I just want to apologize for my extremely slow updates. I'm still really interested in writing this story as long as everyone else is happy reading it!

Thank you to my fabulous reviewers! You know who are! :) I'd just thought I'd add that the ED is the original one and by that I mean before the fire and before it got revamped. Here's the next chapter!

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Zoe wandered through the ED, placing a false smile on her face as her colleagues passed her. This seemingly happy smile that she wore was her armour. The armour that protected her from any awkward questions that people asked her and Zoe believed that if she continued to wear this barrier, she would convince herself that things would get better.

Zoe got to Nick's office and paused, turning around to look at the Emergency Department of which she worked in. This place had so many memories. The memory of their beautiful little girl entering the world. The memory of Nick's not so romantic marriage proposal. Zoe sighed at the thought of Nick and she could feel her eyes brimming with tears. She twisted round and opened the office door, letting it swing open.

"Hey Zoe" said Tess, sitting in Nick's office chair and bouncing an excited Alexa on her knee. Zoe smiled as she watched her sparkly eyed daughter giggle as Tess tickled her tummy.

"She been ok?" asked Zoe, strolling round the desk and bending down next to Alexa.

"Of course she has. You're becoming a right chatterbox aren't you?" laughed Tess. Alexa reached out to Zoe and Zoe took her clammy hand, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm trying to get her to say Daddy..." said Zoe quietly and then tailing off so that her words were hardly heard. Tess shuffled in her seat, feeling slightly uncomfortable at what Zoe was inferring. She could see in the young Doctors eyes that it was painful mentioning Nick.

"Are you coming into work tomorrow Zoe?" asked Tess quickly, anxious to change delicate subject. Zoe nodded slowly, lifting Alexa up and off of Tess' lap.

"Yes I am. Adam's going to go round and see Nick tomorrow. Just to have a chat... about work I suppose" responded Zoe hesitantly, moving a strand of dark brown hair away from Alexa's face.

"And Alexa?" continued Tess.

"She's going round to my mum's although I think Nick would rather he stayed with him" replied Zoe.

"It's understandable that he feels that way. I suppose he just wants to spend as much time with her as he..." Tess stopped suddenly when she realised what she was saying. She couldn't believe she had been so tactless about Zoe and Nick's situation.

"Tess, it doesn't matter" said Zoe, fully aware of what Tess was trying to say.

"It was insensitive of me" mumbled Tess

"At least you stated the truth. That's more than anyone else will do" Zoe uttered. Her phone began to ring and she reached into her pocket to get it, balancing Alexa carefully upon her hip. Zoe read the screen. Nick. Her heart launched into a faster beat as Zoe shakily held the phone to her ear.

"Hey Nick... Yeah, I'm just having a quick word with Tess and then I'll be coming home... That's fine... I'll pick it up for you on the way home... Ok... see you later... love you" Zoe grasped the phone tightly in her hand as she cut the call. Every time she got a call from Nick, she always feared that there would some stranger on the line, speaking in a worried voice and telling Zoe that Nick was being taken to hospital and that they called her because she was the last person on Nick's phone. Tess watched her younger colleague intently as she battled to put her phone away. Tess had always noticed how Zoe reacted when she got calls from Nick. She could see distress in her eyes as she talked to her him

"Nick ok?" queried Tess.

"Fine, just checking when I was coming home. He wanted me to pick up some painkillers for him in the chemist on the way back" answered Zoe. Zoe wandered over towards Alexa's buggy and strapped and little girl in, pulling a blanket over her legs.

"Tell Nick I said hello" smiled Tess as Zoe pulled open the office door.

"Thanks Tess, he'll appreciate that" Zoe said.

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"Can we have 10mg of morphine please Scarlett" said Adam with hints of frustration in his voice. The younger nurse nodded obediently and rushed off to find what Adam requested.

"Adam, do you need some help?" asked Charlie, coming up behind him. Adam shrugged slightly as he continued to examine Michelle, a patient who was in her 30's who had been involved in the RTC that they had been called to. Charlie sighed heavily and went round the other side of the hospital bed, peering at the bleeping monitor as he did so.

"Her sats have dropped slightly"

"Ok. I need you to order a head scan Charlie. I'm worried that the trauma to the head has caused some sort of internal bleeding" instructed Adam.

"Are you ok Adam?" asked Charlie, slightly concerned about his colleagues impetuous mood. Ever since their conversation with Zoe earlier that day, Adam had become very short with everyone who he talked to.

"Charlie, I'm fine now please get Michelle a head scan!" said Adam. He grabbed a small light from his top pocket and shone it in the woman's eyes. "Her pupils are responding which is good" Adam looked up from Michelle and frowned when he saw Charlie looking at him.

"Seriously Adam, this tense atmosphere is doing anyone any good"

"If you're really that bothered, I'm worried about Zoe and Nick" replied Adam, not making complete eye contact with Charlie.

"It's deeper than that Adam. I know you. What else is wrong?" asked Charlie. Adam breathed out slowly and glanced around the resus room, making sure there wasn't anyone else in there with them.

"It's only me in here with you and Michelle isn't conscious" Charlie reassured Adam.

"It's just that everything going on with Nick and Zoe remind me of me and Jess, minus the brain tumour of course" sighed Adam.

"I'm not sure I completely get what your trying to say" said Charlie.

"Nick and Zoe have a child together. Me and Jess have... had a child together. When I've seen the three of them together, It makes me think of how Jess, Harry and I were a family until... well you know" Adam's voice tailed off as he remembered back to the past year. The pain of losing his little baby boy was still so raw. He still blamed himself over what happened even though deep down, he knew it was just a tragic accident.

"Oh Adam"

Adam seated himself down on a stool next to the bed and he gripped the top of his arms as if he were trying to shield himself away from and everyone else around him. "I know I should just try and forget but I can't Charlie, I just can't"

"No one is saying that you should Adam. What happened to little Harry will be something that you will remember the rest of your life and your allowed to grieve. It's human nature" said Charlie. Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of paper. He handed it to Charlie and the older nurse opened it carefully.

"Baby Harry" said Adam as he watched Charlie scan the photo with his eyes "I keep it with me wherever I go. It comforts me sometimes" Charlie didn't reply but nodded very subtly. He folded the photo back up and placed it in the palm of Adam's hand. Adam gripped his fingers tightly over it, closing his eyes for a quick second.

"Have you contacted Jess?" asked Charlie, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"A while ago. She's moved on now though" Adam placed his head in his hands and he remembered his wife. "S...she's moved on" repeated Adam, trying to convince himself that Jess had started a new life although in reality, he couldn't be sure.

"Even so" Charlie continued gently. He had witnessed so many awful things throughout working at Holby City but nothing came close as to what Adam and Jessica went through. And now he was having to watch Zoe and Nick suffer.

"Look, I appreciate the concern Charlie but I'm really not the one you should be worried about" Adam continued, desperately trying to get Charlie of his case even though the possibility of this happening was highly dubious. He appreciated his colleagues concern but Adam just didn't want to talk about Jess and Harry. Charlie shook his head slowly and walked away from Adam, receptive that he would most likely get nothing more out of him about his troubles.

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"Nick, I'm back" called Zoe as she entered the flat. She pushed herself up against the front door and pulled Alexa's buggy through. Zoe placed the bag, which contained Nick's requested medicine, down on their hall table. "Nick?" Zoe called again, quickly scanning the room for her fiancée as she leaned down, elevating her young daughter into her arms.

"I'm here" called a muffled voice. Zoe wandered away from the hallway and into their kitchen/diner. She turned to see Nick, hovering over the sink, peeling potatoes along with another array of vegetables.

"What's all this?" asked Zoe surprised but in truth, she was secretly pleased that Nick was up and about doing things. Nick smiled and placed the peeler down in the bowl of boiling water. He ambled across to Zoe and settled a small kiss on her cheek and then leant down, putting his hands carefully under Alexa's and lifted her up in the air, making the little girl giggle.

"Just thought I'd make an effort for you" said Nick, finally responding to Zoe's earlier question.

"Well we think it's lovely, don't we sweetheart" grinned Zoe, stroking Alexa's face.

"Why don't you two girls go and make yourself comfortable and I'll join you in a minute?" Nick suggested. This recommendation from Nick was more of an order and Zoe nodded in agreement.

"Can you just look after her for a minute while I go and get changed though" added Zoe as an extra thought. Nick acknowledged this request as Zoe wandered off into their bedroom to change from her work attire. Nick held his daughter close, kissing the top of her dark hair.

"Shall we go and find your teddies Lex?" Nick said, putting on a higher pitched voice to get the little girls attention. Nick sat down on the sofa and placed Alexa next to him. He watched as Alexa began to play with some of her toys that were spread over the sofa. Every time Nick looked at his daughter, he always found that he had this immense feeling of pride. He knew that even though he wouldn't see most of Alexa's life, she would grow up into a popular successful girl and that was the hope that kept him going. For five minutes, Nick sat there with Alexa as she continued to play until Zoe emerged from the bedroom, her work uniform completely changed into a pair of flared black jeans and a red loose fitting top.

"That was quick" Nick remarked his wife to be saunter across the flat to join them.

"No point dawdling when dinners nearly ready!" hinted Zoe, a smirk creeping across her face. Nick nodded and jokily saluted Zoe as he pushed himself off of the sofa to go and finish their dinner.

"Oh Nick, I bought those painkillers you wanted. They're on the hall table" said Zoe.

"Thanks" said Nick quietly. Zoe glanced across at Nick as she noted his quick, soft reply. His expression on his face had altogether changed and Zoe scowled slightly. She thought it was best if she didn't say anything. She didn't want a repeat performance of the other night when Nick barely uttered a word to her after she'd mentioned his illness. Instead, Zoe turned back towards her daughter, trying to forget the pain was lying upon her family which was slowly trying to destroy them.

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I tried to make this chapter extra long, considering how long I've kept some of you waiting! Any spelling and grammar mistakes are mine as always! Keep reviewing! Each and every one of them makes me smile! Hopefully the next update will be sooner than this one!

X Natasha X