This is for Jislan and Halfred Askold: the only guy who thinks shotguns and girls go together.
This is a transitional chapter and leads into the juicy stuff you all want to read.
Rep
Chapter 4
Previously:
If he was alone that meant that somehow Winkle had either killed his friends or hurt them so badly that they couldn't be there. That hurt more than his chest or eyes. Far worse.
He felt a cool hand grip his right hand and then soft lips briefly caress his own. "Sweetie, I tracked down the nurse and she's bringing in more pain meds. I – I don't know if you can hear me, Moonpie, but I'm so damned proud of you. You're my Sheldor the Conqueror from now on."
He tried to talk but his mouth was dry and his tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of his mouth. "Penmmph", was all that he heard his mouth say and he cringed at how pathetic and needy it sounded.
"Here ya go, sweetie. Some water to cut the gumminess from the anesthesia." He felt a straw against his lips and he sucked down the cool liquid and marveled at how something as simple as water could taste so good.
"Pen –" He started to speak but her fingertips on his lips startled him into silence. "No talking, Sheldon. Just listen, okay, and I'll try and cover all the bases."
Penny gave him a quick summary of their situation and his condition. She also went into some detail about the paintball duel and how it ended.
"Sheldon, the docs here have called in a DC specialist and they have great hopes for your sight. Right now your left hand is in a restraint and I got your right one out to hold it. It's just until you were conscious enough not to try and touch the dressings. I'll undo the left one but right now I just want to hold on to you. I thought, I mean, oh, Sheldon – "
She started to bawl and laid her face on his thigh, still clutching his hand.
Tears! Danger! Kryptonite! Why was she crying?
"Penny, please don't cry. You know I can't stand seeing you cry. Please…I don't know how to…I mean…please, Penny, please stop crying." He wanted to go back to sleep and away from her sobs. Was he dying? Was she trying to make his last moments as comfortable for him as she could? If so, she definitely needed to revamp her plan. The emotional pain was far worse than the physical.
"I'm – I'm sorry, it's just that…you could have been blinded or worse and I just couldn't handle it if anything happened to you, Sheldon. I would just die…"
"Oh, Penny, you know that's far from likely. You're in marvelous physical shape and you're young and the statistical mortality tables indicate at least another 50 years of life if you ease up on the consumption of alcohol and get your 'check engine' light repaired."
"It wouldn't be a life if you weren't in it with me somehow, Sheldon. You're my best friend and…"
"I thought Amy Farrah Fawcett was your 'bestie'?"
"Okay, best man friend then. So you see, you have to get better, okay? Who's going to fix my laptop when I screw it up? Who's going to be my partner for Halo? Who will keep me company when I'm doing laundry in that creepy basement? Who will nag me to get my 'check engine' light repaired? I really need you in my life, Moonpie."
"Penny, I've asked you how many times – "
"Six hundred and thirty-two times. Get over it."
"You counted?" He had no idea how many times he'd asked her not to call him 'Moonpie'. Only his Meemaw got to call him that.
"No, but I'll bet it's close. Listen, there's something I need to say and this is the perfect opportunity to do it since you can't run away from me. Sheldon Cooper I lo-"
"Ah, you're awake. Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?" Leonard walked into the room and noted Penny's tear-streaked face and the death grip she had on Sheldon's hand and he felt a pang of jealousy and loss but swallowed his wounded pride and got right down to business.
"Sheldon, I'm here at this facility trying to duplicate the SuperHydrazine for the government's space program. I've run countless trials and I just can't seem to get it right. I've done everything exactly as I did when we put together the batch you dumped into the elevator shaft and nothing works. It either fizzles out or heats up until it explodes!"
Alex walked in behind Leonard and placed a tape recorder on the tray table and identified herself and the date and time and participants.
"Dr. Cooper, Dr. Hofstadter has gone over his notes and his experiment and cannot duplicate the SuperHydrazine. Please go through what you can remember about that night and we'll take your comments and see if we can get this right."
"Alex, you're NSA? Are we in some dark hole in the desert?" Sheldon had a basic distrust of the Federal Government although he took their grant money with a smile.
"Yeah, I am, Sheldon. I was sent to look after you when Leonard joined the project." Leonard snorted and Sheldon figured 'joined' meant 'shanghaied'.
He went through all he could remember which was everything, of course. When he got to the part about deceiving Joyce Kim by pouring Mountain Dew into the container that she thought contained the SuperHydrazine both Penny and Alex laughed quietly. It was so Sheldon.
"Then I poured the SuperHydrazine into the almost empty bottle of Mountain Dew – the two liter bottle that was on sale that week. We bought two since the savings – "
"Um, Dr. Cooper, you put the liquid into the 2 liter bottle and then what?" She didn't care about sales and savings. She was after far bigger game.
"Well, while Leonard was out in the hallway 'entertaining' his deceitful Korean Mata Hari, the mixture started to overheat so I devised a magnetic containment field like they used on an episode of Star Trek."
"Sheldon, then what?" Alex didn't want to listen to his lecture on the science fiction being future fact.
"Well, I used what I had at hand - refrigerator magnets. I then carefully observed that the mixture appeared to be cooling. I screwed on the bottle cap and then went out into the hallway and dropped it down the elevator shaft and sent the car down so that it would 'tamp' any explosion."
"Wait a damned minute, Sheldon! You made a 'magnetic containment bottle' using refrigerator magnets and a Mountain Dew bottle?" Leonard's mind was racing in circles. A magnetic containment field?
"Well, of course. I couldn't let the mixture explode and take out half of Pasadena! Have you forgotten all that we've learned from Spock? 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'. It was simple math, Leonard. The two of us versus all those innocents?"
Penny thought her heart would burst with pride. Her Sheldon really was a hero and all this time she never knew.
Leonard just looked at the ceiling with that constipated look he always got when he was trying to figure out just what the hell Sheldon was talking about.
Alex switched off the recorder and looked long and hard at Leonard Hofstadter. He'd been trying to take credit for something he didn't even know about and she found that disgusting.
"Dr. Hofstadter, go back to your lab and use what we've learned here and make the magnetic bottle thing that Dr. Cooper devised and test his hypothesis. I'll be along shortly."
Leonard smiled weakly at Penny and ignored his friend and left. He had to figure out how the hell to devise a 'magnetic containment bottle'.
"Leonard, remember to leave approximately 100ml of Mountain Dew in the bottle. I arranged the magnets in a double-helix pattern and used Scotch tape to stick them on the bottle. I couldn't find the glue since you never put anything back where it belongs when you're through with it."
Leonard just nodded and then left. Penny looked down at her feet, embarrassed that she'd ever let the whiny little troll touch her.
"So, Alex, what happens to me and Penny and Wolowitz now? Going to send us down the rabbit hole and forget about us? Or perhaps it would be much simpler for the government to just kill us in our sleep?"
Penny glanced at Alex and saw her smiling and breathed a sigh of relief. Sheldon was almost paranoid about the government especially after Leonard's cryptic message that he was 'going to work for the government' before he disappeared.
"Oh, Sheldon, we're not like the movies. You'll just go home after swearing never to discuss or reveal anything you might learn or hear. We may ask you for help from time to time but you and Mr. Wolowitz and Penny will be free to resume your lives."
"You never mentioned Raj, Alexandra. What about Rajeesh?"
"He's on his way home to India for a nice vacation and reunion with his family. He's free to return to work as soon as he's able. He wasn't hurt but he is quite upset about all of this – especially since he slept with Tinkle the night before the duel. He feels like he betrayed you all somehow."
"That's utter bull! Raj is as loyal as the next guy. He doesn't want to go back to India because his parents will arrange a marriage and he lacks the backbone to say 'No' to his mother." Penny glanced at Sheldon and muttered, "Like someone else I know."
"I heard that, Penny. Vulcan ears, remember?" He looked smug, at least from the nose down.
"Yeah, Moonpie, how could I ever forget it." His smugness disappeared with 'Moonpie' and was replace by something like…acceptance.
"There is one thing, though, Dr. Cooper. You'll need someone to look after you until the bandages come off. You may need another operation depending on what the DC specialists decide. I could call your mother…"
"No! No, please, she'll drive me batcrap crazy and I'll never have a moment's peace. Penny will stay with me. She can move into Leonard's old room and let her apartment go. Penny, you'll save money and my sanity if you'll please say 'yes'."
Alexandra snorted and Sheldon looked in her general direction wishing he could glare at her. "I'm not crazy. My mommy had me tested – twice."
"But Sheldon, I have a job. I have – " Sheldon interrupted her. "Alex, do you have a laptop that Penny can access?" Alex left the room and brought back a laptop. She interrupted Penny's argument that she had a job and a life and she couldn't be with him all the time. What if he fell? What if someone broke into the apartment? He needed a full-time companion."
"Penny, be quiet. Now bring up the internet and go to my bank's website. You should know it by now since we use the same bank. Enter my account number and password. The account number is 7073002546."
Penny did as she was instructed. The wireless connection was superfast and she was into the account log-in section in seconds.
"Okay, what's the password?" She looked at Sheldon and swore he was blushing. "Sheldon, I promise not to loot your bank account, sweetie. You can change the password when we get home."
"Pennyblossoms." Yep, he was definitely blushing. Alex had no clue what was going on between them but Penny's smile illuminated the room.
"Sheldon, that's so sweet of you. Okay, I'm in – whoa! Holy shit! You're freaking rich!"
"I'm freaking frugal, save as much of my paycheck each month as possible – as I've tried to get you to do – and I have some investments as well as a savings account. Eight years at Caltech with nothing much to spend it on, so yes, Penny, I guess I'm freaking rich."
"So now what?" Penny had no clue what this was all about but Alex thought she might.
"I want to hire you to be my companion, my 'seeing eye' – " Penny growled at him and muttered that she was no body's seeing eye dog but Sheldon continued. "My 'seeing eye companion', Penny. I'll pay you twice the salary you got waiting tables, including tips, and I'll pay for all utilities, rent, clothing and food."
"Sheldon, I don't know…" Alex watched the emotions flicker across Penny's face and almost laughed. She was trying to sound doubtful when the smile on her face screamed 'Yes!'
Sheldon pulled out all the stops. "And shoes, Penny. I'll include a bonus arrangement for shoes. Please?"
"Um, okay, Sheldon. I'll do it. I'll feel a lot better knowing that you're being looked after by someone who knows you and your schedule."
A/N: And that's the real beginning of the story that will be covered in the next few chapters.
