Disclaimer: Refer to the last chapter...

Quick Author's Note: I am not some raging anti-homosexuality person, there just weren't enough girls to go around for the DBZ boys...

Let's Review: OK, after I made everybody OOC in the last chapter for the purpose of my twisted mind, Videl babysat Goku and Vegeta and let them watch Barney, Mr. Popo went on a wild rampage, almost everybody was gay...blahblahblah...nothing important.

THIS CHAPTER WILL FEATURE THE CHARACTERS BEING (can't promise you completely) IN CHARACTER! AREN'T YOU HAPPY?

The original plan was to at least have the characters mostly important but I DEFINITELY failed with that in the last chapter with the whole dating service, but I had to dump my sick and evil humor somewhere before it went in overload and I killed someone...the people with my that funny straight I-Love-Me jacket are always telling me to empty my mind here.

Chapter 4: Is A Year 9 Days?

Goku woke first, it had been a week since the Videl incident. The poor girl had exited the house, half mad, and now in intense therapy sessions. The second wish on the dragonballs that were going to be put into use next year was going to be for Videl to regain her sanity. Goku was thoroughly sick of being a baby. The effects of Moo Moo Milk seemed to be taking a bad toll on him. The side effects includes hair loss (Goku was beginning to suspect that the cool feeling over his scalp was not constant air conditioning), excessive crabbiness (Goku was still his usual happy self but Vegeta appeared to be even more ready to stick Goku's head through the bars of the crib), and death (after Puar had accidentally taken a sip of Moo Moo Milk he had proved this effect to be true, Yamcha had drank some as well to be with his little friendly friend).

The sunlight pouring through the windows made him feel even happier. What a beautiful day it was...

Vegeta's eyes opened abruptly...he felt like murdering that evil mooing cow and the other occupant of his crib.

Kakkarot can go first Vegeta thought darkly, eying the saiyan And what do you know, he's awake. It's all the more fun when they fight back...
Vegeta knew that as infants, he had been stronger than Goku and planned to exploit this...as soon as he could walk...

Goku: Hi, Vegeta! What's up?
Vegeta: Hmpfh...
Goku: Why do you always say hmpfh all the time?
Vegeta: Hmp- because I want to, that's why Kakkarot, do you have a problem with that?
Goku: Hmpfh

Vegeta: Answer me properly, Kakkarot!
Goku: Hmpfh!

Goku put so much emphasis into the sound that flecks of spit spackled Vegeta's face.
"Kah koo roh!" Vegeta shouted.
Vegeta: KAKKAROT!

Bulma and Chi Chi sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee while Goten and Trunks fixed themselves a breakfast of cereal, toast, muffins, and anything else that was in the kitchen. Goten was so hungry he'd nearly bitten off his own leg.
Goten pulled out a box of Trix Cereal (which I don't own and are not affiliated with in any form or fashion, do not sue me for including them in this fanfiction) and was about to down the entire box when Trunks snatched it from his hands.
"HEY! Give it back!"
"This is my house, Goten, and I always eat that."

"Nuh-uh, Trunks, you can't!"

"Oh yes I can!"
Goten sighed as if Trunks were an idiot, "You said you were a grownup last week and Trix are for kids!"

(A/N: Oh like you didn't see that coming)

At the table, Chi Chi and Bulma sat maturely, Chi Chi took a sip of her coffee...
"Aren't Vegeta and Goku just adorable as babies," Bulma said with a giggle.
"Yes," Chi Chi said, "But of course I knew my Goku would look like that, just like Goten... But I'm suprised that monster can look so innocent."
"YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT VEGETA!" Bulma shouted.
"So what if I am?"
Bulma growled, "Do you really want to mess with me?"
Chi Chi raised an eyebrow, "Was that a challenge?"
"Oh you bet it was!"
"Fine then!"
Bulma and Chi Chi engaged into an odd Bitch slap down contest, the electricity crackled in the air.
The power of the bitch would always beat out that of normal ki. Even that of a saiyan, which was exactly why Goku (although he was such a purehearted person that he probably wouldn't try to cross her anyway) and Vegeta (yes, even the tempermental badass prince was not fond of disagreements with Bulma) could be kept in line.

Krillin, 18, and Marron had finally finished their hunt for Marron's nose, and although it was small, it was better than not being there at all. They were in West City, and Krillin could see a domeshaped building coming into view.
"Hey, 18," Krillin said, "Since we're in the neighborhood and all, d'ya think we could and go see Bulma?"
18 thought for a moment, "Fine," she said.
"Aww, Daddy I don't wanna go," Marron said.
"Why not Marron?"
"Goten and Trunks keep using me as their practice target! They say that hate pink!" she whined, "BUT I HATE GETTING BOO BOOS MOOOOORE!"
"Goten and Trunks went to the movies, ever since Trunks turned 9 and Bulma's mother told Bulma that Trunks was a man, who knew Bulma listened to her mother so much! The kid's been smoking cigars and hanging around brothels ever since. You should be fine."

Krillin and 18 rang the doorbell to Capsule Corp several times.
"Wonder what's going on in there," Krillin said, he put his ear to the door, "Oh no, I think they're having a--"

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Trunks chanted, "GO MOM! YOU CAN DO IT!"
Goten sat back, watching the entire event as Krillin, 18, and Marron entered the house.
...I'm hungry he thought.
18 took charge of breaking the two apart as Krillin was too afraid to do so.
"I think I'll uh...go check on Goku and Vegeta, Marron you stay here." the bald ex-Monk dashed up the stairs.

Krillin entered the room to see Vegeta holding Goku against the side of the crib and trying to strangle him with the blanket.
When this action failed, he pushed Goku down, put a pillow to his head, and sat on it.
Goku, flailed his arms about helplessly while Krillin chuckled and intervened.

"You're still trying to kill Goku eh?" Krillin asked.
Vegeta: Back of baldy- shit- you're not bald anymore. Fine then, move midget.. Hmpfh..
Goku: You're not very tall yourself, Vegeta.
Vegeta: IT'S THE GENE POOL DAMNIT! EVERYONE SEEMS TO THINK IT'S SO FUNNY TO POKE FUN AT MY HEIGHT!
Goku: Oh...so you're sensitive about it.
Vegeta growled
Vegeta: I am no emotional fool. Although I may kill you for the insult.
Goku: Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Vegeta. But don't worry, to make it better, we should hold hands and sing a song. Can't you feel the love in the room?
Vegeta: KAKKAROT SHUT UP!
Goku: Don't be so abrassive, Vegeta, honestly.
Vegeta: ...You know what abrassive means?
Goku: Yeah, I was helping Gohan study, it was in the second column of the dictionary.
Vegeta: ...You can read?
Goku: Well, duh! How else would I know which microwave dinner to buy when Chi Chi's gone.
Vegeta: -blinks-
thinking: I knew it was too good to be true

"Well, your wives are fighting in the kitchen," Krillin said, trailing into some story about how 18 and Marron were trying to seperate them.
Vegeta: Bulma will win of course.
Goku: I don't think so, Vegeta. Chi Chi has a lot of training in the martial arts, and she's an expert with a frying pan! -rubs large lump on head- I can't believe she's still beating me when I'm this size!
Vegeta: I would've beaten you, too if you spit up on me.
Goku: But the Moo Moo Milk was getting old! It had to go somewhere...I thought her eye was the best place.

Soon, Bulma and Chi Chi, who looked very ragged and still had crackles of electricity left in their eyes, wandered into the room. They did look a lot better than they had five minutes ago when they had been pulling each other's hair. But once Chi Chi whipped out a frying pan and Bulma pulled out a capsule gun the fun had really begun...
Of course, that was when 18 finally overcame her two bitchy friends and settled them down before they missed target and hit Marron...again.

Bulma, Chi Chi, and 18 were all in the nursery, looking at the two babies.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a girlish scream.

"Trunks, Goten! You better not be trying to use Marron as a dartboard again!" Krillin shouted.
"We're not!" Trunks shouted back.
"Or flush her down to the toilet!"
"We're not!" Trunks shouted again.
"Or perform openheart surgery on her!"
"We're not!"
"Yeah!" they could hear Goten shout, "It's not open heart, it's brain surgery."
"DADDY! MOMMY!" They could hear a little girl shout, "I DON'T WANNA GET A NEW BRAIN! AND I GOTTA PEE! REALLY BAD! I THINK I'M GOING TO GO! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"SHE PEED ON ME!" Trunks yelled, running down the hall.
Everyone in the room performed that annoying-
A/N: not going to finish sentence -sighs-

"You know," Bulma began thoughtfully, "If I could make a time machine, do you think I could make something that would speed up Goku and Vegeta's aging?"
"That's a good idea, as much as I love Goku, I think I prefer him as an adult," Chi Chi replied.
"I just have to figure out how to contain time to just one person and I can speed them right up again. I bet I could come up with something soon," Bulma took off down the hall straight for her lab.

Goku smiled his large, genuine, silly smile and he could have sworn that he saw Vegeta give a small, but happy smile of his own.
Goku: We're gonna be big! We're gonna be big! We're gonna be big!
Vegeta: Calm yourself, Kakkarot.
Goku: We're not gonna be small, we're not gonna be- well actually, you're going to be small, but I won't!
Vegeta: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE HEIGHT JOKES, KAKKAROT!
Goku: I forgot.
Vegeta: What's that awful smell?
Goku: You know that whole 'when you gotta go, just go' thing that babies live by...?
Vegeta: Ugh, would you please take care of your waste system.
Goku: OK, I'll get Chi Chi to do it. She'll be seeing my food twice!
Vegeta: -rolls eyes disgustedly-

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Goku whined.
"What's that smell?" Krillin said, holding his- wait, how the heck is Krillin smelling things, and he has no nose to hold, this story must be immediately revised...
Vegeta lifted a chubby finger to point at Goku's diapers.
"Uh...Chi Chi!"
"Chi Chi left to by groceries since the stores only a block or two away," 18 replied.
"18...Goku's having some...er...diaper troubles."
"You want me to change him?"
Krillin nodded nervously.
"Forget it, Krillin."
"But-But."
"Forget it."
Krillin sighed as 18 left the room to help Chi Chi shop for groceries, Krillin watched her fly out the window. His last hope disappeared.

Suddenly, the smell in the room worstened, if it was possible.

Goku: What's that smell?
Vegeta: ...Remember that theory you had earlier?

"Shit," Krillin swore, "Vegeta needs to be changed to. I guess I'll start with Goku first. Why me? First I die the most out of anybody and now I'm probably going to die again, these fumes are toxic, I swear."
Krillin took a brief look at the two babies, a lightbulb immediately appeared over his head, "I'll be right back."

Krillin returned to the scene with a gas mask, tongs, seven pairs of latex gloves (all of which he had put on), diapers, baby powder, and a large Change Your Baby's Diaper Before You Keel Over Dead...For Dummmies! A/N: I do not own and never will own the For Dummies series because I'm much too big of a dummy to write that book

I'm going in Krillin thought.
He used the tongs to skillfully remove the tabs of Goku's disposable diaper, one tab gone, two tab gone. He pulled back the front with the tong.
This was a wrong, wrong, wrong move.
Suddenly, Goku had an urge down there, and being a baby that was used to going on anything was not going to help Krillin.
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Goku emptied his bladder all over his friend.
Krillin stood there, disgusted, allowing it to run down his face before breaking down and screaming, "WHY! WHY!"
Soon, Goku was clean and happy.

The smell in the room remained.
Aww man Krillin thought, trudging over to Vegeta and repeating the same tong movements he had for Goku, but he jumped out of the way, not wanting to get soaked in piss again. Krillin had made a smart move as Vegeta, too had felt the need to urinate on something. The wall was now stained and the curtains were dripping. The window was open and a bird was hit with the liquid, which knocked him to the ground dead.
Krillin flipped Vegeta over to deal with the more serious problem, saiyans have bigger muscles, saiyans have bigger power levels, saiyans have bigger appetities. And it's that damn appetite that makes them have bigger shits.
Krillin gulped and began his journey to make chibi Vegeta clean.

About four sunlit days later, Krillin was rocking back and forth in fetal position, sucking his thumb.
Goku had thought this was funny and began copying his actions.
Vegeta was the only one who knew that Krillin was having a nervous breakdown.
"So much shit," he moaned, "So much shit."
That's exactly how Chi Chi, 18, and Bulma had found him.

"Well, I've got good news," Bulma said, "We've figured out a way to turn you into adults that should work instantly."

Oh my gosh! What have I done? Will the story just end in a few weeks? NO WAY! No, this has nothing to do with Namek because the whole series seemed to forget about Namek's dragonballs the whole freaking time. Honestly, they could wish Mirai's timeline back to normal just by building a ship to Namek and then wishing Piccolo back to earth and then- wait a sec, I'VE GOT MY NEXT STORY! Hahehahehahehahehahehahehahehaheha. Well, anyways, this fic is nowhere near over and I plan to make it get funnier. Sorry for my insertion of diaper changing humor.