Note : Thank you for your reviews () ! (well, if you have a nick, it'll be easier hehe ^^)
I'll make the corrections, sorry I miss a lot of mistakes even when I read again, too long on the same text and I get blind ! Your help is appreciated ! Sora too, thank you !!
Lucifaera : I'll personally send you handkerchiefs if you already cried at the previous chapter, because this one is, to my opinion, a lot worse...
mgx'ndzou : I don't know if your question was for me of a general question to the other reviewers, but I'll answer ! To tell the truth, I pity Matt the most because he's (at least here, as I see him) the one who has to look at his love being hurt, and it's always harder to see someone you love be hurt than to be hurt yourself.
Ok, here it is, I thought first that I would cut it straight after 9th paragraph, but the chapter would have been too short, you're lucky ! XD
And I want to keep this fic with a heavy rhythm with no long useless paragraphs, just pure action ! I hope I managed to do so !
"Come back Mello, you're not a whore, come back, don't go out tonight, I need you in one piece, I need you, I just need you..."
Matt kept on mumbling these words on and on, wandering like an automatic puppet around the parking, stopping in front of his car after a while. He stood there a few minutes, hand half raised holding the key, immobile and silent.
Then he opened the door, sat on the driver's seat, and stayed immobile again a few minutes with his hand still on the key he had already inserted for contact. His mind seemed to need some time to register each action and move to the next step.
The mumbling came back as he drove out the parking, his eyes wide open on the road, never once blinking. He was driving too fast and avoided several crashes due to other drivers luckily getting out of his way.
Mello was drowning his depression in alcohol again, and tonight he decided he should have something more, something that would at least for a few hours keep his mind busy, away from his pain. Physical pain was all he knew to forget mental pain. But as he got used to something, he needed more, a bit like when you start drinking beer, and then wine, whiskey, and the more you get drunk, the stronger the alcohol has to be to make you drunk.
The first glass made him think of his previous sexual encounters. Mello wondered what he could do more than what he already did, as he became bored with sex. Nothing had the ability to stir some lust, some real lust, the one that entertain you for a whole night. Sex was just plain, uninteresting. The second glass made him look around, in case some guy would catch his eye. Nothing. The third glass made him think of Matt. Quickly followed by the fourth, fifth and sixth glasses, just so he would stop thinking. The seventh was offered by a guy that looked like a biker, not that bad looking, but he was spreading a creepy aura from all the pores of his skin. Unfortunately, that turned Mello on.
The eighth glass was supposed to be taken to the guy's apartment. Mello was finishing the seventh glass before leaving with his freaky date.
Matt stopped in the middle of the road, in front of the glaucous bar Mello usually visited on saturday nights, leaving his door open, not even caring he was blocking the way or that his car could be stolen. Actually, he wasn't aware of it all.
Entering the bar, his eyes scanned blankly until they stopped on a thin form dressed in black leather.
"Mello..." Matt's eyes blinked and widened even more, if possible.
"MELLO !!!" Matt's scream made all faces turn to him. Mello only had time to look to where the scream came from, his blood frozing in his veins, as Matt was already on him, grabbing hold of his arm and dragging him out of the bar.
Mello followed sheepishly, shocked by what he just heard. Matt's voice had reached him to the deepest of his soul, shooting him with a fear and a despair in his tone such that Mello was mentally knocked out, wide eyed walking in Matt's tracks.
"Hey, what do you fucking think you're doing ?" asked the guy that previously sat next to Mello in the bar. He didn't seem to agree to Mello's quick departure.
"I found that little whore first, wait your turn, I ain't gonna let my place bastard" the guy added, dangerously heading closer to Matt.
Mello just had the time to catch the glimpse in Matt's eyes, before he got pushed behind as Matt released his hold off him. A glimpse of pure fury.
Matt raised his fist and hit the guy straight in the throat, not caring the guy being one foot taller than him, and probably twice his weight. He hit him a second time in the jaw, and again on the temple. The guy fell on his knees, shouting in anger, then got back on his feet and tried to counter attack but Matt had already sent an uppercut followed by many, many other punches. Mello and the other people around that gathered to see the fight were astonished : Matt was knocking the guy like mad, just like if he wanted to punch him to death, his face distorted in madness. Matt's actions were so quick that the guy couldn't even defend himself, let alone hit back. David beating Goliath to death.
Mello suddenly realized that Matt would kill the guy.
He ran to Matt, caught his two arms from behind and tried to pull him. Matt turned violently and faced Mello. His mad gaze suddenly became blank. He grabbed Mello's arm again, pushing him inside the car through the driver's open door, leaving the bleeding guy on the pavement. Mello slid on the passenger's seat, not leaving his eyes off Matt.
Matt released his hold to drive, his eyes fixated on the road again, without a blink, heading to Wammy's.
Once there, Matt's hand was around Mello's arm again, pulling him out of the car and heading inside Wammy's then upstairs, to their room. He slam the door shut and suddenly let himself fall on the floor, dragging Mello with him as he still had a hold on him.
"Matt, you're hurting me" Mello said, feeling pins and needles in his arm, a blueish bruise starting to show around the place Matt's hand was locked.
Matt let Mello's arm go even if he didn't seem to have registered Mello's complaint. Actually, he only let it go to pull Mello in an embrace one second later, desperately clutching to Mello's neck, resting his head on his shoulder, starting to rock back and forth.
"Come back Mello, you're not a whore, come back, don't go out tonight, I need you in one piece, I need you, I just need you..."
Mello's eyes opened wide in shock. Did he really hear these words ? Matt... needed him ? He forced himself not to believe what he wanted to believe, he would go mad if he mistook Matt's words.
"He needs me as a friend, that's it" Mello said to himself. "Yes, that must be it, he's just scared because of what happened with B... ok, what do I do now ?" Truth is, he didn't want to do anything, being there in Matt's arms was all he ever dreamt of, and he wanted to make this last as long as possible.
Mello was starting to feel sleepy, being rocked back and forth like in a cradle and considering the amount of alcohol he drunk that night. He slowly fell asleep in Matt's arms... "Come back Mello, I need you..."
Mello woke up, his body aching due to the position he had slept in, remembering slowly what happened the night before. Matt was still asleep, in the same position as when he fell on his knees. Mello tried to move without waking Matt, slowly taking Matt's arms off of him, to let them rest on Matt's knees. Doing so, he noticed the bruises and cuts on Matt's hands, and he felt the need to kiss the harm away. He felt guilty.
Matt woke up at the feeling, slowly lifting his head to look at where his hands were. The blood that stained his hands had stained Mello's hands and lips too.
"MELLO !!!"
Mello jerked back in surprise.
"MELLO, YOU'RE HURT !!!"
"No Matt, this is..."
In an instant, Matt's lips crashed on Mello's. Mello fell backward, Matt following him on the floor, kissing him passionately, deepening the kiss while he desperately held Mello's face in his palms. Mello mumbling under his lips that it was not his blood, Matt suddenly broke the kiss, rushing back, his mind racing through all the events from past months : the messages, Mello almost dead, B, eyes, shots, the hospital, the bar, the guy on the pavement, Mello with blood on his lips...
Matt had just came back to this world, the shock of thinking Mello was hurt seemed to have been hard enough to wake his blurry mind, and yet a feeling of horror, guilt and sadness ran through his veins as he realized he had kissed Mello, killed a man, almost killed another, and that whatever he would do, Mello would never stop his nights' wanders, and that he had to accept he was not important enough to influence Mello on that point or know what was wrong for him to do that, he just felt like he was intruding Mello's life.
"Mello..." Matt started, trembling, knowing that he would probably regret what he was about to say, yet he would say it, his heart was almost there in pieces on the floor, it didn't matter anymore if someone stepped on it to reduce it to dust.
He breathed heavily, looking at the beauty facing him before looking back at the floor, ashamed.
"Matt..." Mello whispered, his hand raising to touch Matt's cheek, falling down as Matt replied.
"Mello, let me say what I have to say, I'll never find the courage to talk again... Mello, I'm sorry, I already was just a boring no life gamer with no experience, and I understood already that I had no chance with you... please forgive me... it drives me mad to think of someone harming you, but now I think I'm going insane, I became a murderer Mello ! I'm sorry, I forced a kiss on you, please, I don't want you to believe I wanted to force you, I will never harm you... I wanted to protect you from dirty people, but I'm even dirtier, I'm sorry I stained you with my blood, a murderer's blood... Mello I don't even deserve to ask you to forgive me... I will leave today, I think it's better this way, I already went too far and I don't want to make mistakes again... I'll leave you in peace and I will never interfere in your life anymore... but... it was just... because I love you..." Matt was crying, feeling life leaving him as he made his decision to stay away from Mello forever.
Mello was stunned. Matt loves him ?! MATT LOVES HIM !
But to his surprise, Matt had already stood up and was leaving. Mello followed him only to see Matt lock himself in the library. Mello knocked.
"Matt ? Let me in please... Matt ? What are you doing ? Won't you even let me tell you what I think of what you said ? … Matt, open this fucking door !" Mello was going crazy with the need of holding Matt and tell him that he loved him too.
The sound of books falling on the floor. A metallic sound followed by some electronic lock being tortured.
Thoughts of horror rushed through Mello's mind: death note in a box, in the library, locked, Matt who was the one who set the electronic lock due to his skills so he knew how to open it. "Oh fuck no, MATT !"
Mello began smashing the door, mad with anxiety, Matt wasn't doing that, Matt couldn't do that !
The door cracked open, Mello jumped on the desk, pushing away death note, pen, pulling Matt in his arms before pushing him back in his chair, jerking off the desk to pick the death note up : Mail Jee...
Mello almost passed out at this sight. But hopefully it was not too late, Matt didn't have time to complete his real name...
"Matt you stupid jerk !" spat Mello, holding Matt with both hands by the collar "you bastard ! How dare you !" Mello wasn't even aware of the tears rolling on his cheeks "I almost lost you just when you told me what I've wanted to hear from you for so long ! Shit, Matt ! Your only mistake was to think you weren't worth of me ! Why would I forgive you anything when I'm the one to blame ? You did nothing wrong ! You saved me, you were always there for me, and you ask for forgiveness when I'm the one who should ! And you're not dirty, you're the one that took me away from dirtiness, and your blood was only the proof of the way you protected me, so never say again that you stained me ! Matt, you're so pure, how could you stain me when you acted like my guardian angel ?"
Matt lifted his head, at last daring to look into Mello's eyes.
"Wanna see how much you forced a kiss on me ?" whispered Mello before gently covering Matt's mouth with his. His hands wandered from Matt's collar to his hair, holding him close, and when Matt let a soft moan, Mello deepened the kiss, his tongue eagerly stroking Matt's, who was holding Mello's waist tight like he would never let him go anymore.
Matt broke the kiss. "Mello, do you mean we went through all that just because we couldn't confess our feelings to the other ?"
"I'm afraid so, Matt... but the only regret I will have is that you didn't come with a rose between your teeth when you came to save me" joked Mello.
"Why would I offer you a rose when you're the most beautiful flower on earth, Mello ?..." Matt whispered, looking at Mello with so much love that Mello almost fainted. "Although the one that has the most thorns" teased Matt.
Mello blushed, feeling totally limp in Matt's arms, that held him even tighter, as if he wanted to make Mello fit in his own body so they would make only one...
None of them wanted to end this embrace, and that's how L and Light found them hours later, Matt in the chair, Mello sat on his thighs one leg on each side of Matt, Matt breathing Mello's scent, nested in his neck, while hugging him and stroking his back, and Mello gently playing with Matt's messy hair, his chin resting on Matt's head, eyes closed.
L and Light stared at the scene, and Light reached for L's hand, squeezing it gently, before whispering to his ear "I think we don't have to worry for those two anymore, and something tells me we won't have the exclusivity of true love in this house anymore"
L smiled tenderly to Light. Both were filled with joy because of what they were seeing, the scene was touching, and L and Light more than anyone understood the sacred moment Matt and Mello were sharing.
"Hum, we should probably throw heart confettis and white doves, don't you think so Light ?" said L loud enough to stir the two lovers from their daydream.
"Fuck off, L, and close the door behind you, thank you" spat Mello, half smiling at them, his middle finger raised toward them.
"Good ol' Mello is back" Light sighed
"Yes, but he's far less convincing with this lovey dovey look in his eyes" L laughed, ignoring Mello's tongue stuck at him and Matt's smirk.
A few moments later, Mello and Matt finally moved from their positions, hunger being back now that depression and sadness flew away. Mello made sure to rip the page where Matt started to write his name from the death note, burning it to reduce everything that could have taken Matt away from him to ashes.
That's only when Mello looked back at Matt that he realized Matt's hands needed care.
Mello dragged Matt by the wrist to the kitchen, certain to find Watari there. Watari provided Mello with everything needed, and as they both sat at the kitchen's table, Watari left discreetly, a smile forming in his eyes.
"I really thought you would kill him, as big as he was" Mello said, quietly, while washing the cuts on Matt's hands.
"Actually, that's what I wanted to do..." Matt replied, blushing in shame.
"My boyfriend is the strongest !" Mello grinned.
"Boyfriend ?" Matt repeated, his face and look all lit up at that word.
"You wouldn't want me to call you my girlfriend, would you ?" Mello teased, knowing what Matt was meaning. Mello was making it official, and he could see by Matt's sudden light in the eyes that he was as happy as himself.
"Who's playing the nurse right now, tell me, Mello ?" Matt giggled.
"I should put that bandage on your mouth, you fucking girlfriend of mine !" Mello laughed out loud.
"What about putting your lips there instead ?" Matt purred, pulling Mello closer, for a kiss that was so sensual that even Mello blushed...
Note : I'll end this chapter here, but oh oh oh, when will the sex part arrive ? Maybe just after that kiss, who knows ? Naaaa, too easy again ! Like if I would throw lemons at you so fast ! Drama is not over yet, what did you believe ? XD
Just wanted to add some romance here because to my opinion, they needed it ! Poor Mello and Matt, that was cruel to make them suffer so much !
Review please !
