FOUR
Christina looked across at Dean as he drove them back to her father's. Their rendezvous the night before hadn't been mentioned since Sam had caught them in their cover up but she felt closer to him somehow, despite the distance it had created. It always amazed her, how intimate they could be and yet how so much like strangers they were. Dean was who he was and she had no desire to change him, although she found herself constantly on the verge of a broken heart. She wished, many times, that she could be the one girl that would stick for him. That he could settle down and she'd be the one he'd do it for, but at the same time she knew he wouldn't be the guy she fell in love with, if he did. If the truth were told, the angst between them was her way of dealing with her unsettling growing feelings for him. Dean wasn't the kind of guy girls fell for, even though she suspected there had been other women foolish enough to in the past, yet she couldn't help being emotionally involved. He was the only boy she'd had any form of contact with for years in the aftermath of his mother's death, and her parents, that she connected with instantly and maybe that was the reason she couldn't seem to let go. Things had been so much easier for the past 12 years because she hadn't had contact, and – even though she'd thought about him everyday – she was certain she'd found a way to rid herself of her feelings. It only took seeing him to make her realise that she'd buried them because they came flooding back. She would never tell him that, or make it apparent to him that she was in love… but denial only worked for so long and everyday it was getting harder and harder to hide.
"What?" Dean asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
She frowned, "What?"
"You were staring."
"No I wasn't."
"Yeah, you were."
"Get over yourself."
"Hey, I get it. You're infatuated and who can blame you? I'm adorable. But I'm taking you home so you're going to have to stick a cork in it."
His cockiness only resulted in reminding her of his other side. "Boy do you got tickets on yourself Winchester." She huffed in denial as she shifted in the back seat to look out the window. "If you were the last guy on earth, I would still hate you."
Suddenly Sam turned in his seat to face her, "So, you two don't like each other? Even with what happened last night?"
"It was a mistake." She retorted.
"A mistake?"
"It happens Sam."
"Usually it doesn't happen more than once."
Christina cut her eyes at the older brother through the rear view mirror. "You told him?"
He smiled, "I don't have secrets from my brother."
She looked back at Sam, "Well, the first time I was too young to know better and last night I was horny as hell, I'd have slept with Lucifer if he'd have been around."
Dean looked back at her via the same mirror somewhat hurt by her confession. "Oh, don't be angry sweetheart. Just admit it, you love me."
"I don't lie well Dean." She countered.
Sam rolled his eyes and faced forward in his seat. "And here we go again."
Christina cut her eyes at the driver and addressed the passenger, "Tell me, when your told your brother about us, did he include how unsatisfying it was?" She asked trying to hit him where it hurt in order to get a reaction, keeping on the subject of their sexual encounter.
It worked. He slowed to a stop off road and his head whipped round to face her. "You didn't complain last night." He reminded her.
"That's because you were the one doing all the talking." She countered with an overconfident look.
"That's right. You were busy screaming." He smirked.
"That's because I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
"Hey, I may be many things but being bad in bed isn't one of them."
She laughed, "Whatever you need to tell yourself to get you through the day Winchester."
Bobby's House, South Dakota – May 1995
Christina lay in Dean's arms feeling contented. She'd seen a different side to him over the past few years as they'd trained together and she didn't mind admitting her feelings had developed into more. That's why she'd taken his father's announcement so badly, because she knew she'd barely get to see him.
Dean craned his neck to kiss her forehead, "You OK?"
She looked up at him, "Yeah." She responded, thinking of letting him know the extent of her feelings for him.
But before she could speak, she heard John announce their return. They both jumped up.
"Shit. Your Dad's back." Dean cursed searching for his jeans on the floor.
"He can't find us like this." She said, looking for her own clothes in a rush.
= X =
John walked into the lounge to find Sam right where he'd left him. "Where's your brother?"
"Upstairs." Sam replied.
"What the hell are they doing up there?" Bobby asked with a frown as he made his way up the stairs.
= X =
Christina found her t-shirt and put it on just in time, as her Dad opened her bedroom door and walked right in.
"What are you two…" Bobby trailed off seeing Dean pick up his shirt from the floor.
"Daddy, this isn't what it looks like." The teenage girl tried to cover what they'd done with a lie.
"Not what it looks like?" He asked looking at her. "Does it look like I've got stupid written across my forehead?"
"OK, let me explain."
"You don't need to. I know what happened." He said grabbing Dean before he had the chance to put his top on.
= X =
"I find you near her again boy, I'm going to beat you down." Bobby told the teenage boy as he dragged him down the stairs by his ear.
Christina rushed after them. "Daddy, this wasn't Dean's fault."
"You think you can take advantage of my girl?"
"He didn't." She insisted.
"I let you into my house and this is what you get up to?"
John walked out into the hallway, toward the noise of his friends booming voice, to find his eldest son half dressed. "What the hell's going on?"
"Ask Dean."
Spokane, Washington (Highway 90) – Present Day
The memory flashed in front of Dean's eyes as he started back on the road toward South Dakota. "Your father can't know about us." He told her.
"Relax, I'm not about to announce it to the world." She assured him with a roll of her eyes.
"Good, I like my body. I'd like to keep it in tact."
Sam smiled. "Did Bobby threaten you?"
Dean reluctantly nodded, "He said he'd rip me limb from limb if he caught me with her again."
He turned to face him, his eyes bulging from their sockets. "Bobby caught you?"
Christina slid forward to rest her forearms on the back of the front seat. "Your brother wasn't as fast at his getaways back then."
= X =
Sam checked the backseat to find Christina fast asleep. He turned to focus on the road ahead. "So, do you ever plan to tell her?" He asked his brother.
"Tell who, what?"
His eyes motioned to the woman in the car. "You know what I mean Dean."
Dean's eyes darted to the backseat to check on Christina. "Shhh. She's gonna hear you."
"How? She's asleep."
"Yeah, if she's actually asleep." He said in her direction, loud enough for her to hear if she was just dropping off or waking up.
Sam frowned, "She's asleep Dean. She dropped off about twenty minutes ago."
"Yeah well, I'm not talking about this."
"She won't hear us."
"Like I care. You're still not getting me to talk about it."
"Why?"
"Because emotional chick flick moments are your thing, not mine."
Sam sighed, frustrated that his brother was so disconnected from his emotions. "Fine."
"Good." He paused. "Bitch."
"Jerk."
= A Few Hours Later =
Christina woke when she felt the car grind to a stop and realised the engine had been shut off. She yawned as she sat upright. "What's going on?" She asked as Sam exited the vehicle and slammed the passenger door behind him.
"We're stopping." Dean pointed out the obvious.
"Yeah. No shit Sherlock."
"You asked."
"Why are we stopping jerk-off?"
"I'm not driving through the night."
"If you'd have woke me, I could've taken over."
"But I like to sleep comfortably… in a bed."
"Where'd Sam go?"
"To order some rooms."
She frowned before realisation hit her, "Oh, because you're wanted by the authorities."
"Yeah. This is me keeping a low profile."
She coughed to clear her throat. "So where are we?"
"We're in the treasure state." He tried to be clever.
"That'd be great if I knew which state you were talking about."
Dean rolled his eyes, "We're in Billings, Montana."
= X =
Christina used the key Sam had given her and walked inside her room. She'd managed to get a change of clothes from her case, despite Dean's protest, and planned to have a shower before she met up with the brothers in the bar across the road. But she felt exhausted. Being possessed had taken the wind out of her sails and she didn't feel fully rested, even though it had been a few days. She looked around the room and sighed as she dropped down on the bed, she was so tempted to just curl up and fall asleep. But as the thought ran through her mind, her door knocked. She frowned as she sat up, and it took her a minute to get to her feet and answer it.
Pulling open the divide, she came face to face with Dean. She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?" She asked, turning on him and walking back into the room.
"I thought I'd come by and check if your room was OK." He responded knocking the door closed behind him.
She spun to face him. "It's fine, and no doubt exactly like yours." She responded sitting on the bottom of the bed. "So, why don't you tell me what you really came here for?"
He slowly made his way over and sat beside her. "I just thought we could talk." He confessed.
She frowned, "About what?"
"Uh… well, it's kind of about last night."
She rolled her eyes as she climbed to her feet, "There's nothing to talk about. I know what last night was. You don't have to worry; I'm not taking it as anything more. I knew exactly what I was doing."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I was using you, just as much as you were using me Dean. There's no need for you to simulate dumping me, my feelings aren't hurt." She lied to cover her breaking heart.
He looked up at her and cleared his throat. "Well, so long as we understand each other." He said, getting to his feet and starting to walk past her. But stopping short of the door, he turned back to face her. "And your Dad?"
"Will never know about us."
He nodded. "Good." He responded, walking out.
Christina helplessly threw herself on the bed with a growl. He infuriated her. The fact he had to keep ensuring that she wasn't emotionally involved despite them having a sexual connection made her furious, especially when she wanted so desperately to confess everything. It was exceptionally hard to hold back yelling it out when they fought. But she had to bite down firmly on her lip. He couldn't ever find out her true feelings.
= X =
"Did you tell her?" Sam asked his brother as he returned to the room.
Dean closed the door behind him, "No."
"But I thought that's what you went there for."
"She started talking about how last night was nothing more than sex and that she had no feelings for me."
"She actually said those words."
He shrugged, "Something to that affect, yeah."
"Well, maybe she was saying that stuff because she thought that was what you wanted to hear."
"Yeah, and maybe she was telling the truth and you just think you know something you don't know at all."
"But…"
"Bottom line, I'm not telling her so she can laugh in my face." He confessed. "Now I need a drink. You coming?"
= X =
Christina walked into the bar and spotted Sam straight away, so made her way over. "Where's Dean?"
Sam motioned toward his brother, "Doing what he does best."
Her head whipped around to see him chatting to a blonde at the bar and jealousy immediately ensued. "My God, if sex were fast food, he'd have an M-shaped arch over his head." She commented.
Sam smiled. "Yeah. He's like a dog on heat."
"Can he ever just talk to a girl and not be after sex?"
"He manages it with you." He pointed out.
"Oh, there was a time when every other line was an attempt at a pick-up. But I learned quickly to throw cold water on him. I've only just figured out that it's not always necessary for your brother to talk before he starts humping your leg."
Sam laughed. "I thought you said you two were close friends before."
"God, that seems like a lifetime ago." She was honest as she glanced over at him. "We've known each other a long time and yet some times I don't think we know each other at all."
"Why'd you say that?"
"Ah, you know, nobody really stays the same – and he just seems so different to the guy that left Dodge back in '95." She said dragging her eyes from the involuntary hold he had on them. "Some times I miss the Dean Winchester I used to know." Silence fell on them for a few minutes before she spoke again. "We didn't always fight so much. We used to actually be able to laugh together. But he's got it into his head that he has to distance himself from anyone who isn't family, so our friendship suffered." Sam stayed quiet and let her talk. "I wish we hadn't lost contact, but I just couldn't deal with the hunting lifestyle and he couldn't understand that, which meant we drifted further apart. Now we barely have a single thing in common."
"That doesn't necessarily mean that you don't know each other any more. You just grew up."
"Well, one of us did." She smiled, attempting to make a joke at Dean's expense.
= X =
Walking toward the men's toilet Dean caught sight of Christina with his brother and he was curious about their topic of conversation. Just an hour ago he'd been convinced by Sam to bring his feelings for the female to light, which he'd failed to do and now he was paranoid that his old-romantic of a brother would do the telling for him.
As he walked into the small room out of sight, he tried to push it to the back of his mind. Except, all he could do was think about it. Once he'd finished doing what he needed to do, he washed his hands and made his way back out into the bar to join them.
"What are you two doing?" He asked approaching their table.
"We're keeping each other entertained Dean. You can go back to your little friend, we're fine." Christina came back with.
"Ooh, is that jealousy I detect in your voice?"
"If you were the last man on earth, I would probably be jealous. But I know what awaits her in the bedroom, so I pity her."
He took immediate offence to her comment. "I know how to please a woman."
"Then please, leave me alone." She said, much to Sam's amusement.
Dean's discontent was obvious as he cut his eyes at his brother and then walked away in a huff.
= X =
Dean returned some hours later when Sam had left Christina alone to go to bed early. "I know what you're doing?" He said sitting down beside her.
She raised her eyebrows in morbid curiosity, "What am I doing?" She sighed.
"You're waiting for me."
She frowned, "Waiting for you to do what?"
"You want me."
She almost choked as she sipped her drink and laughed. "You're right. I want you to leave me alone."
Getting up from his seat, Dean stepped up behind Christina and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I can see it in your eyes." He said, before walking away.
"Yeah well, when I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head." She shouted after him.
Her blood boiled as she watched him leave the bar. Because what he'd said was so close to the truth, she was angry. She'd put every effort into hiding it from him that she couldn't understand how he could know. Unless he was blowing hot air, in order to get a reaction from her.
Knocking back the last of her drink, she went after him. She was going to have it out with him once and for all. She was going to tell him how much it hurt to want to be with him and know it wasn't going to happen. She was going to lay it all out in all it's painstaking glory, if it was the last thing she did. Walking out into the car park, she looked around for any trace of him. But found none. She took a minute to try and control the fire burning in her stomach with a deep breath, but failed to extinguish the flames. As she was about to march to his room to have it out with him, once and for all, he spoke.
"Touch a nerve did I?" He asked, pushing himself off the wall behind where the door swung out.
Spinning in surprise Christina covered her heart with her hand. "You son of a… don't sneak up on me like that."
"I was just standing here." He said looking smug.
"Yeah, sure you were." She didn't believe him. "What are you waiting out here for?"
"Because I knew you'd come after me."
"And how did you know that?"
He shrugged as he started to circle her, "Because you can't resist a fight. Least of all with me."
"Dean, if this is one of your missions to get me to bite, you're not going to have to try too hard because I'm so close to kicking your ass."
Stopping, he stood in front of her wearing a smile. "I like it when we rough house."
She rolled her eyes, "I'm too tired to play your games." She said stepping around him. But before she got even two steps away, he spun and grabbed her by the arm. He pulled her back toward his body and enveloped her with his arms as he landed a full kiss to her lips.
