Four Months Later

The sky's were grey in the most beautiful way, snow covered the school grounds, and best of all, midterms were over!

Leading up to midterms, I'd spent exactly two months, one week, and three days studying the practice tests and quizzes, recalculating my mistakes and finding the correct solutions, and coming up with the most perfect plan to ace my midterms.

The week of midterms was full of lots of espresso shots and coffee, as well as energy drinks for my late night cramming before a test. In high school, I'd just study as hard as I could, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and eat a wholesome breakfast beforehand. This was not the place for that.

Unfortunately, grades weren't coming out for another few weeks, meaning I had no idea what grades I got, and I was definitely spending most of my time going over all of the possible ways I could have failed.

"Did I even study that? Oh my god, I think I forgot to study that." I told myself, staring at a page in my Advanced Calculus book. I shook my head back and forth, swearing that I was going crazy. "I'm forgetting everything! I'm no where near prepared for next semester!"

I shoved the book away from me, burying my face in my hands. The room was dull, and half empty. Leah had left as soon as midterms were over, off for a family break in Portugal. She'd made sure to tell me all about her fun trips and how excited she was to go to Portugal again. And oddly enough, I'd listened. Mainly because it kept my mind from going back to the night I'd broke it off with Austin.

God, that memory was still so vivid.

Austin had texted me about ten times within the first two weeks after the breakup, but he'd caught on that I wasn't ready to talk after I didn't reply ten times. Since then, we haven't shared a single word.

Of course, I saw him all over Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and the news. I couldn't escape him. There was always some kind of article or video: AUSTIN MOON WEARS NEW HAT TO PANCAKE DINER; AUSTIN MOON DEBUTS NEW SONG AT CONCERT; AUSTIN MOON HALFWAY DONE WITH TOUR; AUSTIN MOON THIS, AUSTIN MOON THAT, AUSTIN MOON EVERYTHING.

It was driving me insane...

My phone started to ring, the automatic ringtone that any iPhone played going on and on. I looked down at saw that Trish was trying to FaceTime me. For the first time that night, I smiled. I hadn't spoken to her in at least a couple weeks. I swiped my finger across the screen to answer, giving Trish a giant smile.

"Trish, oh my god, hi! How are yo-" I paused in the middle of my question, my eyes adjusting to a familiar background. "Are you at the Music Factory?"

Trish smiled and nodded. "I am! But you're not."

"Trish, what in the world are you doing there? You weren't supposed to come back for the holidays."

"The boys wanted to take a holiday break to see their family. I'm getting paid time off. I'm getting paid to do what I'm best at- be lazy and do nothing!"

I laughed a bit, shaking my head.

"What about you? Aren't you supposed to come back for a day so you and your dad can fly to Africa?"

"Mom had to cancel, something big came up. My dad is flying out to see his parents though, so I'm just going to stay at the dorms and study for next semester."

"Ally... There's no reason to study that much, it's Christmas break. You should be home with your friends." Trish's expression turned to one of concern as she stared at me through the camera.

I shrugged a bit. "I don't mind, it's really beautiful here. And it's so quiet during the holidays. It's the perfect time to study."

"You study all of the time."

"I have to, Trish. This is Harvard. I can't just do my homework and get through it. There's so much work to be done here; so many projects, exams, essays..."

"You were cramming for finals for over two months."

"Yeah, and?"

"No one in their right mind does that." Trish sighed quietly. "Are you sure you're not studying so much just to get your mind off Austin? Have you even called him since?"

"I haven't had time to call. I'm busy, all of the time. I have better things to do than worry about some guy all of the time anyways." My voice was a little harsh, but it wasn't in any means because I was offended. I was trying so hard not to tell Trish the truth about how I was feeling, because I knew that she would try to get us back together, and that wasn't something I was willing to do... As much as I wanted it, the long distance just hurt too badly.

"Geez, okay. Well, you should still fly out. Dez will be here in just a couple days."

"I don't know."

"Think about it." Trish ended the FaceTime quickly, and I set my phone down on the desk in front of me. A long, exhausted sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back in my wooden chair. I could go back, but what if I ran into Austin? What would we say? Could we be mature adults around each other, or would he get angry with me about everything?

"No!" I shouted, slamming my fist on my desk. "I'm not letting some made up in my mind, jerk version of Austin keep me from seeing my best friends. I'm sure everything'll be fine. He probably can't even make it home for the holidays."