Predictions & Harlots

Professor Profeta watched the last of the sixth-years disappear down through the trapdoor, smiling at the last two students, who were holding hands and just couldn't stop looking at each other. Glancing around, she realized the class had left all the cards laying about, scattered around the tables or otherwise ignored. The third-years would be coming in for their first class of Divination after lunch, and she wanted the room to look good, so she started cleaning up the tarot cards the last class had not. She came upon a table where there were cards spread into a diamond shape, unread, though something felt strange around them. She considered it for a moment before sitting down in front of the cards. "Ok, Spirits. If I should not read these cards, give me a sign, a signal." Nothing happened, and though the professor still had the odd feeling of foreboding, she trusted the Spirits, and had for forty-some odd years. Taking a deep breath, she tentatively lifted the first card and she began to smile; it wasn't bad. She continued around the diamond, her smile slowly fading into an uncertain frown, as she pieced the cards' predictions together. She flipped the last card and the words escaped her lips in hardly a whisper: "Oh no."

Meanwhile, Sirius, Kathleen, and Remus were on the third floor, walking down the corridor to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"I'm telling you guys, I heard the new teacher was once a frog!" Sirius was saying enthusiastically. "There was this little man with a really peculiar name and he cast a spell on her because she couldn't guess what his name was, and then she had to obey everything anybody said, and then this crazed witch told her to turn into a frog because she ate her gingerbread house, so she did, and then..."

"Her prince came along and rescued her," Kathleen finished dully.

Sirius pouted. "You ruined my story!"

"I knew I should never have bought you that book of Muggle fairytales," Kathleen laughed, looking up at him. Just as her attention was elsewhere, someone stepped in front of her, causing her to have to halt abruptly to avoid bumping into the newcomer. The girl standing in front of her was a sixth-year Gryffindor. She was tall and rather unfortunate looking, with so much makeup on that she looked like she was made of plastic, and hair that was an ugly shade of strawberry blonde. Her shirt was left unbuttoned so that her bra was visible, her skirt was hiked up so high it left almost nothing to the imagination, and her robes had been hemmed the same length. Several fifth and fourth-year girls behind her were dressed and made-up similarly, though they looked a bit more tasteful.

"Hey Sirius, hey Remus," she gushed, smiling widely and showing all her teeth.

"Hello Claire," said Remus politely, though Sirius ignored her.

Her eyes fell on Kathleen, and she crossed her arms. "Dove," she spat with distaste, looking down at the short witch as if she were scum.

"Acerbi," returned Kathleen in a similar tone, raising an eyebrow and placing her hands firmly on her hips. "So are you going to fail everything again this year because you're too busy staring at Sirius?" A member of the group sniggered, quickly turning it into a cough when she Claire glared daggers at her.

Claire turned back to Kathleen and fake laughed before rolling her overly darkened eyes. "Very amusing, Dove, but I'm not even in his classes this year, so your joke didn't work." She smiled at her 'cleverness' and tossed her hair behind her back before adding, "I'm only even talking to you because I know it was you who put black hair dye in my shampoo at the end of last year."

"Very good, Claire. Did Mummy have to help you with that, or did you figure it out all on your own?" asked Kathleen in a baby voice. "And yes, it's an honor to be graced by the presence of the great Claire Acerbi, I just..." Here Kathleen paused to fake tearing up. "Thank you so much!" she said, feigning her voice cracking. At this, Sirius and Remus snorted with laughter. "I thought your hair looked better like that, honestly," Kathleen continued in her normal voice. "Now it looks like someone glued pink straw on your head."

"I'm just telling you, Dove. It took me all summer to get my beautiful hair back to its natural color, so watch your back."

"Maybe you should spend less time on yours," Kathleen retorted.

Claire's jaw dropped, unable to think of a response, staring at Kathleen in shock.

"Kath!" Remus exclaimed, using his 'I-am-a-prefect-and-will-not-condone-that-sort-of-behavior' voice. "Five points from Gryffindor for...uh, being cruel."

Claire smirked. "See what you get, Dove? You just lost our House points on the first day." She didn't appear bothered by this though, and she and her groupies walked away looking satisfied.

"Fifteen points because that was wicked ace," Remus added when Acerbi was out of earshot. The cousins did a strange handshake and all three students continued on their way to DADA.

"I've wanted to use that one forever, and she was finally stupid enough to give me the opportunity, so I went for it," Kathleen laughed as they entered the room.

"Sit wherever you want," the new professor said from her desk. Kathleen sat in-between Remus and Sirius at a table near the back and waited for the lesson to begin. "Hello class, I am Professor Newman. Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. This year, we will be learning more complicated defense tactics than last year, and-" She paused as the door opened. A dark-haired bloke strolled in, looking unconcerned that he was late. Kathleen thought he looked kind of familiar.

"Sorry I'm late, but I was napping in the Staff Room and lost track of time," he told the angry-looking professor nonchalantly.

"Benjamin Daniel Newman," she growled in a low voice which everyone could still hear. She sighed and announced, "Due to an unforeseen conflict I will only be able to stay here for one year, so my irresponsible son here will be taking over. He's also going to be assisting me so he has enough experience to teach."

"You guys can call me Professor Ben," he said with a smile. When he spoke, Kathleen suddenly realized why Ben looked so familiar; he had only graduated two years before.

"Is that Big Ben, the Head Boy from fourth year?" whispered Sirius.

Kathleen smirked. "I think it is, Padfoot. He's lost quite a bit of weight!"

Ben glared in the direction of the pair, though he didn't say anything, so he must not have actually heard what they had said.

Kathleen smiled innocently at him, and he continued the lesson.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and by that night, the group was up in the boys' dormitory devising their prank, which had so far gone nowhere.

"It has to be big," Kathleen declared. "I mean, usually we just curse a bunch of Slytherins, and it's not that they don't deserve it, but we only have two years left. Why not go out with a bang?"

"I agree," said Remus. "But what are we going to do?"

"James, is it possible to charm an area to trigger a Transfiguration?" She shifted from her comfortable upside down position on Sirius' bed to sit up and look at the bespectacled boy.

"I don't know. You're supposed to be Miss Charming McCharming-ton around here. I'm fairly certain that it is, though. "

"It is," Remus confirmed after a few minutes of searching Advanced Magic for Joking around: a Prankster's Guide by April Luck.

"Great, I think I've got something."


Sorry this took so long! And sorry it's short! I may get another one out today, but I dunno... maybe if you review?
Thanks to
TheNightimeSky, who is kind enough to review every chapter!