Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for what I was about to do. It was something that Gin had instilled in me.. A teaching… A rule… Never go alone to the mountain... It is not a place for humans to travel without a guide.
"Not all spirits are kind, Hotaru... That's why you must be careful." His words echoed in my mind as I grabbed my sweatshirt and pulled it over my clothes.
"I'm sorry Gin... I have to do this." I know that I'm not talking to anyone. Instead, It's more to myself. I force my legs to move as I jump out of my bedroom window and head down the moon lit path. It wasn't easy to see anything, but I've travelled this path enough to do it blind folded. It doesn't take me long to enter the clearing. My feet stop moving.
It's such a strange feeling to not see Gin here…. Shaking my head to free myself from reminiscing thoughts, I prepare to enter the forest alone.
"Come on Hotaru... You have to do this..." I take off in a run up the stairs and into the forest. I could feel the air change around me. This was a familiar feeling. However, unlike what I was used to, the forest was quiet. No spirits came to greet me like they used to before. No pranks from the mischievous ones. Instead, it was silent…. Almost felt empty… or…. Sad.
"Hello... Spirits, do you remember me? It's Hotaru... Gin's friend." I called out. Everything was silent for a moment before I felt the air change slightly.
"Human girl. It's not safe to be here alone." One of the spirits finally responded to me. It was a spirit I knew well from my time with Gin. Gin called her 'Nomi'. She was a kind spirit, a gently motherly type.
"Nomi... That's you, isn't it?" She didn't come out, but I could always recognize her voice. "I'm here to talk to you about Gin."
"There is nothing to speak of…. Gin no longer has a connection with this world..." She responded, her voice sounded sad.
"I wouldn't say that…. He still feels the calling to come here. I can see it in his eyes."
Nomi didn't say anything back.
"I…I thought that he would be gone forever… That I would never see him again…. I thought…. he vanished…" Tears began to blur my vision as I continued talking. I didn't know if Nomi was still there, but I figured the mountain itself could hear me.
"…. He did…." Nomi's voice was soft, but clear. I turned around to see her standing there. She was in the shape of a young woman who didn't look much older than me. Her eyes were a deep blue like the ocean, her hair black as night, her skin porcelain. I had never seen her in this form before.
"What do you mean?" I asked, still taken back by her beautiful appearance. The spirit walked over to me, her dark hair glistening even though there was hardly any light.
"He was supposed to disappear forever… But… Even the God of this mountain mourned for this loss. No one could accept that fate. Because of this, many spirits went to the top of the mountain to cry out. We begged and pleaded for days…. Our cries were heard. He brought him back to live as a human and not a spirit…. Though the price was his memories.." Her eyes looked downcast.
"What all did he forget?" The pain in her eyes was obvious even to me... I knew the answer just from her look alone.
"Everything. His entire life..." Her words were hard to choke down... I knew he lost his memories, but being told that by someone who knew him... It really made this real.
"Is there anyway to get them back?"
"No... In order to bring Gin back, the gods had to completely erase everything. In a since, he was reincarnated... but reincarnated to the age he was when he passed away..."
"This must be so hard on you..." I said without really thinking. Nomi looked at me with sad eyes.
"It's much harder for him…. He is the one who has to pretend everyday… Pretend that he knows his life.. Even though he knows nothing. What a cruel twist of fate that he would end up here again…."
Her eyes, a deep blue like the ocean, seemed to peer into the distance, as if she were searching for something.
"It was selfish of us to wish… to bring him back… But we couldn't just let him cease to exist."
"I think this is what he would have wanted… Gin.. He can finally touch people without fear of vanishing… He no longer has to feel lonely, because he is where he truly belongs… It's hard that he doesn't have any memories… But he can make more memories."
"Even if those memories are not with you?" Nomi's words caught me off-guard.
"Gin doesn't have that connection with you anymore. You are a stranger to him as well…. Except now, there are many other people who can take his attention away from you. If Gin were to find someone else to have his heart, would you still say what you are saying now?"
I could feel my chest tighten at her words. Images of him with different girls ran through my mind in a second causing me to clench my fist.
"I want him happy…" Was all I could get out as I thought about what she had said.
"…..Then perhaps…. I should tell you…. Since you, too, love him." I looked up when hearing her say this. Her eyes were even sadder than before. "Gin has a girl who has stolen his attention…"
All at once time seemed to stop for me.
"She's a girl who works in the town… She was one of the first humans that he met when coming here. In fact, she got him the job with your Uncle…. I've only seen her from a distance, but the way he looks at her… was how he used to look at you…"
It felt hard for me to breath when hearing what she was saying.
"W-Why are you telling me this?" I asked her, a knot in my throat.
"Because….. I know how you feel…. But you were the one who used to make Gin happy…. I… I didn't want you to be caught off guard if she came to visit…. Hotaru… If this girl makes Gin happy…. Please… Don't try to take him away from her… I didn't try to take him away from you."
Realization dawned on me when hearing what she had to say.
"You.. You loved-"
"More than anything in this world… But…. I wanted him to be happy.. I hope you can accept this too…."
With that she disappeared into the wind, leaving me with mixed emotions.
A new girl… I have never thought of that possibility.
The walk back to my house was long and unbearable.
"Can I let another girl… Have Gin… MY Gin…" I whispered to myself. Images of our days together flashed before my eyes as tears began to fill them. I thought about his cheerful smile and the way he used to hold onto the sash with such a gentle touch that made me want to hold him so close. I thought of the way he used to say my name and look at me like I was the only thing he could see. I thought of our first and only true date. I thought of the feeling of him disappearing in my arms…
Can I watch him disappear again? Can I bear to lose him again?
…..
I couldn't sleep that night… All my thoughts were focused entirely on the situation. If it's true what Nomi said, how will I react? How can I react?... I hope that she doesn't show up for a long time. I hope that I will have time to prepare.
I sat there watering the plants out in the front yard when I heard footsteps approaching from behind me.
"Excuse me." The soft, gentle voice of a woman called causing my heart to drop. I turned around to see a gorgeous young woman with long, wavy, light-brown hair, light green eyes, and porcelain skin. She was wearing a flowy pink dress and sun hat. She smiled sweetly at me as the wind flowed through her hair.
"Hello, can I help you?" I managed to say, as my heart began to pound loudly in my chest.
"By any chance, is Gin working today?"
Before I could answer, the sliding door slammed open.
"Keirie!" Gin's excited, welcoming voice called in a way I always wished he would call mine. I sucked in a breath as I heard his footsteps quicken.
Then…. before my eyes, like a movie in slow motion, I watched him run past me and pull her into his arms. His smile… a smile that I had only seen once… Those eyes… That look I had only seen when he was vanishing… When he told me "I love you".. That same expression… They were all… Towards Her…
I love you….
In that instant, my world…. Crumbled.
My dearest readers,
Thank you so much for your patience. I have returned after a semester in hell… Thankfully, now College and Musicals do not own my soul so I can return to this fanfiction. I hope that you liked this new chapter… I have a feeling I'm going to be getting some hate.. Maybe some bombs thrown at me so please excuse me while I go hide in my secret bomb-proof shelter. Thank you all for your reviews and your follows and your support! ^_^
Until next time my wonderful readers!
