I'd adjusted, somewhat, to seeing less of Johnny. Sometimes I'd hang out with him and Emily but usually not. I'd get that third wheel feeling, a tag along.

"You gotta get a girlfriend, Pony," Soda said one night. Steve and Evie and Sandy were due over any time.

"Yeah," I sighed, flipped aimlessly through the channels, settled on some dumb game show.

It was Friday just after supper, no reason why I wasn't going out, doing something at least.

Johnny'd been with the girl for two, two and a half months. Every weekend, most days after school. It didn't seem normal to be so jealous, and I kind of hated myself for feeling that way.

"Pony, come out with us," Soda said generously, favoring me with his mega whatt super star grin. I shook my head no. Steve wouldn't like that too much and neither would the girls, and I didn't feel like it anyways.

The screen door did its double bang because someone came in. I didn't even look up, expecting it to be Steve.

"You okay?" Soda said in his worried way. I looked up from the T.V. and it was Johnny, not Steve, and he didn't look okay.

"Yeah," he said in this shaky voice, and his eyes were round. I looked at him, trying to guess what was wrong. It could be anything. School, his parents, Emily.

He sat on the couch, nodded at me, and started watching the game show. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes, ran his finger over the logo, then tapped one out. Dug around for matches in every damn pocket he had. I tossed him a lighter.

"Thanks," he said. Lit the cigarette, his hands trembling slightly. I regarded him with a sideways glance. He didn't look hurt so whatever was wrong it wasn't his old man. Maybe his mom had screamed at him, but I didn't think so.

I wanted to ask what was wrong but he wouldn't say until he was ready, so I didn't bother. Soda started really getting ready for the date, shaving and slapping on cologne. Came back into the living room and got me in a headlock.

"Say uncle!" he said. I struggled, couldn't get free.

"Get offa me!"

"Say uncle!"

"Uncle damnit! Freak!"

He let me up, smiling. Johnny had put out his cigarette and eyed Soda warily. He knew he was next. Soda grabbed him in a headlock, knocking him off the couch.

"Soda, God!"

"Uncle! Say it! Say it!"

Soda was a spaz.

"Alright! Uncle! Christ!"

He let Johnny up and he shook his long black hair out of his face, but it just fell right back. I lit a cigarette and puffed away, wondered where Emily was.

Steve and Evie and Sandy showed up, the girls smiling at me and Johnny, Steve giving me a dirty look. I rolled my eyes.

"See ya, Pony. Bye, Johnny," Soda said, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.

"Whattya want to do?" I said, flipping through the channels. New, fuzz, news, variety show.

x……..x…….x……….x

He'd been moping all night. I'd never seen him quite like this. Upset about shit, yeah. But this type of dazed sadness, it was all about a girl.

He'd smoked nearly a whole pack and when he found his pack was empty he balled it in his fist and threw it, and for a second there was such a look of dark anger on his face that I was almost scared.

We were just walking down the street past the drug stores and pet stores, pool halls and bars. Neon lights flashing around us, cars gliding by nice and easy.

"Here," I said, holding out a cigarette. The angry look had gone as quick as it had come and he smiled, a sad little smile.

"Thanks,"

I couldn't take it anymore.

"What is wrong?" I said, stopping, grabbing his arm and kind of turning him toward me.

"Huh? What is it?" I said.