After years of waiting nothing came
As your life flashed before your eyes
You realize
I'm a reasonable man
Get off, get off, get off my case
I'm a reasonable man
Get off my case
Get off my case
After years of waiting
After years of waiting nothing came
And you realize you're looking,
Looking in the wrong place
I'm a reasonable man
Get off my case
I'm a reasonable man
Get off my case
I'm a reasonable man
Get off my case
After years of waiting
You're a reasonable man
Get off our case
I'm a reasonable man,
Get off my case
I'm a reasonable man,
Get off my case
I'm a reasonable man,
Get off my case
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PACKT LIKE SARDINES IN A CRUSHD TIN BOX by Radiohead.
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"I'm sorry mam… I wish I had better news for you… It's not her! The girl. She's not your daughter."
A plain blank expression stared back at him. It was the face of an elegant but simple woman, dressed impeccably, with a modest amount of jewelry but, for a trained eye, the expensive kind. She was flanked by her son standing by her right side with a protective hand on her shoulder and one of her daughters sitting by her left, holding her hand.
He paused for a second, trying to read the woman's expression, she looked at him intently, with an expressionless face. As a detective of the missing person division, detective Jones was used to give bad news to good people, usually he gave more bad news than good news, and he hated it. He was also used to see the crushed heartbreaking reactions, while he had to remain impartial and professional.
"You're wrong." She said simply and with such conviction in her eyes.
He was very experienced with dealing with people in denial, he knew the kind of tricks the mind could play on someone who lived so desperate for so long, usually they tended to hold like mad people to whatever ray of hope appearing along the way, he know it was going to be hard to persuade this woman to accept the truth.
"Mam… listen to me… It is not her."
"That's impossible… Did you talk to her?"
"I did… I explained everything to her. She doesn't remember any of it… she doesn't know you. And Ms. Grey is absolutely sure she's biologically linked to her own mother and father. Dr. Grey was a respected surgeon with no reason whatsoever to have had steal another woman's child, we also made contact with Seattle police and we got the hospital file from when Dr. Grey gave birth to Ms. Meredith Grey and there are plenty of witnesses that can corroborate that. We contacted her father too and he confirms it all, he has pictures, medical files…"
"No… I do not accept that…" She said standing up to him, with a frightening determination. "She is my daughter. I know it, every fiber of my being yells it at me, and I don't care about hospital files or witnesses, there could be lots of explanations for that, and quite frankly I'm exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to find that explanation myself, that is your job. I don't care how she ended up being with a world wide renown surgeon as a mother, or if either this woman stole her herself, found her wandering on the streets and took her in, or someone gave my child to her, all I care about is that after 22 years I finally have found my daughter. I appreciate what you've done for us, but I think your job is done here, all I wanted from the Boston police was for them to put an address and a name for the girl on the picture, my daughter, and you already did that. I assure you we will always be grateful with you for that, now if you excuse me…"
"Mam… it's not that simple, there's more…"
"Derek, dear… would you be so kind to walk detective Jones to the door?"
"Mrs. Shepherd… please, you have to hear me out…"
"Come with me detective… she's really tired, it's been a long road… let's not alter her, we can talk outside." Derek said to him as lifted his arm showing detective Jones the way towards the exit."
He agreed knowing that it would probably be better to talk to his son, who might be a more rational recipient to all the info he had to show on the file underneath his arm, to prove his case. He could not leave this place without making absolutely sure, they know the truth, sustained by physical and scientific evidence. While he was following Dr. Derek Shepherd to the exit door, he could hear behind the door that was just shot behind him, how Mrs. Shepherd crumbled to pieces with her daughter. He could hear Elizabeth Shepherd talking with desperation to her daughter through the door.
"He's wrong… He's wrong… Kathleen. She's your sister. A mother's heart always knows. She's our little Marie. Of course she doesn't remember anything. She was a baby when it happened."
They walked through the threshold of the hotel room door and got to the hallway, outside the room.
"I'm sorry we have to have this conversation out here, but she's very fragile right now." Derek explained to detective Jones as he closed the door behind him, to keep this conversation as far away from his mother as possible.
"Dr. Shepherd. I'm gonna be straight with you. I have a DNA test, I ran it twice. Not that I don't trust the first result, I did it more for your mother's sake. It was negative, both of them. The girl… She's not who you're looking for."
Detective handled the file to Derek, who opened it and stared at the DNA results with a constrain expression, regardless his attempts, the honesty of his eyes weren't as successful at trying to hide his pain.
"I understand your disappointment, but I can't let her keep thinking this girl is her daughter, I have to protect Miss Grey's privacy too. If she needs to have an appointment with her I can arrange one, maybe looking at her in person can help her convince her of the truth, maybe if she hears it from Miss Grey, herself."
"It wont be necessary detective. I'll take care of it. Thank you for everything." He said shaking detective's Jones hand. "May I." He said showing up the file in his hands.
"Of course, I brought that copy for you. It's all there. Medical files, pictures, everything… So… I can put this to rest?" He said slowly. "Can I go, knowing you'll talk to your mother? It's protocol to make sure we clear things out with the family. The last thing we want is a call from Miss Gray, claming she's being stalked. Can I trust you'll make sure your mother accepts the facts? Are you responsible for her?"
"I am… Don't you worry about it… I'll take care of it…"
"Ok then…" He shook Derek's hand. "I really hope you find what you're looking for soon. I lost someone too… so... I wish you luck."
"Thank you, but you and I know she's dead. She's dead and buried in a ditch somewhere. You know the probabilities, you have the statistics. That's what you do for a living."
"Yeah… I do… But hope, doesn't figure in any statistic, and even though in most cases, the scenario you just described becomes a reality for lots of families, there is also the very rare, very astounding and unbelievable case where miraculously, the missing person appears. And that's the most wonderful thing about hope, as long as they don't show you a body, you can keep hoping. That's what kept your mother alive through out all this years."
Derek looked at the detective walking away through the hallway as he stood immobile outside the room. He felt as if a huge weight was clinging on his right hand, coming from the content of file he was holding. He took a deep breath trying to figure out what to do, or how to do it. He couldn't be the one breaking his mother heart like that, again. He couldn't even bear the thought of it.
He got inside again and put the file inside a drawer, perhaps he should wait till tomorrow, today had been a very stressful day and he wanted his mother to rest a little, or perhaps he just wanted her to enjoy the idea of her lost sister for one more day, but he couldn't do this right now, not today. And he found himself actually wondering if he could do it at all.
He went back to his mother and sister, finding in front of his eyes a heartbreaking scene. His mother crying desperately, asking his sister Kathleen, to take her see her. When she realized Derek walked in she ran to him and clutched to his shirt.
"Derek… we have to go to her right now… we have to bring her home with us… we have to help her remember… please Derek…. I don't understand why we keep waiting. Please… Please… My baby…"
"Listen… mommy…" Kathleen said pulling Elizabeth gently away from Derek, and walked to the nearest couch sitting beside her. "If she doesn't remember us, she might get very upset. You said it yourself, she was very little when they took her from us, she grew up thinking someone else was her mother, and then lost her in a terrible way. She's gonna need time, we can't barge into her life like that, we need a slow and gentle approach, don't we… Derek?" Kathleen looked up at her brother looking for reassurance.
He seemed to be deep in thought almost as if he had been holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Derek!"
"Umm yeah… yeah… Maybe you should go back home, and I can stay here, and I'll… I'll figure something out…."
"Oh… Derek… please… promise me… promise me you'll bring her back to me… promise me sweetheart… You need to get your baby sister back home."
Deep pain reflected in his eyes, the conflict in his brain was maddening, he wanted this to end, he wanted this to be over, all his life, all his memories as a young boy, as an adolescent and as an adult, have been determined by the absence of his little sister. He felt so lost, his heart was so filled with confusion and pain, and he wanted it to just stop, to stop it all once and for all, because deep down he knew the truth, their little Marie was dead, and there was not way his mother would ever accept that… He needed to make it right for her, he need it to give her some comfort.
"I promise… I'll bring her home, back to your arms… I promise mom."
He needed an out, he needed to run out of the room as fast as he could, perhaps he feared that if his mother or Kathleen scrutinized his face for a few more seconds, they would be able to read the truth in it, so he got out of the room, took the file with him and ran through the hotel hallway.
After a while of wandering on the streets, a mess of mixed thoughts speeding up through his mind. He reached a trashcan on an alley and threw the file in it as he set it on fire. No one could ever know the truth, he would take it to his own tomb if necessary… and now… now he had to figure out how to keep his promise.
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He walked into that bar, with only one thought in his mind. He had no idea how to do it or what he was going to say to her once he encountered her. All he knew is that the sanity of his whole family depended on it, and he was not going to mess this up, not again. He had a mission to comply, and a promise to keep.
He found himself a table at the back of the bar, one that offered a good view to the barstool. He dressed in black pants and a red shirt, he figured that if he was going into a bar, he might as well try to blend in… keep it cool… keep it casual. As if he were just a guy in a bar.
He spun his head around looking for her. His heart jolted the moment he spotted at her, there was no doubt, it was her… right there sitting on a booth on the bar stool, there she was. A tiny body frame, blonde her, she looked so… so adorable.
He chuckled to himself, as he looked at her mesmerized by her beauty and bossiness, when she ran off a guy trying to seat next to her. Her presence was hypnotizing to him.
Never in his wildest dreams he expected to encounter that. He walked into this bar with only one thing in his mind, and somehow a strange force was pulling his resolve.
He came in looking for one thing… and he found another… Never in his wildest dreams he expected something like this…
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A/N. Uhhhh In case you haven't notice, the whole thing was a flash back that ended right in the moment when Derek walked into the bar. Ok so, I'm hoping most of your questions have been answered, at least the main ones.
