Sorry for the delay. I know I said the next chapter would come about two weeks after the previous one but it was brought to my attention that my portrayal of Jacob's character was a little off so I took time to read New Moon again, just to get a better grasp of his character. Thank you for the reviews, your suggestions really do help!
Chapter 4:
I skipped over to Bella, who was making her way through the semi-crowded hall. She kept on looking over her shoulder at Jacob and Edward, both of them trailing a safe distance behind us.
"Boys . . ." Bella sighed. "They really expect me to choose."
"Well Bella," I began my lecture of the age old truth: "vampires and werewolves are natural born enemies. They're not meant to get along." I mentally winced. How ironic that I was saying this. Wasn't I the one who couldn't stop thinking about Jacob even though I was a vampire and he was a werewolf. Of course I felt guilty about not being able to get my mind off of him, not just because of Jasper but because he was in fact a werewolf and being in love with him is not possible. It was taboo! It was just not accepted. "Bella, just don't expect them to get a long."
"There just has to be someway a vampire and a werewolf can get a long!" exasperated Bella.
"Well when you figure it out, tell me."
I was ever so slightly pushed aside as Jacob took a his place next to Bella. Edward had already wrapped his arm around Bella's waist. I rolled my eyes, here I was forgotten . . . again.
When we arrived at the lunchroom Bella tore herself away from Edward to show Jacob how to buy something at the lunch counter leaving Edward and I to sit by ourselves. Two bitter vampires was never a good thing.
"Stop looking so upset, Edward. Bella loves you and you know that! She's just friends with Jacob."
"Well that's not what he's thinking." mumbled Edward. "He'd like to be a lot more than friends and besides when do you care so much about a werewolf?" I had the urge to just get up and walk away but I resisted. He was just in a bad mood, everyone was, and he didn't normally act like this plus he had a lot of extra stress because of Victoria.
"Edward, please. I . . . I don't care. I just don't want you to upset Bella." I whispered. I could see that I hit a nerve. Edward lowered his head ever so slightly and his anger even subsided a little. Before he could say anything Bella and Jacob returned. Jacob was carrying a whole pizza. Bella took one piece and Jacob proceeded to scarf down the rest. Bella laughed and told him to slow down. He complied for about ten seconds. As Jacob finished he looked at Bella and said:
"I'm still hungry."
"I think that's enough for now." Bella said through giggles. "I think even more people would stare at us if you did."
I don't think that was possible. Everyone in that tiny lunchroom was staring at us. I'm sure that none of them had ever seen anyone devour all but one piece of a pizza in two minutes. Bella was still working on her one piece of pizza and without Jacob loudly wolfing down his pizza, the awkward silence was painfully obvious. Bella struck a conversation with Jacob. She sounded a little uneasy.
As I sat there trying not to look at Jacob I couldn't help but think of him. Things like:
"Why does he keep looking at Bella. Why doesn't he look at me?" When I thought that Edward gave me a confused look. I shook my head, trying to free my self of those thoughts. The next thought I had was:
" I wonder if Jacob is always so warm." I surprised myself when I thought this. Apparently not as surprised as Edward. I saw his eyes widen. I shoved my face into my palms. Why was I thinking this? Was I trying to get a lecture from Edward? I was just going to stop thinking all together but when I made eye contact with Jacob I lost control of my thoughts yet again.
"If I could just touch Jacob again maybe I could kiss him this time." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward stand up, his chair toppled over, and in a very low tone he whispered:
"Alice. I need to talk to you." He sounded so in control yet I knew he could lose control at any moment. Jacob and Bella's conversation stopped.
I shook my head. That just made him angrier. By this time everyone's attention had turned to our table, yet again. Everyone was whispering and pointing, I could tell that Bella was about to die from embarrassment, if she wasn't she probably would have said something.
"Alice, just come with me and things won't . . . get worse." Edward seethed. I did not want to leave the safety that this room presented but I could tell that Bella was going to wither up and die if everyone kept staring at us so, for Bella's sake, I slowly walked out of the lunch room, Edward following behind me. We ended up in the parking lot. He walked over to the car and ripped the door open.
"Get in." He ordered.
"No." I growled. "You can't make me."
"Alice." was all he said.
"Edward, you just need to calm down." I urged.
"What on earth have you been doing with that werewolf?" Edward snapped.
"It's not what you think." I protested glaring straight back at him. "I just ran into him one night and ever since then I just- I don't know. I just get jealous when I see him staring at Bella and not me. I like to be around him. He's so warm."
"What?" Edward asked. His eyes widened. "You aren't in love with him are you?"
"No! It's just that he's so. . . Edward, we're so cold." I said holding my hand out. "Cold things have no life. Corpses are cold." I saw Edward's eyes soften.
"Alice, that's what we are. We're not alive." He murmured.
"I know but Jacob is so warm. It's almost like his warmth makes of for my . . . my lack of it! Don't you understand." It almost seemed like he did. I know he was constantly thinking about his own "lack of warmth" so to speak but as quickly as the understanding came, it went.
"How could you do that to Jasper? He loves you." I winced.
"I didn't do anything to him. I just thought about it." I muttered.
"Thoughts lead to actions. You don't seem to understand it." he sounded disappointed.
"You can't tell me what to think, Edward!" I cried.
"It's for your own good."
"My ow-" I was cut off as I heard Bella calling Edward's name. I turned around to see Bella running towards us. Jacob behind her.
"Edward! What's wrong?" She ran to Edward's side. Jacob stood, aloof, a few feet away from our little "gathering". Edward glared daggers at Jacob. I saw him take a step in Jacob's direction.
"Don't do it." I warned him. He knew what I was talking about and he stopped but I think it was more for Bella's benefit.
"Don't do what?" asked Bella. "Tell me what's wrong!"
"You don't wanna know." I told Bella.
"Maybe you should talk to Jasper."said Edward."Tell him you've found something better."
I knew Edward was bitter because he was such good friends with Jasper and to not defend him would be like betraying him but I hadn't deserted Jasper. Lately, every time he entered my mind, I hurt. I knew I was betraying him, thinking about Jacob like I did but all of a sudden all I wanted to do was go talk to Jasper. I glanced in Jacob's direction. He was staring at Bella.
"Fine!" I screamed. "I will go talk to him but . . . not about that." I assured him. I held out my hand, indicating that I wanted the keys to the car. He sighed, reached his hand into his pocket and threw the keys to me, actually it was more at me. Without another word I hopped into the car and sped out of the parking lot.
As I drove I began to feel dizzy and my breaths started coming in quick gasps. I could've just stopped breathing but I didn't think of that. I think I almost swerved off the road a few times. I wanted to cry but I couldn't.
When I reached the house Esma greeted me with concern but I just ran past her. I felt guilty but I had to get to Jasper.
I was standing in front of his door with my hand on the knob. Now if I could just find the strength to open the door and go see him but before I could open it the knob slowly turned and the door opened. I was face to face with Jasper. He saw the look on my face and gathered me up in his arms. He picked me up and carried me over to the beanbag chair in his room.
"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to calm me. I wailed loudly into his chest so he just held me tighter, apparently he was trying even harder to calm me down. He smoothed my hair and whispered soft, reassuring words in my ear but his calming effect didn't work on me.
"You know that I love your right?" I whimpered.
"I've never doubted it for a moment. You know that I love you. That's something that will never change."
I wailed louder when I heard that.
"Jasper!" I cried clinging to his shirt. Jasper brushed the hair out of my face to show me that I had his attention. "Don't let me leave!"
"Why?" Jasper asked, sounding curious and concerned at the same time.
"Because if you do then I'll hurt you."
"You would never do that to me and you know that. I don't know what happened but you're delusional."
"Plea-" He silenced me the best way he could. He placed his lips on mine. It started as a soft kiss but when I crushed myself to him he responded in kind. His hands ran through my hair. I placed my arms around his neck and against his lips I mumbled:
"Jac-" I stopped myself before I finished that word. I was still thinking about Jacob! I pulled myself away from Jasper. I knew what the problem was! I knew what was wrong with me. At this realization I stood up and smiled.
"Jasper. I need to go."
"What happened to hurting me?" Jasper asked me, with a raised eyebrow and a smile.
"You've . . . quenched my fears."
"Glad to hear it." I ran for the door and the next thing I knew I was driving back to the school to find Jacob. I knew why Jacob was always on my mind. It was just a physical attraction. It would subside soon enough. The more time I spent around him the less I would be affected by him.
I pulled into the school parking lot just as the bell signaling the end of the school day rang. I smiled as I saw Bella, Edward and Jacob approaching. Edward gave me a skeptical look when he saw me.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I talked to Jasper."
"And?"
"And everything is fine. I figured out what was wrong." I flashed a smile at Edward. "I see a problem," I glanced at Jacob "and I fix it."
"So why are you here now?" he asked.
"I needed to return the car to you." I threw the keys to him. "You can drive Bella home."
"Well then, get in." said Edward.
"No, I think I'll just walk home. Too much driving." I grinned at him.
"Ok." Edward opened the door for Bella to get into the car.
"You sure?" asked Bella through her open window.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Ok, bye Alice! Bye, Jacob!" Jacob and I waved at the car until it was out of sight. I turned to Jacob.
"You walkin' home?'
"Yeah." He began walking on the side of the road in the direction of the reservation.
"It's a long way to the reservation. Don't you have a car?" I asked.
"Yeah, but it's busted." he frowned deeply.
"Well that's just too bad. Let me walk home with you." I grinned at him.
"You can't go on the reservation." he stated.
"So I'll walk to the reservation with you." I sped up so I was walking next to him.
"Whatever."
I was convinced that if I spent extra time with him my attraction would subside earlier. So there I was walking with him, the whole time I edged closer and closer to him. After about ten minutes of me being uncomfortably (at least for him) close to him he stopped and turned to glare at me.
"Why do you keep touching me?" demanded Jacob.
"I like it." I answered plainly.
"You- you WHAT!"
"I figure the more I'm around you the quicker the urge to be around you will go away." Jacob gave me a look, it was an intrigued look.
"Really? You mean if I just touch you" Jacob brushed his hand against my arm."you'll go away quicker."
"I guess that's my point. The more contact we have the less of a thrill it will be. You see?" I was being awfully calm about this, so was he. How strange.
Jacob bit his lip and looked to his left, then to his right, as if to see if anyone was around, of course no one was. No one ever took this road. He then turned to me.
"Go ahead." This time it was my turn to be surprised.
"What?"
"If you'll go away quicker" said Jacob "then you can uhhh touch me." He had a hard time getting those last two words out. I raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure?" I asked, it seemed a little too good to be true but I guess he saw it the same way I did. Get rid of your problems quick instead of dragging them out.
"Yes." the word came out in a raspy voice.
"So I could just" I began reaching up for his face "do this." My cold hand touched his hot face. He closed his eyes. I think he was enjoying it. I pulled his face down so it was level with mine, which was quite a ways, and I traced my finger around his lips. Even with him almost half bent over I still had to raise myself on the tips of my toes to kiss him. It was the oddest sensation. I knew that I was doing something that was wrong but I just didn't want to stop, I wasn't sure if I could.
The next thing I knew Jacob was lifting me up in his arms. It was effortless for him. I pulled away to look at him.
"Why di-"
"I was uncomfortable like that." he muttered. I looked him straight in the eyes and sighed.
"Put me down." I grumbled.
"What?"
"You don't want do this. It's not right for me to" It took me a second to get the words out "force myself on you." Jacob set me down.
"Actually, strangely enough, that's not it." he admitted a little sheepishly.
"What is it then?"
"Uhhh You said you were only attracted to my ummm bo. . . you know. Not me, just my-"
"Body."
"Yeah."
"It started out that way but now I just don't know." I bit my lip. I was so sure. I thought I had this problem all figured out but the fact that I could stop kissing him of my own free will meant something. I loved Jasper but I had just figured out that I was more than just physically attracted to Jacob. This was a real problem.
Without warning one of my visions came to me. It was frightening. A giant black werewolf and Jasper were rolling around on the ground of a muddy forest. They were both bloodied and bruised. I hoped this one didn't come true.
