being too tired to argue, reluctantly agreed. "Okay partner, tomorrow we'll all go to the precinct."

In the morning the little boy woke with a sore throat and runny nose. Rachael told Starsky and Hutch they should go without him. Starsky started to protest but he was outnumbered and, pretty soon, he and Hutch were on their way to the police department building. "Just like old times, hey buddy?" asked Hutch, watching Starsky drive. "Not quite partner." replied Starsky, without turning. "I've got a little boy at home now" Then, turning to Hutch, "Never had that before, did I?" he smiled. "Starsk', the past month, we haven't really talked about it. I know you miss her buddy. I know your head's probably all screwed up now, but have you thought about work?" Hutch asked. "Hutch, right now, all I can think about is Dylan and missing Venna. And Ray. I had a family Hutch, ya know? When I was little I always dreamt about having a family. When I was with Helen, we talked about it, you know that and Terri, we never had the chance, but with Venna, I got lucky. I got my whole family, all in one package and then it was gone. It wasn't just Venna and Ray that died that day Hutch. It was dreams, my future." "Aw come on Starsky, you can still have dreams, a future" Hutch reassured. "It don't feel like it Hutch. I can't even think straight. During the day I'm focussing on Dylan's needs, his birthday, his school. There's Venna's parents, making sure he sees them. Feeding him, playing with him, soothing him. All about Dylan. At night...It's all Venna. Missing her, hating her." "Hating her?" interrupted Hutch, "Yeah. For leaving. And loving her, still loving her. Always Venna. I can't even think about me yet." "Starsky you have to. You need, you feel. You're hurting buddy." Hutch touched Starsky's arm "I'm here, you know that" "Yeah Hutch you're here, ma's here. Venna's not here. God Hutch I miss her so much. Sometimes the pain, it feels almost physical" Starsky looked scared. "I know, I know" soothed Hutch. The rest of the journey was spent in silence.

Arriving at the precinct, Starsky was surprised at how strange it felt. He visibly shuddered. Hutch noticed and prompted his partner "Come on Starsky. You can do this. You'll see."

Everyone was thrilled, and amazed, to see Detective Sergeants Starsky and Hutchinson enter the squad room together. Many offered their condolences, to Starsky, but most were just happy to see the team back together again. Captain Dobey, knowing they were coming, had organized an impromptu party in his office and soon everyone, including Starsky, were laughing and enjoying themselves.

On the way home, in the Torino, Starsky felt the happiest he had done, since Venna's death. "Hey Hutch" he said, turning to his partner. Hutch looked at him. Starsky continued, "Thanks" Hutch smiled and put his arm around the back of Starsky's seat, "You're welcome" he smiled.

At home Rachael was worried about Dylan. His throat was sore was worse and his temperature was up. She had called the doctor and was about to call Starsky when he and Hutch came walking in, arms around each other, smiling. "Oh David you're home. I'm worried about the baby. Poor little thing. He's really not well. I've telephoned the doctor." "S'okay ma, you rest up. I'll go see him. I'm sure it's just a cold" Starsky smiled casually. He remembered how his mother used to fuss whenever he and Nicky were sick. She always thought they were dying and would telephone the doctor and then Aunt Rose, for chicken soup. "Hey Ma" he called, from halfway up the stairs, "When's the chicken soup arriving?" he grinned. Hutch laughed. He was so pleased that Starsky had enjoyed his day.

Starsky bounded up the stairs, to see Dylan.

The child was in his bed, sleeping. Starsky quietly went over and felt his forehead. He was hot, but not too hot. He had a temperature, but nothing serious. Starsky was happy to let him sleep and went downstairs to wait for the doctor.

Hutch had already helped himself to a beer and was seated in the kitchen. "How's our boy?" he asked, as Starsky entered. "He'll live. He's asleep." Starsky answered and then "Hutch..." "Starsk'..." both partners said together. "You first" added Hutch. Starsky continued, "I think maybe I should get back to work...I didn't realise how much I missed it. You know Hutch for the first time, I felt alive today, for the first time in a month." Starsky grinned. "That's great Starsk'. The department needs you. Hey I need you, you big lug!" Hutch laughed. Starsky's mother came in, "My you two look happy, David?" she questioned. "I'm gonna be okay ma." Starsky told her, as if realising it at last. "It's gonna take time, but I think I'm gonna be okay. Maybe you need to get back to New York? And maybe I need to start doing this alone." "Hey Starsky" interrupted Hutch, "You're not alone buddy. Remember that" "Sure partner," Starsky nodded, smiling, "Sure. I need to sort out school, day-care, maybe a house keeper..." Starsky's brain was running in overdrive, "Hey slow down partner. Let's take it as it comes hey?" "Oh God" Starsky said, his face ashen. "What?" Hutch asked, worried. "Dylan's school, they're expecting Ray. I haven't told them about Ray" "It's okay buddy. I'll sort it out. You got the details?" "Somewhere, Venna sorted it out. I can find them." "Okay you do that and I'll pay the school a visit, explain. They might know about day-care too." "Fine idea Ollie" replied Starsky and Hutch grinned. He had not heard Starsky say that for a long while now. His partner was on his way back. Hutch couldn't help but smile. He had not realised that Starsky had got so much worked out. He'd obviously been thinking about it for a while. Hutch wondered when he did that, but was grateful that he had. "When does school begin?" asked Hutch. "Next week" replied Starsky "Venna and me were going to take them" Starsky shrugged and sighed. "Okay, so now it'll have to be us" reassured Hutch, nodding. "Look go find the details, then wait for the doctor. I'll see if I can get it sorted. I gotta return to work soon Starsk', so we'd better do this first" "Hutch..." Starsky looked at Hutch, "You think Dobey will give you another couple of weeks? I need you here buddy and maybe then I'll go back with you" "We can but try, partner. Let's sort out school and I'll drop by and talk to Dobey in the morning." "Hutch..." "Yeah buddy?" "Thanks"

Soon everything was sorted out. Hutch had been in to see the principal, Mrs Stanley. She sympathised with Hutch and asked him to pass on her condolences to Mr Starsky. She said she was very much looking forward to taking Dylan and would let his teacher know the situation, in case he needed any support. Hutch thanked her and decided to make his way to the precinct. May as well go and see Dobey now he thought to himself.